One Of Those Moods

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We’ve all, at one point or another during the course of our lives, been in “one of those moods”. No one on this planet is ecstatic in their happiness at all times. If they were, there would be no such thing as mental illness or anti-depressants. There would be no practical need for such medication, and psychiatrists would all have to retire or find another form of medicine in which to work. Since we do not live in any kind of euphoric utopia where all is right in the world, we all tend to have moments where we hit walls, patches that derail us, and/or get into a “funk” from time-to-time.

For some, these things go on for years before something happens to change those feelings, whether it be medical intervention or something more. It’s human and normal. There’s no such thing as perfect happiness 24/7, and anyone that tries to feed you that line is likely selling something, or trying to convert you to Scientology (It had to be said.).

It bothers people who I am not this warm, welcoming, smiling, blissfully happy idiot. But it doesn’t bother me. I prefer to be warm and welcoming to those I genuinely like. I prefer to laugh with people when something is truly funny, and I choose to be happy during times of real happiness. I accept life, to a degree, on a day-to-day basis. Maybe I’d be happier if I didn’t suffer from so much pain, who knows? But on a realistic level, I have always known I am “other”, that I don’t blend in to the woodwork, and I learned to be okay with that. Acceptance of others begins with acceptance of self. I live with me every single day and ultimately, I have to like who I am as a person, live fully in my skin, and be content in my company. I’m not responsible for how anyone else perceives me.

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I’ve never pretended that the holidays are an easy time for me. They’re not, and I’m quite open about that fact. This year though, I’ve had bigger fish to fry and it wasn’t weighing heavy on my mind or heart.

Christmas Eve was spent recovering from a migraine (I’ve been dealing with a lot of them.), and later on in the day, enjoying time with my family. Being Jewish, Christmas itself is just another day on the calendar, but I do try to make a nice meal and do something quiet and enjoyable for those I may be with. Normally it’s a movie and a really awesome home-cooked meal, even if it’s a DVD/Blu-Ray at home, it’s still something oriented around being together. This year, I focused mainly on cooking, which is something I absolutely love doing. Cooking solely for myself isn’t always fun, but cooking for a few people (or more) makes me happy. I did want to take photos of the table and the meal itself, but I got distracted, so maybe next year? 😉

This week I will be busy with as much writing as I can cram into my days. There’s so much going on in my head, and the best therapy in the world is getting it written. I also have to get caught up on all the book and beauty reviews I have committed to.

I think as I write, my mood will shift into one of focus, and I’ll be able to purge some of what I am feeling. Moving into 2016 has all kinds of positive potential for me, and the best thing for me to do is think ahead, look forward, and don’t turn around. In a way, my mind is already shielding me from the trauma I have endured, and there’s simply so much of it at the moment. A lot of it is old, some of it is brand new, but I need to focus and let it go. I need to be healthier for myself. Perhaps I’ll take up yoga or something that allows me to be calm and collected. Who knows.

I hope everyone was able to spend their respective holidays in a manner that made them happy.

Being able to write this without interruption has shifted my mood quite a bit. After all, tomorrow is a brand new day. 🙂

Live your life the way you choose, and follow your passions, or misery will accompany far too many days.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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I’ve been in such horrible pain for the past ten days or so, and there is snow in the forecast starting Monday night, so I am more than a little hesitant to get too excited about my pain levels tapering off. I truly hate this disease!

Full Cold Moon In Cancer

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Tonight is The Full Cold Moon, named because after tonight the temperature will start to drop rapidly. It is also known as The Oak Moon and Yule Moon, This is an especially special Full Moon because it is the final one of this year. This will be one of the biggest. brightest Moons of the year.

Tonight’s Full Moon is rising in the sign of Cancer. It will be an intense, highly charged Moon filled with strong emotions coming to the surface. Don’t hold them back; let them out. This is a time of release, of letting go, and being our authentic selves. Let the world see the real you. Something has been building inside of us, and now is the time when the energy of the cosmos demands that we let it out.

