“All emotions, even those that are suppressed and unexpressed, have physical effects. Unexpressed emotions tend to stay in the body like small ticking time bombs—they are illnesses in incubation.” ―
As I knew it would, this story became about “gun control”, as opposed to addressing rampant global anti-Semitism. There is so much hate in this world directed all over the place, and there are too many people in public office who make an incident like this worse by twisting it into their own hate-filled game. If you, like me, disapprove of the hatred, get ready to vote them out.
We are a country of immigrants and many faiths. Educate yourself instead of fearing something.
From top left: My first official cat. She was part Egyptian Mau/part Tabby. I loved her to pieces. It is almost the eleventh anniversary of her passing. 😦 Top right: Cat humor of the day.
Lower left: Cat as a kitten. This photo was her first official full day as part of the family. Lower right: The little Goddess that started my TRUE love for Tortoiseshells. It’s been a little over six years since I had to say goodbye to her, but she is always with me, always a part of my heart, and a huge part of my soul. My Mom always said, “She chose you as her person.”, and it is the truth. Kitten also chose me.
My current duo, Cat and Kitten, have spent the day with me. They hung out, napped, got lots of love, stalked me, played a bit (Cat is back to her kitten ways. She jumps up out of nowhere and tries to bite my legs or my hip. She is a sock thief of mass proportions. This week, a pair bit the dust after she snatched it out of the organizer and tried running off with them. She got halfway up the stairs before I was able to retrieve them. I can probably wear them around the house, maybe? It was cute in the moment. Not so cute when I went to replace them and Target is suddenly 100% more expensive than they used to be. What’s up with that?!), had their dinner, and I have not seen them since. Typical. One or both will turn up around 9:00 PM for treats, and torture. I cannot believe I reward them simply for existing. I mean, no one rewards me for existing. 😉
Hope you’ve all had a good Saturday.
P.S. My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with the congregation of Chabad of Poway in California. This act of hate has me livid as hell. #JewsFightBack #RiseUP
I’m not a good actor, ask anyone who truly knows me. I don’t excel at faking things with bullshit, smiles, and pretend laughter in an attempt to project that “Everything’s great.” When people try that with me, I wonder what they’re trying to prove by lying.
This morning, I was on that ledge. I’m not off of it, and I might never be. Everything in me was trying to push forward and plan my day, which had been planned for weeks, but my body was screaming at me to stay put. My best friend talked me down and reminded me that it’s okay to cancel if I don’t feel I can do something. So after hoping medication would help (it didn’t), I made four calls and cancelled my appointments. Part of me felt immense guilt (I rarely cancel on anyone. Especially last minute. It’s even more rare for me to cancel a medical appointment, or in this case, two.), but another part felt calmer. I’m still NOT okay. I just know that when I feel immense dread, I have to listen to my body and my intuition. Whatever Higher Power intervened on my behalf today, despite making me feel like a basket case, did the right thing. If pushing makes you question your safety, LISTEN. My intuition is NEVER wrong. It has kept me alive during natural disasters, and one unexplained disaster. You can be strong and smart, and still say, “Not today.”
These next few days, I’m going to try to be calm and focus on me. I need the break. I need quality sleep and to not be in physical or mental agony. It’s OKAY to not be okay. I lead by example. You should try it.
copyright © 2012-2019 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Written work by author may not be shared or posted anywhere without express written consent from the author. Excerpts and quotes from the material also require consent. This authors’ work and personal photos are protected under U.S. and International copyright laws. Further protection is under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
“Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, “Never real and always true,” and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true.” ―Andrew Solomon