Unbelievable!

2014-11-262014-11-26 Miss Poison Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unbelievable Crap, Work, Writing Annoyance, Editing, Idiots, Unprofessionalism, Work, Writing

Writers can be an incredibly quirky bunch, but occasionally you come across someone SO incredibly ass-backward and unprofessional that you find the entire situation utterly unbelievable. You almost expect hidden cameras to be shown to you at any given moment.

Long story short: A potential client contacted me over a manuscript he’d like to have edited. Eventually the listing closes, and even after saying he wanted to hire me, I hear nothing. I continued to follow-up. In the meantime I take another job, because I am not about to wait for this guy to get his act together. A few days ago he leaves me a new message, asking me to call him. I do, and I leave him a voice mail message. I specifically detailed in the message that he could call me back when he was ready to do so, and I followed it up with another written message. No response. No return phone call. I am not about to call him every hour on the hour until he calls me back. One message is enough. The e-mail message was more than I’d do for most people who have yet to sign on yet.

I come home tonight after a long day and he has re-listed the job. I had suggested that he re-list it, but I also told him I would still take the job and adhere to what we had previously agreed upon as far as what I would do and the original price I’d quoted him. Instead of listening to me, I had to submit an entirely new proposal, but this time I made sure to state that we’d already agreed upon this job and he had never gotten back to me. Why would you even bother asking someone to call you if you’re now accepting offers from other people for the very same job that, several weeks ago, was “mine”? This truly makes no sense and it annoys the crap out of me.

Unless I hear from him within the next few days, I am washing my hands of the situation entirely. I’d rather deal with someone professional than someone who can’t get their shit together.

Little things like this TRULY annoy me. I saw the job re-listed and my jaw nearly hit my laptop keys. I could not believe the stupidity and immaturity of it all. Mind you, he had the option of inviting me into the job, so clearly he can’t even follow simple instructions, which I detailed specifically in my last message to him. I cannot imagine what that manuscript looks like and now, I could not care less. He’d have to pay me triple to touch it.

A Short Week

2014-11-24 Miss Poison Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Unfiltered, Writing Fibromyalgia, Goals, Moving Forward, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Work, Writing

A Short Week

As we steadily approach Thanksgiving here in the States, it means a short work week for many, and for others, it means a miserable time of year where you have no choice, BUT to work because you work in a mall or an individual store that will be absolutely PACKED as of Thursday afternoon or early evening. Retail employees should be paid quadruple during this time of year, it makes me cringe knowing the conditions they are forced into and the schedules that take them away from their families.

I know some people think I am “so lucky” to work for myself. In some ways, this is true. I set my own hours and I choose the jobs I want, but it also means I have to work my tail off on every single job, or I am completely unable to pay my bills. Some years are definitely better than others. Here’s hoping the holiday season leaves me booked solid, and with some decent eBay sales to help keep me moving in the right direction.

I’m still not feeling great. Today was pretty awful, so I am glad I took the time to rest and focus on myself for a little while, without pressuring myself and allowing negative thoughts to enter my mind.

Sometimes I think if we keep moving forward, we move towards better things, better people, better situations, inevitably moving towards the finish line of each goal we set.

May every goal you set for yourself, however large or small, not be hell to attain.

Another One Bites The Dust

2014-11-212014-11-22 Miss Poison Cooking, Editing, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Word Count, Work, Writing Baking, Cooking, Editing, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Work, Writing

At approximately 9:00 this morning, I submitted a completed, edited manuscript back to my current client. Ten days, four revisions, and I am DONE. I felt incredibly exhilarated by that. I think it is, by far, the fastest I have edited in a while, but factoring in that everyone gives me projects with different word counts, I still think I did rather well. I delivered way ahead of schedule since this wasn’t an absolute must until January 1st. All in all, I am pleased.

I had a little health scare this week that I didn’t mention, but now that I know I’m okay, I feel like I can breathe a little easier. By the Grace of God, it wasn’t what I thought it was, and I am eternally grateful for that.