This is a particularly lucky Full Moon, so don’t be afraid to go for the things you want. Lady luck is shining on you now, so be ready for all that the universe is ready to gift you. Open your hands and your heart and accept your universal gifts. Don’t be scared to dream big and ask for more. Be positive and open yourself up to allow the good to come in to your life. Be ambitious, go for what you want, or put plans in place to achieve what you want in the future. You will have inner strength now that will pull you through anything that comes up against you.

This is a time to look back on the year passed and reflect on all the lessons we have learned, and the people who have come and gone in our lives. As we come to the end of this year we should use the energy of this Full Moon to energize ourselves for the coming new year. All the inner work you have focused on this year will now be the foundation for bringing more power, love, and energy into your life in this creative, forward-moving period. On this Full Moon we can truly bring in change, and transform ourselves to be who we want to be. We will feel braver and more confident than usual. Luck will be on your side. Let your thoughts and desires manifest into something real.

This Full Moon brings light to whatever was hidden in the darkness or buried within the subconscious, such as emotional pain or our deepest desires, but once awareness happens, you are able to make realistic changes. Our emotional levels move like strong turbulent waves in the ocean during high tide during this Full Moon in Cancer. Emotional reactions may be strong, energies may feel irritable or uptight, but don’t worry, as this will pass. We are amidst great times of transformation which are heralding major new beginnings. Change isn’t always easy or comfortable and it’s constant, so we must strive to keep our balance during these changing tides. Embrace the changes coming and steer them in a positive direction.

Let the Cancer energy of this Full Moon wash over you and cleanse your spirit, use it to heal you both emotionally and physically. Let the moonlight bathe and soothe you, body and soul. Seek a balance of light and dark and see the truth in your life, however much it may hurt. Only then can we do something about it. Now is a time of reaping the rewards of all the hard work we have put in this year, and try to relax a little and let the current take you to a new and exciting year.

Have a blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Written credit goes to Wicca Teachings.

Edited by Lisa Marino.

Photo credit: Various

Blessed Yule

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Today is Yule. It is celebrated on the Winter Solstice which is the longest night of the year. After this night, the nights will start to get shorter and the days will get longer. It is the rebirth of the Sun.

Ancient people were hunters and farmers and spent most of their time outdoors. The seasons and weather played a very important part in their lives. Because of this, many ancient people had a great reverence for, and worshiped the Sun. The Norsemen saw the sun as a wheel that changed the seasons. It was from the word for the wheel, houl or jol, that the word Yule is thought to have come.

Every 6 months there is a Solstice. On the Summer Solstice the longest day of the year and shortest night, the Waning Sun takes control of the skies and the days get shorter and nights get longer, the cold starts to set in and vegetation on the earth begins to die. On the Winter Solstice the Waxing Sun takes over and the nights start to get shorter and the days longer, it is a sign that Spring is only a few months away, where life will begin anew and the earth will start to blossom and bloom.

On Yule we celebrate the return of the Waxing Sun. In Wicca it is birth of the Sun God who has many names: Cernunnos, The Oak King, Apollo, Sol, Freyr, Horus, Mithras, The Horned God, The Green Man, Lord Of Light, and more. The Goddess gives birth to him on this night, she sacrifices herself to give life to the Lord Of Light to ensure the earth’s survival.

In ancient tradition, Yule was celebrated with a large fire where the townsfolk and villagers would dedicate it to the Sun God. They would fill their homes with evergreens and an evergreen tree to show that even though the land is barren and dead, life is still flourishing. They would decorate the tree and their home with shiny objects to encourage The Sun God to shine.

We use Holly and Mistletoe on Yule as symbols of the fertility of the God and Goddess as they grow in the Winter. The red berries of the Holly represent the blood of the Goddess and the white berries of Mistletoe represent the semen of the God to ensure a healthy Spring and harvest to come.

