Full Hunter’s Moon In Taurus

2015-10-272015-10-27 Miss Poison Full Hunter's Moon, Full Moon, Taurus, Wicca, Writing Blood Moon, Full Hunter's Moon In Taurus, Full Moon, Halloween, Hunter's Moon, October, Samhain, Taurus, Wicca, Writing

Tonight is the Full Hunter’s Moon, named so because people would use the brightness of this Moon to go hunting and gather meat for their families. It is also known as The Blood Moon because between now and Samhain/Halloween was the harvest of flesh, it was the time when the farming community would slaughter cattle and preserve the meat to last through the winter months.

Tonight’s Full Moon is rising in Taurus. This is a time of great change. The universe is giving us so many gifts and chances now, don’t be afraid to take them and to dream of bigger and better things, ask for more, do more, be more. Look at what may be holding you back and get rid of it, the Taurus Full Moon is about new starts, getting rid of the old and bringing in the new.

So much of what has been suppressed is coming to the light now and shining so brightly that we cannot ignore it any longer. This Full Moon is about truth and seeing what is really there, not what we want to see. In life we can often see illusions about ourselves, illusions about others, and illusions about our world. All of these will start crumbling away so we can rebuild on what is real and true.

This Full Moon is a time of healing and cleansing, of getting rid of our negative junk, and moving ourselves into a new and positive direction. Look at all the good things in your life and look at how to improve upon the bad things. It’s time to take a deep look within ourselves and become more aware of what makes us feel comfortable and secure.

With this potent Taurus energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives. It’s time to make some solid, yet realistic plans for the future.

Tonight’s Full Moon has an earthy, yet romantic quality and will bring a new wave of calm and peace with it. The gentle dusting of energy brought by this Full Moon will allow us all to restore and recharge our batteries and perhaps feel even more comfortable with our situation and where we are at. We will see with clarity what we need to do to heal and grow. Now is also the time to really get in touch with your passions and desires and work on making them a reality.

Have a blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Full written credit goes to Wicca Teachings.

Edited by Lisa Marino.

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/10/supermoon_oct_26-27_2015_last.html

The moon was truly enormous and bright last night. I tried taking photos with my cell phone and tablet, but none of them were able to capture the beauty of what I was seeing. I hope you all got a chance to see it in its full glory. 🙂

Aches, Pain, and Shooting Stars

2015-10-212015-10-21 Miss Poison Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Baseball, Creativity, Fall, Fibromyalgia, Ideas, My Birthday, October, Orionid Meteor Shower, Pain

It is unbearably difficult to move today. Everything hurts ten times worse than it did yesterday. 😦 The only non-painful part of my body are my toenails. That is sad, at least from where I’m sitting. Pain like this is torture and no decent human-being should be forced to live like this. I’m not stating that others should live like this, I’m just making a distinction. Unfortunately, some people bring a different set of horrors into their lives through their actions and behavior, but I digress.

I should physically shutdown for the day. I’ve already taken some pain relievers and I am trying to stay out of all rooms that whisper my name and give me packing ideas, or tell me how I’ve failed at completing every single task. I’ve intentionally left the boxes downstairs and the packing tape upstairs, because if they’re not in the same room as one another, it means trekking downstairs to get the boxes and quite frankly, my knee is in deep protest. All I can emotionally and physically manage today is giving myself a break. Maybe I’ll pack a few boxes tonight during the baseball game, but in the meantime, I need to stop.

The back and forth craziness that is the current weather is making my allergies insane. It’s so warm out today, you’d never know it was nearly the end of October. The leaves are changing color at a rapid pace. A few days ago one of my favorite trees was green and lush, but now the leaves are a deep shade of eggplant. That’s the color they’ll remain until becoming a vibrant crimson. I will miss that tree.

Tonight is the Orionid Meteor Shower. Don’t forget to make a wish if you happen to see a shooting star. I still remember the first time I saw one. Growing up in New York City, seeing a sky full of stars was rare, but the first shooting star was an amazing sight. I’ve seen other amazing things since leaving, but I still have a deeply profound respect for shooting stars, and rainbows. They will always be treasured things of beauty.

My birthday is next week, just in time for the Full Moon. I hope I’m able to enjoy one day to myself during all this madness because I guarantee that crunch time will be extra-crunchy. Thankfully, it is boosting my creativity and giving me a multitude of new ideas that I had been waiting to suddenly smack me upside the head. Soon, I’ll be back to filling pages, notebooks, and drying out all the “good pens” as I make huge pots of soup to fuel me through the cold.

Getting there is a battle. I just want to be in one piece when all is said and done.

