Musings Of An Unquiet Mind

My closest friends and family, my loved ones, are the absolute BEST reflection of who I am. When you have healthy self-respect, self-esteem, dignity, a seemingly unending source of inner strength, and an innate sense of self, you don’t wait for some mythological superhero to rescue you. You’re your own damn hero, and I’m SO PROUD of the inspiring women in my life who’ve been through HELL and back, but are SO wise, kind, caring, and fierce when necessary. Me? I’m always fierce and this week, that ability to go from perfectly pleasant to ice queen in less than half a second was considered “intimidating”. I’m only intimidating if you’re fucking weak. Perhaps you should not challenge someone you don’t know well enough to challenge. Turns out, I’m venomous when necessary. 🤷

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I was raised to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and friendships. It’s why I ditch toxic and/or narcissistic people without a care in the world. I KNOW my worth and value in ALL things.

My best friends are these AMAZING, strong, witty, “I’ll do anything for you.” kind of women, and I firmly believe like attracts like. Loyalty attracts loyalty. Honesty attracts honesty. Ride or die types of people attract the right friends to them. My friendships have lasted longer than most people’s marriages, and if you can devote that much care to a friendship, it says a LOT about your character.

I’ve met many soul mates in this incarnation. The best friend soulmate; the professional development soulmate, the sibling soulmate, etc. Unless you’re a new soul, this is not uncommon.

Almost two years ago, I was filling out paperwork and glanced to my left. A pair of blue eyes met mine and I immediately knew I KNEW this person, though we had definitely not yet met in this incarnation. Every time I sit across from this person and we’re deep in conversation, it builds a stronger foundation. And yet, when someone refers to this relationship, even if they think their comments are benign or funny, I am immediately protective of this person. It’s the same type of fierce protection my friends and family benefit from, and I still don’t fully understand the relationship other than to say I’m incredibly grateful to have this person in my life. Not in a codependent kind of way, but in a “Do NOT fuck with my people.” kind of way.

In the past year, shitty people have shown me their true faces, and wonderful people have stepped up and into my life in a myriad of roles. I hope everyone understands how much I value them.

You don’t have to be a romantic partner for me to show my respect and appreciation. I have impeccable manners and I make sure this translates onto my social media platforms.

My friends KNOW who they are and should know how much I love them. Anytime you work to establish and continue building a friendship, I know you’re not full of crap.
My family members are few and far between, but they’re MY family. I would take a bullet for many of them and just like with my friends, if you hurt someone I love, I will personally hunt you down like a hungry lion and destroy you. Don’t test me. Most likely to take a bullet, but also most likely to rip you to shreds and scatter you like dust. I don’t know about some of you, but I’d WANT that loyal, fierce friend/family member in my life because you know where you stand with authenticity. People masquerading; not so much.

Matt, thank you for identifying authenticity in others and ALWAYS being this amazing reflection of who EVERYONE should be. You are such a beautifully evolved soul. 😘😘😘

Identify your tribe. Love them fiercely. But don’t hesitate to cut cancerous toxicity away when necessary. Remember that you matter, too.

#Honesty #Soulmates #Love #SoulFamily #Familia #Friendship #TribeOfGoofballs

💜🖤💛💚💕💟💞💗💖

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copyright © 2019 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Written work by author may not be shared or posted anywhere without express written consent from the author. Excerpts and quotes from the material also require consent. This authors’ work and personal photos are protected under U.S. and International copyright laws. Further protection is under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Borrowing Energy From Tomorrow To Enjoy Today

Borrowing Energy from Tomorrow to Enjoy Today

No, You’re Not Innocent

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I try very hard not to fly off the handle with people I love/like/respect, but every once in a while someone says something and they take no responsibility for what a comment implies. It’s perfectly okay to say “I don’t have time to talk at the moment, can we talk later?”, but it’s not okay to tell a person that they’ve “wasted their time with you” and blame you for their poor time-management skills. Especially when this is a sudden issue and has never come up before. If I don’t have time for something in the moment, I wait until I do. I don’t place blame on someone else for taking a few minutes out of my day, EVER (Unless it’s my brother, who torments me with irritating shit, but that’s another story.).

