Editing

How Not To Kill A Client

Miss Poison Clients, Editing, Honesty, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing , , , , , , ,

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How Not To Kill A Client

99% of the time, I love what I do. I’m a writer who doesn’t have to answer to anyone, but on the day-to-day, as an editor, there’s a plethora of crap that gets to me occasionally.

There is a fine line between being professional and being a bitch. Some people are slightly afraid of their editors, others think our jobs are “so easy a toddler can do it”, and others have more respect. I am pretty laid back and I will not mess with quality on the off-chance it’s actually presented to me (It’s becoming a rarity.). I have mastered that line between total pro and bitch. So when I got feedback on a job the other day and didn’t receive my usual 5 star rating all across the board, I had to go and check my interactions with this particular client.

Despite his one line comment (stating that I was efficient and delivered way ahead of schedule) and ranking, I know I was the epitome of skilled and professional. I looked at our conversations and all I can say is that he had very little to say, but asked me to be 100% honest and extensively edit, no holds barred. His first reaction upon receiving the completed manuscript was “It looks GREAT!” Furthermore, I asked him twice if he needed me to go back in and do anything more, even after I’d been paid. Technically, that is far more than anyone else would be willing to do. I know this because I always go above and beyond where others will demand more money to do so. As my “reward”, he gives me a low score on professionalism and quality. (In all fairness, he ranked those two sections at 4 stars instead of 5, but I KNOW I earned 5 stars.) WHAT.THE.FUCK?! Again, I had to double-check to see if I’d done or said something that could have been taken the wrong way. I went through our discussions and the body of work submitted back to him. Not a thing. I was thorough, honest, and highly complimentary of his work because it really is very interesting and well done.

I won’t lie; when I saw the feedback, I was PISSED. It doesn’t take much to piss me off these days, but I was violently livid, and rightly so. However, I know better than to confront someone about this. Instead, I decided that to show my professionalism was the BEST revenge. I turned around and left him stellar feedback as a client. I meant every word, but I wanted him to see I’m not some unprofessional lowlife. For anyone who has ever worked with me to say that speaks for them, but it says absolutely nothing about me, especially if I’ve only worked for you for a few weeks.

Truth be told, I’d rather a client say absolutely NOTHING than leave feedback that is less than stellar. If you have an issue, it’s perfectly fine to come to me directly and ask me to fix something, or go over the work again. Go directly to the source. Ultimately, this is my livelihood, not eBay. This is not amateur hour. My mother and Grandmother both taught me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. I do utilize that tactic most of the time, but if you piss me off, all bets are off.

Mind you, I do not name names. Not ever. A client could be on the New York Times Best Sellers List and I will NEVER talk about that or mention them by name because it is not my place to do so. Even if I don’t sign an NDA with a client, I still don’t discuss their work or give away their ideas. I have integrity, even when they drive me to the point where I’ve contemplated melon-balling my eyes out, or worse.

He’ll never read this, but he CAN bite me over that feedback. Moreover, while he was being an asshole, I am now officially triple-booked. My new client told me I am “seriously over-qualified for pretty much every job”. That comment alone made my day. 🙂

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copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Grey Days

Miss Poison Creativity, Honesty, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing , , , , , , ,

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Waking up this morning, you never would have known it was 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday. It’s so dark out that even though rain was not predicted, I suspect it is getting close. That’s okay, because I like the grey days.

A ‘grey day’ for most people might mean depression, but for me, it tends to be more about creativity. I am, quite honestly, locked in my room with my computer. It’s drowning out all the bullshit and drama, and allowing me to focus on what I truly want and need to do.

Drawing out creativity isn’t something you can truly schedule. There are days you can sit and stare at the screen, and nothing happens. I try not to push myself. I write and revise when I am feeling it. I go over other people’s work because it’s my job, but it is also my job to write my own material and make sure it’s cleaner than a hostel shower.

I cannot begin to say how many times someone has told me they’re sending me a “clean manuscript”, and the end result is me wanting to yank all of my hair out of my head because it is riddled with errors and is anything, but “clean”. In fact, it ends up redefining the words “first draft”. Alas, all you can do is fix it, provide notes and suggestions, and then send them on their way. Once your portion of the job is complete, you’re usually out of the picture. Not so with your own work.

