Writing

Cannon Fodder

Miss Poison Cannon Fodder, Poison In Lethal Doses, Things That Enrage Me, Writing , , , , , , ,

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Cannon Fodder

Author’s Note: There is a huge difference between being judgmental and not accepting someone’s bullshit.

For my entire writing career, I’ve had a lot of hard & fast rules. A list of “don’ts”, per se. I’ve stuck to those rules, and I’ll continue to stick to the ones that are genuinely important (Zero plagiarism is Rule #1, obviously.). However, in lieu of my upcoming anniversary this Spring, I’ve decided to throw the majority of those additional rules out a metaphorical moving car window.

There is a time and a place for everything, both in daily life and with the written word, but lately people’s behavior is feeding me such rich material (It usually does.) and I’m tired of letting people slide on things. They don’t know they’re doing it, but they’ve unwittingly become cannon fodder. And so, I want people to know from here on in, if you want to remain on my good side, don’t be an asshole who says stupid, ignorant, foolish shit to me. Treat me the way you want to be treated, so I don’t have to write about it. If you don’t care what you say, how you behave, or you forget who you’re talking to, then you’ve merely proven my point; you’re asking to be cannon fodder, and fodder you shall be.

Two members of my family are expecting a baby this summer, a firstborn son. I immediately got a gift idea in my head and decided to design it myself. I knew they’d love it because it is 100% unique, completely tailored to their interests. I’m pretty crafty when I want to be and have an impeccable eye for detail. She (the person not directly related to me) then makes a comment on Facebook about how what she’s looking for is unavailable everywhere she has looked and that what she’s seen from people who craft is “subpar”. Excuse me?! People who craft are some exceptionally talented folk. I can drool over stuff on Etsy for hours; stuff I cannot for the love of G-d make on my own, and that is some incredibly talented craftsmanship through my varied interests and tastes. In turn, I found that comment immensely disrespectful. I can do it myself, and I guarantee it won’t be “subpar”. $80+ in materials for a custom-design that no sane person would ask for, and she’s got that kind of attitude? That’s not rude or anything. <rolls eyes>

I specifically told her NOT to order an item or purchase one, that the gift was intended to be a surprise for them. I then get a Facebook message from her letting me know how sweet that is, BUT “she wants everything to match the baby’s room”. A room that is obviously not painted, has no furniture in it, and is a completely empty canvas. Call me crazy, but you just bitched to everyone you know, including your mother and mother-in-law, about how you cannot find designs with your fucking dog on it. I am willing to do one that you could literally use for additional children, if you’re so blessed, and you’re being a bitch to me? A person who you haven’t even met. Real classy. <cue the snarkiest eye roll you’ve ever seen>

In the midst of her rudeness, she then asked when she & my cousin could visit me or if I wanted to meet them somewhere. I’m roughly 30 minutes away, depending on traffic. Her sudden interest is bizarre because I’ve been here for over a fucking year. My Hand to G-d, I nearly told her to go fuck herself. I was super-polite, and then short with her and dismissive. She’s too stupid to realize that my tone went from warm and accepting to 100 below zero. She cannot accept a beautiful gift with graciousness, like every other pregnant woman I know (People are telling her they’ll make baby blankets and other items for her, all of which she is completely accepting of, so yes, I have every right to feel that her behavior was completely rude and disrespectful.), so now I’m too tired to spend months making a mobile for the baby’s crib. She can register, like normal first-time mothers do, which I heavily implied she ought to consider doing, and I’ll decide whether or not she’s deserving of a gift or not when the time comes.

Despite having not bought the materials yet, I let her know I was annoyed, for which she apologized and claimed she was making my cousin and her mother “insane”. Yeah, I weep openly for her mother (Not at all.), but my cousin I truly feel sorry for. He has enough problems without her behaving like a spoiled brat. I don’t appreciate her attitude or disrespect. I’d love to tell him that, because he’s mostly got my back in a lot of ways, we have a very good relationship, but I know he’ll immediately repeat what I say to her, to his mother, etc., and thus, I will become “the bitch”. Not true, but it’s how that side of the family likes to twist things. They all think they’re perfect. That simply isn’t possible. No one on Earth is perfect.

Normally, I might skip the gift altogether because I will play no significant role in this child’s life, but I was invited to the baby’s Bris (six months in advance). I wasn’t particularly fond of the way the Facebook Messenger “invite” was worded, either. What is WRONG with people? Does everything have to be announced and discussed via social media?! Can’t you just mail an invitation like a normal person? Or a potential save-the-date? Seriously?! Yes, with a Bris there is a timing issue, eight days, but you don’t have to message me on Facebook, the land of the impersonal pretending to be personal.

For starters, I was asked to attend, but was also apologized to, “incase ritual circumcision is offensive to me”. I wish you all could have seen me reading the message. Why would ritual circumcision offend me? I’m as Jewish as they are. It might offend someone else, but to me, it is a natural part of having a boy with Jewish parents (Please save your opinions for yourself, I’m not having a discussion about whether or not to have a circumcision on your own son, or for you to go out and have it done as an adult! I’m explaining a situation, not debating religious beliefs.). The next statement was this winner: “I was afraid to tell people we’re having a boy because most people aren’t into the simcha, they just want free food.” What the fuck did you just say to me?! That comment 100% rubbed me the wrong way. I read it five times to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated or had a stroke.