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Fill your Yule altar with fruit, nuts, and seasonal winter fare such as fallen leaves, fallen tree branches, acorns, evergreens, and anything bright and shining. Light yellow, green, red, white, or orange candles to ensure a good year and honor the season. Make an offering of wine, grapes, juniper berries, apples, nutmeg, cinnamon, or cloves to the Gods to honor them and wish for a happy new year.

The Winter Solstice has been celebrated by many ancient cultures, one of the most famous being Saturnalia.The ancient Romans held a festival to celebrate the rebirth of the year. Saturnalia ran for seven days from the 17th-23rd of December. It was a time when the ordinary rules were turned upside down. Men dressed as women and masters dressed as servants, the servants were given lavish gifts and their masters made them a big feast. The festival also involved decorating houses with greenery, lighting candles, holding processions, and giving presents. A Saturnalia Tree would be the center piece of every home.

Yule is a celebration of light and of the Sun and its life-giving properties upon the earth. It is a time to rejoice and be thankful for all we have and to gather strength for the new year. It is a time to contemplate on the year that has gone and look to the future.

The Winter Solstice falls on the longest night of the year (this can fall anywhere between the 20th-23rd of December) and was celebrated in Britain long before the arrival of Christianity. The Druids (Celtic priests) would cut the mistletoe that grew on the oak tree and give it as a blessing. Oaks were seen as sacred and the winter fruit of the mistletoe was a symbol of life in the dark winter months.

It was also the Druids who began the tradition of the yule log. The Celts thought that the sun stood still for twelve days in the middle of winter and during this time a log was lit to conquer the darkness, banish evil spirits, and bring luck for the coming year. To make a Yule log, cut a log into 12 pieces and burn a piece every day for 12 days, with each piece burned make a wish for the coming new year.

Today we welcome back the Lord of Light. Blessed Yule to all.

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Full Written Credit: Mystical Tymes

Edited by Lisa Marino

Photo Credit: Various

New Moon In Sagittarius

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Tonight is the New Moon in Sagittarius. This is the final New Moon of the year. As with all New Moons, this is the end of a cycle and a new beginning. It is an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start anew. Use this renewed energy to make a fresh start in the coming New Year.

Sagittarius is about hard work and strength, but it is also about hard play and vulnerability. You may be feeling a little underappreciated at the moment for all your hard work, but even though people don’t always show it, know that what you do for them is very much appreciated. Try not to dwell in negativity and let your playful, fun side out. We all need to relax and let our hair down now and again. You deserve a break.

Emotions will be high this New Moon; your feelings will be intense and heightened. Each individual is testing themselves to rise to a higher level through a challenge in some form. Many people start a New Year full of hope and promises and then start to feel down as the year progresses. Don’t let this happen to you. Keep your promises to yourself. Don’t lose faith; this will be a magical year full of powerful energy that will help you succeed.

Don’t get ready. Be ready. Uranus moves direct just hours before the Sagittarius New Moon. This is a green light from the universe to go forward. Uranus rules freedom. Uranus wants to liberate you from the chains that bind you. You are creating your reality. You do this from your thoughts, words, and behavior.

What do you want to create in the New Year? You are setting the foundation for the next twelve months now. Be practical and patient and set achievable goals for yourself.

Use the power of this New Moon for real growth. Look deep within yourself and ask what it is you need to change or grow, also ask what you need to let go of that which is holding you back. Don’t let fear stand in your way, push past it and make a real commitment to getting to where you want or need to be.

This is a time where you should be reflecting on the past and the lessons you have learned from this past year. Take the lessons into the future with you. Let go of the old and welcome the new. Take small steps you feel comfortable with to create a positive change. Start your own personal journey to who and what you want to be. Dream big, and think big. Be ambitious, follow your dreams and desires. Allow yourself to be happy.

Have a blessed New Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Full written credit goes to Wicca Teachings.

Developmental editing by Lisa Marino. 

Never Underestimate The Pain

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My physical, mental, & emotional agony trump a lot of other things at the moment. I’m, quite possibly, not clear-headed enough to write this properly, so please, bear with me. I’ll correct anything that I post that needs to be fixed later on.