It’s hard to believe Thanksgiving is less than a week away. I have been trying to plan my “menu” here and there this past week. Last year, while not traditional, I did break out my recipe for stuffing. If a recipe is passed down to me, I have perfected it over the years. The stuffing was my Mom’s original recipe. I don’t know where she got it from because my Grandmother didn’t cook, but my Great-Grandmother did. Even still, this stuffing is not typical of what one might expect. It is very easily made vegetarian with a few little tweaks, but I’m not making it this year. In fact, I don’t plan on making anything even remotely traditional. No turkey, no stuffing, no cranberry sauce, nothing one might expect. It’s one big plain NO. After some consideration, I found a happy alternative.

I have absolutely nothing against traditional Thanksgiving Day fare, I’m simply not going to do all that prep work for less than 4 people. It’s a lot of work and since I am the one cooking, I make the rules. A 12-16 pound turkey is a waste when only the white meat will be eaten. It’s wasteful, but it’s the truth. So, no turkey. If I do happen to qualify for the free bird at my local store, I will donate it to one of the churches in the area or give it to a neighbor who I am sure will either cook it or donate it. Either way, someone wins. The store I go to does offer some alternatives, but if none of them can be utilized by me, it’s best to donate.

I know the stores will be jam-packed next week, but since I’m not going near anything traditional, I should be okay. I can listen to the playlist for my book instead of the Christmas music I am almost certain to be attacked by upon entering, and go about my business. It will take two trips to two different stores to get everything I need, but I will be incredibly grateful if I am able to do so, and still come in under budget. What I’m planning will last for 3-5 days, but it will get better from the first bite ’til the very last and I’m looking forward to having some fun with it. I am also considering a little baking. I considered it last year and ended up not doing it. Two different types of cake have been requested, and each of them sounds really refreshing for some reason, so I am going to try. They can both bake at the same time, cool at the same time, and be frosted next to one another. Easy. They’ll both last about a day, only because everyone here has a sweet tooth. At least by baking them, I know exactly what’s going into them, as opposed to buying them, where the ingredients are listed, but make me cringe. What I have planned, even with the baking, won’t even take me two hours to pull together. Another person is in charge of an add-on that he suggested, but everything else is me. He did offer to help, but I hate it when anyone hovers over me in the kitchen like I’m fine china and might break. UGH!

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Do you have any traditional dishes you make that are absolute MUSTS? Leave me a comment and let me know. Also, how many people are making dishes that are Pinterest inspired?

My Thoughts On Ghost Writing

2014-11-162014-11-16 Miss Poison Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Anna Taylor, Brandi Glanville, Ghost Writing, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing

My Thoughts On Ghost Writing

One of the first things I learned as a writer is that if you can’t do it yourself, don’t fucking do it. Yes, it’s really that simple, at least for me.

Walk into any bookstore and you will find millions of books. Sadly, many of them are not written by the person whose name is branded on the cover.

I am NOT talking about the people who have their name and then, underneath their name in smaller print it says “With…” That’s not truly ghost writing, but in some instances it can be. A lot depends on things that are generally discussed behind closed doors. Most people will never admit to using a ghost writer, even if they do.

One example I constantly get asked about is Brandi Glanville, who I absolutely adore. If you’ve read either of her books, while secondly credited to Leslie Bruce as a writer, you can tell that it’s Brandi’s voice. She has gone on record saying that Leslie helped put her thoughts into a cohesive manner, helped talk her out of certain things, and that her editor helped even further, but that everything else was all her. Leslie has gone on record saying the exact same thing. Her book agent, Michael Broussard, has also publicly stated that it is indeed her work. I don’t, for a single second, doubt this to be true. In other instances, with other people, I DO doubt the validity of their claim because I know for a fact that they handed someone else some notes and got their name published as the sole person involved with what is clearly a shit-ton of work, without so much as crediting the person who did the actual work.

