There’s Something About A Place…

“There’s something about a place you’ve been with someone you love. It takes on a meaning in your mind. It becomes more than a place. It becomes a distillation of what you felt for each other. The moments you spend in a place with someone… they become part of its bricks and mortar. Part of its soul.”
Cassandra Clare, Lord of Shadows

It Hurts…

“It hurts to let go, to say goodbye for the final time and remain distant in your closure, it may even tear your heart out to the point of insanity; but somehow in it all you find the pieces of your worth and you start creating yourself again, and in that journey of transformation you find the essence of what truly matters, inner happiness. It’s life, we all fall at some stage but it’s up to you, to decide how long you want to stay there.”
―Nikki Rowe

Stop Watering Your Scars


It’s apropos that I chose this to share with all of you today. Friday threw me for an INSANE loop.

The healthcare system in this country is difficult enough to navigate if you’re healthy, but I’m trying to get multiple things treated and thought I was “safe” with my current insurance company. I was wrong. Being informed, with just a few days notice, that my internist (who I’ve been waiting to see for about six weeks, thanks to an error her nurse made when I’d originally scheduled an appointment for early March) no longer accepts my insurance. Her office informed me that they were dropped by the insurance company as providers, and I suspect this is the truth considering the insurance claimed the opposite. I’ve learned a lot about how insurance works in the past year and the common denominator I’ve heard is this: “The insurance company will always lie. They will never admit they’re wrong or at fault.” I’ve found this to be about 80% true.

I had to switch to a different insurance company to be able to see her  (Thankfully, they are able to get me covered immediately.), and keep some of my other doctors who are in the same building and all take the same insurance. I will receive double-coverage for thirty days between the two companies (it’s illegal for them to leave me without coverage in this state. This might be true in other states as well, I don’t know for sure. I can only share my experience.), but after the thirty days are up, I am stuck without two key providers I NEED, which means I’ll be making a LOT of phone calls over the next few weeks. 😦

I spent several hours on the phone Friday morning into the afternoon. I made roughly fifteen calls, and then had a massive panic attack. I am already on antibiotics and another medication after a not-so-festive trip to Urgent Care on Wednesday. I finally got my MRI approved in the appeals process, and now I have to get it covered by a completely different company. That requires my doctor, who already worked his butt off with me, to get prior authorization AGAIN. This kind of crap is nightmarish, and I definitely feel like the healthcare system “waters your scars”. They give you certain things and then strip away things you truly need in the process. It’s incredibly unacceptable. I know this is basically a global epidemic. I know I am not alone in my struggles with this. I know I am not the only person who can’t tolerate being made into a “full-time patient”, who is doing more work than all of his/her doctors combined.

While I do feel blessed to have healthcare coverage at all, I am very stressed about moving forward and having to find new people to help me. To add insult to injury, I don’t know if my neurology appointment will be covered, so like I said, more phone calls.

I might be bald by the end of next week. 😦