I sit here terribly sleep-deprived, covered in varying degrees of bruises (some are healing, some are fresh), and my physical pain is worse than I ever imagined possible. And yet, none of it compares to what’s going on inside my head. 😦 For the past week, I have been pushed way beyond my limits and comfort zone. On the plus side; I’ve walked away from some very negative things that were causing me severe physical, mental, and emotional illness that I wasn’t even aware was happening until that final step away, when I took my first clean, stress-free breath and realized I hadn’t felt free in years. On the downside; the move I was trying to put off in order to take care of Patient X  until he is fully healed is coming up sooner than I thought possible.

As of this past Monday, 95% of my stuff is in storage. My temporary “safe place” is a hotel; the only pet-friendly one I could find. The room is fantastic, but the walls are closing in on me. Again, I’m stressed and sleep-deprived. This morning I felt so weak, I went back to sleep, something I’m trying in earnest NOT to do because it exacerbates my insomnia.

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Patient X’s first post-op appointment went surprisingly well. He is healing properly, mostly due to the fact that I’m OCD and constantly repeating myself so that he’ll listen at least one time out of ten. Unfortunately, his “young pain receptors” are having trouble with the really painful aspects of such a complicated and delicate surgery, so his pain medication was changed at yesterday’s appointment. I’m not thrilled with the choice, but so far, it is working.

I went to three different pharmacies for this drug and when I finally found one willing to fill it, they damn near told me to go back to Philly and fill it there. It is the store’s policy that certain drugs be filled “closer to the prescribing hospital”, as if people have a choice as to where they’re operated on or not! They were willing to do it this time because I’d called in advance, which apparently made them nervous (I think they called security several times, an absolute FIRST, and I’m a pain patient, so I was floored.). I’m not about to apologize for calling with a legitimate question. Lord knows I showed up less than ten minutes after calling with the script, the patient, and his driver’s license to prove it wasn’t being sold on the street. They weren’t going to fill it until they realized he’s A) wearing a Life Vest and B) talked with him about why it was prescribed. Not cool Walgreens, not cool AT ALL, especially in light of the medication you filled without batting an eye for several patients who showed up after me, one of which is something I feel should be outlawed, but I’m not judging the fact that people need it.

Walmart & Target: you should both carry this drug that I desperately needed to acquire immediately, even if only in small quantities. Post-op patients need access to pain medicine that their surgeons prescribe. It’s completely unacceptable to tell them you can order it “in a week”. What are they supposed to do in that week? Hang around with a thumb up their ass?! NO ONE should be forced to suffer because you’ve decided not to carry medication legally prescribed by a physician. By doing shit like that, you’re trying to override a doctor’s right to prescribe and you don’t have the authority to do so. I was so annoyed by the time the medication was paid for that I damn near flipped my lid, and I can only partially blame that on low blood sugar.

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Sunday is “moving day”. Some of my clothes & electronics, Cat, Kitten, and I are moving nearly five hours up north. Life as I know it is changing drastically, and I am not happy about the “rug pulled out from beneath my feet” feeling. Yes, I will adapt and yes, I will adjust. I will pull myself together and dust myself off over these next few weeks/months, mainly because stress can do horrible things to the body, mind, and soul. Someone told me on Monday that if I don’t take care of myself, I could do irreparable damage. She herself was so stressed around this time last year that she had to re-learn how to walk. I don’t want to reach that level of stress, so I need to get on the self-care diet of putting myself first for a few hours every single day.

Once I move, there will be a period of time where I will have to back-date things I write for this platform because I am not 100% sure when I’ll have Internet access, however, things will be written & posted as soon as humanly possible. Let’s hope the wait isn’t too long, lest I lose my marbles. There is such a thing as “too much silence” after a big move. The only books I have are on my Kindle Fire (every book I own is sadly, in storage. My poor babies!), and all of my music is packed, so I will be living off of what’s saved on my laptop and phone until I’m back for good. You simply never know when I will need to listen to Taylor Swift on a loop and cry.

