How The Hell Do You Edit The Truth?

I’ve been working on a personal and extremely important mental health piece for nearly two months. As I was writing the end and editing the deeply personal parts, I felt stuck. I’m rarely ever stuck as a writer. I think the problem is, I’m trying to edit out the harshness and the absolute truth to protect someone, but does this person really require my protection? Do they actually deserve it? It’s not like I’m naming names. And yet, I somehow feel the need to show compassion towards someone who has caused so much damage; damage they aren’t even aware of or care about. I suppose that makes me the bigger person. Guess what? I’m not liking this role too much. 😦

People have NO IDEA how often I ponder a situation and think, “Hmm, what would Dexter do?” That’s my first thought at times when people do something unforgivable or something that makes me contemplate strangling them. Note to self: Must get a t-shirt with Michael C. Hall’s face on it. My more recent thought comes after “WWDD”, and is “What would Tommy Shelby do?” Two completely brilliant characters portrayed by incredibly gifted actors, neither of whom have probably ever had to use these references in their daily lives. Interestingly enough, there is not a female character anywhere who I feel embodies any aspect of my thought process, and it makes me a little sad, but there’s no crying over spilled coconut milk.

For me, writing is the ultimate expression of honesty. It is the “public face” of my brand in a myriad of ways, and yet, many readers probably pass me on the street and have no clue who I am. I have always been incredibly content with that knowledge. Do I want strangers approaching me on the street because they read my work? Not particularly, but I wouldn’t be rude to them if they did. However, I’m not about to splash my face all over anything anytime soon because I get judged enough for my face on a regular basis. I remember meeting people at different stages of my writing career and for one reason or another, people were always shocked when they met me for the first time. I don’t think I’ve ever said to someone, “Wow. You’re actually really pretty.” or “You have no idea how other people respond to your beauty.” My best friend at the time, Shay, we were such polar opposites, but in some respects she made me come out of my shell far more than some of my other friends. I’m a much more confident person than I was a year or even ten years ago, but with social media, I am still careful and cautious. Also, I hate when I have an image of someone in my head, and then they send me a picture or they post one, and they look NOTHING like my imagination, which is very image specific. I suspect imagery is often based on how people write or speak, initially, or maybe how you discover their heart.

Getting back on track; I still feel stuck with this piece. I want to be authentic to who I am and post it entirely as is, including the bitchy parts I wrote when I was angry and felt the need to REALLY let loose. I don’t want to edit it. I don’t want to cushion the horrible aspect of what happened and what is happening because that’s taking the truth out of it, and that’s not who I am.

I have never written a single false thing. If you were to skim through the fiction work I have done, you’d find stacks and stacks of truth woven into the two different bodies of work, and yet, only those closest to me will ever know who the characters are in real life.

Writers find inspiration in many different places, but for me, my attention to detail and how I observe others is probably the biggest part of why I do what I do with ease and humility. It drives people crazy that they can’t lie to me or pull one over on me, and I know it’s because they have no idea how I know the truth. They have no grasp of what their tells are, and what it tells me about their character.

The biggest issue for me, in what I am writing, boils down to honesty and having mine placed under question and attacked. Anyone who truly knows me knows I’m a terrible liar, so I don’t even bother. One of my best friends pointed out to me that I have never lied to her once in all the years we have been friends, and she knows this because she trusts me with things many people would not. She’s not a naive person, either. She just happens to be my best friend and someone who has known me a long time. If I was deceitful, dishonest, or a horrible person, these things would have surfaced long ago. She was frank when she said, “That’s not who you are. Don’t let people twist the narrative to make themselves feel better. You KNOW who you are.” That’s where I find comfort; in my friends knowing me for precisely who and what I am. In their knowledge that I’m always the same person, all across the board. They’re right. Being dishonest isn’t part of who I am. If anything, I am probably too honest, but I’m trying to work on my filter where certain people are concerned.

I am struggling with a lot right now, but having anyone question or attempt to test me as a person? Sorry, that isn’t up for debate because I absolutely know who I am, and no one gets to question it. Not even me.

