Pull The Trigger

2017-05-29 Miss Poison Writing Blackouts, Depression, Health, Honesty, Migraines, People, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Triggers, Writing

Almost two weeks ago, after an appointment with the Certified Nurse Practitioner at my doctor's office, I went into the afternoon with one thought in mind: What are my triggers? It began to nag at me, until a few things dawned on me. I keep a food journal to track what I'm eating each day. … Continue reading Pull The Trigger

Memorial Day Silence

2017-05-282017-05-29 Miss Poison Writing Family, Feelings, Friends, Honesty, Memorial Day Weekend, Musings, My Point Of View, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Relationships, Solitude, Thoughts, Toxic Relationships, Writing

I got to spend half of this holiday weekend solo. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy "me time". I was able to enjoy a long walk, a manicure, and have lunch by myself. Even though the walk killed my legs (I've walked so much the last few days, I'm probably going to be crawling in … Continue reading Memorial Day Silence

Life Is Full Of Everything

2017-05-17 Miss Poison Writing Anguish, Daughter, Fibromyalgia Pain, Grief, Health, Honesty, Loss, Memories, Migraines, My Mother, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

Nine years ago today, I lost my mother. I can't always say it out loud, I can't always talk about it, but I honestly have no clue how I've survived this long without her. Not because I need someone else in order to survive, that isn't it, but because life is full of people that … Continue reading Life Is Full Of Everything

The Aftermath

2017-05-152017-05-15 Miss Poison Writing Abandonment, Agony, Being Real, Blackouts, Depression, Fibromyalgia Pain, Honesty, Isolation, Migraines, Misery, Needing Help, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Suicide, Triggers, Writing

*Potential trigger warning* I survived, and I'm always sorry when I do. Always. Last week, a member of my family overdosed on prescription medication. It wasn't painkillers or anything like that. In fact, I have yet to look the drug up, but I do know what it isn't. It's not lethal if you're taking it … Continue reading The Aftermath

The Countdown

2017-05-12 Miss Poison Adult Orphans, Writing Adult Orphans, Being Real, Fibromyalgia Pain, Honesty, May, Migraines, Mother's Day, Motherless Daughters, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Suffering, Writing

Every year, usually around mid-April, is the countdown reminder from every company I've ever done business with, or might do business with in the future, that Mother's Day is fast approaching. Last year, it angered me to the point where I unsubscribed from about 20-30 different mailing lists. I just couldn't take it any more. … Continue reading The Countdown

It’s Possible To Feel Worse

2017-05-06 Miss Poison Writing Agony, Fibromyalgia, Health, Migraines, Musings, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Writing

Just when I thought it wasn't possible to feel any worse than I have these last few weeks, I woke up this morning and the pain is at an all-time new high for INSANITY. You know those pain scales every doctor's office has posted with idiotic faces? There is no logical way to say "Oh, … Continue reading It’s Possible To Feel Worse

Too Many Thoughts That I Can’t Process

2017-05-03 Miss Poison Writing Health, Migraines, Musings, Nausea, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Weakness, Writing

Today is one of those days where I just can't seem to break myself out of how bad I feel. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I caught myself last night, while making dinner, realizing just how done I am. It wasn't a temporary feeling. It was a "What's the point in this life?" feeling. I'm still … Continue reading Too Many Thoughts That I Can’t Process

The Month Of Triggers

2017-05-01 Miss Poison Writing Depression, Emotional Pain, Grief, Honesty, Loss, May, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Sadness, Triggers, Writing

Fourteen years ago today, a female relative of mine (an Aunt by marriage) was murdered by her live-in boyfriend. I just read her autopsy and toxicology report for the first time; her death having been ruled an "accident". I read it in utter disbelief. The damage incurred was no accident. I look at it as … Continue reading The Month Of Triggers

The Never-Ending Excitement

2017-04-29 Miss Poison Writing Honesty, Musings, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writers, Writing

I swear, I'm radiating unhappiness. Thursdays' appointment made me feel like a fucking fraud. Despite the fact that I KNOW I suffer greatly, you cannot see anything I suffer from. It's like being slapped in the face a bit. People can't help but stare at you, because they're questioning your validity of illness without knowing … Continue reading The Never-Ending Excitement

Scheduling Conflicts

2017-04-262017-04-26 Miss Poison Writing Appointments, Bad Days, Doctors, Honesty, Life, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Writing

When you suffer from any form of chronic illness, you can choose, or not choose, to see your life as a bunch of doctor's appointments. I try not to, but lately... Without insurance, I didn't have to think about it. I only went when I had no other choice, and there are doctors I'm still … Continue reading Scheduling Conflicts