Book #1 is important to me (They all are.). It’s not the first thing I’ve ever written, it certainly won’t be the last, but it is important. If I’m putting my name on it, it cannot be shit because I will not allow it. Thankfully, I’ve been writing so long that I know when I’ve written quality and I definitely know when I’ve written “filler”. Since I don’t get paid to write “filler”, I also know when to cut. The writer’s group I belong to; it seems a lot of people have difficulties with knowing when to cut. I’m not a “Please read my book so I can get your opinion/approval.” kind of person. I’m a protector of the body of work until it goes into the editing process, and even then, I am protective of what cannot be cut under any circumstance. Basically, I’m protective until it hits someone’s e-reader or shelf. After that, everyone that reads it will have an opinion and they are entitled to them. Unless someone is an absolute troll, the best thing for me to do is my job and allow everything else to simply be.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Apparently, Some People Can’t Read Warnings…

Miss Poison Copyrights, Editing, Editors, Experience, Honesty, Integrity, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Work, Writing , , , , , , , , ,

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I think I make myself incredibly clear. Clear to the point of overly repetitive! I’m starting to think I should come with a warning label, because some people are so stupid they cannot read the simplest of statements.

If you read my editor’s profile I strictly state that I will NOT do sample edits. I have done a few, but over time you see that the job you just did a sample for ends up going to someone else. It’s always the person with a lower bid. It’s not about how good you are, it’s about someone saving a few dollars. That’s fine. C’est la vie. However, I have now made it mandatory, part of my own personal policy if you will. I don’t give my work away for free, nor should anyone expect me to do so.

I received an inquiry late last night, complete with a chapter. Not only did the person not ask me anything, they simply said “Can you do a sample page? Thanks.” (I’d like to say that request wasn’t riddled with spelling errors, but it was. A simple request, filled with errors in spelling and grammar. For a second I said to myself “Do I just do it, or am I competing against two dozen other people?” The thought of losing out to someone else over a few dollars made me stand firm. I finally replied “I will only do the sample if I am the only person you are considering for the job. No one worth their salt gives their work away for free. Thank you” That’s not me being a bitch or egotistical, it’s laying down some important ground rules.

I’m always polite and professional, but I truly don’t think anyone worth their salt should give their work away for free. I will work with a person until they are happy with their manuscript, but I don’t think I should have to posture and/or bow down to whatever it is they’re looking for in a “sample”. If you’re hiring someone, read their bio. Look at their list of experience. Choose based on that. I might not always choose the person with the most experience, because sometimes they aren’t the right person for the specific genre, but I will choose the person that instinctively feels right in my soul.

My bio says “27 years of writing experience, nearly 20 years of editing experience.” (January 1st is my 20 year mark. 🙂 ) and lists all of my qualifications and precisely what I specialize in. It also clearly states that I no longer do sample edits because the practice has become unacceptable to me, not to mention it is frowned upon by the employer. Even they tell you that 99% of the time when you do a sample for someone, you will never hear back from the person and not to give your hard work away for free. For me, it’s really not worth it. Yes, I want the job, but I am not going to beg for it, not with an extremely long list of experience backing me up. Choose me because I am right for the job, or choose someone else. Either way, it’s okay.

As a writer, I am extremely careful who I share my work with. I don’t care who you are or how much trust I have in you, my work is MY WORK and there’s a line I simply will not cross. There are only two sets of eyes that have ever looked at my fiction work, and one set of those eyes is my own. Some people have seen brief excerpts or quotes, nothing more.

You really have to be careful to protect your work and shield it. There are thousands of cases in the court system for copyright infringement. There is always someone claiming to own a story when it was simply shared with them in friendship, or as a fresh set of eyes. I sign non-disclosure agreements to protect other people because I respect that they’ve worked hard. I do not want or need their ideas, and it is not my right to steal their work. My word is my bond, but if a piece of paper will also protect a client, then so be it. I feel the same way in kind because I have worked immensely hard on every single thing I’ve ever written.

I was lucky, because I was taught about copyrighting very young. New writers know next to nothing about how to protect themselves or their work, so I often have to step up and say something. Not everything you read on the Internet is true, so when in doubt, ask someone who has some experience.

Many new writers share their work via blogs and various platforms through social media. Therein lies your first mistake. Be a writer, share new material on blogs and social media, talk about new projects, but do NOT release privileged work until it has run the gamut with literary agents, editors, and/or you have already chosen to publish it yourself. Do extensive self-publishing research and don’t fall for any crap. Again, when it doubt, turn to someone knowledgable.

