F&CK CANCER

Link 2014-12-02 Miss Poison Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses Cancer, Fuck Cancer, Honesty, Life's Battles, Loss, Pieces Of Me, Stephen Amell

https://represent.com/stephen

This campaign has already raised over one million dollars. I will proudly be sporting two different pieces from this collection, in different colors.

Cancer has deeply affected my life. It has taken the lives of more than half of my family, including my Grandmother, Uncle, and father. It is a cruel, evil disease and anything that can be done to help eradicate it and bring across a fantastic message as well, has my support. There’s less than 24 hours left. There are “clean” versions and the original version (That’s the one I chose, not a shocker.) with plenty of offerings in terms of size and color, not to mention worldwide shipping.

If you know someone going through any type of cancer fight, give them this as a show of your support this holiday season. Even if they don’t say this is how they feel about the fight, it IS. I will be wearing this in honor of everyone I have loved and lost to cancer, and also in honor of the survivor in my life.

Goodbye November

2014-11-30 Miss Poison December, Honesty, Life, Loss, Love, November, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing December, Evolve, Goodbye, Growth, Honesty, Life, Loss, November, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

Goodbye November

Some months are good to you, and others are a bitch. Sometimes a month is riddled with bad news, negativity, hostility, and unhappiness. When a month is ugly, you need to say goodbye, and leave it behind you. It’s senseless to constantly look behind you to the bad when the future is going to be fresher and brighter. It does not mean it will be easy, but can it be better? Yes.

And so, I say “Goodbye November”. I took this month with a grain of salt, a shovel full of sand, and a sprinkle of sugar (real sugar, not the fake crap!). It’s time to look forward.

December is, by proxy, an emotionally difficult month for me. It is the anniversary of too much death, it is the month of birthdays of people I have loved and lost, and the holiday season is a poor reminder of all those things.

I’m a bit of a hermit during the Winter months. I write, I read, I listen to music, I watch movies, I do my best to stay out of the cold, and I try not to think too hard about all of the horrible shit that has happened in my life. I try to look, and focus on, the positive. It’s not always easy to do. You live, you learn, you grow, you evolve (Sound familiar Lillian? LOL.). But most importantly: You make an effort.

I can say, without fail, that I have grown and evolved SO MUCH in the past seven years. I look in the mirror and see someone who is definitely smarter, sharper, sassier, and completely unapologetic in the fact that she’s going to be herself. Right about this time seven years ago, I was writing a eulogy to be given at my father’s impending funeral. I spent two months writing it, knowing that the end was near. I wrote something heartfelt and beautiful, and about a year later I had someone insult it, saying that I accepted crumbs when I deserved more. What she didn’t understand is that I have class, and tact. Whatever goes on behind closed doors doesn’t always need to be aired to the world at large. I chose to write something and speak in a way that would not shame anyone. My feelings may have evolved since then, but I still stand behind the choice because I know it was the right thing to do.

Not everyone is going to understand or respect your journey. They don’t have to, and they don’t need to. After all, it’s not theirs to comprehend.

Be you, no matter how difficult it is at times. Don’t apologize, unless you’ve truly done something wrong.

Goodbye November…I won’t miss anything about you. I am cutting ties. It’s time to go “Back To December”.

The True Alchemists…

Image 2014-11-30 Miss Poison Images/Photos/Quotes, Inspiration, Pieces Of Me, Words Alchemists, Gold, Images/Photos/Quotes, Lead, William H. Gass, Words

Thoughts Through Other Eyes

2014-11-282014-11-29 Miss Poison Authors, Honesty, Judgment, Men, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Thoughts, Unfiltered, Women, Writers, Writing Authors, Being Real, Best Face Forward, Honesty, Judgment, Languages, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Unfiltered, Work, Writers, Writing

I am tired in a soul-deep, bone-deep way that I can’t quite explain. I know it is borne out of doing too much, too fast, without proper rest. Sometimes I forget that I have limitations due to Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain and I simply want my normal life back. In turn, I suffer for every move I make in ignoring said limitations. Simply put, it BLOWS.

