Facebook

Follow Your Gut, Because It Doesn’t Lie…

Miss Poison Facebook, Social Media, Writing , , , , , ,

A few weeks ago someone friended me on Facebook. Under normal circumstances I only accept requests from people I know in real life or people I have met via a migraine or Fibromyalgia/ Chronic Pain group. I’ve met some great people who have become good friends almost immediately. Sometimes you click with someone and you’re good, despite not seeing them every single day of your life. But every once in a while, someone comes along and their intentions are less than honorable.

Here’s precisely what went down with this particular person.

#1: He friended me and I was busy, so I accepted it thinking he was from my migraine group. When I went to do a little recon, I found that his profile had exactly three photos, and he’d joined in February of 2017. He had the prerequisite photo of “himself” in the desert holding a gun. He claimed he worked “at U.S. Army”. Red flag. Why? He didn’t have a single friend or family member listed. That’s odd, especially when a person is friending you out of the blue.

#2: He immediately messages me. And by immediately, I mean I don’t think it took him thirty seconds. Everything about the interaction screamed “This is not the person in the photos.”, and because I trust my intuition, I reported him to Facebook. HUGE red flag.

#3: Facebook, as usual, did nothing. The profile was deleted for less than a few hours and then he was suddenly back on my friends list. I decided to let it go, as long as the messages stopped.

#4: When he messaged me after midnight and his English is about as American as my knowledge of Indo-Iranian languages, I called him on his shit.

#5: Instead of being honest, especially after I said “Your profile states that you’re U.S. Military, but your command of the English language shows otherwise.”, he tried to maintain the charade. “Sorry! I didn’t understand you better.” Americans don’t talk like that. We know proper tense.

#6: “Okay, but you hardly ever talk to me dear.” How many guys do you know who talk like that? I responded by saying “You are an absolute stranger and I’m not dumb.” He stated “What does that mean?” Even the dimmest person would realize I’m on to them and back off. Someone smarter would have immediately unfriended me. He didn’t. I was very direct with my response. I flat-out said he was not who he was professing to be and he replied “Are you kidding me? I am who I am and no one else is me.” He said a few other things and again, the English was SO off. Instead of continuing the nonsensical back and forth (which I do not have time for), I unfriended him, reported him again, and blocked him.

If someone friends you, do a little background on them if you don’t know them from work, every day life, etc. I attract different types of people because I’m a writer and I’m affiliated with some pain groups, one of which I founded and maintain, as well as some groups for specific interests, etc. But I’m NOT fucking stupid. I speak more than one language fluently and I know how Americans sound, even via text message or Facebook Messenger. There is a distinction to American English that does not translate into or out of other languages. Two of my best friends are German and Israeli, by birth. Each speaks English as a second language. I’ve been friends with both of them for over twenty years. On occasion, one or both of them will say something and they’ll state “This may not translate into English well, but…” They are honest and they own the fact that certain things get lost in translation. I have other friends who are polyglots and they, like me, will be the first to say that a lot of things can get lost in translation when English is your first language.

There are all kinds of people out there, but you are my readers and I want each and every one of you to be safe on the Internet. Don’t take anyone at face value until they prove themselves to you, just like you would expect in real life.

I know a lot of people are lonely and they look for people to chat with in chat rooms and assorted forums. IRC is one of the larger forums I know of because my brother has used it since he was a kid, making good friends along the way, but also losing friends because of it in terribly tragic ways. 😦

Be careful who you “friend” and be careful who you talk to. Not everyone is authentic. Don’t be so quick to trust. Trust your intuition and don’t be so willing to give out personal info.

Always, ALWAYS, trust your gut, and even more so if you see a red flag go up. Your gut instinct is the one part of you that will never lie.

There are real people in this world, but there are also fake people and fake profiles. Unfortunately, that is the land of social media.

copyright © 2017 Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

How Honest Are People About Their Mental Health? This Might Surprise You…

Miss Poison Artists, Being Real, Creativity, Emotional Pain, Facebook, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, Life, People, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Suicide, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Facebook needs to institute a better policy involving “friending”. Even with strict filtering, I have people sending me friend requests simply because they like something I’ve said. Why in the world would you want to be “friends” with someone who is simply the same astrological sign as you, or just happens to also be a writer/editor? I understand when people say they’re an “aspiring writer”. They want to see what they can learn from you. I am a very open person, BUT when it comes to my WIP’s, I am not about to post them anywhere for the entire world to see. I don’t want or need a critique, I don’t need someone to tell me how to be a better writer, etc. I have been doing this for 28 years this month. I know my shit. If I didn’t, I would never have continued to return to it, be it as a source of inspiration for myself or as a source of income.

