Honesty
Only Ignorant People Walk Away From Greatness
“Dignity
/ˈdignitē/ noun
1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache.
2. The moment you realize God has greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes.
3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education, and your parent’s wisdom.
4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.
5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.
6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes time, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion, and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it, or God prevented it.
7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don’t want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.
8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.
9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.
10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.”
―Shannon L.Alder
Fucked Up Parents
An acquaintance of mine mentioned the other day that she threw a birthday party for her eight year old daughter. That part of the story started off innocent enough. After all, it’s a child’s birthday party, not a caviar tasting.
She planned the party and sent out invites, ten in total. When her daughter’s birthday rolled around this past weekend; her daughter sat, all dressed up, waiting for her “friends” to arrive. Not a single child came.
There is something seriously wrong with an exceptionally large group of parents and it makes me sick.
Children are innocent. There is no eight year old on this planet that should know that kind of rejection by peers or general treatment from adults. Especially not on their birthday. The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
Manners, decency, common courtesy, and respect are things we are all taught. I am supremely polite and chock full of manners…until you piss me off. This incident pisses me off. I realize this is becoming a common trend. It is disgusting and it has to stop.
I vividly remember a childhood birthday party that was somewhere between age eight and ten. I still have the crown my mother carefully made somewhere, but I’m certain on the age bracket. It was a surprise party. I knew something was up because everyone was acting really weird and telling me blatant lies. Somehow no one was available to do something the day of my birthday. One parent actually said she was taking her child Christmas shopping. In October. That could have gone very wrong, very fast, but it didn’t. I read the lie and thought it incredibly bizarre. And when my mother claimed we had to stop at a place we never went the afternoon of my birthday, I thought nothing of walking in, until I saw the crowd of friends and family waiting to surprise me. I openly admit, I was NOT happy about it. I had a bit of a tantrum because I didn’t approve of what she’d done. The fact that she had to leave the party to go on a job interview was even more heartbreaking to me, but I will never forget that she went out of her way to do something special for me. The people who wanted to be there were there, and the party still stands out in my mind to this day.
The fact that people now RSVP to children’s birthday parties (or in some cases, ignore the invite altogether), but no longer bring their children to the parties they have committed to attending is disgusting. Why would you not show up with your child in tow? What do you gain out of that level of cruelty aimed at a child? It’s not normal. In fact, it is quite sick. I don’t really care how fucked up parents treat each other, but I DO care about how children are treated, and this birthday party crap is an absolute NO.
Her mother has basically said “No more parties. I’m not going to subject my child to this crap ever again.” That saddens me because if you’d seen this little girl’s face, you’d be sad too. I was proud of her for putting all of the parents on blast via social media, letting them know that her daughter, who always attended all of their children’s parties and brought a great gift with her, along with her fantastic personality, would no longer be attending any of the parties she normally went to. She finished the statement by saying she’d better not see any of them in public. Again, we’re talking about the parents of eight year olds. It’s not uncommon if one or two people can’t make it on the day you’ve scheduled the party, and it’s always a possibility that a child is sick and cannot attend, but as a PARENT, you make a fucking phone call to let the other parent(s) know in advance AND, if you’ve got any real class, you drop off the gift so that the other child doesn’t have to feel like she’s unimportant, cast out, and that her birthday is no longer “special”. Yes, there’s always the chance a few people won’t be there, but all ten? That’s not a coincidence.
I’ve never been an immense social butterfly, but I feel that children shouldn’t be subjected to this kind of crap. Usually this level of shit is reserved for junior high and high school, but now it’s occurring in elementary school and it’s a terrible message to be sending our children. There is nothing normal about this behavior. In fact, it is parents openly encouraging the early stages of bullying. What kind of human-beings are they going to raise with that kind of attitude?! Is this world going to get worse based on this generation of rampant bullying?
I was taught crucial things as a child, and bullying wasn’t on the list. #1- Not everyone is going to like you and you’re not going to like everyone, but you do have to co-exist. In life, in business, in social situations. #2- Treat people the way you want to be treated. #3- Don’t say you’re going to attend anything unless you’re truly going to show up. The only reason not to go is illness you don’t want other people/children to get (I was kept home from several parties due to strep throat, which was absolutely the right call.). #4- Always say please and thank you. Obviously, there were many other things, but that’s the short list for this situation and it all holds true today.
