I apologize for not being able to write this weekend, as intended. I’ve been suffering a few weeks now, not knowing exactly what was wrong. I hadn’t been exposed to anyone, so I was more in the mindset that maybe my migraine treatment was not working, which can happen. It’s not an exact science and your body can metabolize certain things faster than the next person, but yesterday things got so bad with my migraines that I went back to questioning what was causing my skull and face to hurt so much.
I took my new CGRP drug (Nurtec ODT) and hoped it would help. It made things considerably worse. By the end of the day, my skull was on fire, and I pretty much knew what was wrong. Because I’ve been suffering for weeks, I also knew I needed to see a doctor ASAP.
I went to Urgent Care to be seen, and to avoid any possible Covid exposure in my doctor’s office this coming week because Boston is still seeing an increase in cases and hospitals aren’t very safe. I’m glad I did. For the first time in a long time, going into a new experience with someone I’d never met before, I was treated like a human-being who was not “drug seeking” or trying to be a pain in the ass. I was treated like an intelligent patient who simply wanted to feel better, not worse. In less than an hour, I had my diagnosis, my prescriptions had been sent to the pharmacy, and I was glad I know my body as well as I do.
I will be down for the count for the next ten days, perhaps longer, though, as they chose to run a PCR test on me for Covid, and the results probably won’t be back until the 14th. Suggesting I hunker down for the time-being was a given. Even though I am pretty certain I wasn’t exposed to anyone who is actively ill, the nurse practitioner thought it would be a good idea since I could very well be asymptomatic. I can already feel the first dose of antibiotics working. This one is new to me and hits hard, almost as if it’s telling you, “You are NOT okay. You’re sick and you need to take care of yourself.” This is true.
I’ve been dealing with so many rough things that when I first started feeling lousy, I attributed it to lack of quality sleep. At one point, during the summer, I was almost convinced I had Covid, except Fibromyalgia patients can experience many of the flu-like symptoms of this particular virus. When I started feeling better two weeks later and had no fever, I didn’t sweat it. I’ve been extremely careful. I am not running a fever. In fact, I’m running at about 95 degrees. I can taste and smell everything far more than one might care to. I’ve mostly had head and an insane amount of face pain, sometimes stemming from my neck (Stress and tension in an arthritic neck is horrendous. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. Add in rain and snow. I wanted to rip my bones right out of my body. My injured foot from January was so bad the other day, I was nearly in tears from the pain.), and this morning I woke up with a sore throat. I am grateful to the person who saw me today because there was a lot of compassion present. I will be informing the company she works for how amazing she was, because everyone deserves to be treated as I was today, but especially as someone who has experienced over a decade of medical trauma, gaslighting, and neglect, it meant the world to me.
If you need me, I’ll be writing and reading this week, in between taking my medicine and resting as much as possible. Oh, and don’t touch my Starbucks cup. As of thirty minutes ago, it became Strawberry Bubly and a heavy pour officially made it 100 proof. When I’m really sick, I usually do a couple of shots of whisky or vodka a day to disinfect my throat and speed up healing. This is a tried and true method that always works for me, and it’s something I know other cultures also incorporate into healing. I can’t hang with you if you can’t shoot straight vodka. 😉 Not the American crap, either. It’s got to be Russian. There are rules.
Everyone I spoke to this week, save two or three people, brought up today’s election. I am trying to be positive, yet realistic. I am not telling anyone who to vote for because I don’t feel it’s my place. We all have different things that are important to us when we vote. I have a list of things I have to weigh in order for someone to get my vote; it’s important to me that I elect officials who’ve earned the spot.
I am an incredibly free thinker. My father used to refer to me as, “My daughter, the liberal.” The truth is, I see things differently than he did and I see things differently than a lot of people do. Also, I am not one for strict party loyalty. That’s not how I envision the future of this country. It would be hard not to see the obvious division.
I’m a registered Independent and have voted this and that way from day one. I remember my voting record from my first election until now. I have always tried to make a fair decision, even in primary elections.
I come from a family of predominantly staunch Democrats (My Mom’s side and my Dad’s. I don’t know the history behind why this became a generational thing.). Often, I avoid political discussions with them simply because they stress me out to the Nth degree. If they suspect you think differently from them, it can become a fight. Never argue with the lawyers in your family; they are determined to argue until they turn one color or another.
