Perhaps The Most Important Thing We Bring…

“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence. It is hard to find. In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment, a strength on which to build a life. Silence is a place of great power and healing.” ―Rachel Naomi Remen

I’m Awake

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I’m not sure what I did to deserve intense sunshine this morning, but it somehow encouraged the migraine I woke up with. By “encourage”, I mean it made me ten times sicker than I thought possible. Reluctantly took Relpax. The problem with the generic version of this medication is that the side effects can give you the symptoms of a heart attack. You can feel your chest tightening and it might be hard to breathe, but then it passes. I added 60 mgs of Corgard just to keep things interesting (it’s a blood pressure medication used to prevent migraines. I immediately discovered that taking it daily didn’t help, but taking it during a migraine can sometimes eliminate it quickly. Doctors don’t know everything, but YOU know your body best.).

Should I be having such a severe migraine so quickly after treatment? No, but there are also no guarantees that treatment will eliminate 100% of migraines. If that was the case, it would be considered a treatment/cure. Far from it.

Other than feeling like my head might explode, I am okay-ish. I go in next week for progress x-rays on my foot, ankle, and knee. When I went in to pick up the brace to stabilize my ankle, the doctor had apparently forgotten to put the order in. <cue the massive eye roll> I was not pleased. Upon returning to finally get it (after confirming twice), it was, once again, on back order. Is there suddenly some massive shortage for braces in this country?! My pharmacy was cleaned out of the over-the-counter version. I don’t think it’s acceptable to ask me to pay out of pocket for something that my insurance covers if you actually take care of it properly. After slightly consideration, I was too exhausted to play with Ace bandages and sports tape. It requires more attention to detail than I currently have at the moment.

The surgeon is concerned that I am still in a lot of pain with my ankle and foot. He shouldn’t be so damn shocked since he told me I didn’t need pain medication. Yeah, because who needs healthy bones that fully heal as you’re trying hard not to scream sometimes from the pain of it all? There are times where I am biting my arm to stop myself from screaming; that’s how painful this is. I have bruises I’ve covered up with concealer that doesn’t come off without a special makeup remover. The pulsing pain in my ankle is ridiculous and my foot is always screaming at me to sit down or stop using it. My own family seems to forget I am suffering through this. I was strictly forbidden to do 90% of the things I am still trying to do, with great struggle, so I might have made things a lot worse for myself. If I require surgery in a month or two, I will be furious. I pray it doesn’t come to that. We use our feet every single day. When it hurts to walk, stand, cook, shower, do the laundry, climb a flight of stairs or go down a flight of stairs, then that’s serious. I am so used to having a high pain threshold that I’m sure people assume it’s no big deal to throw in multiple injuries. It is a big deal. This is additional trauma my body really doesn’t need.

So yeah, awake, alive, and all that jazz. Praying for good results and better days ahead.

Copyright © 2020 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

 

 

There Comes A Time For Healing…

“There comes a time for healing no matter how broken you are right now; no matter how heavy your heart is right now.
There comes a time when you will go outside and let the sun shine on your face and let the wind touch your hair, and you will not be tired by just simply being awake.
There comes a time when you will be happy to be alive again and that day you will appreciate your own being because now you know the other side.
Now you know the opposite.
Now you know what it’s like to not be sure if you really are; who you really are; if you simply are, anymore. And that day will be the beginning of everything.”
―Charlotte Eriksson

Happy Thanksgiving 2019

 

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Wishing every one of you the start of a lovely holiday season. 😁

Thanksgiving is EXTREMELY controversial, for obvious reasons, but I remember family gatherings and I’m missing a LOT of people today. Thankfully, I woke up to messages from my brother and my best friend, who is the sister I always asked for. 🙏

I’m staying put because I was diagnosed with bronchitis and pneumonia on Tuesday. I’ve been sick for three months straight, complete with a vicious cough, and each doctor ignored my symptoms. Each one decided something different. This time, it was a nurse practitioner who listened to my lower right lung where the issue is. She said it’s entirely possible that the flu morphed slowly into a bacterial infection, but instead of giving me something for this insane cough, she simply prescribed an inhaler and antibiotics. She believes a chest x-ray will give me cancer, so I will NOT be seeing her again. It’s two minutes, not a trip through Chernobyl. 🙄

I hate being sick and left out, but I don’t want anyone getting sick because of me  so I’ll just simmer in my stressful misery. 😒

However you spend today, please be safe and responsible.

Much love to you all,

li

One (A-Deen)

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“Overwhelmed. Disappointed. Hurt. Sadness. Grieving. Struggling. Stabbed in the back. Empty. Trapped. Darkness. Silence. Isolation, but I’m not lost. Beauty in chaos. Trying to find a way back to myself. Living in truth. Attempting to heal. Gunpowder and lead. Through authenticity; anything is possible. And yet, very few people understand that you can want MORE, without being greedy; without ego. Your idea of “more” isn’t their idea, and that’s fine. No one asked for their interpretation. Hell, no one asked for their opinion!

Universe, LET’S DO THIS.”

© 2019 by Lisa Marino and Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

You Are The Energy You Attract

“You are the energy you attract. Whether you are aware of that or not, everything you come up against is teaching you about that part within yourself. Listen carefully, it’s a hint to a better you.”Nikki Rowe