And so, I’ll edit some of the harsher points, mostly to be a lady, but I’m not going to pretend. I’m not going to temper my feelings because they might hurt someone else’s feelings; someone who didn’t spare a moment of concern for me during a horrific time in my life. After all, I was NOT the one to attack their honesty or character.

There’s a reason my platform is named “Poison In Lethal Doses”. It’s an analogy for many things, but at the beginning and end of each day, it also covers ALL BASES. Let that be a lesson to those of you who think I’m not venomous. If you’re going to attack me, you’re going to get served. For now, we’ll pretend it’s a game of tennis. If I remember correctly, having been taught to play, you lost the second you attacked me. I will come out the other side; mostly because you don’t think I can achieve anything. That’s where you’re wrong.

copyright 2018 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. All written work may not be re-blogged or posted anywhere without express written consent from the author. This authors’ work and personal photos are protected under U.S. and International copyright laws. Additional protection is covered under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.


Full Stag Moon In Capricorn


Tonight is the Full Stag Moon, so called because young male stags will start to grow their antlers at this time. It is also called the Thunder Moon because of the thunderstorms brought on through the hot and humid air.

Change or be changed is the message of this Full Moon. Since the Summer Solstice you should have felt a sense of something shifting, both within yourself and within the outside world. This is because we have crossed a line. The first half of the year is over. We have now entered the second half of the year. This a good time to look back over the past six months and what you have learned, what you have lost, and what you have gained. Take lessons from what you have learned; good or bad and use them in your future endeavors whether this be in work, relationships, or family.

Tonight’s Full Moon is in the sign of Capricorn, Things could get interesting, to say the least, This is an atmosphere ripe for outbursts that are highly emotional. Emotions could hit extremes of both highs and lows and everything in between, with quick, inexplicably loony shifts. We will experience storms in the sky and a few storms in our lives under the influence of the thunder Moon energy. We may find ourselves in unexpected mood swings; one minute sad, the next minute happy for no reason. We may experience vivid, weird dreams, but don’t worry this will soon pass.

The Capricorn Full Moon will give us strength to work out what we need in our lives. Now is the perfect time to look into work or finances. A good saying is ‘The harder I work, the luckier I get’, which is the Capricorn motto. If there are any jobs you have been putting off, do them now. If you want to give up a bad habit, use the energy of this Moon to do it. Look into money-making projects; it may be a promotion at work or a project you could start that will bring financial rewards. Many people call this the ‘Money Moon’ because it has the potential to bring you wealth or extra income.

Tonight’s Full Moon will be about building foundations for the future, to make ourselves feel more secure in our surroundings and financially. We can only be happy when we feel safe and secure in our own homes and environment. Be ambitious, go for what you want, or put plans into place to get what you want in the future. Be braver, be bolder. You will have an inner strength now that will pull you through anything that comes up against you.

Capricorn is the zodiac’s worker sign; the noble protector and soldier. Be your own hero, be a soldier, tackle any problems head on, deal with anything that has been bugging your life, come to grips with what is holding you back, break down walls and barriers that are stopping you from moving forward.

Use the energy of this Full Moon to heal your spirit. Soak up the intensified energy of the Earth and let it cleanse you.

Have a Blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Written & photo credit: Wicca Teachings

Edited by: Lisa Marino 

Full Strawberry Moon In Sagittarius


Tonight is the Full Strawberry Moon, so called because of the abundance of strawberries around at this time. If you have a lover or a love interest give them roses, as this Moon is also known as the Rose or the Love Moon. It is the perfect time to patch up relationships, get married, or find a new love. The June Moon is also known as the Honey Moon because it has a slight amber tint to it and it is also a time when honey bees are at their most active. This is where we get the term ‘Honeymoon’ from.

The Full Moon is in the sign of Sagittarius, which is the sign of truth. Things that were in the dark will now start to come to light, and new truths will be revealed. We can look at our lives with more clarity, as the veil will be lifted. Sagittarius energy is wise and expansive. Whenever the Full Moon is in Sagittarius it amplifies our thoughts and feelings and brings more information to the surface. It’s almost like this Full Moon is going to give us a magnifying glass so we can see in greater detail what is working and not working in our lives.