Like most people, I don’t like being accused of things I haven’t done and would never do. No one wants to be accused of heinous shit and then be called “sweetie”, “dear”, etc. It’s passive-aggressive and it pisses me off.

When a comment implies that you’re A) A drug dealer, B) a prostitute, or C) a white-collar criminal, all within the confines of the words “This is how you acquire legal income.”, you either re-read the words to make sure you haven’t hallucinated or had a stroke, or you say WHAT.THE.FUCK?! That comment is directly insinuating that my income is somehow illegal. There’s no getting around that, it’s a loaded comment. When you know you’re the absolute OPPOSITE of those things, tell me you wouldn’t flip out on the person saying the idiotic crap. If you’d let it slide, please exit stage door left. I don’t like, appreciate, or respect doormats.

My immediate response was nearly “Go fuck yourself.”, which I decided not to use as my actual reply. However, I did put the other person in their place and turn my phone off. I decided it was best to take a nap and try to let it go because there are some things you simply do not say to me, not if you like living.

I don’t want to hear ANYTHING this person has to say because I cannot unhear or unsee what was said, and there was a lot said. There are some things in life that you cannot apologize for, and I am not a “sweep it under the rug” kind of chick. I’ve made it clear in all of my relationships that if you cross certain lines with me, there’s no going back. This was a HUGE fucking line.

Insinuating things that aren’t true implies some pretty negative views against who I am as a person, especially when I’ve never been anything but good to them. I will not stand for that kind of disrespect.

Somehow, this magically became all about them and not about what THEY said. It was more along the lines of “How dare you speak up for yourself. I feel SO disrespected!” Excuse me?! I’m not the one insinuating negative crap. God No, you’re not selfish or self-absorbed AT ALL…despite the fact that you turn every single thing ever said into the ‘You Show’. 

When you say something wrong, you apologize. You don’t turn it around on the other person and make yourself into the victim. If ever I am in the wrong, I have no trouble admitting it. Sometimes we don’t see that we’re potentially in the wrong, sometimes it takes a few days to realize the impact it may have had on the other person, but in this particular instance, I know that I am right.

I immediately replied “Are you implying that I am somehow illegally acquiring income? Because if you are, that is low.” I said it yesterday morning and turned the phone off before I said something truly awful. I have a temper, it’s not a secret. The same fiery passion and loyalty that will defend you to the death can turn against you if you cross a line with me. I make no apologies for it because I am honest about it upfront. I’ve never downplayed that side of who I am. When someone pushes on every last nerve I’ve got, I am going to push back, but believe me when I say, the person in question didn’t even get a bug bite compared to what I can actually achieve through words and actions. If I truly want to hurt you, I have the power to do so, but I use my power wisely because viciousness isn’t a daily requirement. Taking the nap was for me, and for the other person’s overall safety, but I was under no circumstances going to let that comment fly.

Last evening, the text messages started flowing in over my incredibly benign “clarify yourself” question. For over a fucking hour. I nearly laughed at the manic ridiculousness of it all. If you want to start a fight with me, you will not win. I have a skill-set and it is not one-dimensional.

Sadly, the person sending the messages has exactly one skill-set. They will get defensive and say all kinds of ridiculous crap, and later back down because they “don’t want to fight”. Well, then shut the fuck up and don’t start shit. It’s really quite simple. Communicate like an adult or don’t bother. I know four year olds with better texting and communication skills!

If you’re guilty of spelling words via text message improperly, you had better have some kind of bizarre character limit on your texting plan or an I.Q. that matches your shoe size because there’s no way I will accept it unless you’re between the ages of 10 and 16. I will absolutely NOT accept it if you’re over 30. “Ur, “U”, “2”, and “B” will drive me bonkers over time. I have a swiping app on my phone for texting. It’s free, so anyone can use it. It means my ability to go to 400+ characters is nearly as fast as I type on my laptop, and I don’t shorten words, not even the word “okay”. Auto-correct is a bitch at times, but I’ve definitely expanded its’ horizons over the past seven months.

