Today is also my Uncle’s 68th birthday. He’s been gone nine years and I nearly broke down this morning when I looked at old photos saved on my laptop and phone. I miss you so much, Zio. Thank you for all the good lessons you taught me and the girls. Thank you for supporting my knowledge, my education, and my fierce spirit. I might not have been your daughter, but I always felt like I was, and I was always treated as though I was. So many special moments and memories, which I’ll treasure for the rest of my life. Ti Amo.
Thanks to everyone who sent me such kind, thoughtful, sweet birthday wishes. I really appreciated it. 🙂
Hey, everyone. 🙂 It’s been a rough time for me. Unfortunately my “rough time” is on a never-ending loop. No one is more tired of it than I am.
During all of this chaos and pain, I haven’t had “Writers Block”, but I have certainly had “Writer needs a break.” and “Writer needs a fucking vacation.” Unfortunately, the devil is in the details and any kind of break isn’t in the cards.
For me, one of the most crucial things about being a writer is choosing your subject matter. Do I want to write about people dying? Not so much. Do I want to write about Kate Middleton giving birth? No. Do I care about every single thing going on in the world? No, I don’t. That doesn’t make me a bad person, it simply means my priorities are different. My brain has an insanely fast processing system for certain types of information (I’m not kidding. Even when I’m asleep, I feel like I haven’t ever been “powered down”.), and sometimes I want silence. Okay, more often than not, I genuinely want silence. Inner peace is more difficult to achieve than one realizes.
I had a horrible experience last week that I do want to talk about, but in fairness to myself, I am still processing everything so that when I do speak up and speak out, people will understand why I am doing it. It’s important to call certain things into question and raise awareness. When it comes to mental health, any form of chronic pain, and migraines, I am NOT going to be silent about my experiences. These are small medical communities full of daily sufferers who aren’t being taken seriously. They are being cast out and demoralized by the very people they turn to for help. It’s disgusting. I refuse to be someone who doesn’t use the power of her position and voice to help others to the best of my ability.
Initially I was quite embarrassed over the incident. I do plan on talking about it, probably in my next major post. In the midst of having to feel ashamed and embarrassed, I thought “What if this happened to someone who wasn’t as smart or as strong as I am? What if this happened to someone who couldn’t advocate for themselves and go home at the end of this?” It’s been slightly over a week, and my mind is still in shock that I went through it and came out the other side. I know my behavior was in check, and I know I didn’t lose my temper until things escalated, so I shouldn’t be embarrassed at all. It’s important to explain and share it. I would hate for any of you to have gone through this. I had a few minutes where I was angry and afraid, and then this deeper part of me responded. Sometimes I forget that I’m a knock down, drag-you-by-your-hair, lay you out on the ground, make you cry for your mother, FIGHTER. Sometimes I need to be reminded of that. Of course, I’d like to be reminded without the outrageous drama. This will all make sense soon, I promise.
To those of you who have reached out to me over these last few weeks via social media, or by phone or text, please know how much your thoughts, kindness, compassion, and words mean to me. When friends and readers come to you with support, those are some of the best moments in life. Cherish them.
I think part of why I felt overwhelmed by the support I received is because I don’t ever assume my words or thoughts are making a difference for someone else. To then hear how my experiences, struggles, humor, and grace under pressure have helped someone get through their own battles, well, it puts a lot into perspective for me.
For the most part, I write something and I click publish. I might look at it once or twice after the fact, but I don’t usually go back. I put it out into the universe to be read, and I go on with my life. There’s only so much self-promotion I am willing to do. I don’t respect anyone who shoves their work down your throat, so I refuse to be anything like that.
More and more, people are coming back to me, sometimes months later, to thank me for speaking up, for sharing my very real thoughts, and for inspiring them. I am only egotistical to a small degree in that I am proud of the things I put my name on, and I’m the first person who has to laugh at my jokes and weirdness. When someone calls me and they’re genuinely hurting and upset, but by the end of the call they are laughing hysterically, I realize I have a gift that helps people. Perhaps G-d really does work in mysterious ways. 😉 I am a firm believer that people are drawn to you for specific reasons. Anyone drawn to me is either looking for strength, loyalty, a genuine ear, a genuine friend, or all of the above. Because in the beginning, we are all just words. You have no idea how that will transition into real life, but anyone who has ever met me and become a bigger part of my life will tell you I am consistently the same person. I can be hysterically funny and make you feel better, I can completely have your back, I will take your secrets to the grave, and/or I can be detached. I don’t think a single one of my true friends has ever witnessed the detached side of me. I am well aware that I’m rare. I have had to accept my rarity throughout the course of my life, but I feel like the right people come into your life and they stay. Anyone with an agenda, who doesn’t get what they want, is going to leave. It’s difficult to know what someone wants when they’re “new”. I suspect anyone who first meets me is meeting the cool, detached person who isn’t about to kiss anyone’s ass or try too hard for anything. I’m not looking to impress anyone. I am not starving for attention or friendship. I would rather have one genuine friend than one hundred “friends” coming into my life with an agenda. I can spot bullshit immediately.