I hurt from the very top of my spine, which, by the way, is where my tattoos begin (Yes, right underneath my hair down a portion of my spine. Believe me when I say, they did not hurt. The entire experience was very positive. It felt more like being scraped repeatedly as opposed to actual pain, and who better to know the difference than someone who experiences pain 24/7? I sat for close to two hours. I have heavily inked male friends who told me their own ink in the exact same spot hurt like hell and had to be done in 2-3 sessions. They have less on their spine than I do.), all the way to the center of both feet. I’ve done a LOT this week. Now, all I want to do is get this mind-numbing headache and unbelievable stomach pain to stop so I can SLEEP. I’d also like someone to feed and water my girls, so I don’t have to get out of bed unless I really want/need to. What are the chances of the latter happening? Slim to none, and unfortunately Slim is very easily distracted.

I survived Thanksgiving, and did every single thing I set out to do in terms of cooking and baking. YAY! Of course now, I am happy to sit in front of my laptop or the TV for the next week, only moving when absolutely necessary.

An interesting job presented itself recently. I would get to use my little-used Russian in editing a pretty large manuscript. It sounds great, and yet, I need a few days to sleep on it. Yes, someone else could get the job instead, and that can happen no matter what, but it made me take a good look at my list of spoken and learned languages. I’m actually a lot smarter than I let on, but I’ve always had to be.

When you’re a writer, people judge you based on the work you present to them. I think this is true more so now than ever before, but at times, it doesn’t seem to matter at all if you’re presenting absolute crap, which is insulting to me.

You can walk into a business meeting looking like Stephen King, so long as the material is brilliant, no one will care. They might whisper about you amongst themselves later on, but they’re truly looking at the manuscript above all else. As a woman, it’s different. You have to be presentable enough that when you’re photographed for the inside and/or back cover, you don’t completely disgrace your entire gender. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me how pretty a writer is when all I could think was “But is her work any good?” Not in a catty or bitchy way, but in a genuine “Unless we’re talking about Angelina Jolie, I don’t care what she looks like” way. I want what I read to be of a specific level of quality. I want it to capture and intrigue me. I don’t care what the author looks like. However, I have noticed that a great many people do.

The flip side of this particular coin is that more and more authors now attend San Diego Comic Con and New York Comic Con, along with similar types of events all over the world. There is a lot more social media interaction with readers and as much face-to-face interaction as you (and your publisher) see fit. Being comfortable in your intelligence and knowledge isn’t always easy when you’re, technically, competing for the attention of those very same readers because Jennifer Lawrence or Eva Green are also in the building promoting a highly anticipated film. Truth be told, I’d rather sit and listen to Eva Green too, but that’s just me. I’m slightly fascinated by her and have been for a good 8 years or so.

I don’t know a lot of writers that are absolute extroverts. I know a lot of very shy, quiet, introverted writers who can be extroverts for short periods of time, in the right company. While not exactly shy, I am definitely on the quieter side most of the time. If you happen to be discussing something interesting or something I am knowledgeable about, I MIGHT chime in, I might not. However, of late, I’ve noticed I’m getting some odd attention in public settings.

For the most part, but really only face-to-face, women talk to me purely about superficial things. Hair, skin, the nail polish I have on, my tattoos (Because I completely forget that they’re there and that they’re visible. I apply sunscreen to them, that’s the extent of my awareness most days,), make-up, perfume, etc. Men, on the other hand, ask different questions and approach you differently. I try very hard to be focused in my day-to-day life, but there are many days where I truly don’t want to have any type of debate while on line at the bank or discuss the price of gas, oil, milk, eggs, etc. I do not have “Has all the answers” on a t-shirt or my forehead, and yet, this happens to me constantly.

I like for my work to speak for itself, but I absolutely make an effort at putting my best face forward. I’d prefer for someone to judge me based on my work and who I am as a person, but I know that’s not how life works. Women are harshly critiqued on their appearance. It’s not something I’ve ever liked and I like it even less now. However, I realize we are all guilty of it to some extent.

