“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have faith.” ―Paulo Coelho
Over the past year, a lot has changed for me. Wonderful things, many wonderful opportunities. Amazing things which I’ve kept quiet about because I firmly believe in not feeding my own ego. I take a victorious moment and then I might share it with my nearest and dearest (Not always.), but I don’t make a big deal out of anything I have worked hard for. Probably because I am a realist; I know how quickly something can go awry, and how easily one can be left with nothing. Also, bragging genuinely isn’t my style. It repulses me.
As I’ve suffered and struggled these past few weeks health-wise, I’ve made some important decisions. I have chosen to do a social media cleanse, to the best of my ability. I refuse to be the person with her phone in her hand constantly throughout each day. Unless it’s work e-mail, it can wait. Hell, most work e-mails were on hold this week until early Friday morning, and if I haven’t answered something, that means I have not seen it. I’ve changed e-mail addresses and would prefer to keep my work and personal life separate.
Social media is mind-numbing and has become an unhealthy habit (for me). During last weekend’s blizzard, I spoke only to two people, and a third briefly checked in after the storm was over and clean-up was stressful. Eventually, I turned my phone off and went to sleep. I took care of ME, and only me. For someone who isn’t selfish, shutting everything down was difficult, but necessary. By Monday, I almost felt cleansed and free, but things quickly escalated and once again, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone who did not fully understand where I am coming from. Sometimes people say, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”, but ultimately the rest of their behavior is clear; they don’t actually care about what you’re dealing with at all. They’re just being polite-ish for the sake of civilized politeness. Most people would not pick up on that shift, but I do. You’ve got to be careful talking to me because I pick up on everything.
Due to my fiercely transparent honesty, I have faced antisemitism and hateful harassment, which extended to death threats. This has been going on since May of last year, when Hamas chose to attack Israel from Gaza. People accused me of being part of a terrorist and apartheid regime. None of these things take place in Israel. It is the most diverse country in the entirety of the Middle East. Alas, new levels, new devils. 😒 It appears many people don’t realize they can be arrested and prosecuted for online hate speech and harassment, and can absolutely have charges pressed against them for death threats. Each threat can mean jail-time, so don’t feel comfortable hating on people publicly. Maybe take it down a hundred notches and read a book or something to distract yourself. Yes, I’m being hella sarcastic.
The threats were such that I took my About page down temporarily then, and again when things started up for a second time weeks ago. I have not seen a single person on WordPress state that any of this is wrong, or let me know where they stand on this subject. I have received zero solidarity from my fellow writers, except for those who are also Jewish. The silence is deafening. The excuses are absurd. Last time I checked, it was 2022. Stand for something or fuck off with your anti-racism bullshit, which is precisely what I said it is, BULLSHIT. It’s selective racism. It is a choice. Google it; I’ve written about it before.
For the past week, Whoopi Goldberg made headlines with some incredibly ignorant remarks regarding race and the Holocaust, resulting in a two-week suspension from The View. She’s worth sixty million dollars, has a distinctly Jewish surname which she chose to take on when her career began (“To get ahead, because Jews have more success in Hollywood.” Seriously?! That statement is untrue.), but she’s going to tell Jews the Holocaust was about white people versus white people, which basically states that racism only occurs between black and white people. She could not be further from the truth if she tried, and other comments she’s made are resurfacing, as well.
I’m kind of numb to the stupidity of this ignorance, especially as a lifelong fan who is genuinely ashamed of her. Let me be honest here; my black, Jewish, and Christian friends are calling for her to be fired. Others want her to be educated. Yad Vashem has reached out to her. The View itself is carrying on like nothing was said; which I find even more despicable. Is this the 2022 Jews have to face? I don’t fucking think so. I adamantly refuse. If you are going to speak about any subject that is sensitive and affects millions of people, at least do your homework before opening your mouth. Most especially when you are well aware of how much Jews have been singled out as targets with the past two years being the worst amounts of hate crimes against Jews since before the Holocaust. Let that sink in.
Cancel culture being what it is, I don’t want fake apologies. I want educated, intelligent, well thought-out apologies if you’re going to be that stupid. I’m baffled by the special treatment aspect of a two week suspension. Really? Two weeks where she is paid and can basically take a vacation? That’s her “punishment”? Not dissimilar to the way Nick Cannon was treated when he also made far more despicable remarks. He was fired, made amends, and was handed his job back. Let me be clear; there’s racism involved in both moves because if a blonde, blue-eyed Republican tore the Holocaust apart on national television, they would be fired immediately. There would be zero hesitation involved, so to hear ABC staffers questioning why she wasn’t fired; yes, there’s a double-standard. If I went on any kind of anti-tangent in an attempt to dictate my way of seeing things in such a manner, not only would I lose my reputation, but I’d be attacked far worse than that. So yes, it’s absolutely about racism at the end of the day, and it makes me ill.