My cousin, Amy, represents the 88th Assembly District in the state of New York. https://nyassembly.gov/mem/Amy-Paulin I mention this because I feel the need to be transparent about it. I disagree with some of the things she supports, like gun control, but not everything. She’s clearly done great work for the past nineteen years. Her reputation speaks for itself. Don’t worry; she wouldn’t know me if she walked past me on a street corner anywhere, but my mother and Aunt grew up with her and her siblings. I try to be courteous and respectful about this. Trust me, she hasn’t seen me since I was under the age of six. But, I digress…
For me, as I edge closer to politics to help get certain things changed in various communities, I find myself having to hold representatives accountable. Many people have pointed out that I am the right person for that particular job. Having a strong voice is one thing; knowing how to use it properly is another thing entirely.
I’ve voted in almost every state I’ve lived in, but this morning, I tracked my ballot as it pertains to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and the General Election. 😒 It was accepted last week and is ready to be counted.
After a lot of deliberation, I made a decision I can live with, one I know won’t harm my family or friends. It was not a, “red versus blue” scenario for me. I weighed so many things in my head. Mental health care was first, so that no one in this country slips through the cracks. I know how hard my own battle has been to find the right doctor (and I always make it clear that I am grateful to have insurance. My insurance has been a G-d send.), and to still be searching for a therapist after over a year of searching when my previous one proved to be way too flaky, and that’s putting it mildly. My doctor validated that I have done the hard work of introspection and healing on my own, without a therapist. He feels I’ve done a great job solo, but the truth is, I shouldn’t have to do it without an ounce of support, though he has been amazing.
Women’s rights are important all across the board, and especially women’s health care on every level. I am always going to be pro-choice. I don’t feel insurance companies should be allowed to dictate our care to us, nor should they drop patients with cancer or any high-cost treatment needs. I have never seen a man dropped from his insurance anywhere near as quickly as I’ve seen women constantly being cut off from crucial healthcare over the past ten years. Many women are losing their OB/GYN simply because they are on medication the doctor they’ve seen for 20+ years is not comfortable with them taking, so they are being let go as a patient with a letter of dismissal. The reasoning isn’t even valid, but I’ve seen the exact same form letter sent to hundreds of people all over the country, and I’m sure many more have not shared them with their pain groups or specific advocacy groups. Not a single phrase is different from one letter to the next. Don’t even ask me how pain patients are being treated because it’s getting worse every single day. My own doctor is playing games with my pain and the lack of treatment he is providing. I am angry as hell over how much money I have spent on CBD products in the past five months. Let me be clear; I know it is a privilege to be able to do it at all. I know it is a privilege to do anything to attempt to reduce my pain levels, despite the fact that my insurance fully covers medication I would much prefer to take. I don’t take that knowedge lightly at all.
Countries we give aid to was on the list, as well, because I take issue with how we help everyone (including a long list we should not be giving a penny to), but will allow our own people, many mentally ill individuals, even our own veterans to become homeless and/or to remain ill with no assistance at all. Not everyone who is homeless is an, “uneducated bum”. Let’s be clear about that because too many people say it without realizing how quickly it could happen to them. There are people on the streets with doctorates and truly brilliant, gifted minds. They were allowed to fall through the cracks of a broken system. That is not okay with me.
I thought a great deal about our entire healthcare system. I talked with two of my doctors, and friends who are doctors in this country (and in other countries). I have a few doctors in my family, too. They’re all quite furious with how Covid has been handled here. They’re still fighting for PPE all these months later. Many people were forced to purchase all of their own PPE materials, and they cannot afford to keep doing so.
I thought about all of the small businesses that were wiped out due to Covid. I see more empty buildings than full ones, even in bustling places like Boston, right near Fenway Park. I only know a handful of people who were able to keep things going, professionally downsize to one brick and mortar location instead of 2+, and many who created businesses during the start of quarantine which allows them to create amazing things from home.
I thought about all of the bigger businesses I never could have imagined closing their doors, including hundreds of restaurants which have been around for longer than you or me. I keep finding myself startled by the boarded up businesses that are no longer. It jolts me to my core because I don’t know how we get back to helping the working class, the middle class are the heart and soul of this country, and they have been epically failed. We MUST support our people with financial assistance until there’s a solid vaccine in place that is accessible to all, and we cannot allow them to be called, “lazy”, because there are far less jobs available now than there were this time a year ago. They must receive support until they are able to return to a job safely, and for millions, they will be starting over. No one who is able-bodied and healthy is sitting around not looking for work right now. People have bills to pay and families they provide for. Even if you’re single, you still need to be able to cover your expenses and food.