I am not a fan of the ghost writer. The concept itself annoys the shit out of me. Why the hell would I pay someone else to do what I am personally talented and capable of doing myself? I wouldn’t.

I see ads all the time. “Ghost writer wanted for….”, and then I see what people are willing to pay. It is not uncommon, especially with e-books. One person wanted a 250 page Sci-Fi story done in ten days or less, not just written perfectly, but completely edited as well. Not only did they want to take full credit for it, asking you to sign a waiver absolving yourself of any involvement whatsoever, but they were only willing to pay $30 to whomever would take the job. Do you know how insulting that is to a writer of quality?

If you’re a ghost-writer and it has been, or is, profitable for you, then good luck & God Bless, but I think it’s important for young writers not to allow themselves to get caught up in this idea.

Don’t ever give your hard work away for free, and don’t ever let someone else take credit for the work that you do.

Don’t toil for hours, days, weeks, months, or years and allow someone else to be the one signing those books at a book signing. Write your own material, even if it DOES take you years to accomplish. Pour your soul into it, that will show the reader something about you. Don’t fall into a cookie-cutter mold of what you THINK you should be writing, saying, or thinking. Dare to be original. Dare to be yourself. Dare to dream and inspire.

If you allow yourself to be the writer of your own work, you also become the writer of your own destiny. Isn’t that what life is all about?

Welcome & Thank You

2014-11-13 Miss Poison Editing, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unfiltered, Work, Writing Editing, Gratitude, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanks, Unfiltered, Welcome, Work, Writing

Readership has really grown a lot in the past month, so I wanted to say hello to all of the new people that have kindly followed, liked, and commented. It is a joy to read messages from like-minded souls. I see everything, and I appreciate all of you for stopping in. I especially have to thank my friends who followed me from the old blog (which I still do), to my main focus, which is this platform. It’s nice to get feedback based solely on true merit.

While I try to post daily, sometimes my brain is a bit shattered, so I try to share nice things with you that I’ve come across, or that inspire me in some way. Sometimes I will address specific issues or causes, and you don’t have to take them to heart, you can breeze through or past them, but I do hope they’ll be of some value.

I am currently editing a new novel, which is an interesting, fun challenge. When you grow up with specific mysteries and stories, be it in book form, film, or even on television, it is always nice to see them brought back to life by someone new. It’s nice for me to step outside of my own work world, which is drastically different, and immerse myself in a world of someone else’s creation. I was pleased to discover the client is already published and successful, so that was a nice surprise, and I’m so happy to be working. It does mean I will work straight through the holidays, but quite frankly, I appreciate the distraction. It’s been a rough year. I will be happy to take the good from it, leave the negative behind, and move into a new year with a lot of newly absorbed knowledge about myself and those around me. It’s important to look ahead, because looking behind you only causes chronic neck pain.

Beyond all of that, I can say that Fall is winding down. The trees on my property are blowing leaves all over the place. The two larger trees were bright, lush green and are now dappled with yellow and peach. The Japanese Maple will slowly transition from stunning plum leaves to a bright red, but as of right now, they’re still holding strong. It’s my favorite of the three trees and it’s also the one that was still pretty young when I got here. The air is now turning bitterly cold, which makes my Fibromyalgia flare-up in unpleasant ways. Every muscle in my body hurts and every joint feels like I’m Tin Man from the Wizard Of Oz and need to be “oiled”. I can feel the cold deep within my bones, especially anywhere I have an injury. Gymnastics isn’t always kind to you years later, but the same can be said for all sports.

It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I haven’t even sat down to make a tentative menu because I don’t know how many people I will be cooking for, but I’m also not that interested. I think the sentiment behind the day is awesome, it always has been, but it is greatly ruined by the pre-Black Friday crap that is already being advertised. I’m much more concerned with making a nice meal and having a day of movies or books to keep me happy. That’s my usual tradition. Perhaps I will re-read a series of books throughout the holiday season, in my spare time.

