Nightmares In Editing

2015-05-142015-05-14 Miss Poison Editing, Editors, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Write, Writer, Writers, Writing Beta Readers, Clean Manuscripts, Dictionary, Dirty Manuscripts, Editing, Encouragement, Grammar, Language, Punctuation, Spelling, Support, Thesaurus, Words, Work, Writers, Writing

I am an immense fan of what I call the “clean manuscript”. That means the manuscript doesn’t require me to do any of the following: Lose hair. Attempt to remove my eyeballs with a fork or melon baller. Grind my teeth. Slouch over my laptop in sheer disgust. And those are just a few of my reactions to having to work on the dreaded “dirty manuscript”. Clean manuscripts allow me to do my job properly, efficiently, and the result is always a pleased client, which is what both client and editor should desire as the end result.

The cleaner the manuscript, the quicker it will be returned to you. I am happy to correct all minor things I catch, all major things, and provide you with extensive notes regarding readability, plot, etc. It’s my job, and I do it well. The reason I loathe the “dirty manuscript” is because it requires months of attention. Most people have never re-read their original manuscript, they just turn it over to me and expect me to make it readable and sellable. I’m good, but I am not a miracle worker. If you give me a manuscript that requires rewrites, revisions, and overhauls, the blame does not reside with me. In fact, I don’t see why there needs to be blame at all. It is what it is. I cannot polish something that isn’t a diamond in the rough, or even a high quality gemstone.

The best way to get the right results in the editing process is as follows:

A- Work your story, and write it well. Outlining helps for some, and distracts others. Do what works for you. Everyone is different in this respect, and that’s okay.

B- Always use proper spelling and grammar. Do not use slang. When in doubt, use a thesaurus and/or a dictionary. They will be incredibly helpful tools for you at all times.

C- It is NOT beneath me to remind you that “alright” is NOT a word. Every time someone tells me they’re a writer and they use words like “alright” or “anyways”, I die a little inside.

D- I hate over-use of any particular word, especially in the same sentence or paragraph. If I see it twice in the same sentence to describe something or someone, I’m cutting it. I will tell you in my notes precisely why I cut it and correct you when you do it again and again.

E- Be open to any and all legitimate suggestions from your editor. After all, a good editor wants you to succeed.

Many writers struggle with spelling, proper tense, punctuation, remaining in one point of view at a time, and grammar. These are things I take note of and assist with. I always double-check spelling for the country of origin, or the country in which the author is seeking publication. American English is different from British English, which is also used in a vast majority of countries far away from the U.K. Some people request I edit in American English and others request British English. I’m good with both, but I do suggest that a person have two separate copies when they are looking for representation with agents more than one market.

When in doubt of how good or interesting your work may or may not be, hire a beta reader. You do not want friends, family, or the lady down the street to tell you how fabulous your work is before it has even seen an editor, but you DO need someone who will tell you the absolute truth and has no vested interest in your work.

Many people report how much others loved their story (read: family and friends), and then I read it and shake my head in disbelief because it’s as if someone spit random thoughts onto a page, as opposed to being a cohesive story that one can follow without suspecting they’ve lost their mind. You might very well be able to find someone willing to beta read for free, but I believe in paying someone who has absolutely no connection to you whatsoever. You’re paying for a critic, and their overall opinion. You can be specific with them about what their role is. It should cost under $50-$60, and is generally less than half that, depending on the person’s experience. I have seen people hire as many as ten beta readers and as few as one. It is a relatively small investment to help you better yourself as a writer and it helps you produce a better product overall.

Some people think it’s insane to seek out a beta or three, but I have had many authors publish work and then come to me later on to ask me to beta a new project, saying they wish they had done that with their first body of work, or their second, but that now that they know more about writing, they don’t see how people can simply go to friends and family. They’ve grown as writers and want to produce a better product. I agree with them, and applaud their candor.

I do plenty of beta work. I’m extremely honest when I do it for people because I know how hard it is to get the truth out of others when it pertains to something so close to your heart. I have been lucky to always have people tell me the truth. No one has ever kissed my ass in regard to anything, leave alone my work.

Your immediate instinct might be to listen to the praise you receive and run with it, but I’d listen for the constructive criticism and the person who is honest enough to point out the flaws and give you detailed feedback. Ultimately you can take opinions with a grain of salt and a shovel full of sand, but this is a crucial step. Some people prefer alpha readers who read chapters as they are completed. I have done that for people, usually reading one chapter at a time or a dozen chapters at a time, but I prefer to beta because I don’t end up feeling like I am somehow missing some huge portion of the story that will eventually be written. I also prefer material that isn’t raw. Plus, I think it’s good to encourage new writers to complete their projects and push them in the right direction in regard to their strengths. Not only is it good karma, it’s also genuine. There is room for everyone in the community. You are not going to be perceived as my competition because the only person I have to compete against is myself. It’s my job to write what I write and write it well, just as it is your job to do the same with your work.

Writers who believe they can edit their own work because they don’t want to pay someone is one of the saddest things I see. Not that long ago a friend sent me a copy of her completed book. I was, and still am, happy for her, but I didn’t have time to read it right away. I remember reading a few pages initially and then not being able to pick it up again for a while because I was busy. Late one night, when I was unable to sleep, I decided to give it a shot. I became slightly engrossed and then reached a portion of the story that annoyed me beyond words. She’d taken a conversation we’d had years ago and used it as an idea in her story. Initially, I was LIVID. Then, the more I thought about it, I decided that she probably didn’t recall the conversation, or who she’d had it with, and had simply logged the idea in her head. I really don’t think she had any malicious intent behind it, because if she did, then why send it to me if she knew I’d see what she wrote and flip out on her? It’s not even worth bringing up, so I have chosen not to mention it when I do give her feedback on it. However, my point in all this is that she didn’t pay for an editor, she had friends beta and edit for her, and so while I was reading, I found spots where the entire thing needs to be corrected and revised. Luckily, the mistakes are minor and only a very discerning eye would notice them, but I saw them and winced because I know this book is important to her.

I had a potential client tell me she couldn’t afford me. Okay. I went so far as to offer her a reduced rate and she still insisted that I was too high (publicly she told others I had the BEST prices). Freelance editors normally charge between $1000-$5000 for their services. My rate was significantly lower, but I reached a point in dealing with her where I said to myself “I am NOT going to price myself any lower simply to get a client. I work hard, this is not a game, and I have bills to pay, just like anyone else.” She, and many others, believe they can “do it themselves”. These are the very same people who want free advice from someone with experience and don’t listen to a word you say, because they’re convinced they know it all, which is the height of ignorance.

I don’t know it all, but I have the experience. I’m not perfect, but I’m open to learning. By proxy, we should all be learning something new each day.

Some days I write. Some days I edit. Some days I cannot get out of bed. And yet, I’ve never submitted anything that might make someone want to tear their eyes out. I suspect it comes from having excellent English teachers and from not having any one, ever, gloss my work over.

I’m grateful to those who helped me perfect my voice and even more grateful to those who encouraged it. It’s one of those things that helps me spot all the diamonds and gems that might never see the light of day without the proper encouragement.

Beltane Blessings To All

2015-05-012015-05-01 Miss Poison Beltane, Blessings, Editing, Emotions, Fibromyalgia, Fridays, Life, Loss, May, Migraines, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing Beltane, Hockey, Loss, Loved Ones, May, Migraines, Musings, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

Beltane Blessings everyone! 🙂 I wish I were able to enjoy this holiday as I once did, but seeing as how it is the anniversary of a loved ones’ death, it’s still a bitter pill to swallow. Tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of the death of a beloved cat, so I’ve decided to take it easy this weekend and do my best to decompress. This week has already been stressful to the point of severe darkness.

I am still trying hard to focus on the manuscript I’m working on. You KNOW you have flipped over to the dark side of OCD when you find something wrong with your own work every single time you open the file. I keep making changes and then I have to remind myself that revisions will be made by the author, and it will be edited a final time. So, I need to push forward and let some, if not all, of the nagging in my brain go. I can’t really afford to rip any hair out of my head. Short hair, on me, is not a good look.

If you’re going to the movies this weekend, please let me know how the new Avengers movie is. I am really looking forward to seeing it. Unfortunately, I’ll have to get it on DVD because I simply do not have the time now for a movie or anything even remotely social on an external level. It’s quite sad, really, but I suspect it will be quite a while before I am able to focus on my social life, or even mild entertainment. For now, my DVR is difficult enough.

Last night I watched my team lose Game 1 (I’m going to hunt Henrik Lundqvist down and have a little chat with him about his idea of goaltending. I didn’t have time last night to threaten to beat him with his own stick when he allowed the Caps to win with 1 second left on the clock!! I’d rather sit through overtime than have my team lose at home. UGH!) of the second round of the playoffs, flipped over to The Blacklist, and then went to bed. That means there’s approximately 8-9 hours of “How much do I WATCH?!” on my DVR. If you saw the queue, you’d think I had absolutely no brain cells OR a lot of free time on my hands. I have all of my brain cells, that I’m aware of, and damn near no free time on my hands. If I had free time, I’d use it to murder my neighbor across the street who is currently mowing his lawn for the third time this week. The first two times were while I was trying not to cave my own skull in from migraines. Each time he saw another neighbor mowing within a 1-3 house range, which automatically spurred him to come out and proceed to mow, trim, and be a pain in the ass. I suspect now he is trying to make it even shorter than it was two days ago, before we get rain. Either the man is incredibly bored to be mowing in 50 degree weather OR he needs a hobby. I’m thinking it’s a combination of both. No one needs to mow their lawn that often. This is NOT a golf course or Yankee Stadium, nor is it a football field with real grass on it. Unless you’ve somehow managed to use 10-30 bottles of Miracle-Gro in a matter of days, you don’t need to be out there every few days mowing the same patch of grass over and over again. It’s borderline psychotic. (Plus, every time I sneeze from the smell of cut grass wafting in, which drives me allergies insane, my kitten mimics the sound with a meowish squeak. She feels my pain.) The fact that another neighbor across the street just joined in on this madness makes me feel like I’m listening to a dentist’s drill on a loop.

When you suffer from migraines, you become incredibly sensitive to noise. I rarely mind good music (I said GOOD.) and I can tolerate certain things at an extremely low level, but everything else is just a great big NO and has been for almost 18 years. My migraines have progressively gotten worse, so I’m extremely audio-sensitive and equally photosensitive. For me, the latter is far easier to manage most days, but especially on dark, grey days like today.

Okay peeps, I am going back to work, or at the very least, I am going to try. Enjoy your day and have an awesome weekend. 🙂

Lisa’s Unwritten Rules #1

2015-04-152015-04-15 Miss Poison Editing, Honesty, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writers, Writing Brutal Honesty, Courtesy, Editing, Editors, Musings, Outrageous Expectations, Rules, Work, Writers, Writing

I have a very long list of ‘Unwritten Rules’. Most of them pertain to manners and common decency, but the rest, in my opinion, center around basic common sense.

If you’re a writer and you’re in need of an editor, PLEASE do not expect me to work for free. I cannot tolerate being approached for developmental editing, which is extremely time-consuming, only to be told “I have no budget”. Okay, I get that. Which is precisely why I let people contract me out via a payment plan. It’s so easy, you’d have to be a moron not to be able to follow it. If you would buy things on a credit card that you have to pay off monthly, then look at editing as a much more important investment in your future. If you have it done right, you never have to spend additional funds to have it re-done after it’s published and you suddenly find it riddled with unimaginable, not to mention embarrassing, errors.

Very few editors with experience are “inexpensive”. If I charged by the hour, no one would be able to afford me, so I charge based on the type of editing needed. If someone wants a flyer done, that’s not expensive. If you need an editor to critique or simply proofread, again, that’s really not expensive. But a book manuscript? If it were “cheap”, I wouldn’t hire me, I’d run for the hills! I go so far as to hold a spot for you in my schedule if you say “I will need you by a specific date.” The payment plans work out for me too because they help pay my bills and like everyone else, you cannot ignore a mortgage, rent, utilities, the cost of food, etc. They’re basic facts of life.

I am flat-out DONE working for peanuts. Been there, done that. I’m NOT going in reverse. I’m not a teenager or college student who needs to pad her resume or gain experience. Do not bring me a 100,000+ word, 300+ page manuscript and expect that to cost a few dollars to edit, or that I’ll listen to the story of how you desperately want to succeed, but cannot pay me. I can only do so many random acts of kindness before I start feeling like a moron.

It’s perfectly okay to say I don’t fit into your budget and look elsewhere for someone who is ~~stupid enough to work for nothing~~ going to take the job, but don’t disrespect me and then expect us to be “friends”. If you think a monkey can do the edit, then by all means, hire the fucking monkey.

I am one of the easiest people to have edit your work. I am highly communicative, I fact check, I make sure your work is going to grow and be solid down the road. I do a LOT and I’m always available to you. I came up with the idea of payment plans because many people have budgets and I understand that. Not every editor is okay with that though. I know many that ask for the entire amount up front (this could be several hundred dollars or several thousand, depending on how they price things. In-house editors make all of us look inexpensive as freelancers.), or, like me, a percentage to take the job and the rest by the time the manuscript is finished. That’s not an unfair request, especially if I’ve never worked with you before. I do a lot of first edits and final edits for people. When I give someone a price I have to factor in that I proofread it several times, provide extensive notes, and all the other things I previously mentioned. I also have to factor in that I often do research for certain clients. It doesn’t take two days. You have to respect that you’re hiring someone for their talent and ability, and that they’re taking the time to help you become a better writer. You get what you pay for, but many of my clients are astounded by what I have to go through simply to be paid like a human being. When it insults them, it reaffirms that my prices aren’t unreasonable.

When looking for an editor, look at the character of the person. I’ve had many people tell me they got a friend to help them, but that the friend “didn’t push them to be better”. As someone who strives daily to be better, I understand the need for a fresh set of eyes and someone who will be honest with you. I’m going to point out plot holes and other issues, that way when you re-write it, you know what your strengths and weaknesses are. If it were my work, no matter how much editing I’d done on my own, I’d STILL require an editor myself because I’d need someone who could be detached and push me to be greater. That’s one part of the artistry of being a good writer. Knowing when to detach and allow someone to further along your talents.

NEVER expect that person to A) Do it for free or B) Not have bills to pay. Courtesy and respect begets courtesy and respect. And if ever you don’t mesh well with an editor, do not be afraid to move on to someone else who might be the perfect fit.

Rant over.

Sleep Interrupted

2015-04-032015-04-03 Miss Poison Chronic Pain, Editing, Family, Fibromyalgia, Fridays, Honesty, Life, Loss, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing Chronic Pain, Easter, Fibromyalgia, Good Friday, Holiday Weekends, Honesty, Musings, Passover, Pieces, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

I was in bed last night right after The Blacklist ended (If you don’t watch this show, you should. I never intended for it to become something I watch, but the pilot had me hooked from day one.). I flew up the steps, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and after double-checking cat bowls, got into bed. I slept well, until about 5:30 when I started smelling coffee. You know what that means, right?

Just yesterday I told Him “Do not touch my non-dairy creamer. I need it for my tea.” I made threats, none of which were nice, all of which were serious. I take tea time very seriously. When you drink 3-5 cups of tea a day, it’s clearly something you enjoy. I like mine a certain way and plain is not on that list.

I went downstairs in search of the smell, but He was in hiding, and rightly so. When I find him, it won’t be pretty. I fed cat and kitten and stomped back up the steps, furious, but still in need of additional beauty sleep. I was able to get a little more sleep, and have been awake ever since. He is going out later and replacing my creamer because I am not pleased that I can’t have tea until it arrives. Bastard.

This morning, waking up was not what I had in mind at all. It feels like a Saturday, perhaps because it is deathly quiet out. Apparently the kids are not in school this week, which makes no sense to me since Passover is next week and I don’t know how prudent it is for them to have two weeks off, but whatever. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I’m stressed and I HURT. The weather keeps going back and forth between the 20’s and the 60’s, and while it is utterly beautiful to have milder temperatures, even if it’s a rainy day, it still messes with my body.

I have no plans this holiday weekend. Technically, Passover begins tonight at sundown. My family is scattered across the States and overseas, so I’m not attending any seders, nor was I invited to any. I will keep editing this manuscript so that I can move on to the others she has in store for me, and watch The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. I’m trying to make tentative plans for tomorrow, just to be able to enjoy the day for a few hours out of doors, but nothing is etched in stone. If I’m feeling up to it, maybe I’ll just take a long walk.

As I’ve said before, the holidays are lonely. I miss my parents and Grandparents terribly. Loss often feels like it happened yesterday, but the years come and go and life moves on, even if the pain of each loss remains with you. I find myself astounded by people who never seem to be affected by the loss of a loved one, who return to work immediately, who never discuss the person again, etc. Are people really that cold and detached, or is that the “coping mechanism” utilized by most people? What is your take on that?

Regardless of what you celebrate, I wish you a wonderful holiday filled with family, friends, laughter, joy, and peace. Me? I just want my tea. LOL.

In Some Situations

2015-02-18 Miss Poison Creativity, Editing, Editors, Health, Inspiration, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writer, Writers, Writing Creativity, Editing, Health, Inspiration, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Talent, The Creative Mind, The Creative Voice, Work, Writers, Writing

In some situations, you are the problem. In others, you are the problem solver. In the last week, I have been both the problem and the problem solver, but I’m proud of myself because I found a way around the problems and managed to solve them without losing my cool, yelling, screaming, or “unleashing the beast”.

It’s no secret that I have a temper. Push me and I will push back so hard, you’ll be in another country before you know what hit you. Over the last few years, I’ve worked really hard to dial back the temper and be a less anger-based person. So far, so good.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel and certain situations and people call for anger, but the day-to-day stuff does not. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” couldn’t be a more true statement or wiser advice. However, there’s a time and a place for every thing.

This past week I’ve struggled with my health, with work, and with things in my personal life. I’m concerned about my health, but all I can do is pray for the best and handle things as they come my way. Work, by comparison, is uncomplicated. I find it interesting how very specific projects land in my lap, and they’re 100% in my wheelhouse. It just goes to show you that the right people find you at precisely the right time. I truly have no explanation for all the batshit crazy people, but that’s life. There’s no true rhyme or reason, it simply is what it is.

I’d like to thank all of the new followers that have come on board over the last few weeks. It’s so lovely to see readership grow in a positive way. 🙂 I also have to thank those of you following on Twitter. Feel free to follow and let me know what else you’d like to see here.

For now, all I can say with certainty is that stress and snow are causing me to not sleep well. Every night I have intentions of being in bed at 9:00 PM. Thus far, that’s just not working out and it’s driving me insane. Generally writers and insomnia go hand in hand, but because it screws up my days so badly, I am hoping this stops really soon. I’d rather write and edit all day as opposed to finally be hitting the pillow as the sun is rising. It’s not healthy and it’s disrupting so much that days just seem to blend into one another. I hope this coming weekend will be a breakthrough for me. Even if that breakthrough means I have to take a few sleeping pills to re-set my internal clock, I’m willing to do it. I simply cannot go on like this, it’s no way to live.

Work is going well. There is something wonderful about a writer that wants cohesiveness throughout their entire body of work and in turn, only wants to work with an editor that is honest, that pushes them to be better, and that truly knows their stuff. Working with an editor can be difficult if you’re unsure of yourself or you’ve heard only good things about your work prior to handing it over to a professional. It can be jarring for some people, and for others, it’s about revising, releasing, and moving forward. Detaching from your work is hard at times, but it’s the only way you grow as a writer.

I’m grateful to be booked up and to be sent projects I am highly knowledgeable about. I’ve taken way too many jobs where I didn’t know all the things I should have known about the subject matter, but because they were only critiques or proofs, I didn’t have to be, I just had to give my honest opinion and correct errors that had previously been missed. Editing is completely different. I’ve been very lucky to be sent things I know a lot about. Sometimes, especially in situations such as these, knowledge is power. Knowledge helps you make someone a better writer, a stronger storyteller. In turn, you come away feeling good about yourself too and then it’s not “just a job”.

Not everyone is a writer. Most people are born with the talent and the ability. It’s the creative voice and the creative mind unleashed. It’s not for everyone, and I think it’s important for people to realize that. I read plenty of manuscripts that make me cringe and many that make me smile. Okay, so the larger percentage makes me cringe, but you get my point.

Talent is what sets everyone apart. I may not be talented like five other women in the same room with me, but I know my skill-set very well and I’m not going to make myself small for anyone. I’m already short enough. 😉

Enjoy the rest of your week my lovely bunch of nuts.

Freelance Doesn’t Mean Free

2015-01-20 Miss Poison Being Real, Clients, Creativity, Editing, Exhaustion, Honesty, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Work, Writers, Writing Being Real, Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Work, Writing

Some days, I am utterly appalled by the audacity of others. There is a fine line between offering to help someone as a form of empowering another woman, and then dealing with the opposite side of the coin where someone wants you to do a job, but then wants you to lower your rate.

