Emotions, In My Experience

“Emotions, in my experience, aren’t covered by single words. I don’t believe in “sadness,” “joy,” or “regret.” Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I’d like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, “The happiness that attends disaster.” Or: “The disappointment of sleeping with one’s fantasy.” I’d like to show how “Intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members.” connects with “The hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age.” I’d like to have a word for “The sadness inspired by failing restaurants,”, as well as for “The excitement of getting a room with a minibar.” I’ve never had the right words to describe my life, and now that I’ve entered my story, I need them more than ever. ” ―Jeffrey Eugenides

People Assume…

“Mental illness.

People assume you aren’t sick unless they see the sickness on your skin, like scars forming a map of all the ways you’re hurting.

My heart is a prison of, Have you trieds. ‘Have you tried exercising? Have you tried eating better? Have you tried not being sad, not being sick? Have you tried being more like me?’ Have you tried shutting up?!

Yes, I have tried. Yes, I am still trying, and yes, I am still sick.

Sometimes monsters are invisible, and sometimes demons attack you from the inside. Just because you cannot see the claws and the teeth, does not mean they aren’t ripping through me. Pain does not need to be seen to be felt. Telling me there is no problem, won’t solve the problem.

This is not how miracles are born. This is not how sickness works.” ― Emm Roy