Yeah, it was a heavy month. I am justifiably angry. As such, the social media break is necessary and I’m putting other things into priority status during said break. I’ll be around. I will write again, but I need some time. I feel like this is relatively self-explanatory. It isn’t black and white; this is the grey area.
copyright © 2022 by Lisa Marino & Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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If I tallied up all the funerals I have been to, it would be a percentage of over 99%. How many weddings have I been to? Three. Please don’t invite me to anything you don’t truly want me to attend.
Let me clarify that my own family has chosen to exclude me from every wedding, even my first cousins managed to exclude me. If ever I choose to get married, I can do so with less than ten people in attendance. My list currently stands at under ninety people, most of whom are friends of five years or longer; the kind you feel will happily stand up for you and those you will hopefully have for the remainder of your life. The person who stands by your side is ultimately far more important than the numbers, believe me.
Last Monday was a somber affair. I’d never attended a Catholic funeral before. I found is colder and unfeeling, but I suspect part of my newfound emotional detachment had a lot to do with how I viewed it. It’s not about religion, so much as it is about the state of a funeral while we are still actively dealing with Covid.
I know a Jewish funeral backward and forward. I can probably recite it by rote. If you have a good Rabbi, there is a very emotional, spiritual feeling in the air. Even my non-religious/spiritual friends have told me they feel like Jewish funerals are more involved/in touch. In essence, it makes sense I’d feel more connected there.
I remember my father’s funeral very clearly because I gave the eulogy. We are incredibly lucky to have an amazing Rabbi who deeply cares for our family, so even now, over a decade later, speaking to him is heartwarming. He will always leave you with a piece of wisdom, and I never forget his sparks or good deeds. He’s an innately good person. Prior to meeting him, I had never been able to connect with any man/woman of G-d. I found all of them so clinical and uncaring. He is the exception, not the rule.
Funerals are something I’m used to. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I get invited to more of them than any other thing in this world. While that is a strange thing to be invited to, I don’t feel like paying your respects is something you get invited to, or not. It’s something you do. Hopefully for the right reasons.
As the funeral was winding down, the “host” gave me a hug and told me I was a good person. I was taken aback by that statement. I wish more people said positive things through their pain, as opposed to those who shut everyone out. Yet, I did not feel the need to thank anyone who came to my father’s funeral or my mother’s. For me, showing up (if you are able) is a sign of respect. It is not your good deed.
Perhaps I am alone in these thoughts. Perhaps not. But unlike many, I try to show up and be present. I actually try harder than most. Even if it means being the only person who speaks and is fully present.
copyright ©2021 by Lisa Marino and Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
A few days ago, a Facebook group claiming to aid in eradicating anti-Semitism decided to start harassing me to an intolerable degree. For the past two years, which is how long they’ve run their page, they would immediately attack anything I said that interfered with their hateful “message”. They are trying to mask hatred under the guise of, “educating people”. It took a few minutes to realize they are malicious AF. Sometimes, it’s important to keep your eye on people like that. They are dangerous and spreading the wrong message. Hate ISN’T faith.
They are trying to malign my name, my work, and how I represent my portion of the Jewish community. They have gone as far as to tell me I can’t possibly be Jewish, as well as be multicultural. 🙄 DNA and genetics don’t lie. I KNOW who I am. I know where my ancestors come from. And I KNOW my faith/spirituality is different and may be confusing for those who aren’t open-minded. But it isn’t for anyone to judge. This is a (relatively) free country.
I have reported them to Facebook, taken screenshots of their harassment, and blocked them. They are still persisting in their harassment, and I feel forced to send them a cease and desist order. I don’t tolerate harassment because that’s when you cross a line. It isn’t acceptable.
Apparently, being honest in the community automatically labels you one thing or another, and they like to assume it’s all political. It isn’t. Honesty doesn’t automatically make you right or wrong, nor does it make you left or right. Sharing different opinions and views is part of being human.
Let me set things straight: I’m not a hateful person. I am direct. I KNOW my faults. I’ll apologize in a New York Minute if I’m wrong. There’s no shame in admitting you were incorrect, but there IS a problem with attacking a person, name-calling, and threats of physical, mental, or emotional harm towards another person’s friends and family. I don’t know who the fuck this person thinks they are, but they have NO CLUE about who I am am or what I stand for.