I don’t know what to take away from this scenario other than the fact that far too many parents do not practice what they preach and it scares me to write this from an emotional standpoint, wondering how many of them are lurking behind false smiles. So for all the parents reading this, please don’t spread your douchebaggery to your kids. They might get your DNA, but they do not need poor social skills, nor do they need to be bullies that grow into passive-aggressive adults who attack civilized human-beings in the professional world.
If you’re a parent that has ever pulled this kind of crap, there is a proverbial kick in the ass waiting for you. Harming a child in any capacity is a direct line to some form of hell and quite frankly, if you perpetuate this kind of behavior, you deserve it.
To the little girl affected by this: I promise you that not all children and parents are alike. You will learn this as you get older. Happy Belated Birthday, little one. One bad birthday doesn’t mean they’re all going to be like this. Shake it off, show no fear, do not be ashamed, and grow up to be strong and determined. In 20 years, you’ll be more accomplished than all of these twits.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
As A Direct Result

I’ve decided that today is going to be a work-free day.
I went to bed this morning sick as a dog. I suspect my brief time out yesterday affected me more severely than it ought to. Within a few hours of coming home, I got my fourth migraine of the week. I took a brief nap and I wasn’t entirely okay afterward, but now? UGH!
Sadly, with migraines, you often question whether you did something wrong, ate the wrong thing, etc. All I did was go out in tremendous heat for an hour and a half and come home. It wasn’t a lot of physical exertion, but my body says otherwise. I had a mild headache upon returning, but it wasn’t until I actually felt pain in my head that I took something for it. By 7:30, as my neighbors attempted to power wash something right near my bedroom window, I contemplated outright murder. My ears simply cannot bear the noise, and what are they up to at this precise moment? Yard work. At 9:23 a.m. On a Saturday. When it’s already 85 degrees and a heat advisory has been issued for the entire area, AGAIN. Schools actually closed early yesterday, if they opened at all, because it was over 100 degrees with the humidity and people were experiencing breathing problems. But hey, dumb & dumbest need to make noise on a yard that requires no work at all this week. This is where I would like to point out that I refrained from putting #TheyNeedToBeShot. I’m not a violent person…just don’t make noise when I’m sick or on any day ending in a y.
As a direct result of this migraine/heat/stomach agony, I’m trying to decompress this morning. I’d rather be asleep, but I desperately need to hit the grocery store. Not a fun task, I do not look forward to this, but I am going to try going once it cools down. There’s no point in making myself any sicker by attempting to do it early on in the day. Everyone and their grandmother will be there to capitalize on the digital coupon extravaganza, which has already turned into an epic fail because 9/4’s of the coupons don’t come off at the end of each order, which means customer service is inundated with questions as to why they didn’t work and precisely “Where are my savings? Are you going to give me my money back?” Actually, the store is set up to make sure you actually loaded the coupons on to your savings card in the first place. If you didn’t use the physical coupons that were also provided for the week, chances are you didn’t get the savings on those four items. I clipped all of my mine last night and will print up a few others later on. I’ve saved nearly $1000 this year alone in coupons at one store. That is a small accomplishment, but it feels good every single time I look at my receipt.
I’ve completed all of my work this week (though I am seemingly still loosely on the consulting job), except for the manuscript, which I will devote more daily time to next week in my attempt to complete it. I’m not looking forward to that, I’m simply tired of seeing it and knowing that it’s not complete. I do NOT relish the line of questioning that will come with the delivery, but since I stated in the contract how much time I will spend on answering questions before charging again for my time, I hope that will make the client aware that I mean business. It’s in black and white, how hard is it to follow guidelines?
Before I forget, I want to thank Writerstream for featuring my work this week, and I’d also like to give a huge shout out to the dozen or so new Twitter followers in the last 12 hours alone. (Special thanks to Lillian for encouraging me to join Twitter. Hugs sweet pea!) I never knew I’d grow to love it so much. To the friend that reads my Tweets and isn’t afraid to joke with me and laugh, I appreciate it. (You know who you are, doll!)