Moreover, if a person openly declares themselves a “sociopath”, you probably DON’T want to accept the friend request that is sent to you an hour later simply because they “like” an intelligent and/or helpful comment that you’ve made. I keep my “inner sociopath” to myself. I do let her out on special occasions though, when a person is deserving of dealing with it. 😉

One interesting thing that caught my eye over the past couple of days was an article that other writers and aspiring writers were contributing to. I want to say that it was more a group of highly creative individuals, so there were songwriters and artists also involved in the conversation. It began with a question: “How many of us suffer from bipolar disorder or other forms of depression or anxiety?”

Nearly a hundred different people (it might have been more, this has been a rough week for me in terms of keeping in touch with others) responded with various responses that said yes and each of them explained their diagnoses. Only four or five people said they suspected they suffered from some sort of depression, but that it had never been diagnosed. About the same amount, more or less, said they did not suffer from depression.

I was very proud of everyone for openly, honestly discussing bipolar disorder, anxiety, OCD, and a plethora of other forms of “mental illness”. It hurts me to use that term AT ALL. I don’t see every single person as “mental” and I cringe when people refer to others in such a way, as opposed to educating themselves. An illness is an illness. I would never tell someone they were responsible for getting sick in the first place, but MANY do say shit like that. It baffles me. Some people even discussed varying degrees of autism. That takes incredible courage. One of my cousins is autistic, so I’m not ignorant there.

When confronted with my own mental health, I am supremely honest, but I do not advertise it. I am going through something that has made me full-blown OCD,  exacerbated my PTSD to levels I didn’t even know existed, and my anxiety is so bad, I can barely sleep most nights without waking up screaming, sometimes from pain, sometimes from my medication wearing off too quickly.

From day one, I have openly, and very honestly discussed suicide. This makes people uncomfortable because they REFUSE to face the fact that they’ve romanced the idea themselves. No one can tell me they suffer from any form of depression and have NEVER considered suicide. It might have been a fleeting thought, it might be something you NEVER act on, but it still exists. This is a trigger for a lot of people. They lash out at me and decide I am no longer worth their time, all because I was HONEST. Catch me on a dark day and I might scare you with my truth, but anyone who genuinely cares about you will give you their time and concern, they will not pretend you’re “mental” or tell you to “take a pill”. Those are two of the most insulting things to tell someone.

I once had a woman piss me off at the grocery store. I was going through a stressful time with my father’s health and, in front of her children (both of whom were under the age of 12, but not younger than 8 or 9), she told them to “Get away from her, she’s “mental”. I might THINK a person is batshit in a public place, but unless they’ve caused harm to someone or they’re about to hurt themselves, I’m not stupid enough to go there.

Truth is, they were standing in front of a huge display of fruit for nearly ten minutes and wouldn’t move out of the way. How do you not tell your young kids to move over so other people can shop too? She was talking to them like they were infants, as opposed to children that have the ability to comprehend. The comment was completely out of line and off base. I turned to look at her, contemplated knocking her teeth out, and then looked at her a second longer with her kids. I felt incredibly sorry for them. I then politely took the fruit I wanted and said “Did you learn that in your many years of therapy? You might not want to pre-judge people based upon your own issues.”, and I walked away. She was left in the dust, unable to speak, because I called her on her shit.

I don’t need that kind of false denial in my life, not from any one. You don’t have to like me or love me, but I guarantee that with an open mind, you will respect me. I would never intentionally hurt someone with my candor, and it’s okay to say “Lisa, I care about you, but this upsets me too much to discuss any further.” It’s called COMMUNICATION.

I have lost people to suicide because they had no one they felt would truly listen and hear them out or “make it stop”. I’ve stopped myself many times from acting on a thought because I believed it was irrational and felt it was wrong to leave any one of 4-5 people in my life behind to discover what I’d done, or have to receive the phone call that just plain brings you to your knees. It would devastate four of them. The last person probably wouldn’t give a shit or so much as come to my funeral. I’m not a priority now, why would I be a priority then?! (Yes, that was morbid and I apologize. Two, you’d understand why I said that if you knew who I was talking about and how they have treated me.)