I decided to ignore most of the texts between 5:00 and 7:00 PM. I replied a few times to say “This is inappropriate for texting, I will discuss this with you when you’re able to communicate with me properly.” The accusations kept flowing. Using my words against me, which was done by re-typing my text back to me, was one of the most comical things I’ve seen this week. My response was “That’s your big defense? I’m not even going to engage you on that.” Why? Because it is childish and ridiculous. I know what I said and when I say “I nearly told you off because of what you said, but I held back.” and the other person gets pissy about it, I don’t need a never-ending soliloquy about how difficult your life is…all of a sudden. At that point, I become completely immune to your drama. Once again I responded by saying “I will discuss this with you at a later date.” I turned my phone off and that, for me, was it. I figured the conversation could continue by phone this weekend, or via e-mail, or really, not at all. I am pissed and I don’t currently have it in me to be nice.

When I woke up this morning there were two new messages. It started off with “I don’t want to fight with you.” I’d said in one message that their anger was misplaced and I wasn’t going to take responsibility for this person being angry at someone else. That’s only fair. However, if you don’t want to fight with me, don’t start a fight.

If you’ve known me for a year, two years, ten years, or twenty years, then you KNOW that pushing my buttons is going to unleash the beast. At this point, you know full well that snotty comments, insipid questions, being nosey, telling me what to do, how and when to do it, and/or talking down to me is going to have an effect. You can’t temper rude comments with “honey”, “sweetie”, “baby”, “dear”, or “I love you.” I am not receptive to that. It’s absolute bullshit to me, plain and simple.

I didn’t respond to the new texts because I want some space before I get into it again, despite the fact that I shouldn’t have to rehash it. Alas, I get an e-mail with the contents of the two text messages “Just in case I didn’t check my phone…” Are you kidding me with this shit?!

The nicest thing I could say this morning is “I read the texts when I woke up this morning. There’s a reason I didn’t respond. I need some time before I say anything, and I hope you can understand that.”

I am not going to waste an entire day on the phone this weekend discussing this crap. I am not going to respond to any additional text messages. Until I calm down and this person’s incessant mania stops, they are persona non grata. I have enough going on in my life, I don’t need additional drama on top of it.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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It’s Okay

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Just in case some people need a reminder about this.

For an incredibly communicative person, I don’t always want to talk. As a creative-type, I spend a lot of time inside my head. As a writer, it’s my job to state the facts, and when writing fiction, it’s my job to create a world that is relatable and draws you in. I feel blessed to be able to do those things, but sometimes, it feels really good to communicate with others in some tangible way.

As many people who suffer from a form of chronic pain, I have become accustomed to “my cage”. I’m good as long as I have my laptop, music (when I can tolerate sound), cat and kitten (’cause they’re soft and sweet…most of the time), movies, books/Kindle, and my DVR. Occasionally, throw some food at me. You might want to feed the writer regularly though, I’m told she tends to get “hangry”.

I caught myself over the last few days with both my landline phone and cell phone sitting next to each other while I was writing, as if I am just SO important that the calls in my life are non-stop. They aren’t. I’d get rid of the landline completely if it didn’t utterly freak me out to not have a phone at home when my cell is acting up, or in an emergency. I spend more time e-mailing and texting people than I do talking to them, though a lot depends on the other person and where they live.

I’ve received Skype messages on my phone from my brother when he was five minutes away, because apparently I need to watch him try on sunglasses and “approve” what looks good on him and what doesn’t. (Did you just roll your eyes? I sure did!) I receive goodnight Skype messages from my Goddaughter because she wants to make sure I’m not in pain. Alas, I cannot and will not lie to a four year old.

E-mail probably wasn’t created to replace letter writing, but it took over almost completely. I’m a little surprised when someone sends me something handwritten. A card when it isn’t a holiday or my birthday is downright celebratory. You should see how I act when packages arrive, because I know full well I didn’t order anything.

There are aspects of this highly digital age that annoy the crap out of me (You will read about it in another post.), and there are amazing breakthroughs in technology that people dreamed about being a possibility “in the future”, but that was 20 years ago, or longer, and most of them aren’t here to see their vision realized. My Grandfather would have been incredibly intrigued by a lot of this. I cannot picture him taking selfies though.

Ultimately, it’s okay to be an introvert and not feel a deep desire to be “amongst the people” every single day of your life. It’s okay to pick and choose your friends, who and what you devote your time to, and it’s even more okay to be yourself, without apologies.