New Moon In Libra

2015-10-13 Miss Poison New Moon, Wicca, Writing Change, Energy, Libra, New Moon, October, Uranus, Wicca, Writing

Tonight is the New Moon in Libra. This is a time to find a real balance in our life physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. With the waves from the lunar eclipse still rippling through the atmosphere, it might be a good time to stand still, take a breath and center yourself.

With this New Moon you may be feeling irritated, misunderstood and have little patience for people, this can lead to arguments and upset. We may be initiating ourselves into a process of truly feeling all our wounds, pain, anger, and rage. Try to stay calm and weather the storm as it will pass in the coming days. Think before reacting too quickly, try to come from a place of kindness and understanding, keep away from negative thinking.

The Libra New Moon will give us a bolt of energy, so if things have felt sluggish and slow lately get ready as things will now start to shift and move a lot faster. Use this energy to get jobs done and to shift things into a positive direction. This will be a productive New Moon, with a promise that the scales of justice will be balanced and we will get what we deserve, whatever work we put in we will get in return.

Uranus will play a big part in this New Moon as Uranus is associated with sudden changes and revelations that are unexpected and can be very exciting, so be ready for some big surprises coming over the next few weeks. You can use the Uranus energy to bring on big changes and transformation. Get rid of the old clutter holding you back to make room for new opportunities coming your way.

The message of this New Moon is to find balance, knowing when to push and when to rest. Take a step back and look at everything more clearly. Now is the time to start clearing out junk, both in our homes, work, and in our emotional lives. Expel negativity and try to let go of any bad thoughts and feelings by looking at how to improve any situations rather than just complain about them. The Libra New Moon holds magical healing power. We are in a profound cleansing and clearing cycle. Allow the deep emotions emerging from the unconscious to be healed.

Have a blessed New Moon and may the Goddess watch over you.

Written & photo credit goes to Wicca Teachings

Edited by Lisa Marino

Think Pink

2015-10-07 Miss Poison Breast Cancer Awareness, October Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Early Detection, Mammograms, October, Think Pink

Cancer has deeply affected my family on a personal level, so any time I am able to speak up about it, I will.

As someone who had two breast related scares in the last year (As far as I know, I am fine.), I can only say, male or female, breast cancer can happen. If something doesn’t look or feel right, get checked immediately. In fact, you can look for free mammograms this month in many cities and you’re never too young, or too old, to get checked. Early detection gives you a greater chance at survival.

Take an hour and do something important for your own health and peace of mind. No one else should have to lose their life, their mother, Grandmother, sister, Aunt, cousin, best friend, etc., to breast cancer.

Mammogram your boobs instead of Instagramming them.

All I Want Is A Nap…For Now

2015-10-03 Miss Poison Emotional Pain, Pieces Of Me, Writing Emotional Pain, October, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

I packed for nearly eleven hours today. That’s a record for me with Fibromyalgia, because the last time I had to make a big move, I flat-out shut down emotionally (and physically) and hired a moving company. This time, I am doing every damn thing by myself. You know where you stand with your friends and family when everyone scatters the second they hear the word “move”. This is precisely how people get cut from my “When I win the lottery” list.

However, packing drills home the fact that this is a really big house and while half of the house is already packed, I’m more concerned with the day-to-day stuff and the things that make me emotional. Family photos, art, DVD’s, the books in my living room that are organized in alphabetical order (They don’t call it OCD for nothing!), everything in my kitchen that I’m attached to, hell, even my nail polish collection makes me weepy.

I’m tired. This is my body’s way of saying I need a break, some food, and maybe more than the three plus hours of sleep I got last night. Despite going to bed early, I woke up at 1:00 a.m. and I’ve been on a roll ever since. The plus to all this: I tossed a TON of crap without glancing twice at it. Do I need the bridal magazine from 2009? NO. Can I donate these books to the library? YES. Do these craft items need a better home? YUP!

I packed one of my suitcases and ended up cleaning out four of the drawers in my armoire (They were FULL, this was no easy feat.). I had no idea I had so many things, but my closet is next and I suspect that will be 20 boxes of “How long have I owned this?” I’ve already donated a ton of clothing to different charities between last year and this year, but I found a local place that will buy new and gently used clothes from me, including shoes and boots that have never been worn that I was unable to sell on eBay, so I might as well make a few dollars while I have the chance and see if I can turn that into a new work outfit or something I need to get me through Winter. If I can move with significantly less crap, that’s one less stress in my head. Hell, I threw makeup out, you know I mean business!

