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Where The Hell Does The Year Go?

2014-12-31 Miss Poison Blessings, Empathy, Fibromyalgia, Friends, Friendship, Generosity, Goals, Growth, Happiness, Honesty, Integrity, Kindness, Life, Love, Loyalty, Musings, People, People Helping People, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Professional, Reflection, Relationships, Spoken Words, Thoughts, Unfiltered, Writing 2015, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Humanity, Images/Photos/Quotes, Kindness, Love, New Year's Eve, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Prayer, Random Acts Of Kindness, Relationships, Respect, The Law Of Three, Writing

Where The Hell Does The Year Go?

Every year I’m semi-amazed I’ve survived and gotten this far: Both in life and in the day-to-day struggle. I have a lot to be grateful for.

I’ve had an incredibly rough two years. The years before that were not perfect, some were horrific in their lack of kindness, many had their battles, but this past year has humbled me in ways I never thought possible. It is very easy to lose sight of what we have in life, basic things we should all have. It’s a little too easy to take those basics for granted, until they’re taken away for long periods of time.

I read so many things where people are going through difficult shit. I choose not to advertise my problems because I do have some semblance of privacy and dignity. I also don’t feel that’s what people come here for. I know I can bitch and be myself, but do I really want to dwell on that crap? No. I want things to get better, I want to be positive, and I want to move forward. By whining, you drown in your own crap. On top of being a disgusting visual, it’s also very negative and I don’t want that, for myself or for anyone else.

I am eternally grateful for being blessed with the ability to project my voice through the written and spoken word. As I watch so many people struggle with something that comes so easy to me, I can’t help but see the differences between art and mere words. I openly admit it leaves me frustrated with a lot of people at times.

The very small group of people that matter in my life: THANK YOU. You all know who you are. I am blessed with people who talk me down from my various ledges, entertain my insanity, listen to me, commiserate with me, support me, and are loyal with kind, caring, generous hearts. I respect and appreciate the lack of drama. I respect and appreciate your love, friendship, humor, and the things so many of you go out of your way to do to make me laugh, smile, and/or cheer me up. The thoughtfulness knows no boundaries. It is amazing to know that there are people who have my back, as opposed to those who would prefer to stab me in it. Please know how appreciated you all are. I have an outrageous amount of love in my heart for all of you.

It gives me an endless amount of professional pleasure and pride to be able to bring you “Poison In Lethal Doses”. Tomorrow marks 20 years of both my experience as an editor and the amount of time I have spent writing “Poison” pieces. It feels like it all just started yesterday. I’ve grown so much as a writer that I know time has passed, yet it feels surreal to me. What I used to do and what I do today are two very different beasts. The evolution is amazing for me to see.

2015 will challenge me in my personal and professional lives. I pray it is not quite as challenging for all of you because I would not wish aspects of my life on anyone, but I do hope it challenges you in positive ways that brings an abundance of happiness into your lives.

Ultimately, my vow is to be here and be present for all of you, and for myself. I vow to finish the unfinished and move forward with things that are of the utmost importance. On a smaller note, I am going to attempt to be 98% caffeine free by February. I would prefer to use it just when I have a migraine, as opposed to using it as a stress crutch.

Big things, little things, good things, bad things. No matter what, let us be grateful for it all and what it teaches us. Life is short. It’s not always easy, and it’s a very lonely place without someone in life to turn to that understands. Tonight, no matter what it is you’re doing or believe in, stop and say a little prayer for everyone that matters to you in life. It’s not about religion or belief systems, it’s about humanity. Once you lose sight of that, it’s all downhill, so I think it’s important to remain in touch with what makes you a human-being. While not the most friendly person on the planet, I still have compassion and empathy for others. I still make an effort. I am always present for those I care about, no excuses. Practice a random act of kindness, you’ll see how good it makes you feel as well, thus serving a dual purpose. That which you send out into the world comes back to you threefold. Make it count.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and safe New Year!

They’re Certainly Entitled…

Quote 2014-12-11 Miss Poison Integrity, Quotes Harper Lee, Integrity, Opinions, Quotes, Respect

They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for their opinions… but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.” ―Harper Lee

Apparently, Some People Can’t Read Warnings…

2014-12-112014-12-11 Miss Poison Copyrights, Editing, Editors, Experience, Honesty, Integrity, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Social Media, Work, Writing Copyrights, Editing, Editors, Experience, Honesty, Integrity, Knowledge, Poison In Lethal Doses, Work, Writing

I think I make myself incredibly clear. Clear to the point of overly repetitive! I’m starting to think I should come with a warning label, because some people are so stupid they cannot read the simplest of statements.

