WTF Moments & Pushing The Body

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At 4:00 this morning, I thought someone was trying to break into my house. That is precisely how much noise an almost two-year old cat was making in her attempt to climb something, simply to give Mommy the cat version of a middle finger. She scared the crap out of me. I had thirty seconds to decide whether or not to go for a weapon. When I saw her sitting at the top of her destination, all noise has ceased, all I could do was shake my head (Don’t get me wrong, I was PISSED.), crawl from one point of origin to another, and after an hour, I realized sleep was not going to happen, but I was not about to cave and feed them at 5:00 a.m. either, no matter how many times kitten looked at me pathetically and walked me in the direction of the kitchen, as if I am slow and don’t know how to get there on my own. What is it about cats that make us question our own sense of direction? Do your animals accompany you to the kitchen too?

Kitten ate when I got home later than usual last night, but she licked her plate clean. Cat ate maybe six bites in total and ignored me for the rest of the evening. She clearly had other interests and apparently food was not on the agenda. She came to visit me when I was getting ready for bed so that she could get cuddles, kisses, and praise, but truly, she’s become so picky about food that I am considering A) A raw cat diet or B) Cooking for them myself. Both sound insane, I know, but I was reading an article and this women talked about how, by buying meat in bulk at Costco, BJ’s, or Sam’s Club, she feeds multiple cats for less than $5 a week. That is unbelievable, and quite savvy. I’m not sure about all of the supplements she talked about adding, but I clearly understand the meat she uses. That’s not complicated, though it could be if you are spending hours doing nothing but cooking for two cats. However, if it will prolong their lives and make them healthier inside and out, it’s an investment in their future. She talked about how the diet change has reduced vet visits, etc. It’s certainly an interesting concept. It sounded as though all the meals could be prepared once every two weeks, in advance, by freezing them. Again, that reduces how much physical labor you’re putting into it. Technically you could set aside a few hours and do it, the same as you would for yourself. If I do decide to go this route, I will mention it and whether or not it works for me and the littles.

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As for me… I did way too much yesterday and I hurt like HELL. From my neck to my toes, I am moving like a hunchback. If the makers of Aleve knew exactly how much of their product I’d taken between late last evening and this morning, they’d be asking me to sign a waiver, absolving them of any and all responsibility. #HealthcareSucks

When I got home last night I put everything away, changed my clothes, washed my face twice (that may sound like overkill, but the first time I was removing makeup, which I did with the help of a wipe. The second time I was making sure my face was completely clean by traditional methods.), and was relieved not to be out in the humidity that a very popular meteorologist claimed was “92 degrees with 80 percent humidity”. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. From one channel/station to another, be it radio or television, everyone was reporting different temperatures and humidity. One media outlet, in the very same area, said it was closer to 100 degrees with 100 percent humidity. That sounds about right. It was a physical slap to be outside in heat so thick, you could barely breathe. Even if you’ve never had a breathing problem in your life (like me), you walked away from yesterday with some sort of cough or breathing problem. For several hours I thought I was going to be violently sick, pass out from heat exhaustion, or fall and be run over by a car. Even with a large bottle of water with me, there was no amount that would have been “enough”. I also got caught in a heavy thunderstorm with ground to sky lightning. The rain was much more intense than the storm itself and today, more storms, more rain. That’s okay though because underneath my vampire pale skin, I am pretty sure I look like multiple trucks have hit me and then backed over my body. There’s got to be a different way to say “I feel like I’m battered and bruised internally.” However, that is often what Fibromyalgia feels like when you push your body too hard. Alas, shit’s gotta get done and I’m a one woman show.

Today I get to rest. I even went back to sleep and slept soundly, which is surprising, but I’m glad I got that extra few hours. Tomorrow I have phone calls to make and other things to tackle, but all in all, I am going to breathe. There are only 24 hours in a day and none of us are Superwoman. I, however, am not giving back the cape. 😉

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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This Week Is Over

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I’ve had yet another rough, stressful week. I am emotionally exhausted. I’m also in pain that no one should have to be in. In an ideal world, I’d be able to curl up this weekend and not have to face anything until next weekend. No, I’m not delusional, I’ve just had enough.

I am sitting here nursing green tea. I don’t feel well. I woke up with a myriad of health issues. I went to bed in pain, needing Aleve to fall asleep in a state of slightly less pain, but since I forgot to take the medicine that protects my stomach from NSAID use, I’m paying for it.

Upon inspection this morning, I found two chemical burns on the back of my neck. I’m not 100% certain of the cause, but I have my suspicions. One stings, the other is seemingly in the healing phase. I hope they’ll look better tomorrow because the last thing I want to do is be seen in public with what looks like brand marks. Note to self: Must find Aquaphor. How do you cover the back of your neck in August when your hair isn’t as long as it used to be and you normally wear it up? #GirlProblems

Due to the crazy influx of migraines over the last few weeks, I began taking Topamax this morning. I’ve been off of it for three years, so I am hoping it will help prevent some of what I am experiencing. If not, I will have at least made an effort and will know that another treatment method must be found. It is better to try than to dismiss something that has worked so well for me in the past. Today is the start of a month on 25 mgs. Here’s hoping it does more than make carbonated drinks taste funny.

Was anyone able to see the meteor shower? I looked for about 30 minutes last night and all I saw were a few constellations. I couldn’t keep looking, so I went to bed. I’m betting all the fun started the second my head hit the pillow. I’ve only seen a few photos from earlier in the week.

I hope I will be able to concentrate on the shit I need to do over the next few days. I want to get as much work done as humanly possible. I haven’t been able to focus on a large page count with any regularity, but I am certainly trying. All one can do is their best. If that’s not good enough for someone, tough shit.

Summer is nearly over, and soon it will be Fall in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s my favorite time of year. The nights are already getting a bit cooler, but there’s something about the crispness of October air that rejuvenates my spirit.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 

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A Lifetime Isn’t Forever…

“A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is life! A whole bunch of mistakes! But if you never get a second chance at something you didn’t take a first chance at? That’s true failure.” ―C. JoyBell C.