#1- I’ve never gone to an event, be it a family function or otherwise, for the fucking food. Seriously, you cannot impress me on that level. I’ve given five stars restaurants a huge thumbs down.

#2- Unless you’re planning on having me cater the event, you don’t have to worry about people going into a food frenzy <Yes, I’m rolling my eyes, but I also mean it.>.

#3- Perhaps you should only invite your immediate family (of which I am not), close friends (of which I most certainly am not), and loved ones who attended your wedding ten years ago (Despite being family, I wasn’t on the guest list.).

I know if it were me, such ludicrous thoughts would not be in my head. I’d be ecstatic and want to share with loved ones, which is less than 20-25 people, so obviously I don’t have to worry about such psychotic things, like whether or not someone is attending for “free food”. The fact that it was said truly appalls me.

When was the last time I attended a Bris? When my cousin Seth came home from being adopted. Loosely translated: A long fucking time ago. I don’t feel a deep desire to attend this one, not with such attitudes in the air. However, if I am still living in this state, I will try to be present. Try being the operative word. Mostly because it’ll kill his mother to be in the same room with me. 😉

In truth, I will have to go based on how I feel that day. If I’m not feeling it, then I’m not going. I can send a gift with someone else or mail it. Believe me, my absence will not be noticed by anyone attending. I do NOT feel obligated to kill myself for unappreciative, rude people.

When you’re pregnant, there are more important things to be concerned with than baby bedding and preparing a room, especially when you’ve got an over-bearing mother, obscenely over-bearing mother-in-law, and a slew of psychotic relatives who will bend over backwards to help you. If you’re a first-time mother, the best thing to do is make sure you’ve got a portable crib in your room because that’s precisely where the baby will spend the majority of his or her time, especially if you are nursing. In fact, I told her “You have plenty of time.”, in my attempt to give her the chance not to be a bitch and calm her down a bit. However, the entire time I was trying not to say “Hey bitch, accept a gift with a thank you, like a normal person. You’re behaving like a spoiled brat.” How I stifled myself, I do not know.

Instead of asking about the design and maybe using it as the focal point for the room, which I gave her the opportunity to do for well over two weeks, she storm-rolled over me in her desire for “everything to match”. Babies can only see black & white for the first few months, so color is beyond them. I know many people go with shades of white and grey with little black details, and they do this for that very reason before introducing color. Plus, it’s easy to change the room over as they grow. Anyone who is doing color immediately is doing it for themselves. The baby is NOT going to be impressed. On this level, I know she is trying to compete with her sister-in-law, who recently had her second child, and who moved into a enormous mansion last summer. She doesn’t have those things, so she’s obsessing over unattainable “perfection”. I, however, don’t have to tolerate the nonsense.

My Goddaughter’s custom-made mobile was a HUGE hit when she was born in 2011. It still hangs in her room, not because it needs to be there any more (My G-d, she’s almost six!), but because it was a cherished, respected, appreciated gift. It was also an item no one thought to purchase or make out of all the people who did send gifts and visit, so the beautiful piece remains in tact. It plays music and she has always loved it. Score one for Aunt Lisa.

Gift-wise, I could still do the mobile and let her deal with it (Though I personally feel she’s undeserving of such beauty at this stage in the game. Especially since I have to apologize to the person who was making the dogs for me. Dogs based off of photos of their dog. Seriously, it’s a pretty damn thoughtful gift idea for people I’m not even remotely close to.), or I can wait until the baby is born and do something last-minute with zero personality. Normally I hate the last-minute thing, but in this case, maybe she’ll be less bitchy once she realizes that the most important thing in all this is not the perfect, matching nursery, but having a happy, healthy baby and a healthy, safe pregnancy.

Women have babies all over the world every single day. Not all of these babies survive. In turn, I feel she should focus on what’s truly important; delivering a healthy child into this world, as opposed to being an ungrateful bitch. Apparently she’s picking up on some of the uglier traits of her in-laws. That or she’s always been this way, I will never know for sure, and I refuse to allow people to make excuses for her behavior and how she spoke to me.

This is how she turned herself into cannon fodder. She won’t be the first and she certainly won’t be the last. And before you ask, she will likely never read this because her IQ is pretty close to a sock. Bless her heart. Moreover, I would not care if she did read this and cried because quite frankly, her rudeness will not be forgotten. If there’s one thing I don’t care for, it’s rude, attention-seeking little shits. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Hers resulted in over two thousand words. What does that say about her?
A lot, I’d say.

New rule #1? Piss me off, pay the consequences.

Stay tuned!

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Lethal Poison And The Scorpion

Miss Poison Being Real, Creativity, Evolution Of Language, Experience, Feelings, Honesty, January, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Read, Talent, Truth, Writers, Writing, Your Calling , , , , , , , , ,

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The title sounds slightly gruesome (I’m a writer who, up until a few weeks ago, was researching serial killers. Leave me alone, okay? LOL.), but it is merely a reference for people who’ve known me my entire career, or at the very least, a good enough chunk of it, and know what to expect from me.