By all means, be disappointed in something that doesn’t screw with someone’s self-worth and self-confidence, but don’t attack others for what is, in all honesty, a quirk of nature. If you’ve ever said something to someone that sent them running to a plastic surgeon to “fix the problem”, maybe you should take a closer look at yourself because raining your issues onto others is one of the most unattractive things one can do.

Just not lest ye be judged. Be true to yourself and don’t worry about anything or anyone else.

Overreaching

2014-11-272014-11-27 Miss Poison Chronic Pain, Exhaustion, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, Musings, Pain, Pet Owners, Pets, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Writing Cooking, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Friendships, Gratitude, Pain, Pets, Poison In Lethal Doses, Relationships, Thanksgiving, Writing

I decided a few weeks ago to forgo all the “traditional” Thanksgiving Day fare. I did not relish the idea of dealing with a turkey when a good half of it would end up in the garbage or making stuffing because I made it last year and there is simply NEVER enough stuffing one can have. I’m a carb fiend, take my word on this. FYI for all pet owners: Do not give your dogs or cats dark meat, it’s too rich for them.

Alas, I came up with a different idea. It’s a great idea. However, after a very long day of shopping in two different stores for everything I needed yesterday, I woke up this morning (way too early) and had a moment of utter panic.

What possessed me to think that chopping 7 pounds of vegetables would be “no big deal”? I’m more concerned with my Fibromyalgia, because it is flaring up BIG TIME today from my neck to my ankles, than I am about my skills with a knife (I already sliced myself last night on a mixer blade.). I will have no choice, but to take breaks in between each veggie (there are 4 in total, but there is, obviously, a LOT of it.). My only “plus” is that having had a migraine yesterday afternoon, which required medicine with caffeine to abort it out of my system, I was left wide awake into the wee hours of the morning. It was around 10:30 or so last night when I decided I was “awake, therefore I should bake”. It took more time to mix up the batter than it did to bake the two cakes I made. I thought they were awful, until I tasted the 100% cooled product this morning. It’s a little like dying and going to heaven, depending on what you like cake wise. I’m only feeling certain flavors these days. But hey, that’s one additional thing out of the way. All I have to do is frost the cake, though I do have to say that certain frostings are so disgusting, and filled with chemicals that terrify me, that I wish I’d taken a spare 30 seconds to read one can before agreeing to it. However, it’s not going into MY body, so it’s not on me. At least the normal one has ingredients in it that I can pronounce, as opposed to “Let me just Google this…” That is the quickest way to ruin dessert.

I think Aleve should be forced to change their advertising slogan from “It’s your life, pain shouldn’t get in the way. 2 pills will provide up to 12 hours of relief.” (Less than ten years ago, they claimed that 2-3 pills was 24 hours of pain relief compared to 8 Tylenol. Who the hell are they kidding? Neither of them work.) to “2 pills MIGHT give you an hour or so of peace.” There’s absolutely no drastic difference if I use the brand name or a generic version, there’s no such thing as true “relief”. I’m willing to do a LOT right now for true pain relief, but I have my limits. I already feel like someone beat me to death and no one has found my body yet, so if you don’t hear from me for a while, I must have posted from the spirit realm.

Dinner won’t be “early” tonight, hell, it might not even be served in a timely fashion, but I’ll do my best to get it all done. I have an assistant, we’ll see how long he lasts before I throw him out of the kitchen. As long as there’s no bloodshed (from my chopping knife), it’s all good.

No matter how you spend this holiday or where you are spending it, especially for our troops overseas who are away from their families, take a moment to appreciate the good things in your life and all the unhappy, bad shit that lead you to this place. Take stock of all that is important to you. Sometimes we find that the list is huge and other times we find that the list is smaller. My list is in the acknowledgements of Book One. I cannot say it’s short.

Don’t just be thankful today, be thankful every day.

Unbelievable!

2014-11-262014-11-26 Miss Poison Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unbelievable Crap, Work, Writing Annoyance, Editing, Idiots, Unprofessionalism, Work, Writing

Writers can be an incredibly quirky bunch, but occasionally you come across someone SO incredibly ass-backward and unprofessional that you find the entire situation utterly unbelievable. You almost expect hidden cameras to be shown to you at any given moment.

Long story short: A potential client contacted me over a manuscript he’d like to have edited. Eventually the listing closes, and even after saying he wanted to hire me, I hear nothing. I continued to follow-up. In the meantime I take another job, because I am not about to wait for this guy to get his act together. A few days ago he leaves me a new message, asking me to call him. I do, and I leave him a voice mail message. I specifically detailed in the message that he could call me back when he was ready to do so, and I followed it up with another written message. No response. No return phone call. I am not about to call him every hour on the hour until he calls me back. One message is enough. The e-mail message was more than I’d do for most people who have yet to sign on yet.

I come home tonight after a long day and he has re-listed the job. I had suggested that he re-list it, but I also told him I would still take the job and adhere to what we had previously agreed upon as far as what I would do and the original price I’d quoted him. Instead of listening to me, I had to submit an entirely new proposal, but this time I made sure to state that we’d already agreed upon this job and he had never gotten back to me. Why would you even bother asking someone to call you if you’re now accepting offers from other people for the very same job that, several weeks ago, was “mine”? This truly makes no sense and it annoys the crap out of me.

Unless I hear from him within the next few days, I am washing my hands of the situation entirely. I’d rather deal with someone professional than someone who can’t get their shit together.

Little things like this TRULY annoy me. I saw the job re-listed and my jaw nearly hit my laptop keys. I could not believe the stupidity and immaturity of it all. Mind you, he had the option of inviting me into the job, so clearly he can’t even follow simple instructions, which I detailed specifically in my last message to him. I cannot imagine what that manuscript looks like and now, I could not care less. He’d have to pay me triple to touch it.

Soldier

Video 2014-11-252014-11-24 Miss Poison Love, Loyalty, Music, Pieces Of Me, Relationships, Support Gavin DeGraw, Love, Music, Pieces Of Me, Soldier, Support

#LOVE

A Short Week

2014-11-24 Miss Poison Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Unfiltered, Writing Fibromyalgia, Goals, Moving Forward, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Work, Writing

A Short Week

As we steadily approach Thanksgiving here in the States, it means a short work week for many, and for others, it means a miserable time of year where you have no choice, BUT to work because you work in a mall or an individual store that will be absolutely PACKED as of Thursday afternoon or early evening. Retail employees should be paid quadruple during this time of year, it makes me cringe knowing the conditions they are forced into and the schedules that take them away from their families.

I know some people think I am “so lucky” to work for myself. In some ways, this is true. I set my own hours and I choose the jobs I want, but it also means I have to work my tail off on every single job, or I am completely unable to pay my bills. Some years are definitely better than others. Here’s hoping the holiday season leaves me booked solid, and with some decent eBay sales to help keep me moving in the right direction.

I’m still not feeling great. Today was pretty awful, so I am glad I took the time to rest and focus on myself for a little while, without pressuring myself and allowing negative thoughts to enter my mind.

Sometimes I think if we keep moving forward, we move towards better things, better people, better situations, inevitably moving towards the finish line of each goal we set.

May every goal you set for yourself, however large or small, not be hell to attain.

After Midnight Musings

2014-11-232014-11-23 Miss Poison Artists, Creativity, Emotions, Freedom, Honesty, Intuition, Musings, Perception, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Right/Wrong, Space, Thinking, Thoughts, Wicca, Writers, Writing Artists, Authenticity, Creativity, Differences, Honesty, Intuition, Musings, Opinions, Perception, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Wiccan Rede, Writers, Writing

Writers are a very different breed of artist. We create differently. We all have different “methods to our madness”, which, in my opinion, is a good thing.

I have friends from all different professional walks of life, but I am drawn to the creative, unique, and quirky. I am drawn to well thought out opinions, to creativity I would never have personally imagined, and to those that understand the deep nature of those of us who commit ink to paper.

People often expect me to be left-brained and all about logic because I come from a fact-based, opinionated background in my work. The truth is, I am predominantly right-brained. I know that if I make all of my decisions logically, I am putting tiny fragments of glass into my soul, constantly leaving open wounds. While making clear, concise decisions is important to me, I also trust my intuition to guide me in the right direction. It’s not about living a life of logic, or of heart-based decision, but a life entirely focused on my internal and external senses. It has yet to guide me in the wrong direction.

Not everyone believes in or understands extra-sensory perception, but I was raised to understand it, and I am trained to understand it, so to live a life where I ignore it isn’t going to fly with me. If my intuition tells me that a glass is going to spill and I walk away, I am going to be pissed when the glass spills because I ignored my own inner voice AND I have a mess to clean up that could have been avoided. That same inner voice is a bit of a guide-post. It can help save your life, and it can help you write something amazing. All you have to do is pay close enough attention.
•.¸.• ✫*¨•*´☾☆☽`*•¨*✫ •.¸.•.¸.• ✫*¨•*´☾☆☽`*•¨*✫ •.¸.•.¸.• ✫*¨•*´☾☆☽`*•¨*✫ •.¸

Recently it was brought to my attention that I am maybe “too venomous”. I’m not, but this was slightly enlightening to hear. Interestingly enough, only one person feels this way, and if anyone else does, please, by all means, start a club.

I promised myself that this platform would be 100% authentic in every single way. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to tone myself down, dumb myself down, edit my words, over-think anything, or be present “just to exist” and take up space. That’s not being true to who I am as a person, nor is it being true to who I am as a writer.

I absolutely refuse to edit my soul. Like most intelligent people, I know when to keep my mouth shut, I know when to back off, and I know when to stand up and speak. I am not passive or shy. I am a great observer, but I’m also not psycho-analyzing others for the sheer joy of it. If I’m taking the time to psycho-analyze something or someone, there is probably reason for it. I truly prefer to be an introverted extrovert and I am almost never bored because my brain is constantly creating. However, I’d rather be focused on what truly makes me happy, what truly inspires me, than be worrying about whether or not my words are being misconstrued.

So for future reference, if you think I’m “not nice”, you’re probably right. If I write something and it makes someone uncomfortable, then they don’t have to read it. I make avid use of the FOLLOW button too, and everyone has the right to read what they like, to read what inspires them, whatever is encouraging and supportive to them, basically, whatever helps nourish the creative soul.

When I have time, I read things. It might not be daily, but I do read your comments and I will almost always pay your blog a visit if you’ve left me several comments or liked a lot of my work. A lot of people are looking to connect with fellow writers and I think that is one of the best things about the writing community. We are a close-knit, quirky bunch. Some are very easy to get along with, others not so much, but it’s okay. We are all individuals, we all write what we write, and never should we feel the need to compete against one another or be negative because there is room for everyone.

Writing is about growth, it is about creativity, it is honest, refreshing, and a form of communication that I have always found to be quite freeing. If I can inspire someone else, or make them think outside the box, then I am proud to be able to do that. If I can encourage or support someone, then I absolutely will. I am not afraid to discuss the work of other writers or talk about books. In fact, I’m not afraid of much. However, I won’t ever be told by anyone to not be who I am, nor will I be told what to write. A friend once asked me not to be myself, and I am no longer friends with that person. Unless a person is hurting themselves or hurting others, they should be allowed to be who they are, and no one has the right to tell them they’re wrong simply for being themselves.

“An it harm none, do what ye will” are eight words that fulfill the Wiccan Rede. They are part of a moral compass, a guiding principle. What I perceive as harm might be different from what someone else perceives as harm, and the same holds true for many. There’s a difference between physical and emotional harm, I will not denounce either as harm. However, I do denounce perceived harm because that is open to interpretation. I cannot be held accountable for perception, and only I know my true intent.

Every single person perceives things differently. We do not all agree on every single thing in this world, nor would I ever expect us to. That is part of what makes the world go ‘round. Difference of opinion can bring us together or push us apart. I choose to always hold true to my beliefs, leaving room for change if I am somehow getting the impression that my feelings might be wrong on something. As human beings, we are all entitled to that. This is not a place for group-think, it is a place for individuality.

If nothing and nowhere else, allow this to be your place of freedom. It is, without question, without fail, one of mine.