I haven’t mentioned it, that I’m aware of, but these past few months I have prioritized my mental health above nearly everything else. I saw all the potential warning signs, and have not missed a single appointment, except the one my doctor had to cancel when he looked at his schedule and found out he’d been booked solid for a week he was not supposed to be in the office. He even apologized for it because it meant I’d be going almost a month without seeing him. When I first got back in with him as my treating physician, he told me how often I come in, and for how long, is 100% up to me. I choose twice a month, which totals out to nearly two hours. My therapist, who I met because of my doctor, is good. I’ve only seen her a few times since she started working there, but again, I have not missed a single session, and we’re still getting to know one another. They have both encouraged me to call them immediately and reach out if I need help. Believe it or not, I would prefer to rely on the people who spend the most time with me, and my doctor, unfortunately, is probably the person who knows me best from a medical perspective. Yes, he gets paid to get an “insider’s perspective”, but do I trust people with every thought I have? No. However, it feels good to have a doctor who knows I’d lose it on him if he ever stabbed me in the back.

Do what’s best for you. Mental Health MATTERS.

I know, realistically speaking, I might lose my battle one day. I’m more aware of it than I might ever admit. However, on occasion now, I have slightly more hope than usual.