It seems like only yesterday when I was first given the idea to write something immensely simple. After that, it was as if I’d been plugged in to something unique and special, and I certainly was. Back then, I didn’t know what it was precisely, or where it would lead, but the path less traveled has been both good, and not so good, to me.

A lot of people ask themselves “When do I get to call myself a writer?” or “When am I officially a writer?” First and foremost; there are many different types of writers. Some people write music, poetry, movie scripts. Some write books, plays, or simply share their thoughts in a creative way. When you do it and can’t stop doing it because you are driven by a genuine need to share your thoughts and acquire feedback, good or bad, then you, my friend, are a writer.

Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s important not to twist things; plenty of people “write” and aren’t true writers. It’s a fact. Many are published authors who I will not call out by name, but nevertheless, they’ve hit a lucky strike at the end of a rainbow because there is zero talent to what they’re doing. It’s published gibberish that would make any true writer cringe. I spend more days cringing when work is submitted to me for editing than I do enjoying the work of another writer. Sad, but true. Sometimes, no matter how strongly you guide someone, they simply cannot be a gifted storyteller. There’s no shame in that. I believe it is inherently within a person, or not. It is not something I will ever feel is taught.

Some people come at you, as a “writer”, from a different angle. Satire, humor, playfulness, honesty, anger. The list is never-ending. Choose an emotion and/or a genre and I assure you; someone, somewhere, is writing about it.

I’m told we all have our “gifts”, our niche, in life, and that it is through exploration and exploration alone that we stumble upon said gifts. But there are many people who are lucky; achieving a measure of success through connections, as opposed to genuine talent. Then there are those who are born with immense gifts they’re simply waiting to share with the world, gifts they are, too often, not aware of.

If my gift with the written and spoken word had not been encouraged, supported, applauded, then I might be doing something boring at this very moment; something I loathe with every fiber of my being.

I know far too many people who’ve been in the same job for twenty, thirty, or forty years and absolutely HATE what they do. I have my moments. I’ve never hesitated to discuss them openly and honestly, but my gift? No, I don’t regret it; not any of them.

I’ve spent the majority of my life being put down, shunned, laughed at, and/or insulted for being creatively talented, as opposed to a “follow the rules” type. I would rather live an authentic life, as opposed to one chosen for me by others. I would rather pick and choose my wealth of knowledge, as opposed to doing what is “expected”. That is precisely how one masters the art of being gifted with a talent.

I speak the way I write. I live the way I write. It’s one of the reasons people like and respect me. It’s one of the reasons I get feedback that doesn’t require anyone kissing my ass telling me how great I am. I don’t walk around trying to be anything I am not. In turn, I feel it helps the words be more clear for others. Because it’s honest; it’s easy to relate. I’ve had many people tell me when they could not relate to something I wrote or said, but they still respected the hell out of me for putting my thoughts out into the universe so boldly. I never looked at it the way they did, not until receiving that level of feedback. I was simply writing, and they were reading with their senses fully engaged. I call that mutual respect.

Several years ago I started shutting down certain aspects of myself that I was told were “wrong” or “needed work”. It turns out the people whispering lies in my ears were wrong. Very wrong. The only time I need to work on something is when I choose to work on it, and only then. I am fully entitled to my feelings, thoughts, unique point of view, and even more entitled to live my truth. It is more important to me to tell the true stories than it is for me to pretend.

Whispering lies to someone is a form of manipulative abuse. It’s a way of telling someone they’re not good enough in YOUR eyes, usually because YOU don’t like certain attributes they possess. Often because it makes you uncomfortable, or because you’re jealous you don’t possess the same level of strength. I’ve had people tell me they could NEVER be the kind of friend I am to others, and then turn around and tell me my friends wouldn’t love me if they had to live with me. That came from a former best friend, and it came from a place of jealousy because she couldn’t even be a solid best friend to ONE person, leave alone multiple people. She did not understand how crucial being a good friend is to the core of who I am, and so, a friendship I thought would always be present is a friendship no longer. Her choice. Her immense loss.

Most people don’t think I’m funny, which is perfectly okay. My friends and my brother find me HILARIOUS, and that’s because they get me. I don’t care if other people lack the ability to grasp my humor, because those that do are invaluable to me. Criticizing my sense of humor is only going to make me laugh at you, it isn’t going to poison my mind against my wacky, twisted humor. I have to live with me. I have to look in the mirror and be able to face that person day in and day out.

I wasn’t raised to worry about being liked or loved by others. I’m secure enough in myself to not need the approval of everyone around me. Sure, at least once a day it would be nice to not be insulted or told I’m wrong, or be accused of things I’ve never even thought of, leave alone committed, but that’s not MY issue and I’m not going to carry it with me any longer. I do, however, have to be true to myself.

So, Lethal Poison is back in business. This Scorpion may glow, but she’s not afraid to sting, either. You decide which side you’d like to be on. I’ll keep speaking the truth.

Vi veri universum vivus vic~ “By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.”