Nothing and no one in life is perfect, but when you have the essentials, say a prayer each night for them. They’re worth more than you know.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Conditions

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Be certain of them though. There’s no more room for bodies in the trunk.

Conditions

There is a moment when you realize that the relationship you are/were in has more conditions placed on it than you ever realized. This can easily apply to friendships as well.

If you abandon, do not expect my loyalty.

If you disrespect, do not expect my respect.

If you are genuine, don’t turn on falseness when it suits you.

If you care, then care all the time, not as a matter of convenience.

If you’re truly concerned, then do something. Don’t ask what can be done, listen and actually help.

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.

You never know when the walls you place up against someone else might be what destroys them. It’s not healthy or wise to treat someone as lesser than you simply because they are different.

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Or where they live… 

The flip side is this:

No matter what I may be going through, I will still be present for you.

If you ask, then expect honesty.

If you show me you don’t care, don’t expect me to be blind to that.

If you abandon, do not expect to be forgiven.

If you get ugly with me, please don’t expect me to eat that politely with a knife and fork.

If you isolate me, I will make certain that you know you no longer exist in my eyes.

And while they do it, they pretend they've been wronged!!
And while they do it, they pretend they’ve been wronged!!

People ask for different things in relationships and friendships, but often times when they get what they ask for, they run and hide. It’s hard for me to take someone seriously when I see that kind of behavior.

Sometimes a person’s behavior actually has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. However, lack of communication is usually what starts fights, hostility, anger, and resentment.

Communicate, appreciate, validate, and don’t disrespect the people in your life. If your needs change, SPEAK UP. No one is a mind reader. There are no results in sitting around bitching, whining, and complaining about something. There ARE results in communicating and letting the other person know precisely what is going on.

If you’re going to dissolve any type of relationship, have the balls to do it to a person’s face. Don’t do it via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or text message. That’s low, and classless. Treat people the way you want to be treated. And if you cheated, do everyone involved a favor and don’t make that shit public. Isn’t it bad enough you’re a piece of shit, does the world really need to know about it too?!

I swear, I was born on the wrong planet!

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Overreaching

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I decided a few weeks ago to forgo all the “traditional” Thanksgiving Day fare. I did not relish the idea of dealing with a turkey when a good half of it would end up in the garbage or making stuffing because I made it last year and there is simply NEVER enough stuffing one can have. I’m a carb fiend, take my word on this. FYI for all pet owners: Do not give your dogs or cats dark meat, it’s too rich for them.

Alas, I came up with a different idea. It’s a great idea. However, after a very long day of shopping in two different stores for everything I needed yesterday, I woke up this morning (way too early) and had a moment of utter panic.

What possessed me to think that chopping 7 pounds of vegetables would be “no big deal”? I’m more concerned with my Fibromyalgia, because it is flaring up BIG TIME today from my neck to my ankles, than I am about my skills with a knife (I already sliced myself last night on a mixer blade.). I will have no choice, but to take breaks in between each veggie (there are 4 in total, but there is, obviously, a LOT of it.). My only “plus” is that having had a migraine yesterday afternoon, which required medicine with caffeine to abort it out of my system, I was left wide awake into the wee hours of the morning. It was around 10:30 or so last night when I decided I was “awake, therefore I should bake”. It took more time to mix up the batter than it did to bake the two cakes I made. I thought they were awful, until I tasted the 100% cooled product this morning. It’s a little like dying and going to heaven, depending on what you like cake wise. I’m only feeling certain flavors these days. But hey, that’s one additional thing out of the way. All I have to do is frost the cake, though I do have to say that certain frostings are so disgusting, and filled with chemicals that terrify me, that I wish I’d taken a spare 30 seconds to read one can before agreeing to it. However, it’s not going into MY body, so it’s not on me. At least the normal one has ingredients in it that I can pronounce, as opposed to “Let me just Google this…” That is the quickest way to ruin dessert.