In the midst of the ordeal I am still processing, I was asked “What do you think your purpose in life is?” I think we can all safely agree that is an exceedingly DEEP question to ask anyone. Like anyone else, I am still discovering my path, navigating my talents, and taking things one minute at a time. I will almost certainly spend more time wondering about purpose, and seeking it out. For many people this is defined by their roles in life. Mine is not. It’s a little bit like when someone says “You’re obviously a great Mom because you have cats.” The look on my face when people say this to me is always one of “Where the hell did that come from?” One thing has nothing to do with the other, and the analogy is kind of disturbing to me. It’s highly possible for a woman to be great at something and not have it likened to anything other than “You are great at this.” As human-beings, we wear many hats, but those hats should not be all that defines us.
I often find myself in situations where I feel appointed as the chief “slayer of demons”. While some people might say I don’t have to take on that responsibility, I will take on that which is of deep importance to me. If something could become a much bigger incident, I am more likely to see the bigger picture and get on board quickly, as opposed to backing down.
As a Scorpio, my sign is ruled by Mars and Pluto. Only one other sign in the zodiac has the same ruling planets. I’ve always found it interesting that Mars, which falls in line with the Roman God of War, would be attached to me. The way other people describe me is much the way astrologers and astronomers describe Mars. Combined with the constant regeneration of Pluto, it makes an awful lot of sense to me. Whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, I always notice how much these things tend to influence us. For many, it is without any knowledge whatsoever. I much prefer to be knowledgeable.
This incident is an enormous demon, and will probably not be the last one I have to slay in my lifetime. Not for a single second did I hesitate about retaliating. So while I navigate all the legalities and take a stand, I hope others will understand that I’m not only doing it for myself, I am doing it for everyone and anyone who is too afraid to speak up, or for those who fear backlash and/or repercussions.
I’ve been reminded of who I am. It’s taking a little time to mentally process all I’ve experienced and the knowledge that followed. I am determined to keep my head fully in this battle, and I know I will get there.
Wishing you all an empowering weekend and a fierce Full Moon ahead. 🙂
copyright © 2018 Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Tonight will be the Full Flower Moon, named because of all the flowers blossoming and blooming at this time. May’s Full Moon is also known as the Bright Moon because it is very bright, and the Corn Planting Moon because this is the time when farmers would normally plant corn for it to be ready for the harvest.
Like nature at this time; we are blossoming, we are growing day-by-day with the strength of the Sun. Much like solar panels, we are soaking up the Suns’ energy. The Full Moon is in Scorpio and it shines its light in the darkest places, encouraging us to peer in and see what’s there. Things that were once hidden will show themselves to us, we will be able to see ourselves and others in a whole new light and look at our lives more clearly.
Like a snake shedding its skin as a form of renewal, the Full Moon in Scorpio calls to each of us to shed the layers that are ready, bringing a rebirth, allowing a new skin to emerge. Welcome change, allow your light to penetrate the dark areas of fear, shame, and deep-seated resentment that lies hidden underneath. Give yourself permission to heal and move forward in your life. Use the potential of the Full Moon to symbolically die, in order to be reborn.
On this Full Moon, emotions will be raw. We may find we are feeling a flow of different emotions and a feeling of being pulled in many different directions. Let the waters of Scorpio cleanse your emotional pain and heal you of negative feelings.
The Scorpio Full Moon will bring lessons in self-transformation pulling you toward a more effective destiny, such as moving on to bigger and better things. Continue to maintain balance as you clean up the residue of what is already fractured in your life to allow new and positive beginnings to start. We are now in a new era, and are on the threshold of things beginning to develop a lot more quickly than they have in recent months. While things may still feel somewhat slow, they are about to quicken in a big way.
