I heard back from Facebook this afternoon.

I apologize to anyone that followed the Poison In Lethal Doses page or that had me as a friend via the site (you still have me as a friend, and you should know how to find me via phone if we’re really close, or e-mail.).

I want everyone here to know that even after confirming my identity, they have made this claim:

- Your account must list your authentic name and birthday. (It IS authentic, as in FUCKING REAL. I think I know when I was born, it's on all my legal documents! Are we going to crack down on all the hate mongers and question their authenticity? How many people have bullied children into SUICIDE? You're seriously worried about ME being REAL? I am astounded. Is Facebook run by modern-day Nazi's?)
- Personal accounts must represent individual people only. It's a violation of 
Facebook policy to use a profile to represent anything other than yourself (ex: 
celebrities, pets, ideas, objects). (Who the FUCK was I "representing" other than myself?! If you can't tell me the truth about what I supposedly did, you're lying. I don't interact enough on there to have violated anything.)
- Using your account to repeatedly contact strangers for business or dating 
purposes is not allowed. (Yeah, because on top of everything else in my life, I am a hooker and JUST on Facebook. Seriously?!)

Further proof of Facebook's cancerous tumor resides with a writer's group I joined. I was not the only writer/editor in the group and pretty much every editor was looking for work. One in particular said "Will work to pay my rent." I know the problem resides here because as soon as I created a new account to apologize to anyone that might need to know my whereabouts, with the intention of deleting the piece of shit later on today, and joined the group, I was locked out of the new account almost immediately. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to be able to put two and two together.  

If you are a member of this group, be forewarned. I was one of the first 100 members and it has now grown to nearly 3000 people. Someone in that circle has issues, and everyone ought to be very cautious.

Thank you to Facebook for proving what I have always said about it. I apologize to the few people I actually supported wholeheartedly via the site. I will continue to follow you as I am able.

As for Facebook, GO FUCK YOURSELF. And please be advised that I will let anyone and everyone know what a bunch of !@#$suckers you truly are. 

Perhaps I will start a Poison In Lethal Doses Pinterest page instead. As far as I know, they seem to appreciate my honesty and whimsy.  

Love to you all, HONESTLY. 

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Thoughts Through Other Eyes

I am tired in a soul-deep, bone-deep way that I can’t quite explain. I know it is borne out of doing too much, too fast, without proper rest. Sometimes I forget that I have limitations due to Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain and I simply want my normal life back. In turn, I suffer for every move I make in ignoring said limitations. Simply put, it BLOWS.

I hurt from the very top of my spine, which, by the way, is where my tattoos begin (Yes, right underneath my hair down a portion of my spine. Believe me when I say, they did not hurt. The entire experience was very positive. It felt more like being scraped repeatedly as opposed to actual pain, and who better to know the difference than someone who experiences pain 24/7? I sat for close to two hours. I have heavily inked male friends who told me their own ink in the exact same spot hurt like hell and had to be done in 2-3 sessions. They have less on their spine than I do.), all the way to the center of both feet. I’ve done a LOT this week. Now, all I want to do is get this mind-numbing headache and unbelievable stomach pain to stop so I can SLEEP. I’d also like someone to feed and water my girls, so I don’t have to get out of bed unless I really want/need to. What are the chances of the latter happening? Slim to none, and unfortunately Slim is very easily distracted.

I survived Thanksgiving, and did every single thing I set out to do in terms of cooking and baking. YAY! Of course now, I am happy to sit in front of my laptop or the TV for the next week, only moving when absolutely necessary.

An interesting job presented itself recently. I would get to use my little-used Russian in editing a pretty large manuscript. It sounds great, and yet, I need a few days to sleep on it. Yes, someone else could get the job instead, and that can happen no matter what, but it made me take a good look at my list of spoken and learned languages. I’m actually a lot smarter than I let on, but I’ve always had to be.

When you’re a writer, people judge you based on the work you present to them. I think this is true more so now than ever before, but at times, it doesn’t seem to matter at all if you’re presenting absolute crap, which is insulting to me.

You can walk into a business meeting looking like Stephen King, so long as the material is brilliant, no one will care. They might whisper about you amongst themselves later on, but they’re truly looking at the manuscript above all else. As a woman, it’s different. You have to be presentable enough that when you’re photographed for the inside and/or back cover, you don’t completely disgrace your entire gender. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me how pretty a writer is when all I could think was “But is her work any good?” Not in a catty or bitchy way, but in a genuine “Unless we’re talking about Angelina Jolie, I don’t care what she looks like” way. I want what I read to be of a specific level of quality. I want it to capture and intrigue me. I don’t care what the author looks like. However, I have noticed that a great many people do.


The flip side of this particular coin is that more and more authors now attend San Diego Comic Con and New York Comic Con, along with similar types of events all over the world. There is a lot more social media interaction with readers and as much face-to-face interaction as you (and your publisher) see fit. Being comfortable in your intelligence and knowledge isn’t always easy when you’re, technically, competing for the attention of those very same readers because Jennifer Lawrence or Eva Green are also in the building promoting a highly anticipated film. Truth be told, I’d rather sit and listen to Eva Green too, but that’s just me. I’m slightly fascinated by her and have been for a good 8 years or so.