Above all, don’t do anything for work that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. A sample edit might seem fine to a lot of you, but to an experienced editor who already has a sample of her work posted to her profile, it is a grave insult. I won’t whore myself out for a “maybe”, nor will I whore myself out for a “yes”. If a person cannot show you respect, then you probably don’t want to work for or with them. Remember that. Your personal integrity is so much more important than anything else. It’s something someone can only take from you if you let them. I choose to keep my integrity in tact.

UPDATE: Integrity & Intuition will not lead you in the wrong direction. This person sent a chapter of her work out to every single person, 37 in total. I filed a complaint because clearly she wants free work if she’s doing that, and I usually get sent a prologue or a first chapter, never something in the middle. I was sent chapter 12, and the warning bells went off inside my head. She has listed the same job 4 times. They immediately flagged it and told me to continue reporting anyone that violates the terms of service because I could accidentally be booted for following the rules when I haven’t done anything wrong, but it’s hard when you’ve got 10 million customers and workers to be on top of every single incident. I feel better knowing I did what’s right. Always read the rules. It takes a few minutes, yes, but it gives you knowledge and shows you’re not a moron! I’m many things, a moron isn’t one of them.   

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Saturday Morning Humor

Miss Poison Authors, Books, Editing, Editors, Honesty, Humor, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Reading, Writing , , , , , , , , , ,

I have been lucky (and not so lucky) to read a LOT of books long before they were ever published. The other day I was asked how crucial the editing process is. I said “As an editor, making sure your work is properly edited and not riddled with mistakes and errors is of the utmost importance. I cringe whenever I see something poorly edited.” I expected no response whatsoever, because really, why would I?

Then I noticed that what I said DID raise a comment, and it went a little something like this “Then how do you explain Fifty Shades Of Grey being published?!” I had the hardest time not laughing. I go from speaking from experience to being blamed for work I didn’t even edit! I’m pretty damn sure I was not credited as EL James’ editor, and if I was, I want a retraction, STAT.

I did respond to the ludicrous comment, only because editors aren’t publishers. We can push something and market it to death to a literary agent, but even that really isn’t our job. Marketability is not what I get paid, or in this case blamed, to do. However, as an editor, I do believe in letting the author know precisely how marketable their work is and which direction to take it in.

I’ve told people exactly which agents to submit queries to. A lot of people are first-time writers, have never been published, and even though they have a finished product, they have absolutely no idea what to do with it after the first edit. I advise, but unless I’m on contract, I do not do more than an extremely thorough edit with notes. In most cases, I am the first edit or the last before submission. Some books, while incredibly brilliant, never see the light of day. That is why more and more people are self-publishing and/or going through smaller publishing houses. It’s not an easy process, yet people seem to believe that it is because way too many idiots are on the New York Times Best Sellers List. Only 60% of them have true talent (Hell, I read their books!), and sometimes the numbers are higher or lower, depending on the month. Hand me a book, I will find the errors in the editing and grammar. And yes, it always makes me cringe.

As the consumer, and this goes for me as well, if you don’t like something, don’t fucking read it. Save your receipts, return whatever it is you disliked, and get something new or get a store credit. But don’t blame the editors of the world for what other people write!

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Unbelievable!

Miss Poison Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unbelievable Crap, Work, Writing , , , , ,

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Writers can be an incredibly quirky bunch, but occasionally you come across someone SO incredibly ass-backward and unprofessional that you find the entire situation utterly unbelievable. You almost expect hidden cameras to be shown to you at any given moment.

Long story short: A potential client contacted me over a manuscript he’d like to have edited. Eventually the listing closes, and even after saying he wanted to hire me, I hear nothing. I continued to follow-up. In the meantime I take another job, because I am not about to wait for this guy to get his act together. A few days ago he leaves me a new message, asking me to call him. I do, and I leave him a voice mail message. I specifically detailed in the message that he could call me back when he was ready to do so, and I followed it up with another written message. No response. No return phone call. I am not about to call him every hour on the hour until he calls me back. One message is enough. The e-mail message was more than I’d do for most people who have yet to sign on yet.

I come home tonight after a long day and he has re-listed the job. I had suggested that he re-list it, but I also told him I would still take the job and adhere to what we had previously agreed upon as far as what I would do and the original price I’d quoted him. Instead of listening to me, I had to submit an entirely new proposal, but this time I made sure to state that we’d already agreed upon this job and he had never gotten back to me. Why would you even bother asking someone to call you if you’re now accepting offers from other people for the very same job that, several weeks ago, was “mine”? This truly makes no sense and it annoys the crap out of me.

