Thank Goddess It’s Friday!

2015-01-23 Miss Poison Fridays, Honesty, Musings, People Helping People, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Snow, Support, Winter, Writing Fridays, Musings, Poison In Lethal Doses, Snow, Support, Weekends, Writing

What a horrific week. I am not sorry to move into the weekend, not even with 4-7 inches of snow currently predicted between tonight and tomorrow. There hasn’t been much snow to speak of this winter. Yes, for that I should be grateful, and I am, but I do like a few inches on the ground to sort of make a weekend feel cozy at times. It’s nice to settle in front of a movie or hunker down with a book and a gigantic mug of tea.

I have absolutely no plans for this weekend. Serious rest & relaxation are probably the only things I truly need now.

I am working on a manuscript for a client and I am doing it completely gratis. Yes, I do have my rules about this sort of thing, I’ve spoken about this many times, but there was something about this person that tugged at my heart, and I 100% offered to do it in my spare time. There’s a difference between someone expecting it for nothing or next to nothing, and an entirely different thing when you are offering to help someone.

Everyone deserves to have a great editor work with them, even if they cannot afford to pay for that person’s services. Good deeds are good for the soul, and they’re unselfish. I had some wonderfully supportive educators very early on in my writing career. By helping someone out, I feel as though I am honoring everything they instilled in me. A mitzvah is a mitzvah, I will not be asking for credit as her editor. It feels good to help someone bring their story to life and to others. If I can empower a woman by assisting and/or advising, I will. I might come off a certain way at times, but at the core of who I am, I’m a good person. No one has to tell me that, I see it in the things I willingly do for others without thinking about it.

To everyone that sent me messages of support yesterday and this morning, or simply checked in on me: THANK YOU (You all know who you are. You guys ROCK!). I really appreciate you all having my back like that. I am considering an alternative, that way you all still get a social media page for this platform. If anyone has any legitimate suggestions, could you please pass them along via the comments section? That would be most appreciated. 🙂 I’ve thought about Google+, but quite frankly it confuses me. However, out with the old, in with the new. When I logged in this morning, Google greeted me like a person. There’s a lot to be said for that.

Okay my lovelies, I am off to check on my girls and, because I’m so sleep deprived, catch some rest. Here’s hoping today is a better day than all the other days that came before.

Now Please, GO FUCK YOURSELF

2015-01-222015-01-22 Miss Poison Being Real, Facebook, Honesty, Poison In Lethal Doses, Things That Enrage Me, Unfiltered, Unnecessary Drama, Writing Facebook, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unfiltered, Writing

I heard back from Facebook this afternoon.

I apologize to anyone that followed the Poison In Lethal Doses page or that had me as a friend via the site (you still have me as a friend, and you should know how to find me via phone if we’re really close, or e-mail.).

I want everyone here to know that even after confirming my identity, they have made this claim:

- Your account must list your authentic name and birthday. (It IS authentic, as in FUCKING REAL. I think I know when I was born, it's on all my legal documents! Are we going to crack down on all the hate mongers and question their authenticity? How many people have bullied children into SUICIDE? You're seriously worried about ME being REAL? I am astounded. Is Facebook run by modern-day Nazi's?)
- Personal accounts must represent individual people only. It's a violation of
Facebook policy to use a profile to represent anything other than yourself (ex:
celebrities, pets, ideas, objects). (Who the FUCK was I "representing" other than myself?! If you can't tell me the truth about what I supposedly did, you're lying. I don't interact enough on there to have violated anything.)
- Using your account to repeatedly contact strangers for business or dating
purposes is not allowed. (Yeah, because on top of everything else in my life, I am a hooker and JUST on Facebook. Seriously?!)

Further proof of Facebook's cancerous tumor resides with a writer's group I joined. I was not the only writer/editor in the group and pretty much every editor was looking for work. One in particular said "Will work to pay my rent." I know the problem resides here because as soon as I created a new account to apologize to anyone that might need to know my whereabouts, with the intention of deleting the piece of shit later on today, and joined the group, I was locked out of the new account almost immediately. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to be able to put two and two together.

If you are a member of this group, be forewarned. I was one of the first 100 members and it has now grown to nearly 3000 people. Someone in that circle has issues, and everyone ought to be very cautious.

Thank you to Facebook for proving what I have always said about it. I apologize to the few people I actually supported wholeheartedly via the site. I will continue to follow you as I am able.

As for Facebook, GO FUCK YOURSELF. And please be advised that I will let anyone and everyone know what a bunch of !@#$suckers you truly are.

Perhaps I will start a Poison In Lethal Doses Pinterest page instead. As far as I know, they seem to appreciate my honesty and whimsy.

Love to you all, HONESTLY.

You Don’t Want A Writer On Your Bad Side

2015-01-22 Miss Poison Facebook, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Writing Facebook, Pissed Off, Social Media, Writing

I have just spent nearly seven hours trying to prove to Facebook that I’m a REAL person and not a computer in India. No, I am not kidding about that last part.

This is one of those ridiculous problems people have been dealing with for several years now with this crap-ass version of social media that people are obsessively addicted to.

At first, I was simply pissed off. Then I did a little research, mostly because I vividly remember someone else mentioning this recently happening to her where Facebook up and decided that she couldn’t use the name she has always used because “it’s not her legal name”. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re not spewing hate, terror, bullying, party to a serious crime, doing something truly illegal, and/or pretending to be a member of law enforcement or our military, you should be left the fuck alone. If you want to post as Donald Duck, go for it. And as a general rule, if you want your privacy, but still want to be a part of this crap, I truly do not care if you post a photo of yourself or not. It’s not necessary.

Overall, I’m not a social media fan. I do use Facebook for my professional career and for this platform. I am able to keep in touch with people I want to keep in touch with, and remain involved with things that are immediate and/or important to me. Beyond that, it’s not necessary.

Demanding that people provide you with their driver’s license, Social Security card, passport, birth certificate, etc., as “forms of I.D.” is BULLSHIT. On top of being a major invasion of privacy, you’re turning your users into even bigger morons.

You’ve risen because this world is full of followers, but I assure you, you’re preparing yourself for a major fall. If it was 2008, I’d still be with MySpace, which never once invaded my privacy or questioned my honesty as a human being.

If this is not resolved quickly, I will officially part ways with Facebook. There is no way in hell I am going to rebuild what it took me four and a half years to establish. Screw that!

The Truth Is…

2015-01-21 Miss Poison Being Real, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Being Real, Beliefs, Faith, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, Pain, Poison In Lethal Doses, Sense Of Self, Writing

I am sick of it all. I am exhausted beyond measure. I feel emotionally shredded.

I’m tired of people trying to emulate me. I realize they lack vision, manners, and basic common sense. No matter what people say, we’re not all “born with it”.

Fibromyalgia pain is gutting me. There are too many days I cannot walk, and many more where I cannot function. And yet, I keep working my tail off.

I believe in empowering others, especially women.

I believe in loyalty, love, friendship, and being able to combine the three. I believe in being a devoted friend, no matter what. I don’t believe in keeping score. Life isn’t a hockey game and friends shouldn’t try to rack up points with one another.

I believe in being a good sister, but there are days even I have my limits.

I believe in being a good cousin, but again, I have my limits.

I believe in being a good niece.

I believe in being a good partner, but I don’t believe in being with someone because I am afraid of being alone. I’m not. I would rather be alone than be in a bad relationship. Hell, I’d rather read a book than be in a bad relationship!

I will always stand my ground. I will not waver in who and what I am. I am confident in the person I have become. I am not without my faults, but I’m well-aware of what they are. No one is perfect.

I believe in talking someone down off a ledge. Unfortunately, I can’t talk myself down off of mine.

I have faith, intelligence, strength, talent, and skills. And yet, where Fibromyalgia dwells, pain often tries to rob me of it all.

Freelance Doesn’t Mean Free

2015-01-20 Miss Poison Being Real, Clients, Creativity, Editing, Exhaustion, Honesty, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Things That Enrage Me, Unbelievable Crap, Work, Writers, Writing Being Real, Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stress, Work, Writing

Some days, I am utterly appalled by the audacity of others. There is a fine line between offering to help someone as a form of empowering another woman, and then dealing with the opposite side of the coin where someone wants you to do a job, but then wants you to lower your rate.

When I work with someone for the first time on a novel length project, or something larger (like a trilogy), I respectfully ask for 30-50% up front as a down payment. This protects me if the person eventually backs out. If they do, I’ve at least gotten something for my hard work. When a person jumps on my schedule and then tells me the down payment is “too high” (By my standards, it was actually too low.), but already admitted she was going to pay a hell of a lot more to another editor who could not take her until the end of next month, it grates on my hard-working nerves. I don’t like being screwed with.

Just like everyone else, I have bills to pay. They come every month, like clockwork, and none of them are willing to negotiate with me. Sometimes, you don’t eat because someone wants to wait two weeks to pay you. It sucks.

I’ve discussed my philosophy before about hiring an editor and it still stands solid: COME TO PLAY. Expect to pay. Yes, you can “shop around” for someone less expensive, but inevitably, you do get what you pay for.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve done thousands of dollars worth of work for little to no money. It’s terribly insulting to someone with 20 years of experience, but a job is a job. I will take a proofreading job if it will pay a bill or put food on the table. I will beta read for someone if that means I’m being paid. It’s not fun, but it is what it is.