I don’t know a lot of writers that are absolute extroverts. I know a lot of very shy, quiet, introverted writers who can be extroverts for short periods of time, in the right company. While not exactly shy, I am definitely on the quieter side most of the time. If you happen to be discussing something interesting or something I am knowledgeable about, I MIGHT chime in, I might not. However, of late, I’ve noticed I’m getting some odd attention in public settings.

For the most part, but really only face-to-face, women talk to me purely about superficial things. Hair, skin, the nail polish I have on, my tattoos (Because I completely forget that they’re there and that they’re visible. I apply sunscreen to them, that’s the extent of my awareness most days,), make-up, perfume, etc. Men, on the other hand, ask different questions and approach you differently. I try very hard to be focused in my day-to-day life, but there are many days where I truly don’t want to have any type of debate while on line at the bank or discuss the price of gas, oil, milk, eggs, etc. I do not have “Has all the answers” on a t-shirt or my forehead, and yet, this happens to me constantly.

I like for my work to speak for itself, but I absolutely make an effort at putting my best face forward. I’d prefer for someone to judge me based on my work and who I am as a person, but I know that’s not how life works. Women are harshly critiqued on their appearance. It’s not something I’ve ever liked and I like it even less now. However, I realize we are all guilty of it to some extent.

By all means, be disappointed in something that doesn’t screw with someone’s self-worth and self-confidence, but don’t attack others for what is, in all honesty, a quirk of nature. If you’ve ever said something to someone that sent them running to a plastic surgeon to “fix the problem”, maybe you should take a closer look at yourself because raining your issues onto others is one of the most unattractive things one can do.

Just not lest ye be judged. Be true to yourself and don’t worry about anything or anyone else.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.


Welcome & Thank You


Readership has really grown a lot in the past month, so I wanted to say hello to all of the new people that have kindly followed, liked, and commented. It is a joy to read messages from like-minded souls. I see everything, and I appreciate all of you for stopping in. I especially have to thank my friends who followed me from the old blog (which I still do), to my main focus, which is this platform. It’s nice to get feedback based solely on true merit.

While I try to post daily, sometimes my brain is a bit shattered, so I try to share nice things with you that I’ve come across, or that inspire me in some way. Sometimes I will address specific issues or causes, and you don’t have to take them to heart, you can breeze through or past them, but I do hope they’ll be of some value.

I am currently editing a new novel, which is an interesting, fun challenge. When you grow up with specific mysteries and stories, be it in book form, film, or even on television, it is always nice to see them brought back to life by someone new. It’s nice for me to step outside of my own work world, which is drastically different, and immerse myself in a world of someone else’s creation. I was pleased to discover the client is already published and successful, so that was a nice surprise, and I’m so happy to be working. It does mean I will work straight through the holidays, but quite frankly, I appreciate the distraction. It’s been a rough year. I will be happy to take the good from it, leave the negative behind, and move into a new year with a lot of newly absorbed knowledge about myself and those around me. It’s important to look ahead, because looking behind you only causes chronic neck pain.

Beyond all of that, I can say that Fall is winding down. The trees on my property are blowing leaves all over the place. The two larger trees were bright, lush green and are now dappled with yellow and peach. The Japanese Maple will slowly transition from stunning plum leaves to a bright red, but as of right now, they’re still holding strong. It’s my favorite of the three trees and it’s also the one that was still pretty young when I got here. The air is now turning bitterly cold, which makes my Fibromyalgia flare-up in unpleasant ways. Every muscle in my body hurts and every joint feels like I’m Tin Man from the Wizard Of Oz and need to be “oiled”. I can feel the cold deep within my bones, especially anywhere I have an injury. Gymnastics isn’t always kind to you years later, but the same can be said for all sports.

It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I haven’t even sat down to make a tentative menu because I don’t know how many people I will be cooking for, but I’m also not that interested. I think the sentiment behind the day is awesome, it always has been, but it is greatly ruined by the pre-Black Friday crap that is already being advertised. I’m much more concerned with making a nice meal and having a day of movies or books to keep me happy. That’s my usual tradition. Perhaps I will re-read a series of books throughout the holiday season, in my spare time.

Are there are books you like to re-read during this time of year? If so, leave a comment and tell me what you re-read and why.


copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Addressing An Issue

I wrote something yesterday that upset someone. It might have upset more than one person, no one else said anything, but in all fairness, I did write and post it late. In reality, I know who cares about me and who doesn’t. As we’ve established, I am not an attention seeker. If I was, the drama here would be high. I really don’t have the time or the patience to be like that.

I am well aware that I am very internal, and that that can come off as me being “cryptic”. I don’t read much into that, because I say exactly what I think and what I feel. I have lost the ability of being concerned whether or not it affects someone else because my feelings are entirely my own. Most importantly, I’ve only ever seen the selfish side of the coin.