When I work with someone for the first time on a novel length project, or something larger (like a trilogy), I respectfully ask for 30-50% up front as a down payment. This protects me if the person eventually backs out. If they do, I’ve at least gotten something for my hard work. When a person jumps on my schedule and then tells me the down payment is “too high” (By my standards, it was actually too low.), but already admitted she was going to pay a hell of a lot more to another editor who could not take her until the end of next month, it grates on my hard-working nerves. I don’t like being screwed with.

Just like everyone else, I have bills to pay. They come every month, like clockwork, and none of them are willing to negotiate with me. Sometimes, you don’t eat because someone wants to wait two weeks to pay you. It sucks.

I’ve discussed my philosophy before about hiring an editor and it still stands solid: COME TO PLAY. Expect to pay. Yes, you can “shop around” for someone less expensive, but inevitably, you do get what you pay for.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve done thousands of dollars worth of work for little to no money. It’s terribly insulting to someone with 20 years of experience, but a job is a job. I will take a proofreading job if it will pay a bill or put food on the table. I will beta read for someone if that means I’m being paid. It’s not fun, but it is what it is.

I truly wish every aspiring writer knew how to use spell check, understood that commas are crucial, and didn’t have a negative attitude towards having to pay someone for WORK. Lets face facts, no one goes to work for free. You may love your job (I know a handful of people that do.), but ultimately you love your paycheck as well. Even a shitty paycheck can pay the rent/mortgage, pay for food, keep the lights on, etc. As a woman that has to do it all herself, I find myself less and less amused by the greed of others.

Alas, I’m simply venting. I have a migraine and because I’ve had terrible struggles with sleep of late, I know it will be a long time before my head hits the pillow. On the plus side, I have several hours all to myself tomorrow afternoon into the early evening. I am FINALLY going to change my hair color after saying I would do so for the past month. That might seem silly, but a company did send me a product to use and write reviews, and that’s one of the fun things about having a beauty blog on the side. I really think going back to that for a while and allowing myself to be creative would be beneficial to my health. I’m sure no one wants to read my bitching. God, please grant me the Serenity not to murder all of these idiots.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a superior day for us all. 🙂

How Not To Kill A Client

2015-01-07 Miss Poison Clients, Editing, Honesty, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing Being Real, Clients, Editing, Musings, Pissed Off, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing

How Not To Kill A Client

99% of the time, I love what I do. I’m a writer who doesn’t have to answer to anyone, but on the day-to-day, as an editor, there’s a plethora of crap that gets to me occasionally.

There is a fine line between being professional and being a bitch. Some people are slightly afraid of their editors, others think our jobs are “so easy a toddler can do it”, and others have more respect. I am pretty laid back and I will not mess with quality on the off-chance it’s actually presented to me (It’s becoming a rarity.). I have mastered that line between total pro and bitch. So when I got feedback on a job the other day and didn’t receive my usual 5 star rating all across the board, I had to go and check my interactions with this particular client.

Despite his one line comment (stating that I was efficient and delivered way ahead of schedule) and ranking, I know I was the epitome of skilled and professional. I looked at our conversations and all I can say is that he had very little to say, but asked me to be 100% honest and extensively edit, no holds barred. His first reaction upon receiving the completed manuscript was “It looks GREAT!” Furthermore, I asked him twice if he needed me to go back in and do anything more, even after I’d been paid. Technically, that is far more than anyone else would be willing to do. I know this because I always go above and beyond where others will demand more money to do so. As my “reward”, he gives me a low score on professionalism and quality. (In all fairness, he ranked those two sections at 4 stars instead of 5, but I KNOW I earned 5 stars.) WHAT.THE.FUCK?! Again, I had to double-check to see if I’d done or said something that could have been taken the wrong way. I went through our discussions and the body of work submitted back to him. Not a thing. I was thorough, honest, and highly complimentary of his work because it really is very interesting and well done.

