Month: January 2017

Full Wolf Moon In Cancer

Miss Poison Cancer, Full Wolf Moon, January, Wicca, Writing , , , , , , , ,

fullwolfmoon2017

Tonight will be the first Full Moon of the year. It is called the Wolf Moon because at this time, hungry wolves would howl up to the big, bright January Moon outside towns and villages. It is also called the Cold Moon, Winter Moon, and the Old Moon.

The word January comes from the Roman name for this month. It was named after the God Janus, the God with two faces. This was the God of the past and future, beginnings and endings.

This Moon is a time of protection and strength for guarding ourselves. While it is the first Full Moon of the calendar year, in terms of nature it occurs in the middle of the cold winter, a season of death and desolation. In this respect, the Wolf Moon can be seen as a time of both beginnings and endings. We have said goodbye to the old year and are now looking toward the new year in front of us.

This is not a light and casual Full Moon. It is kicking off 2017 in a big way, with its prime focus on what needs to shift, change, transform, end, and be released in our lives. We can use this Full Moon to gain clarity on where we are holding on and what we need to let go of.

This Full Moon is in the sign of Cancer, which will give us great strength and courage to meet any new challenges coming our way.

This can be a loony, lunar peak. Standby for moments of irrationality or lashing out. Your emotions will be on high alert for a while so watch what you say to people in heated moments. Try to find some time to relax and calm down and to soothe frayed nerves. It may feel hard to make decisions at the moment, you may feel you’re being pulled in all directions, and are not sure which way to turn. Try to stay calm, and the right decisions will come to you.

The Cancer Moon is reminding you to use your feelings to guide your life. What you think and feel matters. Feelings are your indicators in every moment. Feelings don’t lie. Feelings are never right or wrong. Feelings are the best part of you. Your power lies in what you do with your feelings. Watch out for mental obsession; when we worry we focus on what we do not want. Wherever your mind goes, energy follows. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you do not want to happen.

This Full Moon asks us to make a decision, we will feel at a crossroads; to stay with the old, familiar or to move into the unknown of something new. Try not to go to extremes, it is all about keeping balance. The waters of Cancer may seem stormy now, but they will calm and you will feel clarity and see everything for what it is. This may bring up crisis points, but also the potential for major realization. Breakthrough moments and inner or outer shifts in our personal lives, relationships, home/family situations, and career or life purpose.

We are looking at big changes coming this year, steer the changes in a positive direction. open yourself up and allow love, support, and happiness to enter you life.

Use the water element aspect of Cancer to wash away the old, stuck, negative energy and cleanse your spirit, allowing the waves of energy to heal you, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes, like a phoenix you have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise from the ashes a stronger and wiser you.

Have a blessed Full Moon, and may the Goddess watch over you.

Written credit goes to: Various

Photo Credit: Wicca Teachings

Edited by: Lisa Marino

The Ledge

Miss Poison Depression, Feelings, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, January, Life, Mental Health, Mondays, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing , , , , , , , , , , ,

fibromyalgia2

I’m on the verge of letting go today. There’s no way to pretty it up or sugar-coat the amount of pain I am in, both physically and emotionally. I’ve had enough. Reached the boiling point. Feel as though I am trapped in a maze of never-ending bullshit, and I cannot take another second of this.

Over the past two days I’ve accessed my life and come to this conclusion: apart from my responsibilities and loyalties; my life is meaningless. Well, and truly, meaningless. If I were bleeding on the rug, someone would attend to the stain, but they wouldn’t even notice that a body was present. That’s the truth, whether some people are willing to believe it or not, or admit to it. I’ve witnessed too much to feel or believe otherwise.

I have been in a bad place for so many months now and not a single person has so much as noticed. The selfishness in my presence knows no bounds. There’s zero warmth, care, concern, or love present. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.

I’ve been in tears on and off for almost three days. No one has noticed, said a word to me, asked me if they could help, NOTHING. This is what it feels like to be “the invisible girl”.

While preparing a salad Saturday afternoon, I banged my right hip into the handle for the drawer next to me. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it hurt as if I’d just had the bone yanked out of its socket. I actually bit back 95% of what I truly felt physically in that moment, but I was admonished for being “dramatic”. Please, feel this pain for a week and then tell me how “dramatic” I’m being. Clearly, you don’t know true pain.

I am genuinely experiencing the whole “Princess & The Pea” phenomenon, which is not uncommon when you suffer from an autoimmune disorder that revolves around pain. This particular issue is killing me. I can feel every spring in a mattress in such a painful fashion that I want to hurl it out a window. I “wake up” each morning in stiff, agony. Nine out of ten nights, I haven’t truly slept, I’ve simply given up and taken to lying still, in tears, praying for the pain to stop.

I’ve taken over a hundred Aleve in the past month in the hopes that it will provide some small measure of relief, but it never does. I’ve also taken nearly an entire bottle of Ibuprofen because every flare-up makes me feel like an anti-inflammatory MIGHT help “this time”. The pain is maddening, and constant. I hurt so badly each day that I contemplate walking into the middle of traffic, not caring if I get hit or not. My only issue there is that I’d likely survive and remain in worse pain, if that’s even possible. I don’t want to know, I just want this to stop.

I struggle each day to cope with the pain, with my emotions, with stress, but most of all, the pure isolation and loneliness I am forced to carry with me, because I truly am “the invisible girl”.

When I can’t do laundry, take a shower, and do five other things in the same day, I sit here in tears over the loss of life I am experiencing. I have to set alarm clocks and timers to remind me to do things, or they will never get done. I fall at least once a week. No matter how careful I am, the pain brings me to my knees.

Occasionally, I feel okay. But here, in this moment, I’d gladly take death over this agony. Just make sure Cat and Kitten are adopted into loving homes. Cat is aggressive and a bully, so I think she’d do better in a single-cat home at this stage of her life. Kitten is a sweet little angel who loves her Mommy, but doesn’t understand why I have no energy to play and run around with her. Alas, I can’t explain these things to them. All I can do is pray for better days; just not today. Today is Hell and I am burning alive.

copyright © 2017 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.