I am an established writer. It’s not a hobby; it’s my full-time job. Not all writers can say that. I’m genuinely blessed in this arena, and no one is going to fuck with that. My reputation speaks volumes. Being on the right side of history means being FAIR to others; not rabidly hateful.
Should you see something negative posted online with any reference to me, please take a screenshot and share it with me immediately. Legal action is a final effort, but they’re making it necessary.
Ultimately, I have decided to remove myself from all of these so-called “groups” claiming to be a “community”. That’s not what they are. They are supporting different levels of hate, and I’m the only person they’ve repeatedly singled out. Radical fundamentalism in ANY faith is taking things much further than necessary. I will be filing a police report locally. I refuse to be told I am lesser than other Jews, and attacked for the perception of ONE asshole.
In-fighting is disgusting. It’s the side most people don’t know about, or see, in Judaism, but I assure you it exists. I’m making it known in order to protect myself and my family.
Anti-Semitism ISN’T okay. Nor is harassment of someone who is a private citizen who you’re choosing to single out and demonize. Fuck that.
Since they feel safe behind their devices of choice, I am committed to putting them out of “business”. They are part of what’s wrong with the community at large. It’s time to remove that which is rotten to the core.
For the most part, Jews are thoughtful, kind, peaceful, supportive individuals. Most, not all. They are focused, hard-working, and many members of the community are brilliant in their fields of choice. I was primarily raised by two Jewish mothers; my mother and Grandmother. I was taught to excel, to listen, to be independent and kind, to compete in sports I loved, and to always be myself. My Grandmother wanted a silent, pretty, smart doll to show off to her friends. My mother wanted the fierce warrior she gave birth to. It would probably be easier for a lot of people if I was silent and pretty, with very few thoughts or opinions. <Shrugs> Sorry, Grandma, Mom ordered a dragon slayer.
I do not blame any sect of Judaism for the harassment I am experiencing. This is how the cookie crumbles, and it’s almost certainly coming from someone who is unhappy with their own life above anything else. I mean, who else would have to time to jump on someone every other second? Removing myself from the equation was the best thing I could do, and Facebook can deal with the rest, along with the police. Believe it or not, constant harassment and threats of harm, as well as blatant slander, are considered cyber crimes. Only a true moron thinks all of this is permitted under the first amendment. I’m not one hundred percent certain what country they are in, but it wouldn’t be my first C&D and may not be my last. Knowing the rules, and adhering to my own personal list of dos and do nots, is important to me. Having integrity and character is important.
Before you run your mouth on the Internet, make sure nothing you say can be misconstrued.
copyright © 2020 by Lisa Marino and Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
“People are going to come into your life, and God is going to use them to help you. To them you’re insignificant and don’t matter. They are not going to understand you, or even see the point of why God had you hang in there with them for so long. Remember this: Sometimes meeting someone has nothing to do with what you can provide for him or her and everything to do with what God needs you to recognize in that person. If you didn’t understand the message, God will keep sending the same person or situation into your life.” ―Shannon L. Alder
Only in Israel are three faiths represented without issue. Don’t let the media and/or the uninitiated allow you to believe lies.
“Gifts of grace come to all of us. But we must be ready to see and willing to receive these gifts. It will require a kind of sacrifice, the sacrifice of believing that, however painful our losses, life can still be good — good in a different way then before, but nevertheless, good. I will never recover from my loss and I will never get over missing the ones I’ve lost. But I still cherish life… I will always want the ones I lost back again. I long for them with all my soul. But I still celebrate the life I have found because they are gone. I have lost, but I have also gained. I lost the world I loved, but I gained a deeper awareness of grace. That grace has enabled me to clarify my purpose in life and rediscover the wonder of the present moment.” ―Jerry Sittser
Easier said than done, especially in light of all I’ve been through these past two months. I’m in full-time mourning. It’s not a good place to be, and I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.
If this is something you believe, allow me to educate you on the facts. And to correct all the incredibly misguided souls out there; Jews do not follow Jesus and we do not celebrate Christmas. If you know someone who does, they are either in an interfaith marriage or they’re not practicing either faith very closely.
“It is true that there is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, but intimately connected with love and forgiveness, faith and hope, that can fill our minds and hearts with positive energy- we can overcome head on, any obstacle or hardship we may encounter.” ―Angie Karan