After this Full Moon, there is going to be a lot more clarity about what changes or adjustments need to be made and consequently there will be peace that will follow. We must also look within ourselves and find our own inner truths. You may experience some restless nights and wild and vivid dreams.

Don’t be scared to dream and want for more on this Full Moon. Sagittarius is brave and bold and will give us a boost of courage and ambition. You may feel unstoppable and have a sense of renewed energy. Use this energy to make plans for the future. Be daring and move out of your comfort zone a little, try new things. Only by doing this can we learn and grow.

This Full Moon will have our emotions on high alert, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. We will be feeling a little fragile at the moment, so be kind and gentle with yourself. Don’t be too self critical. Try to stay positive and think about all the good in your life, rather than the bad. There may be emotional desire to pack up and go off on an adventure or to visit places that bring up sweet memories.

This Full Moon gives us an opportunity to grow in so many ways and have an epic summer. The earth is full of energy and life now, use these energies to inspire you. Be creative and go out into nature for long walks, see the beauty all around you, and embrace all life has to offer. Let the Sagittarius fires cleanse, heal, and energize you.

You are getting a huge blast of positive energy from the Cosmos. This is a solar time, as we are almost at the Summer Solstice. These are power days. This is one of the most powerful days of the year. You can feel the shift in your being. The light of the heavens is pouring down into you. Use the light of this Full Moon to find your way home.

Have a blessed Full Moon, and may the God and Goddess watch over you.

This was taken locally. Pretty cool, huh? 

Written Credit: Wicca Teachings

Edited by: Lisa Marino

Photo Credits: Various



New Moon In Gemini

Tonight is the New Moon in Gemini. This will be a time of great transition. It is a time to let go of the past and look to the future. Life is moving forward swiftly now. Embrace changes and steer them in the direction you want them to go in. Allow a fresh perspective to take hold of you. Let today, and everyday, be the first day of your life.

The past does not equal the future. There is unlimited potential in the human spirit. Keep your mind open. Open your heart and let the light in. A new day is dawning for you.

The Gemini New Moon is about communication and using your intellect. Be smarter and wiser. Look at your life in a new way, think on things, make plans for the future, use the Gemini influence to help you reach a higher understanding, and propel you in a direction you want to go in. When you come across multiple choices or two choices and are at a crossroads; rather than becoming scattered like leaves blowing in the wind, quiet yourself and be still. Connect with your Spirit and the Divine and ask for the answer.

The Gemini New Moon is all about connections and expressions with others, and ourselves. We may hear from people we haven’t heard from for a while. There will be reunions with friends and family. We sometimes need to have deep, personal conversations with other people and ourselves to figure out where we are and where we are going. Our emotions will feel raw at this time. Don’t hold back your thoughts and feelings on this New Moon; let them out and tell people how you really feel.
This is a dreamy New Moon filled with potential and promises. The past few months have been challenging for most of us; many of us had a rude awakening in one form or another and life may have seemed rather hard of late, but with this New Moon things will start to look up now. Enjoy the new energy as the Moon starts it’s waxing phase after tonight and will bring us into a new place of positive and good energy. Expect answers to any unsolved questions coming on the Full Moon in two weeks.

This is a good time to go deep within yourself and see things as they really are. Listen to your intuition. Your instincts will never fail you. The logical mind can be deceived, the eyes and ears can be fooled. They see what they want to see, they hear what they want to hear. However, your inner being cannot be fooled. Live your life from your authentic self, from the inside out. Only you know what you really need and what needs to be done. The power is in your hands.

The New Moon in Gemini is a time for calm and peace. The Cosmos is in perfect harmony at this time. This is a brilliant time to make dreams and wishes come true or just spoil yourself with luxury and enjoy the peace and tranquility. Meditate on any questions you may have and the answers will come to you. Let the winds of change from this air sign blow over you and take you on a journey of discovery. This is the perfect time to start any new projects or learning something new.

Have a blessed New Moon, and may the Goddess watch over you.

Written content: Wicca Teachings
Photo: Wicca Teachings
Editing: Lisa Marino

Editing & Earl Grey


Good writers know when their story is finished. We don’t question it; we just instinctively know “This is where to stop.” and often times, we’re satisfied with that. What do you do when your story is still being told and you’re magnetically pulled to keep on writing?