Are there are books you like to re-read during this time of year? If so, leave a comment and tell me what you re-read and why.

The Little Things

2014-10-212014-10-21 Miss Poison Being Real, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unfiltered, Work, Writing Honesty, Laptops, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Reading, Work, Writing

You know you’re a writer who lives and dies by her laptop when replacing your laptop battery is a big deal. What’s worse, you’re excited about the fact that you got it for a good price and it should be here sooner rather than later. The fact that I considered getting a second one “just in case”, is probably just a sickness.

The next thing I will have to replace on my “not even old laptop” is some of the keys. They’re all still firmly attached, but if you didn’t know where all the letters are on the keyboard naturally, you wouldn’t be able to read E, R, T, I, O, A, S, H, L, N, M, the period key, or half of the space bar. HP and I disagree on the pricing, so I’m definitely not replacing the keys through them.

One of my best friends and I would always laugh about this, because with longer nails, we both had to take Sharpies and write what key was what on our old desktop computer keyboards. Hers was a nightmare. I tried using it once and after Sharpie-ing all of the letters in, never touched it again. She came home one day and laughed hysterically at what I’d done, but it was necessary. Her keyboard was different from mine, but apparently we’re both rampant keyboard abusers. We won’t discuss how many times the tip of one of my nails gets stuck between the keys, which is always a sign for me to file them down to a more desirable length. This time, it’s happening Friday or Saturday. I want nice nails for my birthday, even though I have no plans. (Yes Riley, I’m being ever-so subtle here. You’d better be bringing me chocolate, diamonds, or chocolate covered diamonds, but I will also settle for chocolate covered strawberries. 😛 ) However, no matter what the plans entail, I will be watching The Good Wife. That’s definite.

I made it through a few more chapters on that read-through yesterday, but not before calling the intermediary to make sure I was protected in case this guy acts like a douche bag again and I am forced to back out of the job. I am protected, which gives me a sense of calm. I messaged him a chapter update and he seemed like a totally different person, but later sent me revisions to a chapter I have not yet read. Yeah, I know, I had the exact same thought. I did a little research and discovered that this guy likes to hire women to read his work. In nearly two years, I don’t think he’s hired a single man to read his manuscript. I have a theory on that, and it’s not because every woman I’ve ever met is thorough, has great attention to detail, and gives solid feedback. I honestly think I’m being misjudged here, AGAIN, but since I probably don’t have a lot more work to really do, I am going to try and stick it out. In the meantime, I am actively looking to line up something more challenging. I nearly fell asleep during chapter four. That doesn’t bode well, but it could just be the lingering whatever I have in my system that caused me to pass out yesterday afternoon. Even now, since I’ve been up since about 4:00 a.m., I am feeling exhausted. It helps that, thus far, it is dreary outside.

For now, I am going into my own work for the second time in two days. Yesterday I revised my acknowledgements, today I’m going to re-read the big fight sequence and see how it plays out in my mind. I am certain there’s more that can be added, but I don’t want to force it. When I don’t feel at my best health wise, it’s always okay to back off a bit on the external shit.

Sometimes People Ask For Way Too Much

2014-10-19 Miss Poison Authors, Boundaries, Idiots, Poison In Lethal Doses, Respect, Stress, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Unnecessary Drama, Work, Writers, Writing Editing, Idiots, Reading, Work, Writing

Here’s something important you all need to know about me. Above all else, I am supremely professional. However, if you’re antagonistic and you push my buttons right out of the gate, I will remain professional until the job is done, but I won’t ever be anywhere in the vicinity of nice ever again.

