Writing

The Pen…

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“The pen is mightier than a sword, a gun, or any weapon that stands before it. At the end of the day, only one can win. Those who choose the pen know.” -Unknown

My pen IS my sword, gun, shield, etc. Screw with me and find out, but do so at your own peril because you live and die by the sword. 

How Not To Kill A Client

Miss Poison Clients, Editing, Honesty, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing , , , , , , ,

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How Not To Kill A Client

99% of the time, I love what I do. I’m a writer who doesn’t have to answer to anyone, but on the day-to-day, as an editor, there’s a plethora of crap that gets to me occasionally.

There is a fine line between being professional and being a bitch. Some people are slightly afraid of their editors, others think our jobs are “so easy a toddler can do it”, and others have more respect. I am pretty laid back and I will not mess with quality on the off-chance it’s actually presented to me (It’s becoming a rarity.). I have mastered that line between total pro and bitch. So when I got feedback on a job the other day and didn’t receive my usual 5 star rating all across the board, I had to go and check my interactions with this particular client.

Despite his one line comment (stating that I was efficient and delivered way ahead of schedule) and ranking, I know I was the epitome of skilled and professional. I looked at our conversations and all I can say is that he had very little to say, but asked me to be 100% honest and extensively edit, no holds barred. His first reaction upon receiving the completed manuscript was “It looks GREAT!” Furthermore, I asked him twice if he needed me to go back in and do anything more, even after I’d been paid. Technically, that is far more than anyone else would be willing to do. I know this because I always go above and beyond where others will demand more money to do so. As my “reward”, he gives me a low score on professionalism and quality. (In all fairness, he ranked those two sections at 4 stars instead of 5, but I KNOW I earned 5 stars.) WHAT.THE.FUCK?! Again, I had to double-check to see if I’d done or said something that could have been taken the wrong way. I went through our discussions and the body of work submitted back to him. Not a thing. I was thorough, honest, and highly complimentary of his work because it really is very interesting and well done.

I won’t lie; when I saw the feedback, I was PISSED. It doesn’t take much to piss me off these days, but I was violently livid, and rightly so. However, I know better than to confront someone about this. Instead, I decided that to show my professionalism was the BEST revenge. I turned around and left him stellar feedback as a client. I meant every word, but I wanted him to see I’m not some unprofessional lowlife. For anyone who has ever worked with me to say that speaks for them, but it says absolutely nothing about me, especially if I’ve only worked for you for a few weeks.

Truth be told, I’d rather a client say absolutely NOTHING than leave feedback that is less than stellar. If you have an issue, it’s perfectly fine to come to me directly and ask me to fix something, or go over the work again. Go directly to the source. Ultimately, this is my livelihood, not eBay. This is not amateur hour. My mother and Grandmother both taught me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. I do utilize that tactic most of the time, but if you piss me off, all bets are off.

Mind you, I do not name names. Not ever. A client could be on the New York Times Best Sellers List and I will NEVER talk about that or mention them by name because it is not my place to do so. Even if I don’t sign an NDA with a client, I still don’t discuss their work or give away their ideas. I have integrity, even when they drive me to the point where I’ve contemplated melon-balling my eyes out, or worse.

He’ll never read this, but he CAN bite me over that feedback. Moreover, while he was being an asshole, I am now officially triple-booked. My new client told me I am “seriously over-qualified for pretty much every job”. That comment alone made my day. 🙂

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copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Virus Be Gone, Before I Drop A House On You!!

Miss Poison Health, Writing , , , , ,

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Remember the cold I thought I was coming down with? I really didn’t think it would last. I drank tea, I had chicken noodle soup. I got quality rest. This morning, it is a full on VIRUS. I am not good at being sick. I hate it, and I hate whoever spread their God damn germs in public so as to ensure I got this viciousness. I am contemplating hunting them down, ripping their arms off, and beating them to death.

A friend of mine is terrified of getting sick every winter, and I understand why, though I don’t usually contemplate it too much for myself because I don’t spend a lot of time around people that are potential “carriers”. Yes, that’s what I call the people I interact with, especially during the winter months. I want to dip all of them in Listerine at the front door and keep them and their germs at bay. We won’t discuss how many times I say “Did you wash your hands?” or “Where have your hands been?” on any given day. I’m a firm believer that most guys pay very little attention to what they touch. I’ve seen their cell phones, who are they kidding?!

Realistically speaking, colds and flu viruses have gotten so much worse than they once were. A really bad bout of either can take you out for two weeks, or longer. A very close friend of mine made me ultra aware of something going around last year, so I have been using antibacterial wipes on pretty much every surface I come in contact with. Especially in public. People stare at me as I wipe down shopping carts at the three different grocery stores I frequent. Hell, what do they think the wipes at the front door are for? I have no idea when someone last changed that adorable baby’s dirty diaper, do I really want to put my hands where they allowed that child to sit for God only knows how long? NO.

I keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, just in case a bathroom somewhere is out of soap. This happened to me once on a trip in a very touristy spot. Since that fateful day of no soap and no water in a tourist attraction bathroom, I have purchased purse size bottles of Bath & Body Works antibacterial gel and I keep it in my bag until I use it up. They’re small, but a little goes a long way at keeping my peace of mind. I usually have one in my nightstand and 2 others as purse back-ups, just in case. They’re inexpensive when you buy on-line in bulk, and at least then, you know your hands are clean. This also comes in really handy when you have to take your contact lenses out in public to clean them (Does this happen to anyone else during the spring and summer months?) and you don’t want to get your hands wet from washing them before putting your lenses back in. You don’t want to potentially lose a lens or have one stick to anything other than your eye, of course. Lenses that get foggy or sticky are unbearable to wear.

I contacted both of my clients this morning to let them know I am sick. It might have been an overly cautious measure, but I would rather be honest than have them not know I am delayed, even if only by a day or two. I do have plenty of time to complete both projects by their deadline dates, but I have no idea how long this virus from hell is going to have me down, so I know in my heart I did the right thing. I have been offered a long-term developmental job as well. I have absolutely no expectations there, but it was nice to see the offer when I woke up this morning. It was a nice bit of positivity as I sit here contemplating what to do based on how sick I am. A normal person would go back to sleep. Alas, I find myself wide awake, but my body is saying “I don’t think so, sweet pea!” I suspect I’ll hunker down with a book. I find myself incredibly bored with everything though, including the one book I want to finish. Perhaps I will hit my bookshelves for the beginning of my yearly Moral Instruments pilgrimage. If nothing else, it’s engaging.

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copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

 

 

Sleepless Nights & A Cold

Miss Poison Honesty, Life, Musings, Self-Care, Work, Writing , , , ,

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My fatal flaw of yesterday was falling asleep at some point during the later afternoon hours. Granted, it was a snowy/rainy day and seemed darker, and far later, than it actually was. I’d worked for 10 hours (I am halfway through the big manuscript and have already submitted part 1 of the second job back to the client.) and I was beat. To add insult to injury, I’m coming down with a cold and there’s only so much coughing and sneezing you can do before exhaustion sets in. By the time I woke up, I was completely shocked by the time. My first thought was “Great! Now I won’t sleep tonight!” I was right. I’ve tried going back to sleep a few times between 12:30 and sometime around 4:00 a.m. For some reason, I kept getting up and going back to proofing the big manuscript or reading. Neither of which is deeply fascinating, I am simply wired because a nap turned into what could have been a full night of sleep.

I cannot blame this on caffeine. I had exactly one cup of green tea yesterday and didn’t even finish it. I thought it would help with the cold symptoms because my throat felt like a desert had moved in. When I get the early stages of a cold there are very few things that work, but my ultimate dry throat remedy at this early stage is diet root beer. I have no idea why it works, but it does. Pennsylvania Dutch makes a diet Birch Beer that is also really great at moisturizing the throat and does a better job than Nyquil at calming the cough so I can sleep or function. Regular root beer doesn’t work, I’ve tried. I bought the diet one year by accident and have been hooked ever since. It not only helps with my throat, but if my stomach gets queasy for any reason, it often helps with that as well. If this gets worse, my other homemade remedies become more substantial in power. I don’t care what other people think: Chicken soup is a great healer. Unfortunately when I’m sick, there’s no way I’m going to make it myself from scratch. The few local places that make soup all know when I’m really sick because I’m way too weak to do anything, but call them to deliver it. It’s pathetic, but when you are sick, you do what makes you feel better and helps you recover as quickly as possible. Sometimes it also means Walmart and Walgreens are raided as well, but I do try to use natural courses before I grab the healer I hate the most: Zicam. Yes, it works. However, after a few doses it tastes like blood and there’s nothing that makes me feel worse than having that crap in my system.

During the start of writing this to now, I’ve actually gotten sicker. There’s a level of sick I hate reaching, but it’s happening for hours and I cannot deny now that this isn’t a 24 hour bug. I’m nursing a mug of mint tea and contemplating what will stay down for breakfast. If it’s not going to stay down, I’m not eating it. I’ll wait until later today when my stomach is less liable to reject food. I hate that I’m spending a Sunday morning like this when I could be productive in some way. Bleh! I worked, and that’s more than I probably should have done.

Here’s hoping your weekend has been filled with happier problems. Note to self: Buy stock in Kleenex, Ricola, Celestial Seasonings, Bigelow Tea, and any major producer of root beer.

If you don’t hear from me for a while, send soup. No, I’m not kidding. 

 copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.