In the past, I have written about depression and suicide from a very honest stand-point, and people responded to it with e-mails that started off like this: “How could you possibly think of leaving me? What would I do without you?” It only ended up angering me. There was no “I’m here for you, what can I do?” or “I am here to listen, no matter what.”, just “How could you think of leaving me?” Those words are selfish. Being honest about your emotions is not.

It bothers people how direct I am, that there’s very little I won’t say. I find that it is important to get it out of my system, to be honest with how I feel, to be honest with myself, and if my honesty helps someone, good. I don’t sugar-coat or gloss things over. If I say I’m “fine”, I’m probably not, but you have to know me really well to hear it in my voice and know. 95% of people will hear me say I’m fine and keep talking, they are so wrapped up in themselves that my well-being is of no concern to them whatsoever. I often say I could be bleeding out of my eyeballs and no one would notice. The other day someone actually told me “I’d put a towel under you and leave you there.”, and they LAUGHED. The cruelty of such a statement isn’t fucking amusing, not by a long shot.

The last thing I ever want someone to say is “I’m sorry you feel that way.” It’s not a kind thing to say, it always comes off so dismissive, and that makes me want to rip your face off. Yeah, I’m graphically visual when I’m angry, but there’s no law against it…yet.

It comes down to this: If you accept me, please accept me as I am. If you don’t, exit stage left. Being a part of my life, however large or small, comes with its benefits and rewards, but I’m not going to fake happiness for anyone or fake my emotions. That is far more exhausting to me than the truth.


copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


Does Creativity Pay?

It’s Official, I Lack The Ability Of Dumbing Myself Down

A few weeks ago I officially signed up with an on-line Freelancing service that allows you to submit proposals for a laundry list of writing jobs, as well as other creative endeavors. Every single job that I am 1000% perfect for has either been A) Canceled because the entire project was scrapped or B) Given to someone else. I guarantee you that anyone who got a job over me dumbed themselves down in order to get it.

I’m not saying that a person that got a writing job over me is stupid. I don’t know them. However, I know that the low bid is always the one that gets the job. People can say a lot of things about me, but I’m NOT stupid.

I’m not going to apologize for placing my actual worth and value into a proposal. I have 27 years of writing experience, 19 years of editing experience, an incredibly vast array of knowledge, and if I wanted to be paid by the hour, I’d look into becoming a hooker (I’m kidding, I’m too tired to seriously consider that.).

Truth be told, if Fibromyalgia wasn’t killing me each day, I might contemplate a “normal” job at someplace like Sephora where my knowledge of fragrance, skin care, make-up, and all things beauty would be appreciated, albeit at an hourly rate. The only reason I’ve never done it is because I know I can’t get out of bed nine days out of ten and show up at a job like that. No company wants an employee that can only show up once or twice a week, that’s simply not going to fly.

Being a writer is one of those professions where people either assume you’re loaded because “J.K. Rowling made millions.”, or they assume that with magazines folding constantly and eBook sales up (Want to know how much you can be paid to write an eBook for someone else? Between $10-$125, and in many instances, your name will not be the one credited for writing it. I find it insulting beyond words. If you want me to write a book of 50 recipes and you want it in a week, you cannot come to the table with scraps. A high school student or a freshman in college might take a job like that, but an experienced writer is going to laugh at you.), you’re either okay or a step away from being on the street. People accept “Writer” as an occupation without questioning it too much, unless they don’t know a lot about what it takes to be a writer and make a name for yourself.

Since my sign-up date, I have done nothing, but write job proposals. Placing a price on your hourly rate, or your rate per 100 words, or your per job rate is tough. Like any other creative being, I want to pay my bills, put food on the table, provide for my health, and be able to breathe. If I have a rough week, I want to know that I don’t have to write my ass off this week in order to make ends meet.

So, after writing all of these proposals, I finally got a response. It seemed promising, until a little while ago when my original quote of $300 is now being asked to go down to $30-$45 a month. I understand it’s a newish business, I respect that, but here is what I am being asked to do: Monthly blog posts, creative marketing, and some creative PR packages to get jewelry into fashion magazines. That entails a lot of work, and truth be told, $300 is not my normal rate. The more we go back and forth, the more she seems to want out of me, and I have to wonder if I am simply up against the eight other people that also bid on the job, or if she really thinks that is what my time is truly worth. Regardless, she has received a sample of my work and can decide for herself. If you want quality work, don’t insult me.

After handling that, I was then sent 15 pages of a novel for another job. I have to say, I was annoyed when I got to the end because even with all the mistakes and changes that would have to be made, there was an awful lot of potential in there and I wanted to keep reading (and correct everything, because it’s force of habit!). I bid on the job. I gave a very decent price for editing a first novel, well within the person’s budget, and I will see how it goes. However, I am sick and tired of the bullshit involved.

If you want something done professionally, don’t insult the professional you’re trying to hire for the job. If you want someone experienced and intelligent, don’t expect them to waste their time if you aren’t willing to properly compensate them. Never have I tried hiring someone for something on a creative level, and then insulted their intelligence and effort by countering their quote. It’s hard enough for me to put a price on myself, but when you insult me, it makes me want to respond by letting you know how unprofessional you are.

You want something done right? Come to play, or get the fuck out of my way.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED