Pieces Of Me
In Some Situations
In some situations, you are the problem. In others, you are the problem solver. In the last week, I have been both the problem and the problem solver, but I’m proud of myself because I found a way around the problems and managed to solve them without losing my cool, yelling, screaming, or “unleashing the beast”.
It’s no secret that I have a temper. Push me and I will push back so hard, you’ll be in another country before you know what hit you. Over the last few years, I’ve worked really hard to dial back the temper and be a less anger-based person. So far, so good.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel and certain situations and people call for anger, but the day-to-day stuff does not. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” couldn’t be a more true statement or wiser advice. However, there’s a time and a place for every thing.
This past week I’ve struggled with my health, with work, and with things in my personal life. I’m concerned about my health, but all I can do is pray for the best and handle things as they come my way. Work, by comparison, is uncomplicated. I find it interesting how very specific projects land in my lap, and they’re 100% in my wheelhouse. It just goes to show you that the right people find you at precisely the right time. I truly have no explanation for all the batshit crazy people, but that’s life. There’s no true rhyme or reason, it simply is what it is.
I’d like to thank all of the new followers that have come on board over the last few weeks. It’s so lovely to see readership grow in a positive way. 🙂 I also have to thank those of you following on Twitter. Feel free to follow and let me know what else you’d like to see here.
For now, all I can say with certainty is that stress and snow are causing me to not sleep well. Every night I have intentions of being in bed at 9:00 PM. Thus far, that’s just not working out and it’s driving me insane. Generally writers and insomnia go hand in hand, but because it screws up my days so badly, I am hoping this stops really soon. I’d rather write and edit all day as opposed to finally be hitting the pillow as the sun is rising. It’s not healthy and it’s disrupting so much that days just seem to blend into one another. I hope this coming weekend will be a breakthrough for me. Even if that breakthrough means I have to take a few sleeping pills to re-set my internal clock, I’m willing to do it. I simply cannot go on like this, it’s no way to live.
Work is going well. There is something wonderful about a writer that wants cohesiveness throughout their entire body of work and in turn, only wants to work with an editor that is honest, that pushes them to be better, and that truly knows their stuff. Working with an editor can be difficult if you’re unsure of yourself or you’ve heard only good things about your work prior to handing it over to a professional. It can be jarring for some people, and for others, it’s about revising, releasing, and moving forward. Detaching from your work is hard at times, but it’s the only way you grow as a writer.
I’m grateful to be booked up and to be sent projects I am highly knowledgeable about. I’ve taken way too many jobs where I didn’t know all the things I should have known about the subject matter, but because they were only critiques or proofs, I didn’t have to be, I just had to give my honest opinion and correct errors that had previously been missed. Editing is completely different. I’ve been very lucky to be sent things I know a lot about. Sometimes, especially in situations such as these, knowledge is power. Knowledge helps you make someone a better writer, a stronger storyteller. In turn, you come away feeling good about yourself too and then it’s not “just a job”.
Not everyone is a writer. Most people are born with the talent and the ability. It’s the creative voice and the creative mind unleashed. It’s not for everyone, and I think it’s important for people to realize that. I read plenty of manuscripts that make me cringe and many that make me smile. Okay, so the larger percentage makes me cringe, but you get my point.
Talent is what sets everyone apart. I may not be talented like five other women in the same room with me, but I know my skill-set very well and I’m not going to make myself small for anyone. I’m already short enough. 😉
Enjoy the rest of your week my lovely bunch of nuts.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Booked
I have to admit, I’m slightly impressed with myself at the moment. I’m double-booked with two sizeable manuscripts. There are bonuses to these two jobs, one of which is repeat business. Nothing quite says “You’re really good at what you do.”, than someone wanting to hire you on a repeat basis so that they never have to hunt around for someone new each time. Finding an editor that you trust, that pushes you, that is fair, but direct, is rare. I feel blessed at the moment, and I hope that feeling continues to hold true and flourish.
Today is my best friend Marion’s birthday. It’s a BIG birthday, so I am sending an epic amount of love to her. I wish she was here so we could talk, laugh, eat something fabulous, and share a bottle of wine. Actually, we’d need two. 😉
Marion sent me the most beautiful card today. I damn near cried. With nearly 20 years of friendship, through all the good and bad, she has remained the truest of any friend and I think that is to be commended.
When you’re going through shitty times, that is precisely when you learn who your true friends are. I missed an e-mail very early this morning from a friend because I was distracted before going to bed, but when I woke up this morning and saw it, it just plain made my day. Some people are immense rays of light. They bring goodness, kindness, sweetness, and serenity wherever they go. Others, not so much. Or at the very least, they make it incredibly difficult to focus on their positive qualities.
I find myself debating a friendship at the moment, and it makes me sad. On one hand, I know I was never anything short of an amazing friend. On the flipside, I wonder where some people come from that they twist their own personal issues into something so incredibly dramatic, that it gives you a stomach ache. I have to really ask myself how much I value this particular friend and friendship. Under normal circumstances, I’d truly just say “Go fuck yourself!” But when I value someone, I put much more effort forward. Some people are deserving of that effort, and others eventually prove that they are not. I find it sad. I’m a girl’s girl to the core. It is not beneath me to fully support my friends, to tell them I’m proud of them, and be there for them no matter what. Good, bad, happy, sad. I realize not everyone in life feels the same way. When women behave like that, it makes me lose respect for them. Sad, but true. Not everyone’s true colors are what they originally profess to be. 😦
Some days, the good outweighs the bad. I pray we all have more days like that.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
You Become A Writer…
“You become a writer because you need to become a writer—nothing else.” –Grace Paley
Your Thorns…
“Your thorns are the best part of you.” –Marianne Moore
Conditions
Conditions
There is a moment when you realize that the relationship you are/were in has more conditions placed on it than you ever realized. This can easily apply to friendships as well.