These are magnificent times. Change and life shifts are to be welcomed. Let the energy of this Full Moon help you see where you are emotionally stuck and resistant and surrender to the universal gifts that is coming your way. Let the waters of Scorpio wash over you and heal and cleanse your spirit.
Have a Blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.
Written & photo credit: Wicca Teachings
Edited by Lisa Marino
Tonight is the Full Pink Moon. The Moon won’t actually be the color pink. The name comes from the pink herb moss or wild ground phlox which are bright pink in color. They are the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names for this month’s Moon are Seed, Wind, Sprouting Grass, Egg, and Fish Moon.
This Full Moon is in the sign of Scorpio. You can’t hide anything from a Scorpio, they are natural detectives. This is the time when everything will be brought to light, secrets and lies will be found out. We will see things as they really are.
In April, the thunderstorms of March are beginning to subside, and the wind picks up. Seeds are being blown about on the breezes, spreading life all around from one place to the next. This is a brilliant time to start new projects or ideas we may have, as our minds will be filled with creativity. This is also the perfect time to conceive, as fertility is abundant at this time.
The pull of the past can be strong on this Full Moon. People we haven’t seen for a while may contact us. We may find our best intentions going up in smoke as we embrace old habits and fall back into old destructive patterns. Try and be strong and not take the easy option, instead take the road which will give you the best results. Stay away from bad habits or patterns that keep leading you down a certain path of unhappiness.
Emotions are running high on the Scorpio Pink Moon, our smallest emotions can be magnified and intensified making us feel a little overwhelmed at times. This is the time to put your gratitude forth for all the many blessings in your life and to clearly speak aloud your desires. Let what you want to be heard by the universe as we step across this edge to the other side, where miracles and magic can happen, dreams can come true. Allow yourself to ask for more.
We are in a powerful time where we are asked to look at what is no longer working in our lives, where is the old skin stuck and inhibiting our further growth? Where are we surrounded by things, people, situations, attitudes that are actually toxic and need to be burned in the fire, so we can rebirth ourselves like the phoenix does?
Use the light of this Full Moon to cast away negativity and the negative aspects of our lives and let positive and good pour in. Open yourself up and allow your vessel to be filled with the blessings that the universe is sending out now. Let the waters of Scorpio wash over your spirit to cleanse and heal you.
Have a blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.
Full written credit goes to Wicca Teachings
Photo credit: Various
Edited by Lisa Marino
Tonight is the New Moon in Scorpio. It is time to shed our old skin. Release what is dying. Let go of what is not working for you. Scorpio is about death and rebirth; transformation. This is a cycle of completions and new beginnings.
Scorpio’s New Moon is all about change ultimately, the changes and losses place you squarely on a new path that you are supposed to be traveling. Your eyes will open to the beauty of all that is you. This is a wake-up call. It is about sweeping your life clean of negative clutter. Belief systems can crumble, routines and relationships may breakdown. Structures that you have built are challenged. Things that you may have thought were reliable and dependable end. For a while you may feel adrift, in transition. Then new doors open and new chapters begin. You are ushered into a new phase of life.
Create the space for positive energy to enter your life. What is not working this New Moon will breakdown. You will breakthrough into a new and better life. Become who you truly are, rather than who you think you are supposed to be. This is the true meaning of transformation. As we embrace our own darkness, we become whole. We acknowledge the truth of who we are, which will help us see the truth of others.
Scorpio is all about seeing the truth. If we can be truthful with ourselves about really seeing and releasing our emotions, we have great opportunity to complete some aspect of our lives and begin a new phase. Relationships with others and with ourselves have great potential for expansion and change.
Scorpio’s strength is that it isn’t afraid of the dark, and so when the Moon is in Scorpio, it is a perfect time to look at our shadows and see what we’ve been in fear of, suppressing and repressing, and then deal with it. When we face our inner demons they aren’t as scary as they once were.
Let us use these insights to fuel our understanding, to allow us to have a bigger, clearer picture of what is occurring in our lives, so that we can easily navigate the changing tides. Scorpio holds the power of the water element, this will have our emotions on high alert. Let your raw emotions come to the surface, this will allow you to heal both mentally and physically.
Things are shifting. What will bring us balance? What will bring us closer to our joy/truth? Let’s move in that direction as we get in touch with our truth and allow others the same freedom.
The New Moon in Scorpio is sure to leave its extreme emotional imprint of new beginnings upon us. It almost dares each of us to go into the unknown and expose new parts of the self which are waiting in the wings, desiring expression. Get to know yourself again and figure out what you really want.
