An acquaintance of mine mentioned the other day that she threw a birthday party for her eight year old daughter. That part of the story started off innocent enough. After all, it’s a child’s birthday party, not a caviar tasting.

She planned the party and sent out invites, ten in total. When her daughter’s birthday rolled around this past weekend; her daughter sat, all dressed up, waiting for her “friends” to arrive. Not a single child came.

There is something seriously wrong with an exceptionally large group of parents and it makes me sick.

Children are innocent. There is no eight year old on this planet that should know that kind of rejection by peers or general treatment from adults. Especially not on their birthday. The more I think about it, the angrier I get.

Manners, decency, common courtesy, and respect are things we are all taught. I am supremely polite and chock full of manners…until you piss me off. This incident pisses me off. I realize this is becoming a common trend. It is disgusting and it has to stop.

I vividly remember a childhood birthday party that was somewhere between age eight and ten. I still have the crown my mother carefully made somewhere, but I’m certain on the age bracket. It was a surprise party. I knew something was up because everyone was acting really weird and telling me blatant lies. Somehow no one was available to do something the day of my birthday. One parent actually said she was taking her child Christmas shopping. In October. That could have gone very wrong, very fast, but it didn’t. I read the lie and thought it incredibly bizarre. And when my mother claimed we had to stop at a place we never went the afternoon of my birthday, I thought nothing of walking in, until I saw the crowd of friends and family waiting to surprise me. I openly admit, I was NOT happy about it. I had a bit of a tantrum because I didn’t approve of what she’d done. The fact that she had to leave the party to go on a job interview was even more heartbreaking to me, but I will never forget that she went out of her way to do something special for me. The people who wanted to be there were there, and the party still stands out in my mind to this day.

The fact that people now RSVP to children’s birthday parties (or in some cases, ignore the invite altogether), but no longer bring their children to the parties they have committed to attending is disgusting. Why would you not show up with your child in tow? What do you gain out of that level of cruelty aimed at a child? It’s not normal. In fact, it is quite sick. I don’t really care how fucked up parents treat each other, but I DO care about how children are treated, and this birthday party crap is an absolute NO.

Her mother has basically said “No more parties. I’m not going to subject my child to this crap ever again.” That saddens me because if you’d seen this little girl’s face, you’d be sad too. I was proud of her for putting all of the parents on blast via social media, letting them know that her daughter, who always attended all of their children’s parties and brought a great gift with her, along with her fantastic personality, would no longer be attending any of the parties she normally went to. She finished the statement by saying she’d better not see any of them in public. Again, we’re talking about the parents of eight year olds. It’s not uncommon if one or two people can’t make it on the day you’ve scheduled the party, and it’s always a possibility that a child is sick and cannot attend, but as a PARENT, you make a fucking phone call to let the other parent(s) know in advance AND, if you’ve got any real class, you drop off the gift so that the other child doesn’t have to feel like she’s unimportant, cast out, and that her birthday is no longer “special”. Yes, there’s always the chance a few people won’t be there, but all ten? That’s not a coincidence.

I’ve never been an immense social butterfly, but I feel that children shouldn’t be subjected to this kind of crap. Usually this level of shit is reserved for junior high and high school, but now it’s occurring in elementary school and it’s a terrible message to be sending our children. There is nothing normal about this behavior. In fact, it is parents openly encouraging the early stages of bullying. What kind of human-beings are they going to raise with that kind of attitude?! Is this world going to get worse based on this generation of rampant bullying?

I was taught crucial things as a child, and bullying wasn’t on the list. #1- Not everyone is going to like you and you’re not going to like everyone, but you do have to co-exist. In life, in business, in social situations. #2- Treat people the way you want to be treated. #3- Don’t say you’re going to attend anything unless you’re truly going to show up. The only reason not to go is illness you don’t want other people/children to get (I was kept home from several parties due to strep throat, which was absolutely the right call.). #4- Always say please and thank you. Obviously, there were many other things, but that’s the short list for this situation and it all holds true today.

I don’t know what to take away from this scenario other than the fact that far too many parents do not practice what they preach and it scares me to write this from an emotional standpoint, wondering how many of them are lurking behind false smiles. So for all the parents reading this, please don’t spread your douchebaggery to your kids. They might get your DNA, but they do not need poor social skills, nor do they need to be bullies that grow into passive-aggressive adults who attack civilized human-beings in the professional world.

If you’re a parent that has ever pulled this kind of crap, there is a proverbial kick in the ass waiting for you. Harming a child in any capacity is a direct line to some form of hell and quite frankly, if you perpetuate this kind of behavior, you deserve it.

To the little girl affected by this: I promise you that not all children and parents are alike. You will learn this as you get older. Happy Belated Birthday, little one. One bad birthday doesn’t mean they’re all going to be like this. Shake it off, show no fear, do not be ashamed, and grow up to be strong and determined. In 20 years, you’ll be more accomplished than all of these twits.  

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.