Some clients, generally the ones I don’t work with, want a LOT for NOTHING. I am doing a read-through. I was asked to make notes of corrections that need to be made, and I did that, in red. Since I wasn’t asked to edit, I simply provided notes. They were detailed. “This is missing a comma.”, “There is a spelling error.”, “Revise this for grammatical errors.”, “Look this over and add some necessary material. The sentence and/or thought is just hanging.”, stuff like that. Unless you’re a moron, that means you re-read the fucking paragraph and make the corrections. There are children that can follow these very simple instructions, why can’t you?!

I respectfully asked the client if he’d like the work back as I go through each file, and he said yes. I sent back the first file, which contained one chapter. ONE. I then receive a message hours later saying my notes were “cryptic” and that he’d like a “higher level of feedback”. Mind you, I’d only sent back the first chapter. It was fine and I provided feedback, but how much needs to be said about 6,000 words unless it’s really bad?

This was enough to make me want to say something vile and unprofessional. This made me want to say “You’re not paying me to do anything more than a read-through, yet I provided notes. Find your own fucking errors!” If I had submitted the entire book back and only gave 2-3 lines of feedback, that would be one thing, but I’d only submitted back a chapter, which he’d asked for. I included notes at the end and my thoughts. Sometimes, when you’re reading something new, you don’t have a lot of thoughts after a prologue or even after reading that and chapter one. Sometimes it takes 3-5 chapters before you feel like you know the characters and have a feel for the story. I don’t know a single author/writer that will disagree with me.

However, this son of a bitch pushed my buttons. I am sick, so I probably should wait until I feel better to deal with douche bags, but man, I hate idiots. If you’re asking me to do a job, I will do it thoroughly. It is certain that our styles may or may not mesh, but don’t disrespect me or act superior. You’re not paying me enough to give me attitude, and I will never take it, because I don’t give a fuck who you think you are.

Treat your editors, beta readers, and agents with respect. Don’t expect them to do every single thing for you, because it doesn’t work that way. The first time you treat me like your professional toilet cleaner will probably be the last time I ever work for you again, and you can put that in a pipe and smoke it!

Once Again

2014-09-22 Miss Poison Editing, Work Editing, Patience, Work, Writing

Once again, I find myself astounded by the audacity of people. There are jobs in this world where you truly DO “get what you pay for”. I have a healthy respect for money, but as a writer, there are some things I’m not willing to do in order to earn pennies. Maybe that sounds horrible, egotistical, or snobbish, but as someone told me over the weekend “You’re trying to respect yourself through this process, and I get that.”

Yes, I am. If you want me to turn a 100,000 page novel around in perfect, ready to publish order, and you want it in 24 hours, please don’t expect that to happen for $25. If you DO expect that to happen, please go to Craigslist and/or a local high school, and find someone who is far less experienced than I am because I simply do not have the time to read through all that work, edit it, and provide you with a detailed report on each chapter within 24 hours. I read these “job offers” and think “Wow, have you got a pair of BALLS!”, or “You’ve GOT to be fucking KIDDING ME with this shit!” Lets be honest, after taxes, it’s pretty insulting.

If any of my readers would like to hire me for a job, please contact me with a comment and any pertinent info (contact me here first if you want to send me a few chapters to give me an idea of what it is I’d be working on.), I’ll glean your e-mail address from it. I can work with reasonable budgets (I do understand and respect them, just don’t insult me.), fiction or non-fiction, poetry, etc., and help you produce a product you are proud to send off to literary agents and/or editors. I’m tough, but I’m fair. I am also happy to be contracted to you for 3, 6, 9, 12 months or longer, being paid on a monthly basis, if that is easier for you. I have found in the past that this is easier for many people and works better for their budgets. I work fast, I work carefully, but I also have a passion for what I do. I enjoy helping others because, due to the fact that I sign a non-plagiarism agreement as standard procedure, editing allows me to focus on my own work when I write, and your work when I edit. I wouldn’t have over 19 years of editing experience if I sucked. I have signed non-disclosure agreements for the work I have edited in the past, so please don’t ask for that information.

Happy to help anyone that needs it. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

Have a good Monday. 🙂