I’m ass deep in alligators on this rewrite. Like an onion, this story has so many deeper layers I have yet to unravel. Today, interesting things were developed. I then saved the file and decided to do a read-through. I cut, I added, I cut some more, and then additional development began. All I could do was type, because in that moment I thought “These poor characters. They’re so desperately trying to know who they are, what their role is in each other’s lives, how to stay focused, how to move forward.”, etc. It was kind of heartbreaking for me.

Initially when these characters popped into my head, I thought this would be an easy write and a very easy read; the kind that is easy to relate to. But then I realized I’d fallen into a trap of creating a character that made a choice out of avoidance. She spent the majority of the story avoiding huge issues when she didn’t need to do any of it.

At the time, a key line from her was “I stopped thinking up ways to tell him.” She was so committed to moving forward and being a strong woman, that she made a grave mistake, and would later realize how painful that mistake would be for her. She spent a lot of time arguing with a doctor, as well, one who was trying to help her, but was bound by patient confidentiality.

I allowed that to play out until the novel reached a crucial point. I loved what I’d written, but I also thought “What if I went in a different direction?” And so, I started from scratch with just a few key chapters to work with.

This current rewrite is the new direction. I don’t know if it’s better or worse, I just know that the storytelling is fair. It’s over 520 pages, and it continues to grow. I know I need to focus less on the page and word count, and focus more on the actual story, but as a writer of substance, I am trying to keep all of it in mind because I’ve already edited out about 200 pages, if not more. And here’s a simple fact; this story will eventually be whittled down to the bare minimum. That’s a given in the story-telling process. You want a clean manuscript, but you also want all of the key points in the final product.

So I sit here with a steaming cup of Earl Grey, with real sugar and cream, and I ponder my direction.

In many ways, this story is parallel to something I am currently going through. It’s a “Do I or don’t I?” story. Do I take this chance? Do I take this risk? What if? There are only three things lacking for me in my decision-making process, because after all, fiction is fiction and it gives you the opportunity to play. Believe me, I wish I had the problems these characters have. I have some of them, just not all of them.

I’ve decided to prepare this manuscript for a few contests coming up. I want to challenge myself and allow it to be read by people who can’t offend me. I’m my own worst critic; so the worst a stranger can say is nowhere near as harsh as I am with myself. It’s simple; you’ll either like it or you won’t. Hell, someone might even love it.

I didn’t really consider the ramifications of taking on a genre that is so well-established and timeless. I just wanted to write something out of my system so I’d stop having dreams about it every night. The dreams have stopped, but the story has not.

I will know when the story is done. I will. For now, I just have to keep writing. I’m either really angry or trying to get shit done when I break out the red mug. The grey mug is so much more soothing, but tonight, it’s red.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.


I’ve always wondered what motivates people to be judgmental about things and/or people they’ve never attempted to understand. Character trait, flaw, or simply their nature? I’m never certain, but it grates on my nerves.

The majority of my family looks down upon me with much disdain because I’m “a writer”. I’ve never understood, nor will I ever, why having an actual talent marks me as “not good enough”, especially considering 99% of them have never read my work or heard me speak in public. If you think reading my work is interesting, it’s an entirely different experience hearing me express myself in a public setting.

Here are some facts about how I arrived here, as “a writer”: After realizing I’d never be an Olympic gymnast because my parents refused to let me move to Colorado Springs and train on my own, I set out to be a police officer. I studied forensic science. My goal was to be an FBI agent at some point. I was then stricken with an illness that started taking small dreams away from me, until it took the larger ones with it, as well.

I’m a trained singer, but never pursued it professionally on any level. I love it, but it’s not my passion. It’s an interest, a talent, but it’s not my life.

My writing, though? It has always stood out, from day one. Anyone can put words on a page, but it takes talent to tell a story and convey emotion. I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t give something back to me.

I don’t judge the person who decides to become an accountant, even though I’d personally die a slow, painful death to use that word in conjunction with my own name, so why does “writer” sound a whole hell of a lot like “street beggar” when it comes out of the mouth of so many people? Why is it so incredibly disrespected?

