14 February 2020

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It’s been an insane week for me health-wise. I was trying so hard to be positive (and remain positive. This is easier said than done.), but I have so much information I need to process and this will take time. I owe myself that before I talk about it.

I was fine-ish, until I got to the hospital. I’m now on day three of a fever, day two of chills, and day one of what I hope is just a passing stomach flu. As I was leaving my second appointment of the week yesterday, I realized I am badly dehydrated. I had been drinking 60 ounces of tea almost daily, but that’s not what my body needs; it needs water in order to function properly. I’m trying to rectify that misstep in my daily routine.

On a different note, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Unplugged

This weekend is going to plunge into Siberian-type temperatures. This morning, when I couldn’t sleep, it jumped from -10 to -12 in a matter of minutes. What’s worse is; you can feel it in your bones and on your skin. It is the kind of pain I would have blown off many moons ago, when Fibromyalgia was a word I’d never heard of. But now? Now the weather dictates more of my life than I care to admit.

This morning (Friday, the 12th), I unplugged my wireless router, landline, TV, and DVR. It’s an experiment from now until maybe Monday afternoon to see if I can maintain my sanity, and possibly give up the landline or TV/DVR permanently. The handful of shows I will miss are easy to catch OnDemand next week if I’m so inclined. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I also keep telling myself that these are things that distract me from getting a lot of work done. I’m not 100% certain if that is true or not, thus, the weekend of being, slightly, unplugged.

And so I sit here listening to Pandora on my cell phone (my one source of Internet access for e-mail and social media. I don’t have to be a complete masochist.), looking over the list of things I need to write, and want to write. I’m concerned that a few things may be controversial, which is precisely why I want to mull the subject matter over a bit before jumping on it, but when has that stopped me before? It hasn’t. However, there are sensitive things on the list and I do take into consideration the feelings of others as opposed to writing something that may, or may not, come off as a snap judgment. No matter how open-minded one may be, we all have moments where we’re slightly judgmental of something, someone, or a situation. It’s a fact of life. It’s not pretty, but it’s honest. The difference here is that I wouldn’t be writing it with malice, just wondering about the intent behind the actions of others.

balance

Friday was a day of surprises, amidst extremely sad news I learned prior to the doorbell ringing. The sad news is an entirely different story which I will likely tell in the coming weeks. I’m waiting to hear the excuse that goes along with it because there are some things in life people simply cannot talk themselves out of. I look forward to seeing what kind of bullshit story I get fed since I already know it’s a lie. People can think what they like about me, but I double and triple check my facts before I open my mouth, especially in regard to serious matters.

Onto the good stuff: Riley sent two dozen roses along with chocolate covered Oreos (which are SO good, they should be illegal) and a sweet little diamond heart necklace. Upon calling to be certain I received the roses, I sent him a quick photo from my phone and his immediate response was “They’re red! You HATE red. (This is true.) I ordered long-stemmed Sterling roses! What the bloody hell is WRONG with these people?! I told them white, yellow, or several dozen Calla Lily’s were the only acceptable alternatives. I’ll call you back, I want to have a word with these people.” And people think I’m bad?! Particular men like particular women. 😉

I received a sweet teddy bear from my Goddaughter because she thinks, due to the Fibromyalgia, that I need something “cuddly” to keep me company when I am “in the dark place”. I haven’t slept with stuffed animals in a LONG time, but man did that bear keep me company Friday night and during the day Saturday when I was sick.

Saturday afternoon I received a dozen yellow roses (there are actually thirteen, which I noticed when I was photographing them) from my Zia along with a stunning, grey/silver Catherine Malandrino scarf that I am almost certain she will want to borrow. It’s THAT pretty. Sadly, my mood was so soured by Friday’s news that I really wasn’t able to fully enjoy the whole “Look at all your roses” experience. I did, however, make sure to take some photos when everything was still pretty.

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The fact that there’s exactly ONE left and it’s the 22nd speaks wonders for my restraint.

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These are African roses and they’re still alive and vibrant.

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I do hate red, but the petals are really stunning and inspiring from a color standpoint.

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Little and cuddly.

I was able to get some writing done, but nowhere near what I anticipated due to feeling so sick from the cold. I try not to sleep during the day, but Saturday required a heating pad because the pain was off the charts crazy. 😦 By Sunday morning, everything was plugged back in. I tried, I failed, and I openly admit it was mostly the wireless router that I missed because I realized how much work I could be doing, but wasn’t getting done, so I had to say “Enough!”, and even though I didn’t turn the TV on until late that night, it was probably a good idea to unplug a bit and see if external things are distracting me or if my distractions are internal. Turns out, it’s 100% internal.

I can multitask like a boss, but Fibromyalgia pain and migraine pain, tempered with the horrific temperatures, was simply too much for me. I’m pretty sure my brain was partially frozen. 😦

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Unfortunately, and fortunately to some extent, this past week/weekend was productive and stressful, and it brought warmer temperatures with it. Nearly 60 degrees in February is doable, but because I pushed myself really hard Friday and Saturday, I’m lucky I was able to get out of bed yesterday. I will definitely be relying on self-care methods this week because I am in excruciating pain with no end in sight.

I’ve been doing my best to balance being plugged in and unplugged. There are benefits to both , but somewhere along the line, I became a WiFi slave and a DVR slut. 😦 Even still, I am going to try to unplug one weekend each month from here on in and see if that helps me focus on getting all the written work done that is slowly piling up. According to my inbox, the work is going to increase, but at least the workload is going to be fun.

Here’s hoping everyone is well and good and that everyone came away unscathed these past two weeks. I will be back soon.

Enjoy the full moon! 😀

© 2016 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.