We must expand legitimate affordable housing and make homes more affordable to purchase. I have watched a lot of new construction go up this year and the prices are beyond ludicrous. Realistically speaking, most people cannot afford $5000 a month for an apartment, and even if they can, it’s beyond wasteful unless it is short-term. Many people can’t afford half that amount, even with roommates to help cover expenses. If you’re paying $2000 a month on rent, minus utilities, you just tossed away $24,000 in a year, and you don’t get any of that back on your income tax return. As a home owner, you are able to deduct a portion of your home each year, more so if you are working from home. Some people don’t make $24,000 a year, so when I say “affordable housing”, I am not saying let people live in disgusting conditions. No way. They should have just as much access to all the, “luxury apartments” that go up daily all across this country. The ultra rich should not be dictating real estate prices to the middle class, or to those who live below the poverty line. Everyone deserves a safe roof over their heads that cannot be taken away from them.
I grew up middle class, in one of the greatest cities in the world. I had no clue my father actually made a very good, often six figure, living and didn’t always make the best decisions with money. One decision he made cost his family a house that would be worth millions or tens of millions now. I try to make the most responsible decisions possible so that I don’t have to look back on regrets that large.
All too many people on the front lines have lost their lives to Covid, predominantly healthcare and food workers, simply by going to work and trying to help others. That is not something I can abide by, either.
I am thinking a great deal about the violence in this country, especially coming from police officers. A man was shot in Massachusetts today, all because one officer pulled his weapon while others tried to contain the situation with a taser, which failed to work somehow. They killed someone who was mentally ill. I am beyond outraged by how many mentally ill people are being murdered in cold blood by officers with itchy trigger fingers. I am equally outraged by police murdering people and judging them based on nothing more than the color of their skin. Racism in this country is at an all-time high, as are anti-Semitic attacks (New York City, take a long hard look at your mayor, governor, and some of your elected “officials”.), and attacks on places of worship from homegrown terrorists. I am all for peaceful protests, but not supportive of destruction of property or burning anything down. Unfortunately, many people don’t feel they have any other choice. 😦 This needs to be addressed, over time. There’s no quick fix for any of it.
Have you been shopping online more now than ever before? I absolutely have. In the ten years I’ve been an Amazon shopper (I might be off by a few years), I have never relied so heavily on any kind of service as I have with Prime this year. I probably see a dozen, or more, Amazon trucks each day. This doesn’t include all of the people delivering groceries in their personal vehicles. Oftentimes a vehicle is down the street and I am the tenth stop. They might be dropping off something minor, like when I had to replace a belt and saw that I was also low on socks, or they might be delivering roughly 80% of my grocery list for 2-3 weeks. Please, if you are using grocery delivery in any capacity, make sure your driver receives a tip. If you want to pay them in cash, put it into an envelope and let the driver know in your delivery instructions where it will be. Show them your appreciation because it is a true privilege to have your groceries brought to you. People in other highly developed countries have not mentioned this to me at all. The drivers may be going to tons of homes, but they’re working harder than you might realize. Be appreciative. Many of them are working for Amazon to make sure they aren’t stuck at home looking for a job right now that may not be available for another year or two. Many of the people who’ve delivered for me were genuinely shocked when I came out with a mask to make sure they got a tip (Sometimes, the credit card system doesn’t allow me to add it in and, obviously, it leaves me frustrated. I don’t want anyone to feel unappreciated.). One woman nearly cried, and I want to stress the importance of being courteous to those who are doing a service for you.
Please stay safe if you’re headed to the polls today. I’ve had people report long and short lines, among other things. I am concerned about people’s safety and the so-called, “poll watchers”. I’ve never rolled my eyes harder, or maybe I have. It will be hard to escape the news in the coming days, weeks, and possibly months. Please place your safety, and that of your loved ones, above all else. Cast your ballot and breathe calmly in the safety of your own home.