Unfortunately, I’ve overdone it. I can barely keep my eyes open and I can’t have another conversation about whether or not to keep something, sell it, donate it, or throw it away. I’d sell a bodily organ if someone would pack everything for me, transport it to my destination, and do all of the unpacking, thus allowing me to sit in a corner and watch a spot of paint on the wall.

Happiness has an expensive emotional price tag. Putting myself first for the first time in my life means I am walking away from my life and starting over. To one person involved in my decision, it means “abandonment”, but that isn’t the real truth, it’s their perception of the situation. It’s their intent to make me feel guilty, thus lulling me into changing my mind, which in my eyes, means dealing with a form of tyranny for God only knows how long. I feel torn between demons, and I’m not 100% sure of that analogy, I just know that I want and need PEACE.

I need quiet when I am sick, as opposed to someone barging in and waking me when I’ve only been asleep for an hour. I need privacy. I need to be able to say “I’m going to bed.”, and have someone respect that, even if that means they don’t see me for two days. When I am dealing with migraines and Fibro flares, I don’t need to be told that I’m “using it at a crutch” or “You’re just being lazy because you don’t want to do something.” (I once had someone vacuum while I was on vacation in the middle of a migraine. It was 7:00 a.m. and I contemplated murdering them, but ultimately hoped they’d finish quickly, before I went into the living room and threw up on the rug.) And when I’m in a dark place, I don’t ever want to hear “Just kill yourself already, I’m tired of hearing about it.” That is NOT what you say to someone who considers suicide regularly, or even just once a week. And NO, I feel no shame in being honest about that. I’d be more ashamed if I pretended my life was perfect and that I had no emotions, or pretended to be strong every single day of my life when the fact of the matter is, no one is strong 100% of the time. We all have moments of doubt. It’s called “being human”.

Insensitivity and hatred directed at you when you need to focus on your health and rebuilding portions of your life is unhealthy. I want better, I deserve better, and I cannot allow myself to be guilted into the stupidity of others. (FYI: I am not discussing a romantic relationship. I would NEVER allow abuse in a situation like that. Perhaps some day I will discuss what I’ve been through, I started writing about it months ago, but today is not that day.)

So, on this rainy, windy Saturday evening, I hope that everyone has had a happy, productive day. I overdid it and I’m already feeling the aches and pain, my back is sore and I HURT, but I have to keep believing that it will all get done. Ultimately, me being okay in the end is probably more important than anything else.

Beginnings, Endings, and New Beginnings

2015-10-02 Miss Poison Loss, Love, Motherless Daughters, Pieces Of Me, Tears, Writing Change, Emotional Pain, Endings, Family, Life, Loss, Love, My Mother, New Beginnings, October, Pieces Of Me, Writing

It’s utterly surreal how much my life has changed in the last eight years. I set out on a specific course, reached a major fork in the road, chose a direction, a dream, and now I am starting over with a dream I’ve somehow managed to keep hidden in the back of my mind, all the while making movements towards it. “Everything happens for a reason…” Sometimes that sounds like horse-shit and other times, it’s the absolute truth.

In the last eight years I have lost, loved, lost, and continued to love. Every single time I think I am shut off and that my capacity for love is gone, I am proven wrong. On this day last year, I brought an angel home. Today that angel is officially a year old and while there are a great many types of love, this one is pure and special. I feel blessed and honored to be in the presence of this love. This is the kind of love that keeps you alive and gives you purpose. It reminds you to keep fighting and keep living, even when you truly don’t want to. Even when you say “No more!”, that love is present and let’s you know that it’s okay to feel the way you do, and that you’re completely accepted.

Once or twice a year, I do a Celtic Cross Tarot Card reading for myself. I don’t do readings for anyone else because it makes me uncomfortable, but my own readings are so accurate that they bring me to tears. My most recent reading was dead-on accurate and I remember being slightly in denial at the time, but now I realize it was a message, and it was telling me exactly what I’ve been telling myself for the last few years. I liken it to a loved one treating you badly in public and a stranger stopping you to tell you that you deserve better. You KNOW you deserve better in your heart of hearts, but sometimes hearing it from someone else’s mouth is the push you need. Many of my readings are like that. In fact, all of them are. I’m really quite disturbing with the metaphysical.

Today would normally be a celebration of something else, but this year I celebrate love and new beginnings. That is the right direction, that is the answer, and I needn’t attempt to dissuade myself when I know the answers.

My mother wrote a letter to me before I was born. I found it after she died. It said “Sometimes you have put yourself first, but it doesn’t mean you’re being selfish.” She was a supremely unselfish woman and she raised me to be pretty unselfish as well. Of all the people I have lost, it’s my Mom’s voice that I can’t always remember, until I read something she wrote or a memory comes flooding back and I hear her say my name the way only three people in my life ever did. Looking at photos this morning, I realized just how much I miss my family and how I’ve never given myself time to grieve.