I never set out to be a reporter or a journalist, but I did study journalism. I took a plethora of creative writing classes, for which I was eventually banned. I refused to adhere to what the professors determined “proper writing”. I wanted to write the truth and I wanted to write what I believed in. I did not want to write nonsensical bullshit I had no interest in or no opinion on. In their minds, I was disrupting the entire program by refusing to conform. It’s hysterical when I think about it now, but at the time, it was incredibly frustrating. There were so many mixed messages everywhere I turned. To this day, there still are.

Last year someone told me I should, and I quote, “Get a real job.” Having been nothing but a writer and editor for so long, no normal 9-5 job will hire me. When you can’t get a job at a grocery store part-time and not a single store in the mall will hire you due to a lack of previous retail experience, it’s downright insulting. When Walmart and fast food places take a pass on you, you almost question yourself. “What have I done? Did I do something wrong? Why aren’t I ENOUGH?!”

It took a few months of unadulterated shock, but I realize now that it simply isn’t my path. It never was, or it would have fallen into place. If that’s a disappointment to someone, then that’s their problem. That anyone would encourage me to be less than who I am is a testament to how they perceive me, as opposed to how I perceive myself.

I’m not perfect. I make an exerted effort to be who I was raised to be; strong, smart, independent, sassy, honest, loyal, and real. I’ve been through a LOT. The past ten years or so have greatly challenged me and greatly harmed me, and while that is no excuse, I do feel it takes some people a little longer to get back on their feet when they’ve walked through hell-fire barefoot. If you’re 100% healthy and able-bodied to do just about anything, that’s great. When you’re throwing up 70% of your week due to excruciating migraine pain, are barely able to complete simple tasks like cleaning and laundry without feeling weak and drained of your life force, and have to fight off taking a nap at 10:00 in the morning, then you might very well be capable of holding down what some people consider to be a “real job” or a “normal job”, whatever that may mean to most people. However, I respectfully disagree that writing is any less a “job” or any less “real”.

Does writing always pay my bills? No. Does editing always pay my bills? No. Do they help me make ends meet and provide me with a strong sense of self? Yes, if I’m careful with every penny. Will I continue to struggle? At times, all good writers have struggled. There are times I will make decent five figures in a year and other times when I’m barely able to eat.

I’m motivated to write because it’s part of who I am. I’m good at it. I try very hard not to judge what other people do to pay their bills, get an education, etc. And yet, I’m judged because being “a writer” is apparently something others deem unworthy of respect. It may not always be glamorous, but at least I have strong command of the English language and know precisely how to hold someone’s attention.

I’m not motivated to hurt others or disrespect their lines of work. I don’t care if you work at a gas station or an insurance company. I don’t care if you’re a lawyer, a nurse, or a locksmith. I do, however, care if being “a writer” is something you believe is beneath you.

It’s so much more important to be a good person, to be honest, real, and loyal to those you love. I believe your health is your true wealth. I believe all of these things are far more important than the number of zeros in your bank account. Life is short, and while money can make you comfortable, it can also make you complacent. If someone had handed me a black American Express card instead of notebooks, pens, and computers, I’d probably be a very selfish, shallow, ignorant, vapid human-being, with no real understanding of the world around me or the immense value of those I hold dear.

So, I have two words to say to those who simply do not understand what it’s like to have genuine talent and follow through on it, regardless of where the path takes them. Yeah, those are the words.

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Do You Remember?


Earlier this year, I accepted a new client who had never been edited before. From the start, there were problems. She couldn’t follow the payment plan, which was bi-weekly. I gave her multiple opportunities to “get it right” before she did, but I didn’t start working until she paid in full. Call me crazy, but I wasn’t about to lose money over a person who wasn’t serious and who thought everything was funny. “Oops, I’ll have to pay you in two weeks. I put the money on the wrong prepaid card. Sorry.” I’d get these messages for weeks before I said “You have to pay by this date or I’m not taking the job.”