If you need me, I’ll be here for the next few hours. Drinking coconut water. Praying that it helps. If it doesn’t, I’m seriously considering an ER visit because this level of pain is out of control.
Have a great weekend everyone! And please, stay out of the heat and wear sunscreen.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Safe Places
There are no safe places any more.
There is only anger, violence, hatred, weapons, and blame.
Words get taken out of context, because one cannot grow up and handle the truth.
Responsibilities are ever-present.
Mental illness is not something to be bandied about or laughed off.
Throwing people’s issues around breeds contempt.
But you cannot use it as an excuse to not seek help.
Reaching out for answers… Looking for support.
Danger is too present.
Shutdown, shot down, carried away.
No, there are no safe places today.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
How To Be A Client An Editor Wants To Work With
Author’s Note: These are all true experiences. I will never name names, but I’m not going to filter my honesty either. If something I say here offends you, then you probably don’t want to be a writer.
Not every client I work with is a breeze, but a small percentage are truly fabulous (One I had this week was wonderful.). There has been a tiny percentage over the last 20 years that have enraged me with their constant inquiries, rude comments, whining, tantrums, or those who simply do not understand the process.
It’s 2015, so I think it’s important for writers, especially new writers seeking publication by any means, to understand that editors are human beings. We have families, we have things that go wrong in our lives, and no matter how much we may love what we do, we’re just like everyone else. We have bills to pay, we have responsibilities, children to raise, meals to prepare, animals to care for, homes to clean, clothes that have to be washed, etc. Why would you treat your editor as a lower life form and expect them to respond well to you? I wouldn’t treat a stranger the way some people treat their editors, so here are a few things I feel are crucial information for you to have.
If you’re about to work with an editor or are currently in the process, even for the smallest project, here are some surefire ways to be a good client and not make said editor contemplate a move to a Brazilian rainforest (Another good goal is not to end up on a list of clients they’ll refuse to do business with in the future.)
#1- Don’t call or e-mail within 15 minutes of sending them your manuscript to ask if they’re finished. I JUST started. I’m on page three. Why are you asking if I’ve read the entire thing that you JUST sent to me? Precisely how does one get it into their head that a non-magical entity has just inhaled 100,000 words (or more) in 15 minutes?! It is annoying to the point of something more severe. Here, let me whip out my magic wand… Don’t do it, and if you’re thinking about doing it, lock your phone in a drawer and change all of your passwords to stifle yourself.
A good editor will update you during the process, there is no need to nag. You may find yourself so excited that you can’t help but constantly send your editor messages, but eventually, even the best editor is going to lose their patience with repetitive questions. The only time it’s acceptable to keep track of them is, if by some strike of lightning, you never hear from them again, which happens to people on occasion. However, a person that responds to you and keeps you updated is working, and you probably aren’t their only job, so be patient. Take this from a person who is being nagged every few days by a client. If strangling were legal…
#2- Don’t say rude, insensitive, inappropriate, idiotic shit. If an editor lets you know right away that they are dealing with any kind of emergency (We’re people, life/shit happens and it’s not always good.) decide whether or not you can hold out. If they are in the middle of the work, let them finish. Continuity is important. Hiring another editor to do what they’ve been working on is a headache because that person will only start from the beginning and make changes more suitable to their style, and that’s additional time, and money, being spent.
If they just started working and you’ve barely paid them, it’s okay to move on if need be, but don’t take hostility out on them or, if you agree that you can wait, don’t send them messages every few days, or weekly, to ask about the progress. Let them work. If I have to stop what I’m doing to answer your repetitive e-mails, I might not be pleasant, polite, or anywhere near the word “professional”. I might give you one word answers. If I respond three days later, that does not mean I was ignoring you. It means I was working. Don’t make assumptions.
#3- Realize that every freelance editor does not have a team behind them and/or a slew of assistants. I’m a one-woman show. There are days I knock out 25,000 words in the editing and/or proofreading process and there are days I am only able to get through a few pages. The dirtier the manuscript, the more face time it requires.