Thankfully, I know that there are all a part of who I am and that they’re not truly gone. Bits and pieces of each of them live on inside of me, and so, with every ending comes a new beginning.

This phoenix is ready to spread her wings and fly. She’s already been through the fire.

Another Sleepless Night

2015-10-012015-10-01 Miss Poison Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Cat and Kitten, Insomnia, Musings, October, Stormy Weather, Strength, Survival, Writing

No, I haven’t been to bed yet. Yes, I’m aware it’s nearly 8:00 a.m. EDT. No, I don’t normally sleep during the day, but the Full Moon leading into the time change screws with me badly. On the plus side, I was pretty productive overnight and this needs to continue until next month. I can sleep for the rest of the year if I just get through this month.

If I can survive this month without having a stroke, heart attack, or complete nervous breakdown, I will truly be able to say I can get through anything. Though honestly, one can say this after they’ve buried both of their parents while both parents were still young, a multitude of friends, other family members, and deeply loved pets. Pencil me in for sleep and ignoring the world come mid-November. I’ll keep in touch though, and I’m sure I’ll be my usual poisonous self. 😉 None of you would respect me if I became disgustingly chipper and pretended the world was made of cherries & chocolate.

After two and a half days dealing with the migraine spawned straight out of hell, I was finally able to declare that the “migraine has ended” via the app I’ve been using since last month. For those that asked, it’s called Migraine Buddy and is available for Android and iPhone. I tried a few others that I immediately deleted after a few hours, this one is the best out there. After you’ve had a certain number of headaches, you’re able to pinpoint your triggers and you are also able to have the app forward an e-mail to you each month to bring to your doctor. That’s valuable. The fact that it tracks your sleep is also pretty cool, though I openly admit it creeped me out the first time it did it. I hadn’t adjusted the setting or touched my phone, but when you wake up and grab your phone, it will ask you to verify the time you went to bed and woke up, so it’s good to glance at the clock before getting into bed, or if your memory is foggy, jot it down on a post-it note so you won’t forget.

Since I don’t watch the news, Case Study #2 felt the need to report the weather to me, as if I don’t have a weather app on my phone to tell me ahead of time when and if the sky might fall. <rolls eyes> I was informed that I needed to “prepare for the weekend” last night, even though it was a Wednesday! I have no appetite whatsoever (I ate two cookies this morning so I wouldn’t faint. The cookies were Case Study’s idea, not mine.), Cat and Kitten have food, and there’s toilet paper and iced tea. I’m good. Case Study does not understand this because he’s a guy and in his male brain, I need to be reminded to eat. Perhaps he thinks I will wither away. If I do, I’d like to donate my ass to a country in need. It is predominantly kosher (I just laughed out loud, I’m not sure how anyone else took that, but I’m generally not here for comedic purposes).

And so my captive audience, I leave you in peace. Cat and Kitten were up watching me all night because apparently Mommy needs to be watched when she does weird things that are out of character, so we’re all extremely punchy. I think sleep on a stormy day is the perfect excuse to get what my body and mind need in between the chaos.

To everyone dealing with this storm, be safe. It’s cold, windy, and I’ve officially turned my heat on. Yes, it is officially October!

Wishing you all a wonderful, safe Thursday wherever you are in this great big world of ours.

October, You Glorious Friend

2015-10-01 Miss Poison Baseball, Hockey, Life, October, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, The Future, Writing Change, Fall, Life, My Health, October, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, The Future, Writing

f6891c082a92c034d2d8924f17562465 — These are important things to keep in mind as well.

It’s not a secret: Fall is my favorite time of year, and October and November are two of my favorite months. October is a birth-pride kind of thing. I don’t care if it’s sunny year-round in California, because to me, that’s hell. Peace is watching the leaves change color. It’s not having one or two “crisp” days and then returning to more sunshine and 70+ degree temperatures. To me, that’s inhuman. I’d die a slow, painful death. Plus, my SPF use would skyrocket just to go to the mailbox. 😉

I am an Atlantic Ocean loving East Coast girl. I could die over the Atlantic and be perfectly okay with it. I’m a Water Sign and there’s something very calm about it to me. Bodies of water make me happy. In a world where not much does, that’s truly saying something.

October is many things for me: Baseball, hockey, autumn leaves, the smell of fresh apples, baked goods galore (I walked into a store last week to pick something up and the overwhelming scent of apples, pumpkin, cinnamon, and nutmeg slapped me in the face when the doors opened. I wanted to take a shower in the sugary scent.), the weather is intoxicating, Halloween/Samhain, and the icing on the proverbial cupcake is always my birthday.