I will miss all of you during “the dark period”, but know that I’ll be back the second the technician plugs everything in. I’ll be in touch before I leave. Be sure to check my Twitter feed and for those that need to know, my cell # and e-mail address will not be changing.

Laters, peeps!

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Insomnia & Painsomnia: A Wicked Combination

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Whenever there’s something stressful going on in my life, it often affects my sleep, thus turning me into a shadow of my former self. Insomniac Lisa and Painsomnia Lisa are two very different beasts from the person I am when I’m able to prioritize sleep, and actually get into bed each night at a decent hour. I’m never 100% pain-free, but sleep is a crucial part of how my body recovers from what I do to it each day. I have worked my ass off this past month and lost roughly 20 pounds, somehow managing to strengthen my upper back muscles in the process.

Unfortunately for the past month, my sleep has been insanely erratic. First it was major moving stress, liable to affect even the calmest person in the world, of which I openly admit is not me. Then it was my brother’s pre-hospitalization health, closely followed by getting the phone call that he would need open-heart surgery or a transplant. It’s normal to have things like that affect you on many levels health-wise. Let’s face facts: No one expects someone young to be told that their heart is at 11% capacity. An entire team of doctors and surgeons and two different hospitals told him he was 10-15 years too early for such a severe issue. All of this crap has been screwing with me day and night and thus far, nothing I’ve done is helping. To add insult to injury, I have had a migraine since the day before Thanksgiving. I currently feel as if my head is in its very own torture chamber, taking my body along for the ride. 😦

When my brother was first released from the hospital, my sleep schedule had already shifted due to late-night texting and phone calls when he was still hospitalized and feeling lonely late at night, before his final dose of pain meds took over. There were many times I had to suggest he watch something on TV (“It’s almost 10 PM, here are three shows you can watch tonight. I have GOT to get some sleep!”), and then mute the ringer on my phone as opposed to allowing it to vibrate, so I could go to bed without the phone buzzing for hours. Now he’s here 24/7, and he’s driving me insane.

He’s not doing anything in particular to make me crazy (though I wish he’d remember that his legs are fine and he can get up and pour his own damn drinks!), he just happens to be in my personal space, and I crave privacy and silence. He’s mortified that I disinfected the remote, but since I don’t want him getting sick and he’s using it and I’m using it as well, I figured it was a wise decision. It is cold & flu season and while he is currently not in contact with other people several days a week, I am, and that can pose a problem for him if I bring something into the house that I did not leave with.

The other night he fell asleep while I was talking to him (I wasn’t boring him, he was simply in a lot of pain.). It was super early, but I felt that was the perfect time to cover him with a few extra blankets (It’s cold here most nights, and even when it’s not, he’s complaining that he’s cold.), and sneak off into the silence that is my normal routine. Alas, he got about three hours of sleep and I was wide awake. The second I thought about going to sleep, he was moaning in pain and when I checked on him, he was messaging someone on his tablet, with the TV on lighting up three rooms.

After a highly stressful week, I was finally in bed at a decent hour last night. As soon as I’d dispensed the last pain pill of the day, my head was on the pillow. Unfortunately, the previously aforementioned migraine decided to kick things up a notch and a little after 2:00 a.m., I woke up in unimaginable pain. I have no idea how I am attempting to type this, much less see.

My first line of defense is to attempt to get some caffeine into my system. It’s the only thing I haven’t sought out or used to treat this particular pain level, when it would normally be something I thought about a bit more closely. No, last night I was too far gone, so I took something less targeted that, as a last resort, often helps. Clearly it only helped part of me. 😦 So, I am nursing caffeinated tea and I took two Excedrin Tension Headache capsules. Not because I have a tension headache as opposed to a migraine, I know the difference, but because sometimes that combination works for me and nips the migraine in the bud. It’s not a permanent solution, but nothing really is. If it doesn’t start working in an hour or so, I will take a third.