I won’t lie; when I saw the feedback, I was PISSED. It doesn’t take much to piss me off these days, but I was violently livid, and rightly so. However, I know better than to confront someone about this. Instead, I decided that to show my professionalism was the BEST revenge. I turned around and left him stellar feedback as a client. I meant every word, but I wanted him to see I’m not some unprofessional lowlife. For anyone who has ever worked with me to say that speaks for them, but it says absolutely nothing about me, especially if I’ve only worked for you for a few weeks.

Truth be told, I’d rather a client say absolutely NOTHING than leave feedback that is less than stellar. If you have an issue, it’s perfectly fine to come to me directly and ask me to fix something, or go over the work again. Go directly to the source. Ultimately, this is my livelihood, not eBay. This is not amateur hour. My mother and Grandmother both taught me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. I do utilize that tactic most of the time, but if you piss me off, all bets are off.

Mind you, I do not name names. Not ever. A client could be on the New York Times Best Sellers List and I will NEVER talk about that or mention them by name because it is not my place to do so. Even if I don’t sign an NDA with a client, I still don’t discuss their work or give away their ideas. I have integrity, even when they drive me to the point where I’ve contemplated melon-balling my eyes out, or worse.

He’ll never read this, but he CAN bite me over that feedback. Moreover, while he was being an asshole, I am now officially triple-booked. My new client told me I am “seriously over-qualified for pretty much every job”. That comment alone made my day. 🙂

Apparently, Some People Can’t Read Warnings…

2014-12-112014-12-11 Miss Poison Copyrights, Editing, Editors, Experience, Honesty, Integrity, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Work, Writing Copyrights, Editing, Editors, Experience, Honesty, Integrity, Knowledge, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing

I think I make myself incredibly clear. Clear to the point of overly repetitive! I’m starting to think I should come with a warning label, because some people are so stupid they cannot read the simplest of statements.

If you read my editor’s profile I strictly state that I will NOT do sample edits. I have done a few, but over time you see that the job you just did a sample for ends up going to someone else. It’s always the person with a lower bid. It’s not about how good you are, it’s about someone saving a few dollars. That’s fine. C’est la vie. However, I have now made it mandatory, part of my own personal policy if you will. I don’t give my work away for free, nor should anyone expect me to do so.

I received an inquiry late last night, complete with a chapter. Not only did the person not ask me anything, they simply said “Can you do a sample page? Thanks.” (I’d like to say that request wasn’t riddled with spelling errors, but it was. A simple request, filled with errors in spelling and grammar. For a second I said to myself “Do I just do it, or am I competing against two dozen other people?” The thought of losing out to someone else over a few dollars made me stand firm. I finally replied “I will only do the sample if I am the only person you are considering for the job. No one worth their salt gives their work away for free. Thank you” That’s not me being a bitch or egotistical, it’s laying down some important ground rules.

I’m always polite and professional, but I truly don’t think anyone worth their salt should give their work away for free. I will work with a person until they are happy with their manuscript, but I don’t think I should have to posture and/or bow down to whatever it is they’re looking for in a “sample”. If you’re hiring someone, read their bio. Look at their list of experience. Choose based on that. I might not always choose the person with the most experience, because sometimes they aren’t the right person for the specific genre, but I will choose the person that instinctively feels right in my soul.

My bio says “27 years of writing experience, nearly 20 years of editing experience.” (January 1st is my 20 year mark. 🙂 ) and lists all of my qualifications and precisely what I specialize in. It also clearly states that I no longer do sample edits because the practice has become unacceptable to me, not to mention it is frowned upon by the employer. Even they tell you that 99% of the time when you do a sample for someone, you will never hear back from the person and not to give your hard work away for free. For me, it’s really not worth it. Yes, I want the job, but I am not going to beg for it, not with an extremely long list of experience backing me up. Choose me because I am right for the job, or choose someone else. Either way, it’s okay.

As a writer, I am extremely careful who I share my work with. I don’t care who you are or how much trust I have in you, my work is MY WORK and there’s a line I simply will not cross. There are only two sets of eyes that have ever looked at my fiction work, and one set of those eyes is my own. Some people have seen brief excerpts or quotes, nothing more.

You really have to be careful to protect your work and shield it. There are thousands of cases in the court system for copyright infringement. There is always someone claiming to own a story when it was simply shared with them in friendship, or as a fresh set of eyes. I sign non-disclosure agreements to protect other people because I respect that they’ve worked hard. I do not want or need their ideas, and it is not my right to steal their work. My word is my bond, but if a piece of paper will also protect a client, then so be it. I feel the same way in kind because I have worked immensely hard on every single thing I’ve ever written.