If you abandon, do not expect my loyalty.
If you disrespect, do not expect my respect.
If you are genuine, don’t turn on falseness when it suits you.
If you care, then care all the time, not as a matter of convenience.
If you’re truly concerned, then do something. Don’t ask what can be done, listen and actually help.
Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
You never know when the walls you place up against someone else might be what destroys them. It’s not healthy or wise to treat someone as lesser than you simply because they are different.
The flip side is this:
No matter what I may be going through, I will still be present for you.
If you ask, then expect honesty.
If you show me you don’t care, don’t expect me to be blind to that.
If you abandon, do not expect to be forgiven.
If you get ugly with me, please don’t expect me to eat that politely with a knife and fork.
If you isolate me, I will make certain that you know you no longer exist in my eyes.
People ask for different things in relationships and friendships, but often times when they get what they ask for, they run and hide. It’s hard for me to take someone seriously when I see that kind of behavior.
Sometimes a person’s behavior actually has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. However, lack of communication is usually what starts fights, hostility, anger, and resentment.
Communicate, appreciate, validate, and don’t disrespect the people in your life. If your needs change, SPEAK UP. No one is a mind reader. There are no results in sitting around bitching, whining, and complaining about something. There ARE results in communicating and letting the other person know precisely what is going on.
If you’re going to dissolve any type of relationship, have the balls to do it to a person’s face. Don’t do it via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or text message. That’s low, and classless. Treat people the way you want to be treated. And if you cheated, do everyone involved a favor and don’t make that shit public. Isn’t it bad enough you’re a piece of shit, does the world really need to know about it too?!
I swear, I was born on the wrong planet!
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Sometimes People Try…
Has this ever happened to you? A common misconception in my life is that I’m a sweet, nice, gullible, passive chicken shit. The truth is, I’m the exact opposite. I’d never use the words “nice” or “sweet” to describe myself, though I am capable of being both depending on how I am treated.
I’ve come across a great many people in my life who didn’t like the fact that I don’t conform, and that I refuse to allow myself to be boxed into a mold. There is immense power and strength in that, and yes, these people did things to try to slander me and/or diminish me in some way. They didn’t succeed. I find it incredibly sad when the biggest bullies in the world are people who should know better, especially when they’re parents.
It’s Okay To Take It Easy
I intended to get some work done today. I am doing an editing job to help someone out from a writer’s group I previously belonged to. I am also doing an editing job because it’s my job to do so. However, with no set deadline, I found myself procrastinating on opening the file. I’ve already done several pages on it already and the author hasn’t stated when she wants or needs it back. Considering she’s just blown the last week, I don’t feel like I need to be putting in 10-12 hour days on it just yet. In turn, I feel no guilt whatsoever in taking it easy today.
I’ve answered almost all of my e-mails, no easy feat that. I’ve watched my British Bombay (a breed of solid black cat. The major difference between them and an American Bombay are the shape of their face, ears, and their eye color. Plus, she’s all mine and looks so sweet and innocent while curled up like a bum.) sleep in various positions in front of me. The little lamb chop purred all through her nail-clipping, as if she was being brushed instead of having her nails cut down by half. (It was long overdue. She’s been slippery in her methods of escaping me whenever she sees the handle of the special nail trimmer I have.) I tooled around with the new Twitter page for this platform, @PoisonPlatform. It’s not much at the moment, but it will get there, though it feels slightly pointless. And then, for actual fun, I watched Arrow, The Originals, and the last two episodes of Stalker, which I missed. Perhaps later I’ll watch something else. (Banshee, definitely Banshee.)
After more than a week of being the exact opposite of myself, I am thinking very sharply today and feeling next to no pain from the Fibromyalgia. A little back soreness, yes, but none of the severe pain from neck to toe that I feel every single day of my life. I’m sure it will return with a vengeance the second I think about it too much.
Monday is Imbolc/Groundhog Day. My one sign that Spring is around the corner is that the bunnies have returned to my backyard. They’re chewing away at the grass that has peeped up beneath the melting snow. Clearly they’ve been all over the yard, as the snow is chock full of bunny paw prints. CUTEST.THING.THIS.WEEK. The morning doves are also visiting regularly. The thought of fresh-cut grass sends me into a horrific sneezing fit, and yet I would welcome it over the somewhat Siberian temperatures. Siberia is in my blood, but knowing that it will be -10 with the wind chill doesn’t exactly do anything for me.
Originally I prepared a different post for today, but I want a few days to re-evaluate it (read: psychoanalyze it to death). It has the potential to make some people uncomfortable, which isn’t my intention, but philosophical and theological debates are quite interesting to me and I think it’s important to cover subject matter that is personally interesting, even if it might make a few people think a lot more closely than they normally do.
This is the first Super Bowl that I will probably miss. I’m a Patriots fan (and a New York Giants fan), but right now I’m about as interested in football as I am in watching snow melt. So long as everyone is safe, live and let live.
How are you spending your end-of-January/Super Bowl weekend? If it’s in Hawaii, do me a favor and skip the comments.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 