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It astounds people that I have managed to learn how to work through some of my worst migraines, or that I put myself into the head space to focus on healing one. I look at it this way: I am not going out and triggering the headache to be any worse than it already is. I am home, I’m safe, I can control the environment (noise level, light, temperature), and I know not to move around too much, but can I sit at a darkened laptop screen and talk about it? Sometimes, yes. That doesn’t diminish the intensity of the migraine, it does not mean I don’t suffer from migraines (three neurologists and two other doctors are all in agreement that I suffer from migraines. They have gotten worse since my first diagnosis, so there’s nothing else it could be. Everything else has been ruled out.), and it also doesn’t mean it’s “just a headache”. On occasion, like most sufferers, I will get a dull headache. Unfortunately, dull can go to extremes pretty quickly, so I take all headache forms seriously. I don’t walk around denouncing other people’s pain either. If a person says they have a headache, but quickly says “I don’t get migraines like you do.”, I still wouldn’t tell them it was “no big deal”. Pain is pain. No one likes it and for those of us that endure it 24/7, I have seen people empathize with others openly, and I have also seen people blow off the pain of others because they somehow feel it is their right in life to be the one person on the planet who has it far worse than the rest of us. Sorry, but that couldn’t possibly be true, or you’d be dead. What may be indeed true is that everyone’s threshold for pain is different. In fact, I know this to be true.

In studies, it has been determined that women tolerate pain differently from their male counterparts. Not better, not worse, just different. Taking into consideration that the female body can push out a human-being during the process of giving birth, that’s not an immense surprise to me.

All of my heavily tattooed male friends had their jaws on the floor when I sat through my first four tattoos and described the pain as “No worse than a cat scratch.” You see, I chose a spot that most of them found to be extremely painful. They all told me to put my ink somewhere else, that the pain would be too much for me to endure, especially considering I suffer from Fibromyalgia, but I’d consulted with several artists who, like me, believed that my first tattoo should be someplace easily covered up with clothing. However, never to do things the simple way, I got my first four all at the same time. I wouldn’t even rate that a one on my personal pain scale. I’ve had more painful piercings.

As many of you also suffer from migraines, has anyone gotten a Daith piercing to try to combat them? Compared to all the medication, a myriad of supplements that may or may not be useful to the individual, various treatment methods, Botox, acupuncture, etc., the piercing itself, depending on where one goes, is between $50-$100. I am being told that it works for 50% of the people who get it, but I am also being told the relief is temporary, though some people are reporting themselves migraine-free 3-7 years post-piercing. I have decided to try acupuncture for a year to see if that spot along either of my ears responds to treatment. My insurance covers it, which is rare, so I am going to take the opportunity to use it first. I’m not sure I need another hole in my head, but I’d be interested in hearing whether or not the piercing has helped anyone. If you’re considering getting this particular piercing, please go somewhere highly reputable and have someone experienced do the piercing itself. The report of infection with this spot is very high, and I’d hate for anyone to go through that. I’ve only had three piercings in my life that gave me problems. Luckily they never got infected, but two of them bled for years if someone hugged me too hard, and the third still gives me problems on occasion (The fact that I share the piercing with a highly toxic person is probably why… I’m a big believer in energy. Sometimes we are healthier overall without certain people in our lives.). While most piercings are mainly decorative, there is no medical or scientific evidence that a Daith piercing is a cure for migraines, so don’t read into all of the Pinterest and Instagram “science”. Those are exclusively individual experiences, most of which are brand new. There’s no way of knowing what the long-term effects may be. For many, it is worth it for temporary relief. I’d rather explore a few additional options first.

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Are there any alternative treatment methods that work best for your migraines? If so, what are they?

The day insomnia can be cured in any way, shape, or form, I will be on a line for that! Right next to the line for the great Fibro/Chronic Pain cure. Here’s hoping we see it in this lifetime.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

A Hard Week Ahead

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A Hard Week Ahead

Seven years ago this week, my father passed away. He bravely battled various forms of cancer for 15 years. Eight years “clear”, cancer resurfaced. It continued to be a battle on and off for the remainder of his life, which ended at age 63. Way too young. From year-to-year, I have mixed emotions about the relationship I had with him and a thousand other little, and not so little, things.