I think Aleve should be forced to change their advertising slogan from “It’s your life, pain shouldn’t get in the way. 2 pills will provide up to 12 hours of relief.” (Less than ten years ago, they claimed that 2-3 pills was 24 hours of pain relief compared to 8 Tylenol. Who the hell are they kidding? Neither of them work.) to “2 pills MIGHT give you an hour or so of peace.” There’s absolutely no drastic difference if I use the brand name or a generic version, there’s no such thing as true “relief”. I’m willing to do a LOT right now for true pain relief, but I have my limits. I already feel like someone beat me to death and no one has found my body yet, so if you don’t hear from me for a while, I must have posted from the spirit realm.

Dinner won’t be “early” tonight, hell, it might not even be served in a timely fashion, but I’ll do my best to get it all done. I have an assistant, we’ll see how long he lasts before I throw him out of the kitchen. As long as there’s no bloodshed (from my chopping knife), it’s all good.

No matter how you spend this holiday or where you are spending it, especially for our troops overseas who are away from their families, take a moment to appreciate the good things in your life and all the unhappy, bad shit that lead you to this place. Take stock of all that is important to you. Sometimes we find that the list is huge and other times we find that the list is smaller. My list is in the acknowledgements of Book One. I cannot say it’s short.

Don’t just be thankful today, be thankful every day.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Scorpions Mean Business

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People often ask me why my name on WordPress is “ScorpionGlow”. Well, I’ll tell you.

For one, I am a Scorpio. In fact, today is my birthday.

Two, scorpions glow. Of the 1750 known species, almost all of them will show up under a black UV light, thus, giving off the impression that they glow in the dark. If you know an actual Scorpio, I’m pretty sure there is something about them that shines brighter than that of non-Scorpios. That’s not arrogance talking, it’s fact. Put me in a room with 50 people, I will always choose to be around other Scorpios. I can pin-point them down to the last detail, because I know my sign so well.

Scorpions have existed for 430 million years, which explains why Scorpios are such intense survivors. Only 25 of the known species are venomous. Spend an hour with me, I will probably zing or sting, all depending on how you behave towards me.

Scorpios are intensely loyal. We are “ride or die” types of people in our relationships and friendships, but don’t EVER get yourself on the opposite side of that, because it is a very dangerous place to be. People often mistake our personalities for something they really aren’t. People almost always assume I am sweet and nice. I’m not. I might do nice things, but I’m pretty sure only the mosquitos believe I’m “sweet”.

Many non-Scorpios like to tell the story of the Scorpion & the Frog. I’ve heard many different variations of it over the years to the point that it annoys me. No, I won’t sting you “because it’s in my nature”, but if you push my buttons, be prepared for the outcome because I do not back down and I will tell you precisely how things are. I might not kill you, but you’ll certainly wish for it sooner or later. A very common saying in astrology is “Hell hath no fury like a Scorpio scorned.” Slightly apropos. Push me to the point of no return, and the stinger comes out. I am well aware of my own venom, and how I come off as a person.

Scorpio is the sign of rebirth and transformation. We are one of only a few astrological signs with two ruling planets, Mars & Pluto. We share Mars with Aries. The three animals representative of the sign are scorpions, eagles, and the mythological Phoenix. Some people also associate the wolf. I do not. It is believed that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was cut in two, the head becoming the symbol for Virgo, with the tail becoming the symbol for Scorpio. Both signs, interestingly enough, are a part of my personal birth chart. If you’ve never had one done professionally, and you’re interested, ask me about it. I do them.

Each form of astrology, from Celtic to Native American, links Scorpio to different things, but most of the traits remain the same. It is presumed that we are all jealous, vengeful, aggressive beings. I learned a long time ago that in order to conquer the negative aspects of my sign, I needed to learn to keep my jealousy in check. Ever since then, I have evolved into one of the most un-jealous people you’ll ever meet. It helps keep me grounded. I’m not saying I don’t occasionally have a flare-up, I do, but it fizzles out so quickly that it can make your significant other think he/she isn’t loved enough. That’s actually not the case. There is a difference between fierce passion and jealousy. There is a difference between persistence and aggressiveness.

I often feel sorry for those who are so incredibly intimidated by those who are born under this sign. People often assume I am one way, only to get to know me and discover I’m the exact opposite. It’s interesting to see people be so surprised. Intimidating is often a word used to describe me. I am well aware of it when I’m doing it on purpose, but mostly it’s just me carrying myself with confidence. Regardless of your sun sign, all women should be able to go out in this world and hold their head up high, look people in the eyes, and not give a rat’s ass what someone thinks of them. Some men may have confidence problems, but they don’t have to worry as much about what others think of them because, by proxy, men are judged less than women are. It’s a very sad truth.