Have a Blessed New Moon and may the Goddess watch over you.
Written & photo credit goes to Wicca Teachings.
Developmental editing by Lisa Marino.
People often ask me why my name on WordPress is “ScorpionGlow”. Well, I’ll tell you.
For one, I am a Scorpio. In fact, today is my birthday.
Two, scorpions glow. Of the 1750 known species, almost all of them will show up under a black UV light, thus, giving off the impression that they glow in the dark. If you know an actual Scorpio, I’m pretty sure there is something about them that shines brighter than that of non-Scorpios. That’s not arrogance talking, it’s fact. Put me in a room with 50 people, I will always choose to be around other Scorpios. I can pin-point them down to the last detail, because I know my sign so well.
Scorpions have existed for 430 million years, which explains why Scorpios are such intense survivors. Only 25 of the known species are venomous. Spend an hour with me, I will probably zing or sting, all depending on how you behave towards me.
Scorpios are intensely loyal. We are “ride or die” types of people in our relationships and friendships, but don’t EVER get yourself on the opposite side of that, because it is a very dangerous place to be. People often mistake our personalities for something they really aren’t. People almost always assume I am sweet and nice. I’m not. I might do nice things, but I’m pretty sure only the mosquitos believe I’m “sweet”.
Many non-Scorpios like to tell the story of the Scorpion & the Frog. I’ve heard many different variations of it over the years to the point that it annoys me. No, I won’t sting you “because it’s in my nature”, but if you push my buttons, be prepared for the outcome because I do not back down and I will tell you precisely how things are. I might not kill you, but you’ll certainly wish for it sooner or later. A very common saying in astrology is “Hell hath no fury like a Scorpio scorned.” Slightly apropos. Push me to the point of no return, and the stinger comes out. I am well aware of my own venom, and how I come off as a person.
Scorpio is the sign of rebirth and transformation. We are one of only a few astrological signs with two ruling planets, Mars & Pluto. We share Mars with Aries. The three animals representative of the sign are scorpions, eagles, and the mythological Phoenix. Some people also associate the wolf. I do not. It is believed that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was cut in two, the head becoming the symbol for Virgo, with the tail becoming the symbol for Scorpio. Both signs, interestingly enough, are a part of my personal birth chart. If you’ve never had one done professionally, and you’re interested, ask me about it. I do them.
Each form of astrology, from Celtic to Native American, links Scorpio to different things, but most of the traits remain the same. It is presumed that we are all jealous, vengeful, aggressive beings. I learned a long time ago that in order to conquer the negative aspects of my sign, I needed to learn to keep my jealousy in check. Ever since then, I have evolved into one of the most un-jealous people you’ll ever meet. It helps keep me grounded. I’m not saying I don’t occasionally have a flare-up, I do, but it fizzles out so quickly that it can make your significant other think he/she isn’t loved enough. That’s actually not the case. There is a difference between fierce passion and jealousy. There is a difference between persistence and aggressiveness.
I often feel sorry for those who are so incredibly intimidated by those who are born under this sign. People often assume I am one way, only to get to know me and discover I’m the exact opposite. It’s interesting to see people be so surprised. Intimidating is often a word used to describe me. I am well aware of it when I’m doing it on purpose, but mostly it’s just me carrying myself with confidence. Regardless of your sun sign, all women should be able to go out in this world and hold their head up high, look people in the eyes, and not give a rat’s ass what someone thinks of them. Some men may have confidence problems, but they don’t have to worry as much about what others think of them because, by proxy, men are judged less than women are. It’s a very sad truth.
When it comes to astrology, everyone is different. However, as a Scorpio, I am in some pretty talented, fierce company. I am certain I will miss someone here and there, but that is not intentional.