On a whole, this is an extremely hard time of year for me. I know for some people, they bury a loved one and after a few months or maybe a year or two, they don’t think about it much. However, I’ve been burying people damn near my entire life. I have next to no immediate family left, and unfortunately two members of my family have really pissed me off over the past few weeks, this was exacerbated early this morning to the point of me seeing blood. Extended family pisses me off, period, but I’ll save that story for another day.

Some people have trouble with the word “No.” or, “It’s 12:30 a.m., I JUST fell asleep, I am in agonizing pain, LEAVE ME ALONE until later. Let me fucking sleep!” I think they’re simple, honest statements and requests, but apparently some people struggle with comprehension. If I tell a person at 8:30 PM that I am going to bed, then I strongly encourage them to leave me the hell alone unless their issues fall into one of the following categories.

A) You are bleeding and I am the only person within a 10 mile radius that can help save your life.

B) You’re on fire and need me to help put it out.

C) You need to be bailed out of jail, and in truth there’s not much I can do until morning any way, so leave a message and call back in the morning. Provide pertinent info, I will find you. Believe it or not, they DO allow you more than ONE phone call.

D) You are drunk and have no money for a cab. I will send one your way.

E) Someone has died, in which case, please leave a message because I really do need to sleep to be able to handle this in the morning.

I think those are pretty fair categories, but some people are anal-retentive and cannot listen to simple instructions. Consider what constitutes a TRUE emergency by emergency standards and proceed accordingly.

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My second family issue is with a person not thinking before they speak, talking down to me, being disrespectful regarding someone they do not know, and making demands that I find over the top for someone who has not known me their entire life. Moreover, after well over 10 days of pure silence from my end, they call or e-mail acting like NOTHING is wrong, but they include an additional demand that just plain makes you want to smack them.

Generally, if I don’t respond to an e-mail within a few days, it probably means I am BUSY. I do work and I DO have a life, but in some rare cases, I am ignoring you for a while so that I don’t tell you exactly where to fly and how high. 98% of the time, it’s truly just the fact that I am busy. I almost always call people back if they’ve left me a message, BUT if I don’t call you back within 1-7 days and have repeatedly explained that I am not feeling well and that I am going through some heavy shit, respect that answer and stop shoving yourself down my throat.

Unless you are my brother, Aunt, or one of my dearest friends don’t EVER call me at 10:00 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day and assume I am “spending the day all alone” because that’s how your day is going. I hate assumptions, you know what people say about them, so just DON’T. By the way, I was COOKING, so I didn’t have time to reach over and spend the next 7 hours “chatting”. I think my days of speaking to people I barely even like are 100% OVER. If I take the time to call someone myself, it’s genuinely because I want to speak to them, care about them, and like/love them. The list gets shorter by the day.

On an entirely different subject, it is starting to annoy me when people use languages I don’t speak as a means of “good wishes”. English is my first language. I am well know for saying thank you in Italian on a consistent basis, no matter where I am. I am also well known for answering the phone in Italian, Spanish, or Russian. These are simply things I do, BUT it’s not out of an attempt to annoy someone. In fact, I try not to do it all the time because I understand it can be annoying on the flip-side too. So why would you constantly do it to someone when you KNOW they don’t speak the language you’re using?

I have yet to decide whether or not to say something about it. In fact, the “demand of the day” is that I speak to the previously aforementioned person right about the time I plan on making dinner tonight. Mind you, I was not asked about MY schedule, simply INFORMED that she’d be calling between one time and another because that’s when she’d be home from all of her appointments today. I had a hard time not responding with “I’m NOT speaking to you right now.” I really want to tell her off, but I think it’s best said in a few weeks when I’m calmer. I really want to make a great meal tonight and do some Chanukah prep, so I definitely think pointing out all of these things is best kept for a post-holiday discussion. In fact, I think it’s good karma to rid myself of it before the end of the year.