Being honest about what I suffer from, including migraines and Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain is part of what keeps me alive. The other part is that I am responsible for little people that love me and would have terrible difficulties without me. And even still… I often find myself thinking “This isn’t enough to live for.” It’s not coming from a selfish place, it’s coming from a place of wanting to be better, to strengthen the relationships in my life, to bring other relationships into my life and allow them to flourish. I cannot live for one thing and one thing alone. That’s my personal take on it, but it might not be yours, and that’s okay. I’m by no means here to judge you.

I want to thank the people that have supported me this past week through a living nightmare. I am surprisingly uplifted by the emotional support, care, concern, dedication, determination, and devotion. Only ONE person said “I’m proud of you.” When you’re going through hell, you do not want to be pitied, treated like a failure, or be belittled and/or disrespected. You simply want to be treated like the person that you are. I had to be reminded that I am strong, smart, and capable in the face of others trying to crush my soul. Bad things happen to all of us at some point in life. I may have been given a higher dose, perhaps God shouldn’t trust me so much, but it is what it is, and I am making peace with it.

I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel small in order to raise their own self-esteem.

If you’re honest and upfront about any illness, I applaud you. If you’re a loyal, supportive person to those that you love, I also applaud you. Compassion & genuine kindness is severely underrated.

“Things” do not make you who you are. It’s what’s inside your heart and soul that is the true value of self. The trappings are pure nonsense. They do not define you. I wish I’d understood some of that for the past ten years, but now that I do, I am determined, now more than ever, to persevere and make important things happen.

This phoenix has been reborn. Stay the hell out of my fire.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

itsgoingtobeokay

It’s Friday, Let’s Celebrate!

Miss Poison Being Real, Cats, Facebook, Fibromyalgia, Kittens, Musings, Pain, Petty Garbage, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Support, Thoughts, Toxic People, Work, Writer, Writers, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
We know where you live Mommy, and it is not beneath us to display our utter cuteness for you to gain food, treats, or head scratches.
We know where you live Mommy, and it is not beneath us to display our utter cuteness for you to gain food, treats, or head scratches.

I have no idea why Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have become my favorite days of the week, but lately, I just can’t handle week days. Does anyone else feel like this?

I’ve had a rough week. I’ve been in a lot of pain and have required way more sleep than any single person my age should need (Still young, still fabulous. 😛 ). I work and then I look at the time, realizing that I’ve done a lot in short bursts of time, but that now that I’ve gotten work done, it’s time to close my eyes “for a little while”. The next thing I know, the day is over. I wake up from that brief little “nap”, check the time, and my cat and kitten are wrapped around each other. Apparently some kind of love fest goes on when I’m down for the count. I almost always have to be in bed and half asleep or completely out of it before they go into “love mode”.

Passive, sweet cat. Troublesome, but incredibly loving kitten. (You can see their photos on my About page.) They’re good for each other and they’re good for me, because without them, I wouldn’t get out of bed at all. There are many mornings when they’re both pacing around me, marking my face with theirs (kitten does this), to encourage me to go downstairs and give them breakfast. If that doesn’t work, they start bringing toys into the bed. I have no idea where either of them are, but I know that if the food is not delivered in a timely fashion, they will try to curry my favor with gifts. I can’t tell you how many times they’ve both placed gifts in my bathtub as a reminder, as if I’ve ever forgotten to feed them.

I’m VERY lucky, they’re relatively well-behaved and sweet. They’ve got attitude, but mostly, they know that they are loved and safe. When I’m in a terrible amount of pain, one or both of them will get into bed as soon as I’m comfortable and either lay by my feet or by my head, and they do not move until they see me calm down and fall asleep, and even then, I still wake up with them close by. There is a sweetness to that which makes me emotional at times. My cat is a lot less openly loving than my kitten, but I have a bond with both of them and I see how they call for me and come to visit me when I’m working. Basically, I get treated like one of them. Perhaps this is why they often place toys under my butt and then try to bite me awake. Sassy’s been doing this since she was a baby, and at 19 months, it wasn’t that long ago that she was the ruler of the roost and tiny, aggressively shoving me awake and demanding food constantly. Now that there are two little beasts, I have them on a schedule. She’s no longer interested in most games (my little one wants to play, but also self-entertains), but is happy to bite my feet or grab my ankle for a nip if she’s feel froggy.