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

Full Snow Moon In Leo

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Tonight is The Full Snow Moon, so called because the last snows and frosts of winter will begin to appear around this time. The February Full Moon is also known as the Storm, Chaste, Quickening, or Hunger Moon. It is our wake-up call. During this time, all in nature is pure and full of potential. The hibernating creatures are beginning to slowly arouse themselves, quickening their heartbeats and creeping out of their dormant period. Mother Earth is gently awakening, full of new possibilities. The Snow Moon uses the same force upon us.

There is a gentle pulling upon our consciousness at this time. We become aroused to the latent forces within ourselves. Now is the time to turn the mirror in upon ourselves and see what is reflected. A time to grasp the buds of new paths and ideas and, much like nature, be prepared to welcome life anew.

February’s Full Moon is in Leo, the sign of ambition and creativity. You should feel a rush of energy and want to get things done. The Leo Full Moon’s message is to awaken your heart’s desires and act on your truth, figure out what it really is you want from life, then work out a bold plan in order to achieve it.

This Full Moon can be emotionally charged. Leo is larger than life. Leo rules big emotions. You may feel overly sensitive to the remarks and actions of other people, which may feel pretty intense. If you like things intense, you may well enjoy its spark and energy, but if you’re already feeling somewhat jaded and in need of a rest, it might be a good time to lie low and let the world pass you by for a little while rather than engaging too deeply with it.

The moon will be very bright tonight as it highlights our lives and shows us underneath the masks we all wear on a daily basis. This is a time to harness your inner power and strengths and look to the future, make plans, and be brave in your decisions. The cosmic message is to balance your heart with your head. Find the middle ground in your relationships. Live from your heart, yet, be practical in your approach to your dreams and goals. Plant the seeds of fate within ourselves and watch them develop over the coming months.

The best part of Leo is the inner child. You are to nourish and protect your childlike innocence. You are to be open to new ideas and fresh perspectives. Be curious about life. Be engaged in the magic of the moment. Be in your heart. Let go of the need to criticize and judge yourself and others, as this will kill your creativity. Instead allow yourself and others to make mistakes, it is the only way we learn what works and what does not work for us. There’s a sense of free spirited enjoyment, a faith in happy outcomes, and the ability to speak from love and the heart.

The Moon is plump with positive energy. There are no negative aspects to this Moon. This is a celebration Moon. Rewards for the hard work and intense striving will come to you.

Leo is a fire sign. Let the fire cleanse and heal you, and burn away any negativity. Mother Earth is transforming as we move from Winter into Spring, and will soon start to blossom and bloom. Let the earth transform you into a beautiful, new direction full of potential.

This is a time for personal growth and deep cleansing and gathering our strength for what’s to come.

Have a blessed Full Moon. May the Goddess watch over you.

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Written & photo credit: Wicca Teachings

Editing: Lisa Marino

 

Imbolc

Miss Poison February, Imbolc, Wicca, Writing , , , , ,

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Today is Imbolc, pronounced ‘im’olk. This is the first of eight Pagan holidays throughout the year called Sabbats. Imbolc is a time to acknowledge the First Spark of Spring, the embedded energies that have been sleeping over the winter.

The seeds that are underground acknowledge the returning energy and will begin to convert it to life deep within. Underground and unseen by man, they will start to make their way to the surface and break through the soil and begin to bud. Even though it is still the dead of winter and feels like winter in most places, the Sun’s energy has been returning ever since the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, Yule.

On Imbolc we celebrate the first days of Spring. Snowdrops and crocuses begin to appear, things become very spring-like with daffodils, daisies, and hyacinths coming early. Animals begin to wake from their winter hibernation. Nights get shorter and days will get longer. It will start to get warmer as winter snow and frost begin to thaw.

We celebrate the rebirth of the Goddess on Imbolc after she sacrificed herself on Yule to give birth to the Sun God. Both the God and Goddess are young. The Triple Goddess is in her maiden form and gains strength from the earth, while the Sun God will grow in strength over the coming months.

Imbolc is a Celtic fire festival, where in ancient times most towns and villages would build a ceremonial bonfire. The Goddess Brigid, the Goddess of fire, healing, and fertility is worshipped on this day. The lighting of fires celebrated the increasing power of the Sun.

Brigid was so much loved by the Celts that when the Christians were converting Pagans, they could not change the holiday of Imbolc, so the holiday was reformed and renamed to ‘Candlemas’ when candles are lit to remember the purification of the Virgin Mary, and they changed the Goddess Brigid into Saint Brigid.

Imbolc is the end of Winter and the beginning of Spring. To celebrate Imbolc light a fire. It may only be a very small one, and make wishes for the coming year into the flames. Burn any leftover evergreens that were decorating your home at Yule. Clean your home of clutter that gathered over Yuletide and get rid of the old and bring in the new.

Plant seeds for them to bloom in the Spring and Summer. Use a sage smudge stick to cleanse your home of stale or unwanted negative energies.

It was customary to make a Corn Dolly on Imbolc, this represents the Goddess, who will watch over you and your home throughout Spring and Summer. It is also traditional to make a Brigid Cross or Sun Cross on Imbolc, this is a cross woven traditionally from reeds, but can be made with anything such as wheat, straw, or paper and put around your home to bring luck and protection for the coming year. Fill your altar with lit candles and leave them to carefully burn through the day. Add any blooming flowers, such as daffodils or daisies, and anything yellow, orange, gold, or silver to honor the Sun God.