Her “manuscript”, and I use the term so loosely, rope should be involved, was a fucking MESS. I don’t exaggerate about the written word, ever. Mess, disaster, and “manuscript from hell” are words I’d use, and did, to describe the torment of having to work for this demanding, rude, insensitive, know-it-all who’d never been edited and is going to tell me, after 20 years of experience, how long a “dirty manuscript” on a first edit should take. I know people who have taken five years to write a book they were proud of.  When it was edited a year after completion, so as to be thorough, at least they knew it wasn’t crap.

I’ve given her weekly updates, sometimes bi-weekly. I’ve done everything to be highly communicative, receiving responses like “Okie”, because apparently that’s how she spells “Okay”. Did you just empathize with me? Communicating with this person was like talking to a crash test dummy.

When I contacted her this morning to let her know that I’m moving and would complete her manuscript once I was settled in to my new place of residence, she claimed she’d given me two different deadlines that never existed. I know they didn’t exist because I never committed to a deadline, and she never specified one in the contract, or in conversation. It was 100% never discussed. I have a very sharp memory and yes, she bitched once, but I flat-out explained how much work was involved in her manuscript, and how time-consuming it was as it is not my full-time job.

Today she decided she’d prefer to part ways and “go a different road”. I returned the “dirty manuscript” with all of my notes and for the first time in 20 years, allowed myself to say “Good riddance.” I was the epitome of polite and respectful, but her demands during one of the worst years of my life and her deciding to “part ways” is a blessing. If I told you how much I got paid for this edit, you’d cry. Never again will I allow myself to be demeaned or disrespected by someone who thinks they’re the next Stephen King.

I had a moment where I felt like a failure. I have NEVER, not once, returned incomplete work to someone, but when a person is completely unwilling to work with you, to read their work before submitting it, etc., then I don’t feel it’s my responsibility, once they get vile, to do more than say “Here you go. Good luck.” Clearly she has NO idea how the industry works, what is and is not marketable, and that without a team behind me, yes, editing takes time. She said she wrote this manuscript in a few months and that “everyone who read it loved it”. It was barely a first draft, leave alone a fourth re-write. I can tell when someone is half-assing something. Even if they’re a New York Times Bestselling Author, I can tell when something isn’t properly thought out before submission.

So from here on in, I am only accepting proofreading, beta reads, and critiques. My writing focus now returns to my novels, which are quality. My creative focus will move to my career change because while I will always be a writer, I need more to keep me going. I need something daily that makes me feel like I have purpose.

A word of advice: Editors aren’t your punching bag and they don’t deserve to be shit on. If your editor is having a bad year, it’s okay to suggest moving on so that they can focus on their own life during a crisis, but it’s not okay to be a bitch to them. Treat people the way you’d want to be treated if the roles were reversed. Be respectful. Even more, if you’re barely paying them, you have no right to bitch about time unless you split everything up into chapters and allow them to work and submit chapters back to you as they complete them, because that’s when things can work in a much smoother fashion.

I highly recommend splitting your files up into chunks, perhaps a few chapters at a time, that way you’re communicating properly with the person who will be tending to your “baby”. Also, ask them to do a read-through before they edit, that way they can give you a fair price and an estimated time of delivery. Don’t freak out if the book that took you years to write takes nine months, or longer, to edit. I do a proofread, edit, fact-check, and then I double-check the work, so yes, it’s time-consuming.

The person you’re hiring is a flake only if you never see any results and never hear from them again, but a person who communicates with you regularly is being honest.

If my editor was having a bad year, I would never show them such disrespect. Shit happens, and it’s not the other person’s fault. If you want to hire a trained monkey who will kiss your ass, perhaps you should check out your local zoo.

I’ve never been so happy to delete someone’s work in my entire life. That probably sounds horrible, but at the end of the day, I shouldn’t want to remove my head off my shoulders because I was doing my job. No one should feel that way.

When someone tells me their story is SO good that it will be picked up traditionally and I’m editing it shaking my head “No, not in this lifetime.”, that means it will be 99 cents on Amazon Kindle. Granted, I’ve read some fantastic stuff for $5 or less on Kindle, but I’ve also been mortified by a lot of it.

Anyone who reads this sees my work regularly. They know I don’t eat bullshit politely with a knife and fork, and when you see my writing style, you can see that I edit it thoroughly. I’m human. I have the occasional typo, I’m quick-witted, educated, and willing to admit my faults.

