I’m Awake


I’m not sure what I did to deserve intense sunshine this morning, but it somehow encouraged the migraine I woke up with. By “encourage”, I mean it made me ten times sicker than I thought possible. Reluctantly took Relpax. The problem with the generic version of this medication is that the side effects can give you the symptoms of a heart attack. You can feel your chest tightening and it might be hard to breathe, but then it passes. I added 60 mgs of Corgard just to keep things interesting (it’s a blood pressure medication used to prevent migraines. I immediately discovered that taking it daily didn’t help, but taking it during a migraine can sometimes eliminate it quickly. Doctors don’t know everything, but YOU know your body best.).

Should I be having such a severe migraine so quickly after treatment? No, but there are also no guarantees that treatment will eliminate 100% of migraines. If that was the case, it would be considered a treatment/cure. Far from it.

Other than feeling like my head might explode, I am okay-ish. I go in next week for progress x-rays on my foot, ankle, and knee. When I went in to pick up the brace to stabilize my ankle, the doctor had apparently forgotten to put the order in. <cue the massive eye roll> I was not pleased. Upon returning to finally get it (after confirming twice), it was, once again, on back order. Is there suddenly some massive shortage for braces in this country?! My pharmacy was cleaned out of the over-the-counter version. I don’t think it’s acceptable to ask me to pay out of pocket for something that my insurance covers if you actually take care of it properly. After slightly consideration, I was too exhausted to play with Ace bandages and sports tape. It requires more attention to detail than I currently have at the moment.

The surgeon is concerned that I am still in a lot of pain with my ankle and foot. He shouldn’t be so damn shocked since he told me I didn’t need pain medication. Yeah, because who needs healthy bones that fully heal as you’re trying hard not to scream sometimes from the pain of it all? There are times where I am biting my arm to stop myself from screaming; that’s how painful this is. I have bruises I’ve covered up with concealer that doesn’t come off without a special makeup remover. The pulsing pain in my ankle is ridiculous and my foot is always screaming at me to sit down or stop using it. My own family seems to forget I am suffering through this. I was strictly forbidden to do 90% of the things I am still trying to do, with great struggle, so I might have made things a lot worse for myself. If I require surgery in a month or two, I will be furious. I pray it doesn’t come to that. We use our feet every single day. When it hurts to walk, stand, cook, shower, do the laundry, climb a flight of stairs or go down a flight of stairs, then that’s serious. I am so used to having a high pain threshold that I’m sure people assume it’s no big deal to throw in multiple injuries. It is a big deal. This is additional trauma my body really doesn’t need.

So yeah, awake, alive, and all that jazz. Praying for good results and better days ahead.

Copyright © 2020 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.



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