October 23rd: Johnny Carson, Meghan McCain, Ryan Reynolds, Weird Al Yankovic, Amandla Stenberg, Cat Deeley
October 24th: Monica, Drake, Adrienne Bailon, Tila Tequila, Kevin Kline, B.D. Wong, Katie McGrath, Shanae Grimes
October 25th: Antony Starr, Marion Ross, Minnie Pearl, Persia White, Mariana Klaveno, Katy Perry, Ciara, Mehcad Brooks, Pablo Picasso, Conchita Campbell
October 26th: Mahalia Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Keith Urban, Dylan McDermott, Rita Wilson, Carey Elwes, Steve Valentine, Bob Hoskins, Natalie Merchant, Jon Heder
October 27th: Theodore Roosevelt, Emily Post, Kelly Osbourne, Sylvia Plath, John Gotti
October 28th: Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Joaquin Phoenix, Troian Bellisario, Bruce Jenner
October 29th: Jonas Salk, Bob Ross, Winona Ryder, Ben Foster, Randy Jackson, Gabrielle Union
October 30th: Ivanka Trump, Janel Parish, John Adams, Ezra Pound, Nastia Liukin, Harry Hamlin, Henry Winkler, Kevin Pollak, Matthew Morrison
October 31st: Piper Perabo, Jane Pauley, Dermot Mulroney, Dale Evans, Deidre Hall, Rob Schneider, John Candy
There is wide speculation that Christopher Columbus was either born on October 30th or October 31st.
November 1st: David Foster, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Jenny McCarthy, Penn Badgley, Lyle Lovett, Toni Collette
November 2nd: Marie Antoinette, Marisol Nichols, K.D. Lang, Nelly, David Schwimmer
November 3rd: Kate Capshaw, Dennis Miller, Elizabeth Smart, Colin Kaepernick, Kendall Jenner
November 4th: Former First Lady Laura Bush, Kathy Griffin, Bethenny Frankel, Doris Roberts, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Macchio
November 5th: Vivian Leigh, Art Garfunkel, Roy Rogers, Tilda Swinton, Kevin Jonas, Bryan Adams, Tatum O’Neal, Kris Jenner
November 6th: John Philip Sousa, Pat Tillman, Emma Stone, Maria Shriver, Rebecca Romijn, Ethan Hawke, Sally Field, Lamar Odom
November 7th: Marie Curie, Joni Mitchell, Billy Graham, Christopher Knight, David Guetta, Tinie Tempah, Adam DeVine
November 8th: Bram Stoker, Gordon Ramsey, Kamar de los Reyes, Jack Osbourne, Mary Hart, Bonnie Raitt, Parker Posey, Jessica Lowndes
November 9th: Carl Sagan, Hedy Lamarr, Jean Monnet, Nick Lachey, Vanessa Lachey, Eric Dane, Chris Jericho, French Montana
November 10th: Miranda Lambert, Walton Goggins, Martin Luther, Tracy Morgan, Ellen Pompeo, Brittany Murphy, Mackenzie Phillips, Sam Waterston
November 11th: Kurt Vonnegut, Victor Cruz, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Demi Moore, Stanley Tucci
November 12th: Richelle Mead, Grace Kelly, Neil Young, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway
November 13th: Whoopi Goldberg, Gerard Butler, Garry Marshall, Jordan Bridges, Chris Noth, Jimmy Kimmel
November 14th: Claude Monet, Prince Charles, Condoleeza Rice, Rev Run, Graham Patrick Martin, Veronica Lake, Josh Duhamel, Travis Barker, Laura San Giacomo
November 15th: Randy Savage, Georgia O’Keeffe, Jonny Lee Miller, Shailene Woodley, Jimmy Choo, Roberto Cavalli, Beverly D’Angelo, Ray McKinnon, Chad Kroeger
November 16th: Brandi Glanville, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Oksana Baiul, Missi Pyle, Miguel Sandoval, Amare Stoudemire
November 17th: Jeff Buckley, David Ramsey, Martin Scorsese, RuPaul, Isaac Hanson, Rachel McAdams, Danny DeVitto, Ryan Braun, Evelyne Brochu
November 18th: Steven Pasquale, Owen Wilson, Elizabeth Perkins, Chloë Sevigny, David Ortiz, Mike Epps
November 19th: Calvin Klein, Jodie Foster, Meg Ryan, Ted Turner, Larry King, Patrick Kane
November 20th: Emilio Pucci, Robert F. Kennedy, Joe Biden, Bo Derek, Joel McHale
November 21st: Voltaire, Goldie Hawn, Jena Malone, Carly Rae Jepsen
November 22nd: Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyler Hilton, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson
An impressive list of names for an incredibly note-worthy sign.
From now until November 2nd, I will be spending my time as I see fit. I encourage everyone to take a bit of confidence from this sign and see how empowering it really is.
copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
October’s New Moon is upon us and this one promises to be extremely potent. Some deep transformations are under way, new incarnations, new pathways beckoning. Like with every New Moon it is a time for new starts, after today the Moon will start waxing until it becomes full, it is a time to start new projects.
To all my fellow Scorpios, it’s time to raise hell during our rebirth!