When it comes to astrology, everyone is different. However, as a Scorpio, I am in some pretty talented, fierce company. I am certain I will miss someone here and there, but that is not intentional.

October 23rd: Johnny Carson, Meghan McCain, Ryan Reynolds, Weird Al Yankovic, Amandla Stenberg, Cat Deeley

October 24th: Monica, Drake, Adrienne Bailon, Tila Tequila, Kevin Kline, B.D. Wong, Katie McGrath, Shanae Grimes

October 25th: Antony Starr, Marion Ross, Minnie Pearl, Persia White, Mariana Klaveno, Katy Perry, Ciara, Mehcad Brooks, Pablo Picasso, Conchita Campbell

October 26th: Mahalia Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Keith Urban, Dylan McDermott, Rita Wilson, Carey Elwes, Steve Valentine, Bob Hoskins, Natalie Merchant, Jon Heder

October 27th: Theodore Roosevelt, Emily Post, Kelly Osbourne, Sylvia Plath, John Gotti

October 28th: Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Joaquin Phoenix, Troian Bellisario, Bruce Jenner

October 29th: Jonas Salk, Bob Ross, Winona Ryder, Ben Foster, Randy Jackson, Gabrielle Union

October 30th: Ivanka Trump, Janel Parish, John Adams, Ezra Pound, Nastia Liukin, Harry Hamlin, Henry Winkler, Kevin Pollak, Matthew Morrison

October 31st: Piper Perabo, Jane Pauley, Dermot Mulroney, Dale Evans, Deidre Hall, Rob Schneider, John Candy

There is wide speculation that Christopher Columbus was either born on October 30th or October 31st.

 

November 1st: David Foster, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Jenny McCarthy, Penn Badgley, Lyle Lovett, Toni Collette

November 2nd: Marie Antoinette, Marisol Nichols, K.D. Lang, Nelly, David Schwimmer

November 3rd: Kate Capshaw, Dennis Miller, Elizabeth Smart, Colin Kaepernick, Kendall Jenner

November 4th: Former First Lady Laura Bush, Kathy Griffin, Bethenny Frankel, Doris Roberts, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Macchio

November 5th: Vivian Leigh, Art Garfunkel, Roy Rogers, Tilda Swinton, Kevin Jonas, Bryan Adams, Tatum O’Neal, Kris Jenner

November 6th: John Philip Sousa, Pat Tillman, Emma Stone, Maria Shriver, Rebecca Romijn, Ethan Hawke, Sally Field, Lamar Odom

November 7th: Marie Curie, Joni Mitchell, Billy Graham, Christopher Knight, David Guetta, Tinie Tempah, Adam DeVine

November 8th: Bram Stoker, Gordon Ramsey, Kamar de los Reyes, Jack Osbourne, Mary Hart, Bonnie Raitt, Parker Posey, Jessica Lowndes

November 9th: Carl Sagan, Hedy Lamarr, Jean Monnet, Nick Lachey, Vanessa Lachey, Eric Dane, Chris Jericho, French Montana

November 10th: Miranda Lambert, Walton Goggins, Martin Luther, Tracy Morgan, Ellen Pompeo, Brittany Murphy, Mackenzie Phillips, Sam Waterston

November 11th: Kurt Vonnegut, Victor Cruz, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Demi Moore, Stanley Tucci

November 12th: Richelle Mead, Grace Kelly, Neil Young, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway

November 13th: Whoopi Goldberg, Gerard Butler, Garry Marshall, Jordan Bridges, Chris Noth, Jimmy Kimmel

November 14th: Claude Monet, Prince Charles, Condoleeza Rice, Rev Run, Graham Patrick Martin, Veronica Lake, Josh Duhamel, Travis Barker, Laura San Giacomo

November 15th: Randy Savage, Georgia O’Keeffe, Jonny Lee Miller, Shailene Woodley, Jimmy Choo, Roberto Cavalli, Beverly D’Angelo, Ray McKinnon, Chad Kroeger