Unless I hear from him within the next few days, I am washing my hands of the situation entirely. I’d rather deal with someone professional than someone who can’t get their shit together.

Little things like this TRULY annoy me. I saw the job re-listed and my jaw nearly hit my laptop keys. I could not believe the stupidity and immaturity of it all. Mind you, he had the option of inviting me into the job, so clearly he can’t even follow simple instructions, which I detailed specifically in my last message to him. I cannot imagine what that manuscript looks like and now, I could not care less. He’d have to pay me triple to touch it.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Another One Bites The Dust

Miss Poison Cooking, Editing, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thanksgiving, Word Count, Work, Writing , , , , , , ,

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At approximately 9:00 this morning, I submitted a completed, edited manuscript back to my current client. Ten days, four revisions, and I am DONE. I felt incredibly exhilarated by that. I think it is, by far, the fastest I have edited in a while, but factoring in that everyone gives me projects with different word counts, I still think I did rather well. I delivered way ahead of schedule since this wasn’t an absolute must until January 1st. All in all, I am pleased.

I had a little health scare this week that I didn’t mention, but now that I know I’m okay, I feel like I can breathe a little easier. By the Grace of God, it wasn’t what I thought it was, and I am eternally grateful for that.

It’s hard to believe Thanksgiving is less than a week away. I have been trying to plan my “menu” here and there this past week. Last year, while not traditional, I did break out my recipe for stuffing. If a recipe is passed down to me, I have perfected it over the years. The stuffing was my Mom’s original recipe. I don’t know where she got it from because my Grandmother didn’t cook, but my Great-Grandmother did. Even still, this stuffing is not typical of what one might expect. It is very easily made vegetarian with a few little tweaks, but I’m not making it this year. In fact, I don’t plan on making anything even remotely traditional. No turkey, no stuffing, no cranberry sauce, nothing one might expect. It’s one big plain NO. After some consideration, I found a happy alternative.

I have absolutely nothing against traditional Thanksgiving Day fare, I’m simply not going to do all that prep work for less than 4 people. It’s a lot of work and since I am the one cooking, I make the rules. A 12-16 pound turkey is a waste when only the white meat will be eaten. It’s wasteful, but it’s the truth. So, no turkey. If I do happen to qualify for the free bird at my local store, I will donate it to one of the churches in the area or give it to a neighbor who I am sure will either cook it or donate it. Either way, someone wins. The store I go to does offer some alternatives, but if none of them can be utilized by me, it’s best to donate.

I know the stores will be jam-packed next week, but since I’m not going near anything traditional, I should be okay. I can listen to the playlist for my book instead of the Christmas music I am almost certain to be attacked by upon entering, and go about my business. It will take two trips to two different stores to get everything I need, but I will be incredibly grateful if I am able to do so, and still come in under budget. What I’m planning will last for 3-5 days, but it will get better from the first bite ’til the very last and I’m looking forward to having some fun with it. I am also considering a little baking. I considered it last year and ended up not doing it. Two different types of cake have been requested, and each of them sounds really refreshing for some reason, so I am going to try. They can both bake at the same time, cool at the same time, and be frosted next to one another. Easy. They’ll both last about a day, only because everyone here has a sweet tooth. At least by baking them, I know exactly what’s going into them, as opposed to buying them, where the ingredients are listed, but make me cringe. What I have planned, even with the baking, won’t even take me two hours to pull together. Another person is in charge of an add-on that he suggested, but everything else is me. He did offer to help, but I hate it when anyone hovers over me in the kitchen like I’m fine china and might break. UGH!

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Do you have any traditional dishes you make that are absolute MUSTS? Leave me a comment and let me know. Also, how many people are making dishes that are Pinterest inspired?

 copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Welcome & Thank You

Miss Poison Editing, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unfiltered, Work, Writing , , , , , , , , ,

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Readership has really grown a lot in the past month, so I wanted to say hello to all of the new people that have kindly followed, liked, and commented. It is a joy to read messages from like-minded souls. I see everything, and I appreciate all of you for stopping in. I especially have to thank my friends who followed me from the old blog (which I still do), to my main focus, which is this platform. It’s nice to get feedback based solely on true merit.

While I try to post daily, sometimes my brain is a bit shattered, so I try to share nice things with you that I’ve come across, or that inspire me in some way. Sometimes I will address specific issues or causes, and you don’t have to take them to heart, you can breeze through or past them, but I do hope they’ll be of some value.

