Sometimes People Ask For Way Too Much

2014-10-19 Miss Poison Authors, Boundaries, Idiots, Poison In Lethal Doses, Respect, Stress, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Unnecessary Drama, Work, Writers, Writing Editing, Idiots, Reading, Work, Writing

Here’s something important you all need to know about me. Above all else, I am supremely professional. However, if you’re antagonistic and you push my buttons right out of the gate, I will remain professional until the job is done, but I won’t ever be anywhere in the vicinity of nice ever again.

Some clients, generally the ones I don’t work with, want a LOT for NOTHING. I am doing a read-through. I was asked to make notes of corrections that need to be made, and I did that, in red. Since I wasn’t asked to edit, I simply provided notes. They were detailed. “This is missing a comma.”, “There is a spelling error.”, “Revise this for grammatical errors.”, “Look this over and add some necessary material. The sentence and/or thought is just hanging.”, stuff like that. Unless you’re a moron, that means you re-read the fucking paragraph and make the corrections. There are children that can follow these very simple instructions, why can’t you?!

I respectfully asked the client if he’d like the work back as I go through each file, and he said yes. I sent back the first file, which contained one chapter. ONE. I then receive a message hours later saying my notes were “cryptic” and that he’d like a “higher level of feedback”. Mind you, I’d only sent back the first chapter. It was fine and I provided feedback, but how much needs to be said about 6,000 words unless it’s really bad?

This was enough to make me want to say something vile and unprofessional. This made me want to say “You’re not paying me to do anything more than a read-through, yet I provided notes. Find your own fucking errors!” If I had submitted the entire book back and only gave 2-3 lines of feedback, that would be one thing, but I’d only submitted back a chapter, which he’d asked for. I included notes at the end and my thoughts. Sometimes, when you’re reading something new, you don’t have a lot of thoughts after a prologue or even after reading that and chapter one. Sometimes it takes 3-5 chapters before you feel like you know the characters and have a feel for the story. I don’t know a single author/writer that will disagree with me.

However, this son of a bitch pushed my buttons. I am sick, so I probably should wait until I feel better to deal with douche bags, but man, I hate idiots. If you’re asking me to do a job, I will do it thoroughly. It is certain that our styles may or may not mesh, but don’t disrespect me or act superior. You’re not paying me enough to give me attitude, and I will never take it, because I don’t give a fuck who you think you are.

Treat your editors, beta readers, and agents with respect. Don’t expect them to do every single thing for you, because it doesn’t work that way. The first time you treat me like your professional toilet cleaner will probably be the last time I ever work for you again, and you can put that in a pipe and smoke it!

A Job Well Done

2014-10-162014-10-16 Miss Poison Editing, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writers, Writing Authors, Editing, Experience, Half-Assing Work, Inner Critic, Poison In Lethal Doses, Quality, Skill, Talent, Writers, Writing

I feel good. I have completed editing over 94,000 words in less than three weeks, way ahead of schedule. I was invited to submit a proposal on an “invitation only” job and got it in a matter of an hour or so. It’s a read-through with notes, it won’t take me very long. I just have to stifle my urge to edit it. I refuse to do something I’m not being paid or asked to do in the job description. If you’re asking for a read-through, you’ll get it, but I won’t kill myself to give you more than what you’ve asked for. That’s only fair.

It’s also one of the reasons I keep my best work to myself until it is submitted for publication. I don’t need 100 opinions or thoughts, I know myself and I know what works. It’s not ego, it’s skill and experience. Not everything I write is for every single person on the planet, nor does it need to be. Know thy audience, but please yourself as the first person reading it.

Many writers deal with an “inner critic”. Basically, mine knows when I’m writing “filler”. In turn, I have no problem deleting it. It could be pages of crap, but I encourage you, as a writer, to know when it’s crap and remove it. It helps to avoid the “This is being cut.” remarks from an editor in the future. Know yourself, know when you’re putting your absolute best work forward, and know when to step back from it for a little while. Return with fresh eyes and a clear mind. If you agonize, it will always show in your work. If you were pushing yourself to meet a deadline, it will show and any reader with a lick of sense will pick up on it immediately.

Not that long ago I read a book from an author I read consistently. From beginning to end, the book felt forced, it felt repetitive, it felt unimaginative and about as unique as a paper bag, and getting to the end was like pulling teeth with your bare hands. The book went straight to #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers List. I wish you could have seen my face when I saw it. The book lacked quality, substance, a real plot, and damn near bored me to tears. It was the same old shit, in a different fucking book. It was, in all honesty, not that much different from a different series that the author writes, only the names and characters are slightly different. At the core of both, is the author’s pain, and she pours that pain into both of her lead characters. I respect her right for creative control and creative license, but that book made me lose a ton of respect for her as a person. When you’ve read all of a person’s work for closing in on 12 years, it is perfectly okay to be disappointed by even just one highly touted novel in a series, or in the series itself. I will pretty much NEVER publicly disrespect another female author, because I know how hard we work (Yes, male authors work hard too, but I lack the necessary equipment guys.), and I’m a girl’s girl to the core. For an author that once inspired me, I felt like she’d let her readers down. I read the reviews and while it remains at about a 4 star rating on many web-sites, pretty much every review was filled with anger, disappointment, and disgust. People were offended that they’d wasted $15-$30 on crap, depending on where and how they had purchased it and in which format, and that’s putting many reviews mildly.