But this year, my birthday means saying goodbye to a specific chapter of my life and all that I held dear about it and saying hello to a new beginning. Much like a Brazilian wax, it’s going to hurt, but the pain is temporary because less than a week later, my life will begin again someplace new, minus the itchy regrowth.

New adventures, new people, new surroundings that are familiar in some respects, but most importantly, I will finally get the opportunity to focus on my health, on my career change, and on achieving things I never thought of doing. It’s important not to stop dreaming, even if you fully believe you’re content with your life. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that and I think this is an important reminder to “Dream big, for the dream precedes the goal.” You never know what’s possible unless you try.

I greet October with mixed emotions this year. I know it will take many months for me to be okay with my decision, but that ultimately, I am allowing myself to be guided. I’ve repeatedly asked to be guided in the right direction, and perhaps this is simply the right direction at this particular point in my life.

We might joke about winning the lottery being the key to happiness, but ultimately I think many of us want the same things: Good health, happiness, security, and loved ones by our side. Material things don’t matter if you’re all alone and it means even less if you’re sick and can’t help yourself.

I pray that wherever this road takes me, it leads me to the things I most desire in life. Only God truly knows what those things are.

Let’s Give This A Try

2015-09-24 Miss Poison Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses Ask Me Anything, First Anniversary On Wordpress, October, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing

I didn’t get to celebrate the first anniversary of ‘Poison In Lethal Doses’ being here because, for some unknown reason, WordPress did not see fit to notify me as they normally do. In light of that, I thought a good way to celebrate would be an AMA (Ask Me Anything) next month. So, from now until October 12th at midnight PDT, you can submit your questions (e-mail address to follow) and they will be chosen at random and answered around the end of October into November, depending on how many questions are submitted.

Anything I’ve already talked about at length will not be chosen (unless the question is exceptional), but everything else is fair game.

I think this is a really interesting opportunity to connect with each other and explore something different.

All questions can be submitted to: poisoninlethaldoses@gmail.com

Have fun coming up with questions. There is no limit to how many questions any one person can submit. Enjoy! 🙂

The Need For Silence

2014-10-302014-10-30 Miss Poison Being Real, Cats, Friends, Friendship, Goals, Growth, Happiness, Health, Honesty, Hope, Images/Photos/Quotes, Musings, Negativity, October, Pets, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Reflection, Relationships, Silence, Space, Wicca, Work, Writing Cats, Friends, Halloween, Healing, October, Recovery, Samhain, Silence, Sons of Anarchy, Stalker, Wicca, Writing

Tomorrow is Samhain, which is Halloween for the uninitiated who can’t even pronounce what I just said. I’ve taken some time this week to be quiet, to look deeply within, and to give myself some space. Every year brings a new set of challenges, and I am hoping to embark on happier ones this time around. Simply put: I am sick of the crap. Every last ounce of it. I’m ready for positive change, happy change, and I am looking forward to putting a lot of unhappiness and negativity to rest.

My only plan for tomorrow is to try hard to finish the read-through I am doing, and catch up on some little things that need to be put in the mail. Beyond that, nothing. I want a quiet day, I want to light candles at dusk, and I want a night of quality sleep. I don’t need scary movies to “get into the spirit”. I’ve already seen Sons of Anarchy and Stalker this week, I’ve had my dose of gore and I’ve been thoroughly ‘creeped out’.

It probably seems odd for someone so young to be in such desperate need of silence, but it’s honest. I already bought sweets this week and they were for myself. Okay, so I shared, but you get the point. The actual Halloween aspect doesn’t reside in my home. Samhain, on the other hand, does. It’s when I honor my loved ones who have passed away and light candles of remembrance. It’s when I keep my cats close to me and SAFE. I don’t believe in having outdoor cats, I never have and I never will. That is a personal choice because I believe that if you are going to have any kind of pet, you should do what is absolutely best for him/her and their overall well-being. When you rescue, you should give them a safe home. Last year there was a lot of concern over black cats being harmed. I own an all-black British Bombay who is the sweetest, most laid back little girl, so it’s even more important to me to keep her safe and sound. I don’t ever want my cats to know “the street life” again, which is precisely why I adopted them. You save a life, but you also save bits of yourself in the process.

Also, I have a very dear friend in the hospital, and I want to make sure I say a special prayer for her recovery. I’m breaking out the big guns on this one! 🙂

So, if there isn’t another post this month, enjoy the holiday however you choose to embrace it and keep yourself and those you hold dear safe & sound.

Bright Blessings.