Side note: November is #NationalVeteransMilitaryFamiliesMonth. I’m repping #Green💚 for #MentalHealthAwareness and for our #Veterans.
I wore this shirt yesterday (The design has been discontinued, but you can find others HERE by looking for Mental Health Awareness. I highly recommend this t-shirt company. Their products are high quality and the shirts are really soft.) and my first manicure in eight months is Essie in Heart of the Jungle (lighter shade) and Sweater Weather on the ring fingers. Top coat is Nail-Aid Gel Xtreme Shine. Hand care is AHAVA (15% off right now) and Gloves In A Bottle. I will change up the color before Thanksgiving, but clearly, I’m showing my support. I practice what I preach, even if I do it a little more colorfully than others might.
My local Congressman is up for reelection. It’s my second time voting for him. He’s a Marine veteran, and a Scorpio. He’s a crucial component to the future of this nation. As a registered Independent, I proudly back him. No, he didn’t pay me for my endorsement as a #Writer.
G-d help us all. Again, stay safe. 🙏
copyright 2020 by Lisa Marino & Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Please contact your state representatives, Congressmen, and Senators. We aren’t, “all in this together”, unless we’re all using our voices correctly and achieving the goal. Even if you aren’t affected by this yet, imagine how you’d feel if no one had your back if this is what you needed during a pandemic. #UseYourVoice
This is NOT okay. Please help spread the word. Every single unemployed individual in America should continue to receive the additional $600 a week of #PUA until this pandemic is completely behind us, as a nation. #FPUC #ExtendPUA
ExtendPUA.org is doing their best to spread the word about how important the #FPUC is. Most people don’t have jobs to return to; they AREN’T being lazy or anything else politicians are claiming. They are legitimately not working because THERE IS NO WORK TO GO TO. Help me help everyone who is affected and spread the word. #ExtendPUA
Millions of people are out of work and NEED the extra #FPUC assistance to keep their mortgage/rent paid, feed their families, and cover basic necessities. They’re not flying to New Zealand on this money; they’re trying to survive a pandemic that has destroyed jobs, small businesses, livelihoods, families, and the list goes on. The toll on people’s mental health is awful. Let’s help them without judgment. Please share this and credit ExtendPUA.org for their hard work and efforts. Let’s #ExtendPUA and help everyone get through this. #Congress #StateRepresentatives @elizabethwarren @edmarkey @sethmoulton
I, too, have noticed what is most important to people. The shallow depths are obnoxious as hell. People are behaving as if this is suddenly over and life can go back to “normal”. Life is doing no such thing, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better off you’ll be. The fact that people are now traveling to different countries by choice and going on vacations is a bit much for me. They aren’t wearing masks, gloves, or doing anything to protect themselves or those around them. And they’re taking great lengths to justify traveling with a newborn, and traveling in general. All of that to be at the beach? Really?! Perhaps I take it for granted because I am so close to the beach, but I’m not spending my time at a packed beach, park, or anywhere that involves crowds. It can wait, and it will.
I am at risk every time I pick up groceries in between Whole Foods and Amazon Fresh deliveries, which, let’s face it, is a privilege. Not everyone can have the bulk of their groceries delivered. It took me several months to even get a delivery slot. Once you have it, you’re good for future slots. I only have one complaint about my order, but that’s for Whole Foods to deal with. I am still going to places like Walgreens, PetSmart, and Trader Joe’s because they’re close by, and I still have medication and other things that I normally replace every few weeks. Trader Joe’s is doing the most to keep things clean, like sanitizing the shopping carts in front of you, and putting distancing labels on the floor so you can get what you need, get on line, and get out quickly. They’re still limiting how many shoppers are in the store at a time, so I don’t feel overwhelmed in there. PetSmart is predominantly empty. My cats still need supplies each month, so I do my best to make sure they have what they need.
I am usually a regular at my nail salon; rarely going as long as three weeks in between manicures. I worried they might not survive being closed for several months, yet I have not been back since they’ve reopened. I may not return until September or October. I’ve reached a new level of , “Who cares?” regarding my own nails because many regulars are over 70 and require people to socially distance. I would feel like an absolute hypocrite if I went running in for an appointment immediately, as so many people did. I say this out of concern. One person I am semi-familiar with went running to her salon for a mani/pedi and two days later she had a staph infection. I trust my salon and I’m friendly with the owners. You will never see me post a photo of an infection asking people online what I should do about it. I would NEVER go back to a place that made me ill in any way, and I would definitely report it to the owners, and to the board of health. Where there’s one staph infection, there are others. I will pass, for now. I can use foot masks temporarily until I feel safe enough to return to a “new normal”. It’s important to find out what they’ve done to make their customers, and themselves, safer. I know when I do call for an appointment, they will have answers for me. Yes, going in might make me feel better after the past four months of pure isolation, depression, pain, and misery, but at what cost?