Imbolc is a time of contemplation, to think about the year that has past and the mistakes or successes we have had, and what we have learned from them to help us achieve our goals, dreams, and ambitions for the coming year. As well as planting seeds to grow in the earth, one should also plant seeds and ideas in your mind to grow and blossom over the coming months.

Have a blessed Imbolc.

May the God and Goddess watch over you.

Written credit: Wicca Teachings

Image copyright by Tal Gauthier

Edited by: Lisa Marino

American Values & Respect

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On the 26th of January, newly inaugurated “President Trump” (Which will remain in quotes because I cannot say it with a straight face.), gave a speech from Philadelphia. Living a handful of miles outside of Boston proper, this was “Breaking News”. I’m sure it was “Breaking News” all across this country, really.

I listened, but in truth, I felt like I was listening to someone’s lackluster phone conversation. You know, the kind you DO NOT want to hear while on line at the grocery store, but can’t help it because one person is yelling (usually because the owner of the phone has the sound up really high) and the other person is talking over them. It’s pure noise. Blah, blah, blah, blah. He talks for the sake of talking, because he likes the sound of his own voice.

My reaction to this was: “What in the hell did I just listen to?!” Yammering on and on about everything, but mostly nothing. Bragging about “winning Pennsylvania”, and winning in general. False claims, opinions, and ZERO facts. This from the current “Leader Of The Free World”. Oy gevalt!

Maybe you voted for him (Bless your heart.). Maybe you like him (You poor, deluded fool. Bless your heart.). Maybe you require your head to be examined or your dosage increased (I’m betting on both. G-d Bless you.). After all, you’re reading this and we don’t know each other. However, the man, and I use the term so loosely he should be able to hang himself with the rope I’ve given him, gives me a migraine. No wonder Melania wants to live in New York. Poor thing needs a break!

The next moment of “Breaking News” was one of the New England Patriots defensive captains, Dont’a Hightower, I believe, being interviewed in preparation for the Super Bowl on February 5th. Intelligent, poised, calm, well-spoken, educated, and eloquent young man. At that exact moment I said “Ladies & gentlemen; the NFL has their shit together and our “President” does not. What a buffoon! I’m not sure whether to emigrate out or put on my New England Patriots jacket!” (Which I’ve owned for over six years. The Patriots were always the second football team in my house growing up.)

Any representative of the United States should be poised, calm, and ready to speak with some semblance of intelligence, or at the very least, a damn good speech in hand. Stick to the facts, stick to the topic(s) at hand. Do not veer off course like you’re Hulk Hogan or The Rock. (Let’s face it, that analogy isn’t far off.)

People still make fun of George W. Bush for not being the best public speaker we’ve ever had as a President (He openly admits to this.), but post 9/11, the man had his shit together and was a rock for this country. He made me proud to be an American (I’m a registered Independent.). My brother & I drove around with “God Bless The U.S.A.” blaring from the car speakers for weeks (I will likely never listen to Lee Greenwood again, not intentionally, any way.). We were proud of how he handled a difficult time in this nation’s history. Say what you will about him; he did his best.

I didn’t care for Barack Obama, and it had nothing to do with race or anything petty. It was simply me not caring for another person, President or not. I didn’t wish horrible things on him, but I did feel he was too green to take on the role of President at the time. I simply let the eight years of him in office “float”, so to speak. I didn’t agree with a lot of his choices or decisions, and I don’t particularly like his wife either, but when push comes to shove, I feel he did his best. I feel they both did, despite disagreeing with a lot of their thoughts and beliefs, which is my right to do.

This Cheeto-colored buffoon, who is shades of Hitler, is an absolute embarrassment to us as a nation. I do not know how long his “Presidency” will last. I don’t foresee “President Pence” anytime soon, either. If he can screw up the entire state of Indiana, how could we allow him to step forward and screw up America more than Donald Trump plans to?!

So I sit here struck with the fact, and clear knowledge, that my current local professional football team has more class and poise than the “President”. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

The New England Patriots represent Boston, but technically, they represent all of New England within the National Football League. I applaud them for holding a press conference in which no bragging occurred, respect for all involved was evident, responses given to questions were polite, well thought out, and ego was taken out of the equation. I was thoroughly impressed, and that’s saying something.

We are a country born of immigrants (On my Dad’s side, I am second generation American.), and now there is a ban on Muslims entering the United States from a select list of countries, yet none of the countries Trump has business dealings with are on that list. This has nothing to do with terrorism, and everything to do with Hitleresque behavior. Who will this psycho come after next? We should all be concerned.

Here’s a fact; none of us are safe. I know people who can’t come and go from Canada now simply because of their faith and the origin of their passport. People who are here legally as students are being punished by a tyrant. Why do you think they go to school here? To escape tyranny in their birth countries and aim for a better life here, which is a dream for so many people from all over the world. Universities will be adversely affected by visiting professors and lecturers not being permitted into this country, people who pose NO THREAT to us, or they’d all be on watch lists!

At this moment, American values and basic respect have been tossed out the window. However, we do not have to be silent. We, as a country, do not have to become animals. We do not have to allow a “President” to make us fear for our lives.