I am currently editing a new novel, which is an interesting, fun challenge. When you grow up with specific mysteries and stories, be it in book form, film, or even on television, it is always nice to see them brought back to life by someone new. It’s nice for me to step outside of my own work world, which is drastically different, and immerse myself in a world of someone else’s creation. I was pleased to discover the client is already published and successful, so that was a nice surprise, and I’m so happy to be working. It does mean I will work straight through the holidays, but quite frankly, I appreciate the distraction. It’s been a rough year. I will be happy to take the good from it, leave the negative behind, and move into a new year with a lot of newly absorbed knowledge about myself and those around me. It’s important to look ahead, because looking behind you only causes chronic neck pain.

Beyond all of that, I can say that Fall is winding down. The trees on my property are blowing leaves all over the place. The two larger trees were bright, lush green and are now dappled with yellow and peach. The Japanese Maple will slowly transition from stunning plum leaves to a bright red, but as of right now, they’re still holding strong. It’s my favorite of the three trees and it’s also the one that was still pretty young when I got here. The air is now turning bitterly cold, which makes my Fibromyalgia flare-up in unpleasant ways. Every muscle in my body hurts and every joint feels like I’m Tin Man from the Wizard Of Oz and need to be “oiled”. I can feel the cold deep within my bones, especially anywhere I have an injury. Gymnastics isn’t always kind to you years later, but the same can be said for all sports.

It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I haven’t even sat down to make a tentative menu because I don’t know how many people I will be cooking for, but I’m also not that interested. I think the sentiment behind the day is awesome, it always has been, but it is greatly ruined by the pre-Black Friday crap that is already being advertised. I’m much more concerned with making a nice meal and having a day of movies or books to keep me happy. That’s my usual tradition. Perhaps I will re-read a series of books throughout the holiday season, in my spare time.

Are there are books you like to re-read during this time of year? If so, leave a comment and tell me what you re-read and why.

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copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Sometimes People Ask For Way Too Much

Miss Poison Authors, Boundaries, Idiots, Poison In Lethal Doses, Respect, Stress, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Unnecessary Drama, Work, Writers, Writing , , , ,

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Here’s something important you all need to know about me. Above all else, I am supremely professional. However, if you’re antagonistic and you push my buttons right out of the gate, I will remain professional until the job is done, but I won’t ever be anywhere in the vicinity of nice ever again.

Some clients, generally the ones I don’t work with, want a LOT for NOTHING. I am doing a read-through. I was asked to make notes of corrections that need to be made, and I did that, in red. Since I wasn’t asked to edit, I simply provided notes. They were detailed. “This is missing a comma.”, “There is a spelling error.”, “Revise this for grammatical errors.”, “Look this over and add some necessary material. The sentence and/or thought is just hanging.”, stuff like that. Unless you’re a moron, that means you re-read the fucking paragraph and make the corrections. There are children that can follow these very simple instructions, why can’t you?!

I respectfully asked the client if he’d like the work back as I go through each file, and he said yes. I sent back the first file, which contained one chapter. ONE. I then receive a message hours later saying my notes were “cryptic” and that he’d like a “higher level of feedback”. Mind you, I’d only sent back the first chapter. It was fine and I provided feedback, but how much needs to be said about 6,000 words unless it’s really bad?

This was enough to make me want to say something vile and unprofessional. This made me want to say “You’re not paying me to do anything more than a read-through, yet I provided notes. Find your own fucking errors!” If I had submitted the entire book back and only gave 2-3 lines of feedback, that would be one thing, but I’d only submitted back a chapter, which he’d asked for. I included notes at the end and my thoughts. Sometimes, when you’re reading something new, you don’t have a lot of thoughts after a prologue or even after reading that and chapter one. Sometimes it takes 3-5 chapters before you feel like you know the characters and have a feel for the story. I don’t know a single author/writer that will disagree with me.

However, this son of a bitch pushed my buttons. I am sick, so I probably should wait until I feel better to deal with douche bags, but man, I hate idiots. If you’re asking me to do a job, I will do it thoroughly. It is certain that our styles may or may not mesh, but don’t disrespect me or act superior. You’re not paying me enough to give me attitude, and I will never take it, because I don’t give a fuck who you think you are.

Treat your editors, beta readers, and agents with respect. Don’t expect them to do every single thing for you, because it doesn’t work that way. The first time you treat me like your professional toilet cleaner will probably be the last time I ever work for you again, and you can put that in a pipe and smoke it!

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.