I was lucky, because I was taught about copyrighting very young. New writers know next to nothing about how to protect themselves or their work, so I often have to step up and say something. Not everything you read on the Internet is true, so when in doubt, ask someone who has some experience.

Many new writers share their work via blogs and various platforms through social media. Therein lies your first mistake. Be a writer, share new material on blogs and social media, talk about new projects, but do NOT release privileged work until it has run the gamut with literary agents, editors, and/or you have already chosen to publish it yourself. Do extensive self-publishing research and don’t fall for any crap. Again, when it doubt, turn to someone knowledgable.

Above all, don’t do anything for work that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. A sample edit might seem fine to a lot of you, but to an experienced editor who already has a sample of her work posted to her profile, it is a grave insult. I won’t whore myself out for a “maybe”, nor will I whore myself out for a “yes”. If a person cannot show you respect, then you probably don’t want to work for or with them. Remember that. Your personal integrity is so much more important than anything else. It’s something someone can only take from you if you let them. I choose to keep my integrity in tact.

UPDATE: Integrity & Intuition will not lead you in the wrong direction. This person sent a chapter of her work out to every single person, 37 in total. I filed a complaint because clearly she wants free work if she’s doing that, and I usually get sent a prologue or a first chapter, never something in the middle. I was sent chapter 12, and the warning bells went off inside my head. She has listed the same job 4 times. They immediately flagged it and told me to continue reporting anyone that violates the terms of service because I could accidentally be booted for following the rules when I haven’t done anything wrong, but it’s hard when you’ve got 10 million customers and workers to be on top of every single incident. I feel better knowing I did what’s right. Always read the rules. It takes a few minutes, yes, but it gives you knowledge and shows you’re not a moron! I’m many things, a moron isn’t one of them.

You Might Not…

Image 2014-12-082014-12-08 Miss Poison Editing, Images/Photos/Quotes, Inspiration, Writing Editing, Good Advice, Images/Photos/Quotes, Jodi Picoult, Writing

Saturday Morning Humor

2014-12-06 Miss Poison Authors, Books, Editing, Editors, Honesty, Humor, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Reading, Writing Authors, Books, Editing, Editors, Fifty Shades Of Grey, Grammar, Humor, Marketability, Publishing, Writers, Writing

I have been lucky (and not so lucky) to read a LOT of books long before they were ever published. The other day I was asked how crucial the editing process is. I said “As an editor, making sure your work is properly edited and not riddled with mistakes and errors is of the utmost importance. I cringe whenever I see something poorly edited.” I expected no response whatsoever, because really, why would I?

Then I noticed that what I said DID raise a comment, and it went a little something like this “Then how do you explain Fifty Shades Of Grey being published?!” I had the hardest time not laughing. I go from speaking from experience to being blamed for work I didn’t even edit! I’m pretty damn sure I was not credited as EL James’ editor, and if I was, I want a retraction, STAT.

I did respond to the ludicrous comment, only because editors aren’t publishers. We can push something and market it to death to a literary agent, but even that really isn’t our job. Marketability is not what I get paid, or in this case blamed, to do. However, as an editor, I do believe in letting the author know precisely how marketable their work is and which direction to take it in.

I’ve told people exactly which agents to submit queries to. A lot of people are first-time writers, have never been published, and even though they have a finished product, they have absolutely no idea what to do with it after the first edit. I advise, but unless I’m on contract, I do not do more than an extremely thorough edit with notes. In most cases, I am the first edit or the last before submission. Some books, while incredibly brilliant, never see the light of day. That is why more and more people are self-publishing and/or going through smaller publishing houses. It’s not an easy process, yet people seem to believe that it is because way too many idiots are on the New York Times Best Sellers List. Only 60% of them have true talent (Hell, I read their books!), and sometimes the numbers are higher or lower, depending on the month. Hand me a book, I will find the errors in the editing and grammar. And yes, it always makes me cringe.

As the consumer, and this goes for me as well, if you don’t like something, don’t fucking read it. Save your receipts, return whatever it is you disliked, and get something new or get a store credit. But don’t blame the editors of the world for what other people write!