If you read my editor’s profile I strictly state that I will NOT do sample edits. I have done a few, but over time you see that the job you just did a sample for ends up going to someone else. It’s always the person with a lower bid. It’s not about how good you are, it’s about someone saving a few dollars. That’s fine. C’est la vie. However, I have now made it mandatory, part of my own personal policy if you will. I don’t give my work away for free, nor should anyone expect me to do so.

I received an inquiry late last night, complete with a chapter. Not only did the person not ask me anything, they simply said “Can you do a sample page? Thanks.” (I’d like to say that request wasn’t riddled with spelling errors, but it was. A simple request, filled with errors in spelling and grammar. For a second I said to myself “Do I just do it, or am I competing against two dozen other people?” The thought of losing out to someone else over a few dollars made me stand firm. I finally replied “I will only do the sample if I am the only person you are considering for the job. No one worth their salt gives their work away for free. Thank you” That’s not me being a bitch or egotistical, it’s laying down some important ground rules.

I’m always polite and professional, but I truly don’t think anyone worth their salt should give their work away for free. I will work with a person until they are happy with their manuscript, but I don’t think I should have to posture and/or bow down to whatever it is they’re looking for in a “sample”. If you’re hiring someone, read their bio. Look at their list of experience. Choose based on that. I might not always choose the person with the most experience, because sometimes they aren’t the right person for the specific genre, but I will choose the person that instinctively feels right in my soul.

My bio says “27 years of writing experience, nearly 20 years of editing experience.” (January 1st is my 20 year mark. 🙂 ) and lists all of my qualifications and precisely what I specialize in. It also clearly states that I no longer do sample edits because the practice has become unacceptable to me, not to mention it is frowned upon by the employer. Even they tell you that 99% of the time when you do a sample for someone, you will never hear back from the person and not to give your hard work away for free. For me, it’s really not worth it. Yes, I want the job, but I am not going to beg for it, not with an extremely long list of experience backing me up. Choose me because I am right for the job, or choose someone else. Either way, it’s okay.

As a writer, I am extremely careful who I share my work with. I don’t care who you are or how much trust I have in you, my work is MY WORK and there’s a line I simply will not cross. There are only two sets of eyes that have ever looked at my fiction work, and one set of those eyes is my own. Some people have seen brief excerpts or quotes, nothing more.

You really have to be careful to protect your work and shield it. There are thousands of cases in the court system for copyright infringement. There is always someone claiming to own a story when it was simply shared with them in friendship, or as a fresh set of eyes. I sign non-disclosure agreements to protect other people because I respect that they’ve worked hard. I do not want or need their ideas, and it is not my right to steal their work. My word is my bond, but if a piece of paper will also protect a client, then so be it. I feel the same way in kind because I have worked immensely hard on every single thing I’ve ever written.

I was lucky, because I was taught about copyrighting very young. New writers know next to nothing about how to protect themselves or their work, so I often have to step up and say something. Not everything you read on the Internet is true, so when in doubt, ask someone who has some experience.

Many new writers share their work via blogs and various platforms through social media. Therein lies your first mistake. Be a writer, share new material on blogs and social media, talk about new projects, but do NOT release privileged work until it has run the gamut with literary agents, editors, and/or you have already chosen to publish it yourself. Do extensive self-publishing research and don’t fall for any crap. Again, when it doubt, turn to someone knowledgable.

Above all, don’t do anything for work that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. A sample edit might seem fine to a lot of you, but to an experienced editor who already has a sample of her work posted to her profile, it is a grave insult. I won’t whore myself out for a “maybe”, nor will I whore myself out for a “yes”. If a person cannot show you respect, then you probably don’t want to work for or with them. Remember that. Your personal integrity is so much more important than anything else. It’s something someone can only take from you if you let them. I choose to keep my integrity in tact.

UPDATE: Integrity & Intuition will not lead you in the wrong direction. This person sent a chapter of her work out to every single person, 37 in total. I filed a complaint because clearly she wants free work if she’s doing that, and I usually get sent a prologue or a first chapter, never something in the middle. I was sent chapter 12, and the warning bells went off inside my head. She has listed the same job 4 times. They immediately flagged it and told me to continue reporting anyone that violates the terms of service because I could accidentally be booted for following the rules when I haven’t done anything wrong, but it’s hard when you’ve got 10 million customers and workers to be on top of every single incident. I feel better knowing I did what’s right. Always read the rules. It takes a few minutes, yes, but it gives you knowledge and shows you’re not a moron! I’m many things, a moron isn’t one of them.