Blame It On The Pain

2015-06-142015-06-15 Miss Poison Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Life, Migraines, Musings, Pain, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Rain, Sunday, Work, Writing Cat and Kitten, Chronic Pain, Cooking, Editing, Exhaustion, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Pain, Sunday, Work, Writing

UGH! Yes, that’s what I have to say. I’m tired, because apparently “crack of dawn” in my house means “We’re all awake Mommy! Don’t you want to feed us?” Mmm…not so much. LOL.

After truly forcing myself to get things done yesterday, today barely feels like a Sunday. It is quiet, thankfully, and there’s supposed to be a thunderstorm later on. At the very least, rain is predicted for the first half of the week, so I’m content with that because it explains a lot of my aches and pains. The rest is from overdoing it. The mileage I clocked on my pedometer over the last few days is insane.

I completed all of my jobs, except for the big one. I will focus on that this week, as much as humanly possible. I hope additional work comes in, especially proofreading and anything else that isn’t mind-numbing and/or soul-sucking. The faster the job, the faster I get paid, and that makes my life slightly easier in the moment, which is a huge help.

Today I am allowing myself to take it easy. I’m in clean PJ’s with wet hair, I already did a load of laundry, and I completed 95% of the prep for Sunday dinner. Everything else can wait until later or tomorrow because “rush” isn’t in my vocabulary at the moment.

For now I think it’s safe to say that I have some things I want to accomplish going into this week, but beyond that, I can only take things on a day-to-day basis. My pain has escalated to the point where my daily activities revolve around how much pain I am in. I have been off of traditional prescription pain medication for over two years now. For every doctor that assumes we are all drug-seeking addicts: SCREW YOU. Living my life each day with little to no access to genuine pain relief is agonizing. I do take Eastern medicine when I am able because herbs work when taken properly, but through trial and error I have come to decide that the new herbs for lower body pain is not something that should be taken each night. I’ve had several episodes where the combination of different compounds made me sick for a good 24 hours after taking it. So seen, even some herbal remedies have their side effects. Acupuncture is next on my list. No, I am not afraid of needles. In fact, I barely register that sort of thing because the pain I am in each day is so severe, little things simply don’t show up on my physical radar.

I am hoping this will not be a summer chock full of migraines. I am strongly considering starting a new migraine journal if things get out of hand again. I do have medication for that which can be taken daily, but it’s horrible to start during the summer because one of the side effects is that you MUST drink at least 120 ounces of water every single day and the second is that you don’t sweat. It’s not a good combination of immediate side effects during rough summer conditions, so I might start it again in September when things start to cool down and I am able to focus on the dosing. I’ll have to download an app for my phone because it is all too easy for me to forget whether or not I took medication each morning. With tiny pills, I often find it easier to forget as opposed to the monster pills that you simply cannot forget. Odd, but true for me.

I hope everyone has had a delightfully restful weekend. I’m off to take a nap. I woke up WAY too early this morning and since I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m not going to beat myself up because I need to rest. In the words of my Uncle: It is what it is.

I’ll be back with more interesting things soon.

XO…L

alarmclock — It’s usually 4:00 a.m., I’m lucky if it’s 5:30 or later. The enchantingly beautiful cat and kitten are featured on the ABOUT page.

Mid-Week Musings

2014-12-10 Miss Poison Life, Migraines, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Rain, Reading, Snow, Writing Images/Photos/Quotes, Life, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Silver Birch, William Shakespeare, Writing

“This life, which had been the tomb of his virtue and of his honour, is but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” –William Shakespeare

I am grateful to have been spared the snow that was predicted for my area yesterday. Yes, there was plenty of rain. Two inches of snow is expected between today and tomorrow, which is easily handled and doesn’t bother me in the least. I am incredibly grateful to be able to write in a home with heat, where I can nurse my injured feet (Don’t ask. I feel like I’ve been in six inch spike heels for a month!) and nurse my post-migraine stomach issues (If this happens to you, I highly recommend Zico Coconut Water. I’ve been religiously drinking it post-migraine for four years. In a pinch, Gatorade or Powerade will do, but they will not rehydrate you anywhere near as quickly, or as naturally, as Coconut Water. Zico is my personal preference after horrible experiences with some utterly vile brands.). I did manage to get some sleep, but I’ve been having the freakiest dreams and nightmares. Whenever you watch a TV show or a movie and you dream about it afterwards, you have to decide if it really affected you or if it’s simply the last thing you saw before going to bed. Sometimes, I cannot decide and it nags at me.

Writers are influenced by all kinds of things. I, personally, don’t ever like feeling like I am borrowing or stealing someone else’s ideas. I realize that everything under the sun has already been thought of at one time or another, but that doesn’t make it right in my eyes. I spend a lot of time looking for a more original angle or taking pieces of my own life and twisting them into good fiction. There should be some finesse involved, it’s not something that is easy, but once the ideas flow, the words flow quite well.

I am trying to finish reading two books before starting anything new. Unfortunately, even though I truly want to read both books, my brain just cannot comprehend words the way I normally do. I’m going to blow it off as a sluggish end to the year and not take it too personally. I can always break them out when I’m feeling better. No harm, no foul. It’s incredibly bizarre for me to not be able to finish a book within a day, or a few days, so this long period of time where I am staring at the same page is unbearably frustrating for me. I just might fail my Goodreads Reading Challenge this year, but I’m okay with that. It’s not the end of the world, just something I enjoy participating in. Maybe I’ll skip it next year, maybe I won’t, but I think committing myself to more than 12 books is probably a stretch, so if I do decide to partake, 12 it is.

I realize this is scattered and that my last few posts have been pretty sub-par. I have yet to decide if it’s better to not post at all or to post and be real. Today, you get the real. I’ll figure the future out on a day when my brain decides to fire on all cylinders.

All the best…..

Look At The Rain…

Quote 2014-10-22 Miss Poison Quotes, Rain Haruki Murakami, Quotes, Rain, Reality

“Look at the rain long enough, with no thoughts in your head, and you gradually feel your body falling loose, shaking free of the world of reality. Rain has the power to hypnotize.” ―Haruki Murakami