Half-assing it shows. Maybe not to a new reader, but for people who have been with you from the very beginning, they will remember. They will determine whether or not the next book sells, and exactly how well it does. So, lesson to be learned? Don’t cheat your readers, but most importantly, don’t cheat yourself.

The Kitten That Lives Here…

Image 2014-10-162014-11-11 Miss Poison Humor, Images/Photos/Quotes, Kittens, Pieces Of Me, Writers, Writing Humor, Images/Photos/Quotes, Kittens, Writers, Writing

“When your Mommy is a writer, sometimes it is necessary to take a little nap on her laptop and remind her that cuteness should never be ignored.”

Introducing my little opal eyed baby to the world. I was writing, closed my laptop for a few minutes, and came back to this little minx. It was too cute not to capture. I am positive she is one of the happiest kittens on the planet. 🙂

All Good Books

Quote 2014-09-14 Miss Poison Authors, Honesty, Quotes, Writers Authors, Ernest Hemingway, Good Books, Quotes, Truth, Writers

“All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened, and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse and sorrow, the people and the places, and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer.” ―Ernest Hemingway

Does Creativity Pay?

2014-09-13 Miss Poison E-books, Fibromyalgia, Health, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Things That Enrage Me, Thoughts, Unbelievable Crap, Unfiltered, Writers, Writing Creativity, Ebooks, Finding Work As A Writer, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unfiltered, Writing

It’s Official, I Lack The Ability Of Dumbing Myself Down

A few weeks ago I officially signed up with an on-line Freelancing service that allows you to submit proposals for a laundry list of writing jobs, as well as other creative endeavors. Every single job that I am 1000% perfect for has either been A) Canceled because the entire project was scrapped or B) Given to someone else. I guarantee you that anyone who got a job over me dumbed themselves down in order to get it.

I’m not saying that a person that got a writing job over me is stupid. I don’t know them. However, I know that the low bid is always the one that gets the job. People can say a lot of things about me, but I’m NOT stupid.

I’m not going to apologize for placing my actual worth and value into a proposal. I have 27 years of writing experience, 19 years of editing experience, an incredibly vast array of knowledge, and if I wanted to be paid by the hour, I’d look into becoming a hooker (I’m kidding, I’m too tired to seriously consider that.).

Truth be told, if Fibromyalgia wasn’t killing me each day, I might contemplate a “normal” job at someplace like Sephora where my knowledge of fragrance, skin care, make-up, and all things beauty would be appreciated, albeit at an hourly rate. The only reason I’ve never done it is because I know I can’t get out of bed nine days out of ten and show up at a job like that. No company wants an employee that can only show up once or twice a week, that’s simply not going to fly.

Being a writer is one of those professions where people either assume you’re loaded because “J.K. Rowling made millions.”, or they assume that with magazines folding constantly and eBook sales up (Want to know how much you can be paid to write an eBook for someone else? Between $10-$125, and in many instances, your name will not be the one credited for writing it. I find it insulting beyond words. If you want me to write a book of 50 recipes and you want it in a week, you cannot come to the table with scraps. A high school student or a freshman in college might take a job like that, but an experienced writer is going to laugh at you.), you’re either okay or a step away from being on the street. People accept “Writer” as an occupation without questioning it too much, unless they don’t know a lot about what it takes to be a writer and make a name for yourself.

Since my sign-up date, I have done nothing, but write job proposals. Placing a price on your hourly rate, or your rate per 100 words, or your per job rate is tough. Like any other creative being, I want to pay my bills, put food on the table, provide for my health, and be able to breathe. If I have a rough week, I want to know that I don’t have to write my ass off this week in order to make ends meet.

So, after writing all of these proposals, I finally got a response. It seemed promising, until a little while ago when my original quote of $300 is now being asked to go down to $30-$45 a month. I understand it’s a newish business, I respect that, but here is what I am being asked to do: Monthly blog posts, creative marketing, and some creative PR packages to get jewelry into fashion magazines. That entails a lot of work, and truth be told, $300 is not my normal rate. The more we go back and forth, the more she seems to want out of me, and I have to wonder if I am simply up against the eight other people that also bid on the job, or if she really thinks that is what my time is truly worth. Regardless, she has received a sample of my work and can decide for herself. If you want quality work, don’t insult me.

After handling that, I was then sent 15 pages of a novel for another job. I have to say, I was annoyed when I got to the end because even with all the mistakes and changes that would have to be made, there was an awful lot of potential in there and I wanted to keep reading (and correct everything, because it’s force of habit!). I bid on the job. I gave a very decent price for editing a first novel, well within the person’s budget, and I will see how it goes. However, I am sick and tired of the bullshit involved.

If you want something done professionally, don’t insult the professional you’re trying to hire for the job. If you want someone experienced and intelligent, don’t expect them to waste their time if you aren’t willing to properly compensate them. Never have I tried hiring someone for something on a creative level, and then insulted their intelligence and effort by countering their quote. It’s hard enough for me to put a price on myself, but when you insult me, it makes me want to respond by letting you know how unprofessional you are.

You want something done right? Come to play, or get the fuck out of my way.

Writing Is Something…

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For the record, I always give eye contact, unless you happen to be reading over my shoulder while I write, and then I might just knock you out. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Never stand behind a writer!