November 16th: Brandi Glanville, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Oksana Baiul, Missi Pyle, Miguel Sandoval, Amare Stoudemire

November 17th: Jeff Buckley, David Ramsey, Martin Scorsese, RuPaul, Isaac Hanson, Rachel McAdams, Danny DeVitto, Ryan Braun, Evelyne Brochu

November 18th: Steven Pasquale, Owen Wilson, Elizabeth Perkins, Chloë Sevigny, David Ortiz, Mike Epps

November 19th: Calvin Klein, Jodie Foster, Meg Ryan, Ted Turner, Larry King, Patrick Kane

November 20th: Emilio Pucci, Robert F. Kennedy, Joe Biden, Bo Derek, Joel McHale

November 21st: Voltaire, Goldie Hawn, Jena Malone, Carly Rae Jepsen

November 22nd: Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyler Hilton, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson

An impressive list of names for an incredibly note-worthy sign.

From now until November 2nd, I will be spending my time as I see fit. I encourage everyone to take a bit of confidence from this sign and see how empowering it really is.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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The Decision

It always helps to have a plan, but some days, it’s perfectly acceptable to wing it.

Over the last ten years or so, I’ve had a deep, abiding urge to tell a long list of people precisely what I think of them. In many instances, I have chosen to refrain. Not out of fear, but out of the fact that it doesn’t make me a better person, and it does not allow me to grow. If someone is a piece of shit to you, sometimes the very best thing for you is to walk away, not say anything, and keep on moving forward. Of course, if a person persistently pursues you for an answer, let them fucking have it.

Who is on my list? Family, a best friend of almost 19 years, and more recently, some “friends” that have proven themselves to be so incredibly full of shit, I am amazed they can breathe actual air. I am pretty sure they are walking EPA violations.

Family is always a mixed bag for a lot of people. Does anyone truly come from the perfect family? I used to think some of my relatives were so pulled together, until one particular funeral when I realized exactly how fucked up and dysfunctional every single person truly is. It was as if their masks had come off at a masquerade ball and I was suddenly able to see them for exactly what they truly are. It’s scary when people put up such good false identities, even to their own family, that you start buying into their bullshit. It’s all a facade, because in the end, no family is perfect, not everyone loves each other, hell, most of them don’t even like each other. In truth, it’s perfectly okay. Moreover, it clarified a lot for me.

Not every friendship is perfect either. The best friend I have issues with is someone who has been a part of my life for an exceptionally long time. We haven’t spoken in four years, yet she occasionally “likes” one of my Facebook posts or comments on something I write. That’s confusing to me, because if I mean anything to her, she should have apologized a long time ago for the crap she’s pulled. I love her, but I also hate her, all in the same sentence. There are moments when I just can’t imagine having allowed her to become a part of my life, and in the same breath, I sometimes wonder how she & I can not speak for so long, and then, out of nowhere, pick up like it was yesterday, like nothing has changed. The truth is, a lot has changed. I have changed. I think this time she knows that, and she’s afraid of what the outcome will be when she inevitably slithers her way back to me. She has no idea what I have in store for her. No, she doesn’t read this.

As for false “friends”, I have no use and even less time for delusional people who think their shit doesn’t stink, or who take offense to things that aren’t offensive, like the truth. If you’re my friend, then you’re my friend all of the time, not when it is convenient for you to be. If you’re not “Ride or Die”, then get the fuck away from me, period. I don’t have time for drama, petty nonsense, or bullshit. I would much rather close ranks than allow some two-faced degenerate anywhere near me, my heart, or my work.

90% of the time, I am an incredibly professional, driven, hard-working woman, and I’m a lady. The other 10% of the time I’m silently contemplating the benefits of letting a person know what I think of them, only to decide it’s not worth it, that they’ll reveal their snake-like personalities to others all in due time, and I can just sit back and let it unfold, without ever having to say a single nasty thing, however deserved it may be.

Sometimes, no matter who the person is, they’re not fucking worth it, and it is perfectly okay to come to that conclusion. The one thing that bothers me though is knowing that as I rise through the ranks, these very same people will return in an attempt to ride my coat-tails. I am going to have to employ a few people to physically and publicly sever the ties.

In short, be careful how you treat people. You never know where they’re going, or how high.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED