Full Cold Moon In Cancer

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Tonight is The Full Cold Moon, named because after tonight the temperature will start to drop rapidly. It is also known as The Oak Moon and Yule Moon, This is an especially special Full Moon because it is the final one of this year. This will be one of the biggest. brightest Moons of the year.

Tonight’s Full Moon is rising in the sign of Cancer. It will be an intense, highly charged Moon filled with strong emotions coming to the surface. Don’t hold them back; let them out. This is a time of release, of letting go, and being our authentic selves. Let the world see the real you. Something has been building inside of us, and now is the time when the energy of the cosmos demands that we let it out.

This is a particularly lucky Full Moon, so don’t be afraid to go for the things you want. Lady luck is shining on you now, so be ready for all that the universe is ready to gift you. Open your hands and your heart and accept your universal gifts. Don’t be scared to dream big and ask for more. Be positive and open yourself up to allow the good to come in to your life. Be ambitious, go for what you want, or put plans in place to achieve what you want in the future. You will have inner strength now that will pull you through anything that comes up against you.

This is a time to look back on the year passed and reflect on all the lessons we have learned, and the people who have come and gone in our lives. As we come to the end of this year we should use the energy of this Full Moon to energize ourselves for the coming new year. All the inner work you have focused on this year will now be the foundation for bringing more power, love, and energy into your life in this creative, forward-moving period. On this Full Moon we can truly bring in change, and transform ourselves to be who we want to be. We will feel braver and more confident than usual. Luck will be on your side. Let your thoughts and desires manifest into something real.

This Full Moon brings light to whatever was hidden in the darkness or buried within the subconscious, such as emotional pain or our deepest desires, but once awareness happens, you are able to make realistic changes. Our emotional levels move like strong turbulent waves in the ocean during high tide during this Full Moon in Cancer. Emotional reactions may be strong, energies may feel irritable or uptight, but don’t worry, as this will pass. We are amidst great times of transformation which are heralding major new beginnings. Change isn’t always easy or comfortable and it’s constant, so we must strive to keep our balance during these changing tides. Embrace the changes coming and steer them in a positive direction.

Let the Cancer energy of this Full Moon wash over you and cleanse your spirit, use it to heal you both emotionally and physically. Let the moonlight bathe and soothe you, body and soul. Seek a balance of light and dark and see the truth in your life, however much it may hurt. Only then can we do something about it. Now is a time of reaping the rewards of all the hard work we have put in this year, and try to relax a little and let the current take you to a new and exciting year.

Have a blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Written credit goes to Wicca Teachings.

Edited by Lisa Marino.

Photo credit: Various

Blessed Yule

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Today is Yule. It is celebrated on the Winter Solstice which is the longest night of the year. After this night, the nights will start to get shorter and the days will get longer. It is the rebirth of the Sun.

Ancient people were hunters and farmers and spent most of their time outdoors. The seasons and weather played a very important part in their lives. Because of this, many ancient people had a great reverence for, and worshiped the Sun. The Norsemen saw the sun as a wheel that changed the seasons. It was from the word for the wheel, houl or jol, that the word Yule is thought to have come.

Every 6 months there is a Solstice. On the Summer Solstice the longest day of the year and shortest night, the Waning Sun takes control of the skies and the days get shorter and nights get longer, the cold starts to set in and vegetation on the earth begins to die. On the Winter Solstice the Waxing Sun takes over and the nights start to get shorter and the days longer, it is a sign that Spring is only a few months away, where life will begin anew and the earth will start to blossom and bloom.

On Yule we celebrate the return of the Waxing Sun. In Wicca it is birth of the Sun God who has many names: Cernunnos, The Oak King, Apollo, Sol, Freyr, Horus, Mithras, The Horned God, The Green Man, Lord Of Light, and more. The Goddess gives birth to him on this night, she sacrifices herself to give life to the Lord Of Light to ensure the earth’s survival.

In ancient tradition, Yule was celebrated with a large fire where the townsfolk and villagers would dedicate it to the Sun God. They would fill their homes with evergreens and an evergreen tree to show that even though the land is barren and dead, life is still flourishing. They would decorate the tree and their home with shiny objects to encourage The Sun God to shine.

We use Holly and Mistletoe on Yule as symbols of the fertility of the God and Goddess as they grow in the Winter. The red berries of the Holly represent the blood of the Goddess and the white berries of Mistletoe represent the semen of the God to ensure a healthy Spring and harvest to come.

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Fill your Yule altar with fruit, nuts, and seasonal winter fare such as fallen leaves, fallen tree branches, acorns, evergreens, and anything bright and shining. Light yellow, green, red, white, or orange candles to ensure a good year and honor the season. Make an offering of wine, grapes, juniper berries, apples, nutmeg, cinnamon, or cloves to the Gods to honor them and wish for a happy new year.

The Winter Solstice has been celebrated by many ancient cultures, one of the most famous being Saturnalia.The ancient Romans held a festival to celebrate the rebirth of the year. Saturnalia ran for seven days from the 17th-23rd of December. It was a time when the ordinary rules were turned upside down. Men dressed as women and masters dressed as servants, the servants were given lavish gifts and their masters made them a big feast. The festival also involved decorating houses with greenery, lighting candles, holding processions, and giving presents. A Saturnalia Tree would be the center piece of every home.

Yule is a celebration of light and of the Sun and its life-giving properties upon the earth. It is a time to rejoice and be thankful for all we have and to gather strength for the new year. It is a time to contemplate on the year that has gone and look to the future.

The Winter Solstice falls on the longest night of the year (this can fall anywhere between the 20th-23rd of December) and was celebrated in Britain long before the arrival of Christianity. The Druids (Celtic priests) would cut the mistletoe that grew on the oak tree and give it as a blessing. Oaks were seen as sacred and the winter fruit of the mistletoe was a symbol of life in the dark winter months.

It was also the Druids who began the tradition of the yule log. The Celts thought that the sun stood still for twelve days in the middle of winter and during this time a log was lit to conquer the darkness, banish evil spirits, and bring luck for the coming year. To make a Yule log, cut a log into 12 pieces and burn a piece every day for 12 days, with each piece burned make a wish for the coming new year.

Today we welcome back the Lord of Light. Blessed Yule to all.

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Full Written Credit: Mystical Tymes

Edited by Lisa Marino

Photo Credit: Various

New Moon In Sagittarius

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Tonight is the New Moon in Sagittarius. This is the final New Moon of the year. As with all New Moons, this is the end of a cycle and a new beginning. It is an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start anew. Use this renewed energy to make a fresh start in the coming New Year.

Sagittarius is about hard work and strength, but it is also about hard play and vulnerability. You may be feeling a little underappreciated at the moment for all your hard work, but even though people don’t always show it, know that what you do for them is very much appreciated. Try not to dwell in negativity and let your playful, fun side out. We all need to relax and let our hair down now and again. You deserve a break.

Emotions will be high this New Moon; your feelings will be intense and heightened. Each individual is testing themselves to rise to a higher level through a challenge in some form. Many people start a New Year full of hope and promises and then start to feel down as the year progresses. Don’t let this happen to you. Keep your promises to yourself. Don’t lose faith; this will be a magical year full of powerful energy that will help you succeed.

Don’t get ready. Be ready. Uranus moves direct just hours before the Sagittarius New Moon. This is a green light from the universe to go forward. Uranus rules freedom. Uranus wants to liberate you from the chains that bind you. You are creating your reality. You do this from your thoughts, words, and behavior.

What do you want to create in the New Year? You are setting the foundation for the next twelve months now. Be practical and patient and set achievable goals for yourself.

Use the power of this New Moon for real growth. Look deep within yourself and ask what it is you need to change or grow, also ask what you need to let go of that which is holding you back. Don’t let fear stand in your way, push past it and make a real commitment to getting to where you want or need to be.

This is a time where you should be reflecting on the past and the lessons you have learned from this past year. Take the lessons into the future with you. Let go of the old and welcome the new. Take small steps you feel comfortable with to create a positive change. Start your own personal journey to who and what you want to be. Dream big, and think big. Be ambitious, follow your dreams and desires. Allow yourself to be happy.

Have a blessed New Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Full written credit goes to Wicca Teachings.

Developmental editing by Lisa Marino. 

Never Underestimate The Pain

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My physical, mental, & emotional agony trump a lot of other things at the moment. I’m, quite possibly, not clear-headed enough to write this properly, so please, bear with me. I’ll correct anything that I post that needs to be fixed later on.

I sit here terribly sleep-deprived, covered in varying degrees of bruises (some are healing, some are fresh), and my physical pain is worse than I ever imagined possible. And yet, none of it compares to what’s going on inside my head. 😦 For the past week, I have been pushed way beyond my limits and comfort zone. On the plus side; I’ve walked away from some very negative things that were causing me severe physical, mental, and emotional illness that I wasn’t even aware was happening until that final step away, when I took my first clean, stress-free breath and realized I hadn’t felt free in years. On the downside; the move I was trying to put off in order to take care of Patient X  until he is fully healed is coming up sooner than I thought possible.

As of this past Monday, 95% of my stuff is in storage. My temporary “safe place” is a hotel; the only pet-friendly one I could find. The room is fantastic, but the walls are closing in on me. Again, I’m stressed and sleep-deprived. This morning I felt so weak, I went back to sleep, something I’m trying in earnest NOT to do because it exacerbates my insomnia.

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Patient X’s first post-op appointment went surprisingly well. He is healing properly, mostly due to the fact that I’m OCD and constantly repeating myself so that he’ll listen at least one time out of ten. Unfortunately, his “young pain receptors” are having trouble with the really painful aspects of such a complicated and delicate surgery, so his pain medication was changed at yesterday’s appointment. I’m not thrilled with the choice, but so far, it is working.

I went to three different pharmacies for this drug and when I finally found one willing to fill it, they damn near told me to go back to Philly and fill it there. It is the store’s policy that certain drugs be filled “closer to the prescribing hospital”, as if people have a choice as to where they’re operated on or not! They were willing to do it this time because I’d called in advance, which apparently made them nervous (I think they called security several times, an absolute FIRST, and I’m a pain patient, so I was floored.). I’m not about to apologize for calling with a legitimate question. Lord knows I showed up less than ten minutes after calling with the script, the patient, and his driver’s license to prove it wasn’t being sold on the street. They weren’t going to fill it until they realized he’s A) wearing a Life Vest and B) talked with him about why it was prescribed. Not cool Walgreens, not cool AT ALL, especially in light of the medication you filled without batting an eye for several patients who showed up after me, one of which is something I feel should be outlawed, but I’m not judging the fact that people need it.

Walmart & Target: you should both carry this drug that I desperately needed to acquire immediately, even if only in small quantities. Post-op patients need access to pain medicine that their surgeons prescribe. It’s completely unacceptable to tell them you can order it “in a week”. What are they supposed to do in that week? Hang around with a thumb up their ass?! NO ONE should be forced to suffer because you’ve decided not to carry medication legally prescribed by a physician. By doing shit like that, you’re trying to override a doctor’s right to prescribe and you don’t have the authority to do so. I was so annoyed by the time the medication was paid for that I damn near flipped my lid, and I can only partially blame that on low blood sugar.

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Sunday is “moving day”. Some of my clothes & electronics, Cat, Kitten, and I are moving nearly five hours up north. Life as I know it is changing drastically, and I am not happy about the “rug pulled out from beneath my feet” feeling. Yes, I will adapt and yes, I will adjust. I will pull myself together and dust myself off over these next few weeks/months, mainly because stress can do horrible things to the body, mind, and soul. Someone told me on Monday that if I don’t take care of myself, I could do irreparable damage. She herself was so stressed around this time last year that she had to re-learn how to walk. I don’t want to reach that level of stress, so I need to get on the self-care diet of putting myself first for a few hours every single day.

Once I move, there will be a period of time where I will have to back-date things I write for this platform because I am not 100% sure when I’ll have Internet access, however, things will be written & posted as soon as humanly possible. Let’s hope the wait isn’t too long, lest I lose my marbles. There is such a thing as “too much silence” after a big move. The only books I have are on my Kindle Fire (every book I own is sadly, in storage. My poor babies!), and all of my music is packed, so I will be living off of what’s saved on my laptop and phone until I’m back for good. You simply never know when I will need to listen to Taylor Swift on a loop and cry.

I will miss all of you during “the dark period”, but know that I’ll be back the second the technician plugs everything in. I’ll be in touch before I leave. Be sure to check my Twitter feed and for those that need to know, my cell # and e-mail address will not be changing.

Laters, peeps!

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Insomnia & Painsomnia: A Wicked Combination

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Whenever there’s something stressful going on in my life, it often affects my sleep, thus turning me into a shadow of my former self. Insomniac Lisa and Painsomnia Lisa are two very different beasts from the person I am when I’m able to prioritize sleep, and actually get into bed each night at a decent hour. I’m never 100% pain-free, but sleep is a crucial part of how my body recovers from what I do to it each day. I have worked my ass off this past month and lost roughly 20 pounds, somehow managing to strengthen my upper back muscles in the process.

Unfortunately for the past month, my sleep has been insanely erratic. First it was major moving stress, liable to affect even the calmest person in the world, of which I openly admit is not me. Then it was my brother’s pre-hospitalization health, closely followed by getting the phone call that he would need open-heart surgery or a transplant. It’s normal to have things like that affect you on many levels health-wise. Let’s face facts: No one expects someone young to be told that their heart is at 11% capacity. An entire team of doctors and surgeons and two different hospitals told him he was 10-15 years too early for such a severe issue. All of this crap has been screwing with me day and night and thus far, nothing I’ve done is helping. To add insult to injury, I have had a migraine since the day before Thanksgiving. I currently feel as if my head is in its very own torture chamber, taking my body along for the ride. 😦

When my brother was first released from the hospital, my sleep schedule had already shifted due to late-night texting and phone calls when he was still hospitalized and feeling lonely late at night, before his final dose of pain meds took over. There were many times I had to suggest he watch something on TV (“It’s almost 10 PM, here are three shows you can watch tonight. I have GOT to get some sleep!”), and then mute the ringer on my phone as opposed to allowing it to vibrate, so I could go to bed without the phone buzzing for hours. Now he’s here 24/7, and he’s driving me insane.

He’s not doing anything in particular to make me crazy (though I wish he’d remember that his legs are fine and he can get up and pour his own damn drinks!), he just happens to be in my personal space, and I crave privacy and silence. He’s mortified that I disinfected the remote, but since I don’t want him getting sick and he’s using it and I’m using it as well, I figured it was a wise decision. It is cold & flu season and while he is currently not in contact with other people several days a week, I am, and that can pose a problem for him if I bring something into the house that I did not leave with.

The other night he fell asleep while I was talking to him (I wasn’t boring him, he was simply in a lot of pain.). It was super early, but I felt that was the perfect time to cover him with a few extra blankets (It’s cold here most nights, and even when it’s not, he’s complaining that he’s cold.), and sneak off into the silence that is my normal routine. Alas, he got about three hours of sleep and I was wide awake. The second I thought about going to sleep, he was moaning in pain and when I checked on him, he was messaging someone on his tablet, with the TV on lighting up three rooms.

After a highly stressful week, I was finally in bed at a decent hour last night. As soon as I’d dispensed the last pain pill of the day, my head was on the pillow. Unfortunately, the previously aforementioned migraine decided to kick things up a notch and a little after 2:00 a.m., I woke up in unimaginable pain. I have no idea how I am attempting to type this, much less see.

My first line of defense is to attempt to get some caffeine into my system. It’s the only thing I haven’t sought out or used to treat this particular pain level, when it would normally be something I thought about a bit more closely. No, last night I was too far gone, so I took something less targeted that, as a last resort, often helps. Clearly it only helped part of me. 😦 So, I am nursing caffeinated tea and I took two Excedrin Tension Headache capsules. Not because I have a tension headache as opposed to a migraine, I know the difference, but because sometimes that combination works for me and nips the migraine in the bud. It’s not a permanent solution, but nothing really is. If it doesn’t start working in an hour or so, I will take a third.

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It astounds people that I have managed to learn how to work through some of my worst migraines, or that I put myself into the head space to focus on healing one. I look at it this way: I am not going out and triggering the headache to be any worse than it already is. I am home, I’m safe, I can control the environment (noise level, light, temperature), and I know not to move around too much, but can I sit at a darkened laptop screen and talk about it? Sometimes, yes. That doesn’t diminish the intensity of the migraine, it does not mean I don’t suffer from migraines (three neurologists and two other doctors are all in agreement that I suffer from migraines. They have gotten worse since my first diagnosis, so there’s nothing else it could be. Everything else has been ruled out.), and it also doesn’t mean it’s “just a headache”. On occasion, like most sufferers, I will get a dull headache. Unfortunately, dull can go to extremes pretty quickly, so I take all headache forms seriously. I don’t walk around denouncing other people’s pain either. If a person says they have a headache, but quickly says “I don’t get migraines like you do.”, I still wouldn’t tell them it was “no big deal”. Pain is pain. No one likes it and for those of us that endure it 24/7, I have seen people empathize with others openly, and I have also seen people blow off the pain of others because they somehow feel it is their right in life to be the one person on the planet who has it far worse than the rest of us. Sorry, but that couldn’t possibly be true, or you’d be dead. What may be indeed true is that everyone’s threshold for pain is different. In fact, I know this to be true.

In studies, it has been determined that women tolerate pain differently from their male counterparts. Not better, not worse, just different. Taking into consideration that the female body can push out a human-being during the process of giving birth, that’s not an immense surprise to me.

All of my heavily tattooed male friends had their jaws on the floor when I sat through my first four tattoos and described the pain as “No worse than a cat scratch.” You see, I chose a spot that most of them found to be extremely painful. They all told me to put my ink somewhere else, that the pain would be too much for me to endure, especially considering I suffer from Fibromyalgia, but I’d consulted with several artists who, like me, believed that my first tattoo should be someplace easily covered up with clothing. However, never to do things the simple way, I got my first four all at the same time. I wouldn’t even rate that a one on my personal pain scale. I’ve had more painful piercings.

As many of you also suffer from migraines, has anyone gotten a Daith piercing to try to combat them? Compared to all the medication, a myriad of supplements that may or may not be useful to the individual, various treatment methods, Botox, acupuncture, etc., the piercing itself, depending on where one goes, is between $50-$100. I am being told that it works for 50% of the people who get it, but I am also being told the relief is temporary, though some people are reporting themselves migraine-free 3-7 years post-piercing. I have decided to try acupuncture for a year to see if that spot along either of my ears responds to treatment. My insurance covers it, which is rare, so I am going to take the opportunity to use it first. I’m not sure I need another hole in my head, but I’d be interested in hearing whether or not the piercing has helped anyone. If you’re considering getting this particular piercing, please go somewhere highly reputable and have someone experienced do the piercing itself. The report of infection with this spot is very high, and I’d hate for anyone to go through that. I’ve only had three piercings in my life that gave me problems. Luckily they never got infected, but two of them bled for years if someone hugged me too hard, and the third still gives me problems on occasion (The fact that I share the piercing with a highly toxic person is probably why… I’m a big believer in energy. Sometimes we are healthier overall without certain people in our lives.). While most piercings are mainly decorative, there is no medical or scientific evidence that a Daith piercing is a cure for migraines, so don’t read into all of the Pinterest and Instagram “science”. Those are exclusively individual experiences, most of which are brand new. There’s no way of knowing what the long-term effects may be. For many, it is worth it for temporary relief. I’d rather explore a few additional options first.

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Are there any alternative treatment methods that work best for your migraines? If so, what are they?

The day insomnia can be cured in any way, shape, or form, I will be on a line for that! Right next to the line for the great Fibro/Chronic Pain cure. Here’s hoping we see it in this lifetime.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Has Anyone Else Noticed?

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This time of year either brings out the good in people, or it brings out the bad. Unfortunately, I am dealing with assumptions, presumptions, accusations, and have decided that not speaking to certain people is really the healthiest decision for all involved. I have a temper and I know how to use it, so really, it’s healthier for me. Wisdom helps you make decisions such as these.

I’m pretty laid back and easy-going, but when you say certain things to me, it’s like asking the sleeping dragon not to shoot fire. The nicest person in the world (not me) can be provoked, but provoking me is courting disaster. Seek and ye shall find.

A “joke” to some people that is simply not funny doesn’t radiate as humor, be it verbally or in print. I worry about people sometimes, especially those who laugh at their own jokes when they’re truly not the least bit funny. If the only person laughing is you, it’s not humor. Granted, I am guilty of laughing at the things I come up with, however I have legitimate proof that I’m funny, and this person does not.

*Warning, here’s where I get a bit graphic.*

What is it about December that somehow provides most people with A) A rather large stick up their ass or B) A life-size bug up their ass? I’m contemplating calling in a proctologist for all of them because I’d like said sticks removed and then sent off to a lab to be inspected for termites. What is WRONG with so many people? And God, WHY do I have to be related to some of them?!

All of a sudden, people who haven’t spoken to me in six months, or longer, are demanding phone calls because apparently an e-mail is “way too time-consuming”. Are you kidding me?! A phone call is too time-consuming if I can’t stand to listen to you! I really don’t have all damn day, nor do I think that talking to me should be considered a “multi-tasking chore”. God as my witness, I would NEVER say that to someone. I’m not going to call you from the bathroom while I scrub the tub or steam clean my floors. I’m not going to call you while I change a litter box. For one, you don’t want to hear me cursing when I do those things and two, it’s rude. When I’m talking to someone, they have my undivided attention. Yes, I might be transferring my laundry from the washer to the dryer, I might be cooking or chopping vegetables, but I’m not vacuuming and expecting them to hear me clearly. Again, that’s rude. And there are so many instances when I will tell a friend “I’m cooking, is it all right if I call you back later when I’m done? I don’t want you not to have my full attention.” It’s common courtesy, and it also keeps the knife out of my hand if a person says something shocking while telling me something and my hand slips. No one wants to explain a knife injury at Urgent Care or the ER. Especially since certain knife related wounds MUST be reported to the police. That’s all I need, a report about how I got klutzy with a fancy knife. No thanks!

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people who call me while they’re driving. I don’t care if you’re on a Bluetooth for two hours or that you have “nothing else to do when you’re driving”, it is still DANGEROUS. How many people have lost their lives because they were on the phone while driving? I don’t want to be responsible for that, it makes me nervous. If it makes me nervous, respect that I don’t want to talk to you while you’re hurling down the road at 65+ miles an hour and call me when you have the time to do so. If you’re telling me “Oh, I’m just SO busy…”, then don’t call me at all. Don’t send me e-mails or Facebook messages either. However, do not presume to tell me what I should be doing or how I should be doing it. No one is SO important that I have to drop everything I have planned on any given day to spend 7 hours on the phone with them listening to things I have no solid interest in listening to. A friend in need? YES, no question, I will drop everything, but I will not drop everything for nonsensical crap.

I have varying interests. I am not limited in what I find interesting and/or intriguing. I only have a one-track mind about certain things, but after that, I can concentrate on many different things at once and a conversation should be something you’re not vacant about. The second I’m out of a conversation, any intelligent person can tell, and I don’t like being a space cadet. Unfortunately, certain types of people bring it out of us.

Anyone telling me that they’re “confused” by my response or reaction to their childishness or stupidity is simply adding fuel to the fire. I am clear. I am concise. I do not mince words. Of late, I have felt like I needed to bang my head against a wall dealing with certain types of people and quite frankly, I have enough migraines and I don’t need the additional headaches that would surely cause.

Unlike a lot of people in this world, I know with certainty that the world doesn’t revolve around me. In fact, I’m sure I am just a dot in this world. I am not self-involved or self-important. I know my worth and value, yes, but I don’t have my head shoved up my own ass. I can respect someone else’s perspective, but I do not have to agree with it. I think some people are amazing at their jobs, but have absolutely no social skill set whatsoever outside of work. The same can be said in reverse for many people too, but generally I know people with amazing work ethic who are passionate about what they do, as opposed to those who look down upon anyone for not being in the same line of work as them. One person’s “dream job” is, quite understandably, many other people’s worst nightmares. If I had to answer to a “boss” and be held accountable for absolute nonsense I would not last 12 hours. Maybe I’m under-estimating myself, but the difference is that I know who I am and I accept who I am. I know that if put in a situation where my integrity and work ethic are questioned, I will go off on you in a New York Minute. I have always worked for myself. The only person I’ve ever answered to was me. And believe me, I am plenty self-critical, but I’ve never treated anyone I work with the way I treat myself.

People are preaching about kindness, gratitude, and giving right now. However, very few people are practicing what they preach. All I can do is be myself and if someone doesn’t like that, too damn bad.

Inevitably, not everyone will like or love you. What IS important is remaining true to yourself, no matter what venom is spewed in your direction. Silence IS golden, but sometimes shooting back with something deadlier is also an option. No, it’s not always kind, but I don’t skip through the tulips, nor do I look for unicorns farting rainbows either.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Goodbye November

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Goodbye November

Some months are good to you, and others are a bitch. Sometimes a month is riddled with bad news, negativity, hostility, and unhappiness. When a month is ugly, you need to say goodbye, and leave it behind you. It’s senseless to constantly look behind you to the bad when the future is going to be fresher and brighter. It does not mean it will be easy, but can it be better? Yes.

And so, I say “Goodbye November”. I took this month with a grain of salt, a shovel full of sand, and a sprinkle of sugar (real sugar, not the fake crap!). It’s time to look forward.

December is, by proxy, an emotionally difficult month for me. It is the anniversary of too much death, it is the month of birthdays of people I have loved and lost, and the holiday season is a poor reminder of all those things.

I’m a bit of a hermit during the Winter months. I write, I read, I listen to music, I watch movies, I do my best to stay out of the cold, and I try not to think too hard about all of the horrible shit that has happened in my life. I try to look, and focus on, the positive. It’s not always easy to do. You live, you learn, you grow, you evolve (Sound familiar Lillian? LOL.). But most importantly: You make an effort.

I can say, without fail, that I have grown and evolved SO MUCH in the past seven years. I look in the mirror and see someone who is definitely smarter, sharper, sassier, and completely unapologetic in the fact that she’s going to be herself. Right about this time seven years ago, I was writing a eulogy to be given at my father’s impending funeral. I spent two months writing it, knowing that the end was near. I wrote something heartfelt and beautiful, and about a year later I had someone insult it, saying that I accepted crumbs when I deserved more. What she didn’t understand is that I have class, and tact. Whatever goes on behind closed doors doesn’t always need to be aired to the world at large. I chose to write something and speak in a way that would not shame anyone. My feelings may have evolved since then, but I still stand behind the choice because I know it was the right thing to do.

Not everyone is going to understand or respect your journey. They don’t have to, and they don’t need to. After all, it’s not theirs to comprehend.

Be you, no matter how difficult it is at times. Don’t apologize, unless you’ve truly done something wrong.

Goodbye November…I won’t miss anything about you. I am cutting ties. It’s time to go “Back To December”.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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