#4- Read your work in advance before you submit it. You might even want to read it twice. Use spell check. Hell, use a grammatical tool so I don’t stare at the page flabbergasted by your complete and utter lack of knowledge regarding the use of the English language. “Did she actually write “ancestory” instead of “ancestry”? I think I’m having a stroke. (This happened to me Thursday.) That is not a typo (look at where each letter is on your keyboard), it’s someone trying to sound out a word and failing, miserably.
#5- You may have a few self-published titles under your belt, but that doesn’t make you a writer. Yeah, I said it. Anyone can self-publish. If you don’t have an audience to sell to and a solid story, don’t make it out to be more than it is. There are some exceptions to this rule and they are people who have properly marketed themselves as a brand. I know a few of them and their decency measures up to the quality of their writing.
#6- You cannot self-promote anything that isn’t edited, clean, and ready to go. It’s childish and unprofessional, and it’s not going to work in your favor the second a prospective agent Googles you and finds your blatant self-promotion, for a book they may or may not want to buy, in places they probably don’t want to see it. They might like your chutzpah, because you will need those skills later on, but they’re not going to want unedited excerpts on every writing web-site from here to Calcutta. Know when to hold things close and even better, know when to keep your mouth shut. Unless something is a done deal contractually, zip it. Afterwards, I’d still refrain.
#7- Write what you know. If you’re choosing a place you have never been and will never visit, you’re not going to capture the essence of the most crucial things, and a local resident or someone who has been there is going to pick up on that immediately. There may be a lot of competition to write about things in major cities, but if you’ve actually made the statement that Johns Hopkins University and their respective Hospital are in New York City when it most certainly is not (Hello, have you ever heard of Baltimore, Maryland?! Unless I’ve had a recent lobotomy, they’re both still there.), I strongly recommend NOT making New York City your setting. (Yes, this happened. I had to walk away from the crazy because insistence does not make something truth.)
#8- Speak to me, on the phone & in e-mails, the same way you want to be spoken to. If you’re incessantly rude, eventually even the nicest person is going to snap. Ultimately, treat people the way you want to be treated, in all things.
#9- You may love your editor, but he/she is not your bestie. Unless we’re genuine friends outside of work, I cannot take time to counsel you on your marriage, friendships, parents, or children. Not when you constantly ask me “Is it done yet?” It’s NOT a piece of chicken.
#10- An editor who knows his or her shit is going to push you to be better. We are going to tell you to re-write, revise, and altogether tell a better story. It’s our job to dissect what you’ve written and help you make it into a cohesive, readable body of work. Telling you it’s the most fabulous thing I’ve ever read when it is not and kissing your ass for writing it “in three months” is NOT in my job description. I can tell when something took no time at all.
#11- There is a relatively long list of words I will cut out of a manuscript the second I see them in an overly repetitive fashion. “Very”, “Awesome”, “Seriously”, “Really” “Totally”, “Umm”, “Just” “Ya” as opposed to “Yeah”, are merely a few. The deal-breaker is “Alright”. I flip my lid every time I see it and you’re out there calling yourself a writer. Don’t insult me, I’ve been writing for 28 years and I’m almost positive I have always known that “all right” is two fucking words, not a creative amalgamation for the lazy. If ever I DID make errors like that, there was always someone present to correct me.
The occasional slip-up is not the end of the world, but if you regularly use the word “Y’all”, or any variation thereof, please exit stage door left so I don’t throw something. I realize it’s a part of some people’s daily vernacular, but if you’ve written it into a book that does not take place south of the Mason-Dixon line, I’m cutting it.
#12- If you want five hundred pages edited in 1-3 days, you’re either looking to hire a machine or highly intelligent zoo animals. Let me know how that works out for you. (This is a regular request. These are the same people who think this level of editing shouldn’t cost more than $30 U.S., not Canadian. I would rather starve for a week than do that much work for so little money. That’s not even my current hourly rate!)
The very best editor for you is someone you have fostered some sort of professional, communicative relationship with, maybe even someone you know who edits and who you have come to respect, but it’s not the person you picked out of a line-up as the cheapest person for the job. Unfortunately, sometimes you get what you pay for and other times you find someone amazing. It’s the luck of the draw.
At the end of the day, I do not have all the answers. I have 95% of them, but not all of them. 😉
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.