I truly wish every aspiring writer knew how to use spell check, understood that commas are crucial, and didn’t have a negative attitude towards having to pay someone for WORK. Lets face facts, no one goes to work for free. You may love your job (I know a handful of people that do.), but ultimately you love your paycheck as well. Even a shitty paycheck can pay the rent/mortgage, pay for food, keep the lights on, etc. As a woman that has to do it all herself, I find myself less and less amused by the greed of others.

Alas, I’m simply venting. I have a migraine and because I’ve had terrible struggles with sleep of late, I know it will be a long time before my head hits the pillow. On the plus side, I have several hours all to myself tomorrow afternoon into the early evening. I am FINALLY going to change my hair color after saying I would do so for the past month. That might seem silly, but a company did send me a product to use and write reviews, and that’s one of the fun things about having a beauty blog on the side. I really think going back to that for a while and allowing myself to be creative would be beneficial to my health. I’m sure no one wants to read my bitching. God, please grant me the Serenity not to murder all of these idiots.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a superior day for us all. 🙂

Stirring The Cauldron

2015-01-19 Miss Poison Cancer, Generosity, Goals, Hope, Inspiration, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses Cancer, People Helping People, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stephen Amell, Stirring The Cauldron

There is a humorous saying in my family: “When Lisa gets bored, she gets dangerous.” It’s truly a joke, I’m basically a sweet kitten ~~from hell~~, but right now, I’ve got a TON on my plate and it’s beyond overwhelming.

I hate it when people use the excuse of being “busy” so as not to do something or be present. I refuse to do that which I dislike SO much. Yes, I’m busy. So what. I can still make time for what’s important to me, and exactly who is important to me. If you know me well, you know I’ll drop anything and everything to help a friend or family member in need ~~providing I can stand you~~.

So here I sit, hammering out details for a charity drive. I am exhilarated with ideas and I will be sharing all of the necessary information here that way no one can say they didn’t know about it, did not know they could help no matter where they live, etc. Again, NO EXCUSES. I cannot and will not force anyone to care strongly about things that are important to me, but I can encourage you to get involved if at all possible, ~~or I just might visit you with a rather large hockey stick~~. People often say they want to help others, but it’s, more often than not, just talk. I rarely see action, which is precisely why I’ve decided to take action in my own way.

I am SO inspired by this. It took over a month for this shirt to arrive.

The hoodie was VERY late to the party, but is SO warm, and I’m proud to be walking around in it.

And the video brings me to fucking TEARS (I’m blaming PMS.).

I am proud to have contributed, proud to be preparing to play a larger role that can affect a lot of people’s lives for the better, and thrilled to be stirring my cauldron when I really should be asleep.

You will know more about what I am doing when I’m greenlit.

The photos are mine and protected under my personal copyright, the video is not mine.

Soldiering On

2015-01-15 Miss Poison Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing Exhaustion, God/Goddess Of War, Poison In Lethal Doses, Soldiering On, Work, Writing

credited to Ashley Graham

I’m a little bit better today. The stress of being overbooked was grating on every last nerve. Being sick didn’t help. At this point, I think it’s just the remnants of a cold. At least that’s what my allergies are telling me. I no longer feel like I need a constant influx of soup. In fact, nothing sounds good to me, but that’s because I’m utterly exhausted.

I’m going to take the next few days to rest. I am long over-do for some “me time”. I plan on doing as little as humanly possible, and then rewarding myself for so much work well done. After which, I will get started on the next job that I was booked for. Hopefully more will come in between now and the next few days. Obviously I want to be doing the work, but I’d also prefer never to have to read anything again that makes me feel as though my soul just died. Butchering the English language and then handing it to me as “potential for publishing” drives me insane. I don’t think it would bother me at all if this wasn’t something I’ve been doing damn near all of my life. Unfortunately, it does bother me. On the positive side, it makes me feel content about my own body of work and how well it’s put together.

There will always be an endless amount of competition out there for writers, but ultimately, I have to have faith in myself and know that my work is solid.

And so, I soldier on. I’ll spend the weekend looking for my Goddess of War attire (it’s highly possible that involves jeans and a profane t-shirt.).

Praying For Sleep

2015-01-10 Miss Poison Being Sick, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Being Sick, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Sleep, Soup, Work, Writing

It is about four hours past the time my body said “Feed me!”. I have maniacally proofread and critiqued a novella until I thought I’d pull my own hair out of my head. I’m certain that high quality brain cells are now gone, never to be heard from again.