If I’ve repeatedly said this is a hard time of year for me, you can either be supportive and back off, or simply let me know you’re available if I need to talk, but you don’t need to be a monkey on my back. I don’t respond well to tacky aggressiveness.

As we go into the holidays, do you have any family members that drive you absolutely insane and/or make crazy demands of you and your time? Or invite themselves over when you truly don’t want to be bothered? Please let me know how you deal with this insanity in the comments section.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Is The Pen Mightier Than The Sword?

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Is The Pen Mightier Than The Sword?

I was exceptionally lucky to be gifted with my writing voice relatively young. Being vocal with the written word is something that runs in my family, but for years, I kept things bottled up and didn’t have a lot to say. Being told “Write what you know, think, and feel.” is some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

Having amassed 27 years of writing experience does something to a person. It makes you reflect back on the very early stages of who you were as a writer. I was so far from refined, it wasn’t even funny, but no one ever is. You can be writing for 50 years and there is still something to be learned each day. Writing is the gift that keeps on giving.

Sourcing inspiration can come from things you witness, experience, and simply living each day. We all have different stories to tell, yet it is based on a single common denominator; living.

I do like to stick to what I know. Facts and opinions are my bread and butter, and to some extent, they will always be at the core of everything I do. Fiction allows me to breathe new life into something that always plays itself out inside my head, much like a big budget film. I find myself enchanted and intrigued by all of the characters, all of whom are inspired by actual people in my life or people no longer in my life. With books, characters are often more relatable than a glammed up actress with false lashes on or the male lead sporting very obvious eyeliner (unless it’s Johnny Depp, in which case we sort of expect it.), but on paper, things flow differently. There are things that can be conveyed with the written word that can never be conveyed any other way.

Memories are often beautifully conveyed with words. As is common for me during this time of year, I look back on family members that have passed away and I can recall their mannerisms, voice, and the stories they used to tell.

My Great-Uncle Charlie was a solid storyteller. He would talk about his travels, his experience in the military, and he was so exceptionally bright that even in his 80’s, the stories could very easily take you back in history. For several years I would spend damn near every Saturday afternoon with him, and he always had stories to tell. At the end of his life, he paid me the most beautiful of compliments. It was like being seen by someone for the very first time, only now, he had a different type of clarity. I will never forget how precious that moment was or how it made me feel.

He was present the day I was offered a position at Morgan Stanley to be a stockbroker. I asked his thoughts on the decision, something I very rarely do, because I thought the idea was slightly ludicrous. He told me I had to choose to do what would ultimately make me happy, not what someone else thought I should do with my life. After much deliberation, I decided not to take the job. I believed in listening to his advice. I made my decision after he had passed away, and by doing so I was able to continue on a path that isn’t for everyone, but is very clearly my own.

Writing was my first true creative outlet. It was always my thoughts and voice, but it was, even from the start, way ahead of its time. Perhaps that is telling.

I have often been accused, even on this platform, of being “too this” or “too that”. The truth is, on my “regular” blog, I am way too tame. I see it each day, and it annoys me. I no longer post my work there, because I feel like it has been tainted in some way and even though I have worked on it for two years, I feel like stepping back from it and only posting things there that I deem appropriate is okay. So if you’re reading this, know that I’m not “too anything” here. I am myself. I won’t ever let anyone diminish that strength again, or attempt to take who I am from me with negative words. I need no one’s approval or acceptance, just my own. .

Is the pen mightier than the sword? Sometimes. What I have learned is that my pen IS my sword, and vice versa. It is my weapon of choice, of skill, of convenience, or complete and utter ease. My father used to say I could sell ice to Eskimos during the worst Winter ever, all with what I had to say. Maybe that is true, but having the skill to properly utilize words is one of the most precious gifts a person can have. It’s not a gift everyone is granted with. Sometimes it’s luck, sometimes it’s talent, but often times, it’s a blend of the two.

If my “sword” is too much for you, please, by all means, walk away. But for those of you who stay; You’re in for a fun ride!

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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