I didn’t live in fear post 9/11, and I’m certainly not going to let this asshole make me fearful either. Yes, it’s easy for me to say that. I am not his current target, but I could be. We all could. So please, contact your local representatives and demand that they put their foot down on every political level known to man. Follow them on social media and let them know how you feel.

We can either band together, regardless of our political stances, or we can watch a nation be destroyed. Truly, it is up to us what happens, what we allow. I can neither confirm nor deny what I’d like to happen, but I will say that this country deserves better.

What kind of world will our children wake up to a week from now, or a year, with a reality television personality/businessman as “President”? What next? The Real Housewives franchise is going to take over Congressional hearings?! It’s ridiculous and silly, and I openly admit I watch a few of those shows. Are we going to have the Kardashians wrestle in Jello for his entertainment? I’d honestly like to know.

Ultimately, I think one needs to be completely sane in order to run the country. He has already proven himself unfit and deranged, not to mention dangerous. Is this who we want preaching “Make American Great Again”? I’d rather give the job to a well-trained monkey.

Someone please take away his unsecured phone (After his accusations against Hillary Clinton, he should be using a government-issued BlackBerry.) and block him from Twitter. No self-respecting President spends that much time tweeting like a thirteen year old girl! And for G-d’s sake, please hire a speech writer (and get him on medication for his obvious ADD.)!

Good luck to the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons at Super Bowl LI. I have no doubt you’re going to give people their money’s worth, respectfully.

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

New Moon In Aquarius

Miss Poison Aquarius, New Moon, Wicca, Writing , , , , ,
newmooninaquarius-2017
Tonight is the first New Moon of the year. A new moon, a new year, and a new you. This is the time to cast off 2016 once and for all and start our journey into 2017.

The January New Moon is one of the significant starting energies to the year ahead, and is going to help blow away the cobwebs of 2016.

As you have probably heard by now, 2016 was a year of endings, which means that 2017 is a year of new beginnings. This death and rebirth cycle is playing out in all of our lives in some way or another, and perhaps in the coming weeks you are going to start feeling the “rebirth” occurring. This rebirth energy won’t fully shift into gear until the Spring Equinox, however the January New Moon in Aquarius is definitely going to start setting the wheels in motion.

A new cycle is beginning for you. The Aquarius New Moon can empower you to move in a bold direction. You may break free from bad habits and relationships. You are no longer distracted by fear and doubt. You are ready to be who you were born to be. This is a time of great luck, so go out and try new things. Use this lucky time to grow businesses, start new jobs, go to interviews, find a new love. Often when things don’t feel good in our lives, we want to change everything all at once, but take small steps, just change one small thing at a time.

Our emotions will be high and confusing for the next few days, we may be feeling happy and overjoyed one minute, then sad and crying the next. You may have problems sleeping and you may have weird, vivid dreams. Our nerves may be on edge, and arguments and misunderstandings could flare up. But don’t worry, as this will pass soon. This is our body, mind, and spirit aligning.

If you start to see your challenges from a different perspective, you will see your challenges as opportunities for growth, they keep your life fresh and lively. Your life can be much freer than you may have realized. New opportunities will emerge. Believe in your dreams coming true. Believe when you wish upon a star. A star is probably shining on you right now. The New Moon is opening up a new pathway for you. Perhaps it was there all along and now your eyes are fully open.

This New Moon will strengthen the impact for change. It is setting the tone for the New Year. Don’t allow anything to hold back your dreams and desires. Listen to your intuition. We know intuition is your inner knowledge, so allow your Higher Self to guide you to new relationships and goals. Sudden unexpected opportunities can come to you from out of the blue at this time, seize them and make the most of any opportunity that comes your way.

There are new perspectives to be enjoyed now and this reminds us that no matter how far we may have strayed from where we want to be, we can always get back there as long as there is hope and the will to move and grow.

Aquarius is ruled by the element of Air, use the energy of this New Moon to allow the winds of change to come. 2017 is going to be an amazing and lucky year, so take this moment to enjoy the new vibration and the fresh start that this New Moon offers.

Have a Blessed New Moon and may the Goddess watch over you.

Written & photo credit goes to: Wicca Teachings
Edited by: Lisa Marino

 

Out Of Sorts, And Then Some…

Miss Poison Depression, Honesty, Life, Migraines, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Sadness, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
lonely-forgotten
Welcome to the life of the invisible girl…

I’d like to thank the two people who reached out to me with messages of encouragement, respect, and kindness after my last post about how horrible I am feeling (My feelings have only worsened.). Steven & Tasha; your words genuinely helped me and, from the bottom of my heart, they meant the world to me. Thank you both SO much. I don’t even have the words for how touched I am.

As for the rest of the world; I’m not really feeling people too much these days. Granted, I am not a people person on a good day, but it would certainly be nice if some people were more aware of their words, behavior, and attitudes towards me. I’m sick of being told how I am speaking, how I sound, how I’m behaving, etc., because I’m well-aware of my intent when I’m being human. If you don’t know my tones, then you don’t know how I’m speaking, how I sound, or precisely how I am behaving. I’m not two, and I don’t require psycho-analysis by people who really ought to save that for those who need it. You’ll only piss me off, and at the moment, I’d shy away from that if at all possible.

