“So many people cover-up things within themselves. They smile when they really need to frown. They “laugh” nervously when they are uneasy and uncomfortable. They try to make it “all right” so everything can be “perfect” and “fine.” We do this to be accepted. We do this because people guilt us into acting perfect. We fake perfection, so others don’t have to experience any unpleasant realities, because their life is just as fake as ours.
If some people came into contact with anything real, they would be shocked out of their minds. This phony life builds up inside of you until one day you erupt like a volcano, and you don’t know why. But, some people don’t explode, they implode. They fake perfect until they disappear forever and become someone else’s version of who they “should” be. Either way it’s a total loss of life. You are lost because you have not been honest with yourself, and your life is largely unexamined and unexerted. You have to do some thinking and know who you are, and then you have to resist compromising your truth for the comfort of others.
Don’t intentionally be rude, but be you. Some people will see you as an asshole because they don’t understand honesty, integrity, and honoring ones’ self. Witnessing honesty frightens some people because they haven’t known authenticity in their own life. But really, your abrasion is the rub they may need to open themselves or at least cause them to think. In a world of sleep-walkers, an awakened mind is a teacher and a catalyst for new awakenings, whether they want to be or not. A moment of truth is very powerful.
Instead of smiling to be polite, frown. Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, speak your truth. Instead of acting like everything is all right, proclaim it isn’t all right, and talk about your feelings! Honor your truth. Honor yourself. Be real. If you can honor yourself and be real about your discomfort and pain, then your happiness will be just as real. If you can’t be real and firm with others about who you really are, you will be doomed to a phony, plastic bullshit existence, where you only live for others. When you are real you can move through what ails you, instead of being stuck there forever in some sort of “Pleasantville” hell.” —Bryant McGill
“The reason why human beings fail to create real connections with others is due to the fact that they are not first real within themselves. If you want your connection with another to be real, then you must first make sure that you are real in yourself, thus giving the other person a genuine ground to anchor into. People color themselves different shades that do not match their own, and then they are surprised why they fail to create lasting relationships with other people! You must be the shade that you are, because the shades that you paint on will all wash off eventually, anyway. Be the shade that you are, and attract the people that like the real hue of you.” ―C. JoyBell C.
“Just do what you do and do it well. Stop worrying about what other people are doing, or what they will say about what you are doing. Just do what you do to the best of your ability. Whether people like or agree with what you do is not the issue.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
I have always had an immense connection with my friends, especially my best friends. We do outgrow friendships and relationships at times, but the very best friends grow with you. I am immensely blessed in this department. There is much to be said for being a loyal friend who will always have someone’s back.
I agree that women have the tendency to apologize way too often for things that they didn’t even do.
If someone bumps into me, the only time I let it slide is if it’s completely unintentional. But if you’re walking through a store with a metal shopping cart while on your cell phone, ignoring everything and everyone in your visual field, and you hit me in the back, I am going to contemplate whether the jail time is worth it for being hit in a spot that can cause serious harm. If you don’t get the hell off the phone and apologize immediately, I am definitely going to say something in a tone that isn’t anywhere near polite. Especially if you just did it in front of your children, thus giving off the impression that it is acceptable behavior. I don’t care if you’re male or female, that is just plain wrong.
I’m NEVER going to apologize for being myself and speaking my mind. I am not going to neuter myself to appease others.
It feels like a horrible Monday, the way my brain is fogged up and refusing to fire on all cylinders. No, I haven’t been drinking, but apparently having a holiday in the middle of the week has screwed me up, BIG TIME.
I did manage to get a lot of work done this morning. Considering I have a migraine that is coming and going, that’s astounding. I did have to remind myself not to edit this person’s work (When I edit, it’s probably because it’s necessary, but also because I am a fixer of words.), merely to critique it and give an honest opinion. That is going to prove VERY hard. I sat here for over an hour with my jaw damn near on the floor while I read.
I am professional. I adhere to very specific guidelines, but I am truly astounded by the idiocy submitted to me at times. It’s easy to miss a word here and there, to lose track of little things, but it’s another thing entirely to write for the sake of writing. It’s like listening to a person talk, except you’ve tuned them out after the first 100 words and now you’re staring at them in utter amazement that they haven’t noticed that you’re just not listening. When I space out, I often feel disconnected. For me, it’s not entirely dissimilar to an out-of-body experience. However, when I’m reading something that feels like someone is rambling for the sake of rambling, I stare at the screen and think “Did someone REALLY write this or is there a hidden camera here somewhere?” I’ve contemplated looking.
For today, I think the best thing to do is focus on my health. I’ve already done some work, far more than I originally intended to do, so tomorrow is another day, or later perhaps, if I feel like being masochistic.
I’m in excruciating pain from this migraine and the rest of me from the neck down to mid-thigh doesn’t feel so hot either. I’m disturbed that today is Friday, but will take the weekend to really rest (and work). Next week has its own battles, none of which I am looking forward to. However, my faith is strong and I believe everything will work itself out. Not because I’m being unrealistic, but because I have a very good sense of self and most of what I am attached to. Sometimes I think we’re trapped in the middle of someone else’s major life lesson, and while it doesn’t always feel good while we’re in it, it’s important to remember who you are and exactly what you are capable of.
I know many people teach their children that they can “be anything they want to be”. It wasn’t much different for me, however my mother never would have encouraged or supported anything short of talent. If I wasn’t good at something, she would say “Don’t quit your day job.” Not to be mean, but because she was a firm believer in my talents and did not believe in sugar-coating anything regarding her children.
I’ve heavily doubted and questioned a lot of my talent over the last year or so. Maybe I’ve had those issues deep inside my own head without even realizing it for far longer than I know. I’ve made myself sick from the doubt and unending questions in my mind. It’s a bit like being brainwashed, except you’ve done it with one negative moment where you allowed yourself not to fully be you. The second you allow a sliver of doubt in, it takes over.
I adamantly refuse to allow anything or anyone to tell me who I am. I refuse to be defined by other people’s beliefs or opinions. Ultimately I can refuse these things because I know who and what I am. At the beginning and end of each day, I am a fighter. There is great power in that, I just have to remember to allow the fog to clear.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.