Today, I say “C’est la vie.” Write what you want to write, but disrespecting an experienced, talented editor is unacceptable to me. One migraine less to think about. I’m moving on.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.



Praise Be Friday!

Happy Friday everyone!
What a rough week. I am so physically, mentally, and emotionally drained that I am finding it difficult to move. Basically, it’s like any other day, but there’s the emotional component to it as well. If it were possible to sleep for 24 hours and not get a migraine from too much sleep, I wouldn’t leave my bed at all tomorrow. Unfortunately, I get tired just taking my migraine medicine, Aleve, and the enormous PN vitamin that is supposed to “give me energy” throughout the day. I didn’t know “energy” equated to “really wants a three hour nap”. They should put that on their web-site, I’m betting it would put them out of business.
I have a lot to think about & do this weekend. I’ve got work which I am sorely behind on (a few focused hours will help me catch up though. Sadly, it won’t make the work any easier.), I have some things to relocate within the house, and I absolutely MUST remember to buy candles before Tuesday afternoon. In fact, I am putting a reminder note into my phone so I don’t forget because there’s no simply excuse. There’s only so much pathetic behavior I can tolerate from myself at the moment.
There are photos to take, research to do, but ultimately, I am glad it’s the weekend and that next week is split in the middle with a day and a half for a holiday. I’m not thrilled about the emotional component, but I have to be strong and do my best. And after next weekend, we begin the month-long countdown to the ultimate yearly celebration. 🙂 It’s hard to wrap my mind around, really. My expectations are in the dirt, so by all means, do what you will to shock and surprise me. I am also looking forward to Samhain. I’m not decorating or passing out candy, but I might roast a pumpkin for myself because I’ve been thinking about pumpkin seeds for months now and I think making my own would be a good idea. I can’t really screw that up too badly, but if I feel incapable, I will buy the seeds on their own. Or I’ll settle for sunflower seeds, we’ll see.
All right lovely readers, I am off for today. Or at the very least, out of things to say. Have a fabulous weekend and enjoy the weather! Be well & safe.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This Week Is Over


I’ve had yet another rough, stressful week. I am emotionally exhausted. I’m also in pain that no one should have to be in. In an ideal world, I’d be able to curl up this weekend and not have to face anything until next weekend. No, I’m not delusional, I’ve just had enough.

I am sitting here nursing green tea. I don’t feel well. I woke up with a myriad of health issues. I went to bed in pain, needing Aleve to fall asleep in a state of slightly less pain, but since I forgot to take the medicine that protects my stomach from NSAID use, I’m paying for it.

Upon inspection this morning, I found two chemical burns on the back of my neck. I’m not 100% certain of the cause, but I have my suspicions. One stings, the other is seemingly in the healing phase. I hope they’ll look better tomorrow because the last thing I want to do is be seen in public with what looks like brand marks. Note to self: Must find Aquaphor. How do you cover the back of your neck in August when your hair isn’t as long as it used to be and you normally wear it up? #GirlProblems

Due to the crazy influx of migraines over the last few weeks, I began taking Topamax this morning. I’ve been off of it for three years, so I am hoping it will help prevent some of what I am experiencing. If not, I will have at least made an effort and will know that another treatment method must be found. It is better to try than to dismiss something that has worked so well for me in the past. Today is the start of a month on 25 mgs. Here’s hoping it does more than make carbonated drinks taste funny.

Was anyone able to see the meteor shower? I looked for about 30 minutes last night and all I saw were a few constellations. I couldn’t keep looking, so I went to bed. I’m betting all the fun started the second my head hit the pillow. I’ve only seen a few photos from earlier in the week.

I hope I will be able to concentrate on the shit I need to do over the next few days. I want to get as much work done as humanly possible. I haven’t been able to focus on a large page count with any regularity, but I am certainly trying. All one can do is their best. If that’s not good enough for someone, tough shit.

Summer is nearly over, and soon it will be Fall in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s my favorite time of year. The nights are already getting a bit cooler, but there’s something about the crispness of October air that rejuvenates my spirit.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.