I believe that life, and people, has/have highs and lows, but what do you do when you’re stuck on LOW and don’t know how to rise, and cannot find a reason why you should? I’m hardwired to get up each morning, feed Cat and Kitten, sometimes feed myself, but of late, I’m so physically, mentally, and emotionally drained that I don’t know how to do it any more. “It” being “anything”.

I adopted Cat and Kitten to help keep myself alive. Cat was a foster from a kill shelter, so I felt like by rescuing her, I was saving my life, along with hers. Win-win. Kitten is from a no-kill shelter; and I love to support no-kill shelters because they’re crucial to the survival of so many animal’s lives. Unlike Cat, who has divided love/loyalties (I’d like to say she has a big heart, but I’m genuinely not sure she even likes me most of the time.), Kitten is my faithful companion. Even when I move her off of my blanket at three in the morning so I can get comfortable or grab a few hours of sleep, she forgives me in minutes. Cat holds a grudge if I move her or rearrange her on the bed. In fact, as I am typing this Kitten is making little sounds in her sleep and giving me her belly, instinctively knowing that I am by her side. She is named in honor of my original Tortoiseshell. I’ve noticed over the past two years that she is basically a gift from her; a true companion sent to go through life with me. She’s not a “replacement cat”, she’s a piece of my original cat that I know in my heart was sent to me. But lately, caring for both of them each day has been physically and emotionally taxing.

I have reached out to organizations to try to get emergency help in order to feel better, but after applying for insurance MONTHS ago (which should be underlined ten times), I still haven’t been approved, nor have I received anything in writing from them, which they’ve repeatedly promised each time I’ve called. The answer I’ve gotten is “You’re in the system. You should hear from us in approximately 2-3 weeks by mail.”, before I’ve been hung up on! There’s a reason they call them Massholes, and it’s NOT because they’re all perfectly well-mannered (a small percentage, yes. The rest? Not so much.). I believe they had roughly 30-45 days to approve or deny me from day one, and that I’d then have a period of time to appeal, if denied, but at this moment I feel like I’m stuck at square one. In turn, after giving them one final call this coming week, I am reapplying. I’m utterly tired of the bullshit, because this is clearly a runaround, so I am going to fill out the application they deigned to send me (I have my original documents from last year, all I have to do is insert the same answers), attach copies proving that I’m a legal citizen with a bank account, and fax it instead of mailing it. That way, I’ve confirmed receipt of the documents and won’t feel jerked around, as I have clearly been for all these months. I’m sick of paying for medication out-of-pocket when that $20-$35 (it ranges based on the discounts I’m able to find) could feed me, or my cats. Overall, I’m sick of the struggle of trying to live, and failing miserably. I need to be able to see doctors without cringing over out-of-pocket costs that frankly, I can’t do.

Everyone’s definition of “failure” is different. Not being able to take care of what is most important in my life; that is true failure to me. Not being able to protect my loved ones and keep them safe; that is failure. Thankfully, I care, I am emotionally present, and I’m not a vile human-being, so on that front, I am NOT a failure. I’d hate to be a heartless, cruel individual who only cared about herself. Thankfully, I was raised by two wonderful women (My mother and Grandmother) and selfishness wasn’t a part of their make-up, so it isn’t a part of mine. I miss them both more than words can say. Everything feels like yesterday in terms of loss; at least for me.

This evening I merely want to survive the mind-numbing migraine that exploded on me this afternoon in the grocery store, to the point where I had to run to the ladies room to be sick. 😦 That has never happened to me in public before (except after having blood work done, and that was one time), but after that I quickly made my way to the register and went outside for some fresh air, despite the fact that it was indeed freezing and took over forty-five  minutes before I could feel my ears again. The smells inside the store were making me violently ill and the noise wasn’t much better. This afternoon I indulged in silence, darkness, and a nap, but it only made the migraine that much worse. At the moment, I am praying that three ibuprofen will kick in, along with caffeinated tea I’ve been nursing since three o’clock this afternoon. Some people need coffee to feel human; I need strong Earl Grey with real sugar.

This week and this weekend, I am definitely out of sorts, but don’t worry… I’ll be back soon with something I’ve been dying to write, but have kept under wraps for years. No more. The Beast Is Back.

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

welivein

Full Wolf Moon In Cancer

Miss Poison Cancer, Full Wolf Moon, January, Wicca, Writing , , , , , , , ,

fullwolfmoon2017

Tonight will be the first Full Moon of the year. It is called the Wolf Moon because at this time, hungry wolves would howl up to the big, bright January Moon outside towns and villages. It is also called the Cold Moon, Winter Moon, and the Old Moon.

The word January comes from the Roman name for this month. It was named after the God Janus, the God with two faces. This was the God of the past and future, beginnings and endings.

This Moon is a time of protection and strength for guarding ourselves. While it is the first Full Moon of the calendar year, in terms of nature it occurs in the middle of the cold winter, a season of death and desolation. In this respect, the Wolf Moon can be seen as a time of both beginnings and endings. We have said goodbye to the old year and are now looking toward the new year in front of us.