Now that Miss Sass has a constant playmate, she’s no longer ripping me to shreds and biting me. Her breed isn’t known for a lot of verbal communication, so she spent ten months aggressively hurting me several times a day until I found her the perfect little companion. It was NOT love at first sight. It took about a week or so, and they slowly became obsessed with each other. Mini is also incredibly obsessed with me, but she’s still a baby.

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What else is going on? Oh, yes! Because I’m a total hypocrite (And honest enough to admit it.), I am back on Facebook. My original account is still up in the air. Facebook and I have exchanged countless e-mails, and nothing has been worked out, so I waited a while and established a new account. I intentionally linked it to my cell phone which somehow authenticates that I am indeed a “real person” and not the countless things I was accused of in all of their e-mails back in January. If you want to pal around with me, let me know and I will send you my new hypocritical info.

Speaking of which, Facebook has changed quite a bit since I was gone. I am pretty sure someone peed in everyone’s coffee this morning because for every 30 people who liked something I said, I had one person go ballistic. To avoid future problems, I’m keeping a low profile. However, when subjects are open for discussion and you don’t know a person, I think it’s crucial not to call them “OCD” or “rude”, especially since you’re clearly not understanding the context. I was called both this morning by two absolute idiots. Mind you, gutless wonders like to hide behind their computers and spew horse shit.

My first thought was “Go fuck yourself!”, but I decided not to lower myself to their levels. Second, throwing obsessive compulsive disorder around as some sort of joke or insult is incredibly rude, and when one is not a healthcare professional, one has no right to say that to someone they do not know and have never met. That actually IS rude. Disagreeing with someone isn’t rude, we’re all entitled to do so.

I’m a supportive writer. I’m going to be honest, polite, and concise because that’s how I am. I’ve NEVER been rude on Facebook or any form of social media that I am aware of. If anyone has ever read my work and deemed me rude, then that was YOUR perception and not the facts. I’m not Ms. Sweetness & Light, I do not throw rainbows at you, nor do I shoot sugared unicorns when one deserves venom.

There is a fine line between sharing thoughts and being a bitch. I don’t bring out the bitch side unless it is warranted and I don’t do it on Facebook because I have a professional reputation to uphold. If I wouldn’t say something to your face, then I certainly wouldn’t say it behind your back or in a public forum. That’s not how I operate.

People like to throw my astrological sign into play in their “defense” quite a bit, but the truth is, I’m a pretty controlled Scorpio female. I might not always have been, but I learned a long time ago to get the negative aspects under control or they would control me. Lesson learned, and once broken of those habits, I did not return to them.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That’s a load of shit. Words can hurt, they do hurt, and people throw them out there like it’s no big deal. I’m known for my “say anything” policy, but there ARE things I absolutely won’t say because I have morals, dignity, manners, self-respect, and boundaries. Some things are so below the belt that you simply don’t go there. You can think them, but then you must let them go because that kind of negativity breeds more negativity, and it’s unhealthy.

More and more, people are offended by anything and everything, but they care little for who THEY might offend. They have no manners or coping mechanisms for difference of opinion or basic relationship skills. Junior high school drama wasn’t cute in junior high school, and I won’t tolerate it as an adult. By all means, disagree with me. That’s fine. If you don’t know the context in which I mean something, don’t assume, ask. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Overall, I’m glad to have the account for my cousins and the few real friends I have, and for specific things that I’ve discussed here many times, but outside of that, I realize that I don’t miss it and that it’s a terrible waste of time. Who knew I’d grow to love Twitter?! By the way, thank you Lillian for suggesting it, and for clearly being a friend to me when others are full of crap (Link to her blog is attached to her name.). You go away for less than two months and you actually find out who your REAL friends & family are, both on and off social media. How utterly pathetic. True colors are shining bright and a lot of people are chicken-shit yellow. C’est la vie.

Also, there is a brand new blog, started by one of my best friends, that I am going to be interviewed for. I will make sure the link goes up ASAP.

And on that note, I hope you all have a lovely weekend. If you’re an NCAA fan, I hope you’re cheering for my team tonight in the Sweet 16. 🙂 GO DUKE!

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

nobullshit     

Now Please, GO FUCK YOURSELF

Miss Poison Being Real, Facebook, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Things That Enrage Me, Unfiltered, Unnecessary Drama, Writing , , ,

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I heard back from Facebook this afternoon.