My hair salon went out of business. I knew this was a strong possibility, especially when my colorist left a few years ago (Her new place of business was looted during a protest in Boston, so the owners don’t know if they can rebuild or not. This woman has been amazing to me from day one. She has guided me with maintaining a difficult hair color, got it sponsored for two straight years which saved me a fortune, responds to questions I have each month regarding what to use, especially when I am unsure about making it darker, richer, extremely vibrant, or lighter. We came to an agreement about lightening it up a bit for summer, in case I want to go back to my natural color in a few months.). I want to stay with the same stylist, but I have no idea where she will end up working or if she even feels safe to return to any environment involving hair right now. In the meantime, I found two alternative options and I am definitely going to get a significant trim as soon as possible, but I am doing so after reading all of the precautions put in place in order to protect their customers and employees. If your employees don’t feel safe, then the customer will pick up on that very quickly. Knowing that Ulta took care of their employees the entire time the stores were closed makes me much more willing to give them my business. The places that didn’t take care of their employees, well, it shows.
My point in all of this is that I am okay to run and get a much-needed hair cut, but I am not going to put myself or others at risk for something I view as frivolous. I wear a mask, I wear gloves, I carry hand sanitizer with me (I have actually done this for ten years. Mini sanitizers from Bath & Body Works are especially perfect for your purse. They are about to begin their semi-annual clearance sale, so if you don’t have a little one for even the shortest outings, theirs are fantastic and you can shop the sale online. Dr. Bronner’s has sprayable hand sanitizers, which are an excellent backup or first choice. I’m currently carrying one of theirs, along with a Warm Vanilla Sugar from B&BW. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s are carrying Dr. B’s, and their website has them for direct purchase, as well.), etc. I wipe down everything that comes inside with Clorox wipes. I’m sure I look nuts when I’m doing this, but these are necessary precautions. Every little bit helps.
If you’re refusing to wear a mask, think about the possibility of you infecting those you love the most in life. Plenty of people are asymptomatic and don’t know they’re walking carriers, so every time they walk past someone who is already at risk, they can be making that person sick or leading them to their death. We aren’t being punished by being asked to wear a damn mask while in stores.
I am choosing to be smart this summer. I don’t have to go anywhere weekly, but I can get my hair cut and it’ll remain in good shape until Fall. In this, I feel like it’s all right, but if I had to go monthly, I don’t know if I’d take that risk seeing as how I will be going to someplace unfamiliar. And because there will only be one or two people there at the same time, it’s okay. There’s some distancing involved and I’ll still be wearing a mask. I’ll still be washing my hands and the stylist will be following specific protocols, as well.
At my next essential doctor’s appointment in August, I very well might be the only person in the waiting room, and that is perfectly fine. It went well in May, and I know it will be fine moving forward. I’m not ready for crowds and I don’t think any doctor’s office is prepared for this, either.
I agree with nearly everything this writer mentioned. I have gone as far as refusing to discuss the virus with people because they’re obsessed and I am not. I would rather read a book, do some research, or write, than listen to people’s fears. Only one person took offense to my saying that I could not be a Covid 19 dumping ground. They took this personally and turned it into a fight. Via text. Did you just roll your eyes? Trust me, it gets worse and I will be discussing it, but I feel like many of us have had enough of the constant influx. I do NOT want to sit in front of any news coverage via television, online, or the radio. There’s a limit and I have met mine. There’s no point complaining about it because everyone is going to do whatever the hell they want. I want to continue to make the smartest choices possible.
I’ll be here; keeping my distance and trying to maintain a sense of normalcy within my own day-to-day activities. I encourage everyone to do whatever makes them feel safe. We’ve never lived through something like this, so there’s an obvious learning curve, but it’s also a necessary one.
Wishing you all a healthy, safe 4th of July weekend.
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 