This is not a light and casual Full Moon. It is kicking off 2017 in a big way, with its prime focus on what needs to shift, change, transform, end, and be released in our lives. We can use this Full Moon to gain clarity on where we are holding on and what we need to let go of.

This Full Moon is in the sign of Cancer, which will give us great strength and courage to meet any new challenges coming our way.

This can be a loony, lunar peak. Standby for moments of irrationality or lashing out. Your emotions will be on high alert for a while so watch what you say to people in heated moments. Try to find some time to relax and calm down and to soothe frayed nerves. It may feel hard to make decisions at the moment, you may feel you’re being pulled in all directions, and are not sure which way to turn. Try to stay calm, and the right decisions will come to you.

The Cancer Moon is reminding you to use your feelings to guide your life. What you think and feel matters. Feelings are your indicators in every moment. Feelings don’t lie. Feelings are never right or wrong. Feelings are the best part of you. Your power lies in what you do with your feelings. Watch out for mental obsession; when we worry we focus on what we do not want. Wherever your mind goes, energy follows. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you do not want to happen.

This Full Moon asks us to make a decision, we will feel at a crossroads; to stay with the old, familiar or to move into the unknown of something new. Try not to go to extremes, it is all about keeping balance. The waters of Cancer may seem stormy now, but they will calm and you will feel clarity and see everything for what it is. This may bring up crisis points, but also the potential for major realization. Breakthrough moments and inner or outer shifts in our personal lives, relationships, home/family situations, and career or life purpose.

We are looking at big changes coming this year, steer the changes in a positive direction. open yourself up and allow love, support, and happiness to enter you life.

Use the water element aspect of Cancer to wash away the old, stuck, negative energy and cleanse your spirit, allowing the waves of energy to heal you, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes, like a phoenix you have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise from the ashes a stronger and wiser you.

Have a blessed Full Moon, and may the Goddess watch over you.

Written credit goes to: Various

Photo Credit: Wicca Teachings

Edited by: Lisa Marino

The Ledge

Miss Poison Depression, Feelings, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, January, Life, Mental Health, Mondays, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing , , , , , , , , , , ,

fibromyalgia2

I’m on the verge of letting go today. There’s no way to pretty it up or sugar-coat the amount of pain I am in, both physically and emotionally. I’ve had enough. Reached the boiling point. Feel as though I am trapped in a maze of never-ending bullshit, and I cannot take another second of this.

Over the past two days I’ve accessed my life and come to this conclusion: apart from my responsibilities and loyalties; my life is meaningless. Well, and truly, meaningless. If I were bleeding on the rug, someone would attend to the stain, but they wouldn’t even notice that a body was present. That’s the truth, whether some people are willing to believe it or not, or admit to it. I’ve witnessed too much to feel or believe otherwise.

I have been in a bad place for so many months now and not a single person has so much as noticed. The selfishness in my presence knows no bounds. There’s zero warmth, care, concern, or love present. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.

I’ve been in tears on and off for almost three days. No one has noticed, said a word to me, asked me if they could help, NOTHING. This is what it feels like to be “the invisible girl”.

While preparing a salad Saturday afternoon, I banged my right hip into the handle for the drawer next to me. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it hurt as if I’d just had the bone yanked out of its socket. I actually bit back 95% of what I truly felt physically in that moment, but I was admonished for being “dramatic”. Please, feel this pain for a week and then tell me how “dramatic” I’m being. Clearly, you don’t know true pain.

I am genuinely experiencing the whole “Princess & The Pea” phenomenon, which is not uncommon when you suffer from an autoimmune disorder that revolves around pain. This particular issue is killing me. I can feel every spring in a mattress in such a painful fashion that I want to hurl it out a window. I “wake up” each morning in stiff, agony. Nine out of ten nights, I haven’t truly slept, I’ve simply given up and taken to lying still, in tears, praying for the pain to stop.

I’ve taken over a hundred Aleve in the past month in the hopes that it will provide some small measure of relief, but it never does. I’ve also taken nearly an entire bottle of Ibuprofen because every flare-up makes me feel like an anti-inflammatory MIGHT help “this time”. The pain is maddening, and constant. I hurt so badly each day that I contemplate walking into the middle of traffic, not caring if I get hit or not. My only issue there is that I’d likely survive and remain in worse pain, if that’s even possible. I don’t want to know, I just want this to stop.

I struggle each day to cope with the pain, with my emotions, with stress, but most of all, the pure isolation and loneliness I am forced to carry with me, because I truly am “the invisible girl”.

When I can’t do laundry, take a shower, and do five other things in the same day, I sit here in tears over the loss of life I am experiencing. I have to set alarm clocks and timers to remind me to do things, or they will never get done. I fall at least once a week. No matter how careful I am, the pain brings me to my knees.

Occasionally, I feel okay. But here, in this moment, I’d gladly take death over this agony. Just make sure Cat and Kitten are adopted into loving homes. Cat is aggressive and a bully, so I think she’d do better in a single-cat home at this stage of her life. Kitten is a sweet little angel who loves her Mommy, but doesn’t understand why I have no energy to play and run around with her. Alas, I can’t explain these things to them. All I can do is pray for better days; just not today. Today is Hell and I am burning alive.

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.