All day today I kept saying “I’ll be fine.”, but my head is telling me otherwise. Said head just forced me to take a Nyquil Liquid Gel. I will be drinking for the next 5 minutes to make sure it’s not sitting someplace odd, refusing to dissolve. I have no idea why pharmaceutical companies can make the tiniest birth control pills on the planet (Less than half the size of a Tic-Tac!), yet Nyquil has to be bigger than every vitamin I’ve ever taken. Explain that to me, please.

I am waiting for my infusion of soup. I ~~threatened someone’s life~~ kindly asked someone to pick some up for me, so I am hoping that it will arrive in a semi-hot state of being. All I want right now is soup…and my bed. God help me, this shit had better knock me out until tomorrow! Moreover, I do NOT want to be awake if and when the sun does rise (I didn’t check the weather forecast) because I am utterly sick of bright light. In fact, I might just have my soup in the dark.

I might even call in dead tomorrow. 😛

Too Many

Image 2015-01-10 Miss Poison Honesty, Images/Photos/Quotes, Inspiration, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses Honesty, Images/Photos/Quotes, Inspiration, People, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Stand Up, Step Back

My Goal This Weekend

2015-01-102015-01-10 Miss Poison Cancer, Fibromyalgia, Goals, Honesty, Humor, Images/Photos/Quotes, Life, Musings, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing Blood, Bone Marrow, Cancer, Fibromyalgia, Honesty, Humor, I Hate Being Sick, Images/Photos/Quotes, Life, Poison In Lethal Doses, Registry Drive, Save A Life, Work, Writing

In all seriousness, being sick made this a long, drawn out week. It was only made better by lots of fluids, rest, and soup. I am nothing if not serious about soup. Unfortunately, whatever this virus is, it lulled me into a false sense of security because it’s a sadistic bastard. I was fine for a day or two, and then it came back stronger and took me out. I lost an entire day of work because I desperately needed medicine and rest. I’m taking a less powerful dose of the medicine now, but I am still achy and not feeling like myself, plus the medicine is working on my lungs big time. Quite frankly, I did not know they were so deeply involved. It’s disgusting, really. Moreover, should this be making my kidneys feels like they’re going to run off and leave me? I’m certain the answer is “No.”

“Starve a fever, feed a cold.” is not nonsense, it’s true. My appetite hasn’t once been off. Obviously, I can’t eat certain things at the moment, but everything I can eat is making a difference, or at least that’s what I am being led to believe.

All things taken into consideration, I think I was a rock star this week. Sick as a dog, but under deadline, I completed the big manuscript yesterday afternoon ahead of schedule. Unlike the previously aforementioned ~~asshole~~ client I alluded to days ago, this one was incredibly respectful and immediately gave me professional feedback. I address issues right away, I don’t slip them into something serious nearly two full months after the fact. Yes, it still pisses me off.

I have two additional, albeit smaller, manuscripts to get through by Friday and then another client would like me to take a look at a couple of chapters. Both of them are aware that I am sick and both of them told me “No rush at all, there’s no deadline for this.” In all fairness, that probably only makes me work harder because I take my contracts seriously. I’ll do my best, but I might give myself part of this weekend to stay in bed and (possibly) watch season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. Approximately thirteen hours of Charlie Hunnam… It’s all part of the healing process, folks. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)

I’m tired, achy, unpleasant, and seriously contemplating breakfast. How badly do I want it? How much work is truly involved, and do I REALLY want to eat? The truth is, I’m hungry and I do want to eat, but knowing this involves some work on my part means I’m not running to the kitchen just yet.

Also, I am beyond saddened to learn that I will be unable to donate bone marrow because of the Fibromyalgia. I didn’t talk about this when I first found out earlier in the week because I was very upset and found myself in tears. One of my neighbors has been stricken with cancer. My first thought was “I can donate blood and get tested to see if I’m a match to donate bone marrow.” I lost my father to cancer when he was 63. He bravely battled various forms of cancer for 15 years before it took his life. I’ve lost many key family members to cancer, and hearing about this makes me ill to the core. I don’t feel that my neighbors’ children deserve to lose their father so young (I was both young enough, but still adult enough to handle it to the best of my ability without self-destructing.), so I am determined to do whatever I can to help. After days of research, I found out this morning that Fibro patients cannot donate at all. My brother CAN be tested and is more than willing to donate, but since I cannot, and feel like shit for it, the organization has suggested I put together a registry drive in my area to help bring about awareness and possibly save some lives. I will speak with them about this next week. I’m very upset that this is all that I can personally do, but I believe something MUST be done, so I am taking the initiative. If you live in the Northeast Philadelphia area, maybe you can volunteer or come out to the drive and get tested. I will provide a date and time as soon as I know more.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Saturday. I hope everyone has a good one.