I apologize to anyone that followed the Poison In Lethal Doses page or that had me as a friend via the site (you still have me as a friend, and you should know how to find me via phone if we’re really close, or e-mail.).

I want everyone here to know that even after confirming my identity, they have made this claim:

- Your account must list your authentic name and birthday. (It IS authentic, as in FUCKING REAL. I think I know when I was born, it's on all my legal documents! Are we going to crack down on all the hate mongers and question their authenticity? How many people have bullied children into SUICIDE? You're seriously worried about ME being REAL? I am astounded. Is Facebook run by modern-day Nazi's?)
- Personal accounts must represent individual people only. It's a violation of 
Facebook policy to use a profile to represent anything other than yourself (ex: 
celebrities, pets, ideas, objects). (Who the FUCK was I "representing" other than myself?! If you can't tell me the truth about what I supposedly did, you're lying. I don't interact enough on there to have violated anything.)
- Using your account to repeatedly contact strangers for business or dating 
purposes is not allowed. (Yeah, because on top of everything else in my life, I am a hooker and JUST on Facebook. Seriously?!)

Further proof of Facebook's cancerous tumor resides with a writer's group I joined. I was not the only writer/editor in the group and pretty much every editor was looking for work. One in particular said "Will work to pay my rent." I know the problem resides here because as soon as I created a new account to apologize to anyone that might need to know my whereabouts, with the intention of deleting the piece of shit later on today, and joined the group, I was locked out of the new account almost immediately. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to be able to put two and two together.  

If you are a member of this group, be forewarned. I was one of the first 100 members and it has now grown to nearly 3000 people. Someone in that circle has issues, and everyone ought to be very cautious.

Thank you to Facebook for proving what I have always said about it. I apologize to the few people I actually supported wholeheartedly via the site. I will continue to follow you as I am able.

As for Facebook, GO FUCK YOURSELF. And please be advised that I will let anyone and everyone know what a bunch of !@#$suckers you truly are. 

Perhaps I will start a Poison In Lethal Doses Pinterest page instead. As far as I know, they seem to appreciate my honesty and whimsy.  

Love to you all, HONESTLY. 

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

You Don’t Want A Writer On Your Bad Side

Miss Poison Facebook, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Writing , , ,

I have just spent nearly seven hours trying to prove to Facebook that I’m a REAL person and not a computer in India. No, I am not kidding about that last part.

This is one of those ridiculous problems people have been dealing with for several years now with this crap-ass version of social media that people are obsessively addicted to.

At first, I was simply pissed off. Then I did a little research, mostly because I vividly remember someone else mentioning this recently happening to her where Facebook up and decided that she couldn’t use the name she has always used because “it’s not her legal name”. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re not spewing hate, terror, bullying, party to a serious crime, doing something truly illegal, and/or pretending to be a member of law enforcement or our military, you should be left the fuck alone. If you want to post as Donald Duck, go for it. And as a general rule, if you want your privacy, but still want to be a part of this crap, I truly do not care if you post a photo of yourself or not. It’s not necessary.

Overall, I’m not a social media fan. I do use Facebook for my professional career and for this platform. I am able to keep in touch with people I want to keep in touch with, and remain involved with things that are immediate and/or important to me. Beyond that, it’s not necessary.

Demanding that people provide you with their driver’s license, Social Security card, passport, birth certificate, etc., as “forms of I.D.” is BULLSHIT. On top of being a major invasion of privacy, you’re turning your users into even bigger morons.

You’ve risen because this world is full of followers, but I assure you, you’re preparing yourself for a major fall. If it was 2008, I’d still be with MySpace, which never once invaded my privacy or questioned my honesty as a human being.

If this is not resolved quickly, I will officially part ways with Facebook. There is no way in hell I am going to rebuild what it took me four and a half years to establish. Screw that! 

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Poison In Lethal Doses Facebook Page

Miss Poison Facebook, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing ,

Generally the feed on this page is 100% up-to-date, but I noticed this morning that it had somehow deleted several days’ worth of posts. I apologize for that, because I have no idea how it happened. I have since restored them, albeit completely out of order, but they’re present nonetheless if you want to visit, click LIKE, and join in on anything new I might be considering from here on in.

I haven’t decided if there are going to be some guest posts or challenges, but I do have some ideas in the works. Keep yourself updated if you so desire.

Have a great Tuesday everyone! 🙂