For some reason, the number of days hit me. December is never an easy month for me, but this year I've got more grief than usual weighing on my heart. It's unbelievably intense and heavy. I try to talk about it, and the pain seizes control of my vocal cords. It shuts me up and … Continue reading Eleven Days
Sadness
There Is No Point…
“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” ―Barbara Kingsolver I am not minimizing cancer, for those of you that might be … Continue reading There Is No Point…
Was It The Infinite Sadness?
“Was it the infinite sadness of her eyes that drew him or the mirror of himself that he found in the gorgeous clarity of her mind?” ―F. Scott Fitzgerald
Three
“La tristesse durera toujours." [The sadness will last forever.] ―Vincent van Gogh The past four plus days have been a nightmare. First, I ignored a very obvious death sign. I won't explain it since most people are not believers, but it shakes me to my core. Between Thursday and Sunday, I lost three people. Two … Continue reading Three
Think Of It Always
“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”―Mahatma Gandhi
Tracking The Time
The loss of my mother haunts me. How could it not? I know not everyone has a deep bond with either parent, and others have different scenarios of their family dynamic, which I understand, but my mother was my best friend. I was never embarrassed of her or ashamed of her. I took care of … Continue reading Tracking The Time
Numb Dismay
It's hard not to be angry and numb today as an #American. I've seen a lot of ugly, racist comments made, all under the guise of, "If those people had been…" Just stop. I don't want to see ANYONE shot, choked, tear-gassed, or harmed because of one psychotic person who bought an election in this … Continue reading Numb Dismay
Discussions of Funerals and Such
Today is the funeral of a friend of the family who died as a result of Covid 19. My brother is there now, and there's nothing I can do except be encouraging, even though it puts me into the headspace where I relive every funeral I've ever been to. Funerals aren't usually anyone's cup of … Continue reading Discussions of Funerals and Such
The Eerie Stillness of Bad News
Today, #Covid19 claimed the life of a family friend. His crime? Being told it was safe to have surgery, so that he could get back to being the healthy, active person he was. 😡 They are NOT preserving a life if Covid is part of the diagnosis, and it's important for people to know this. … Continue reading The Eerie Stillness of Bad News
Emotions, In My Experience
“Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in "sadness," "joy," or "regret." Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, "The happiness that attends disaster." Or: "The disappointment of … Continue reading Emotions, In My Experience
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 