Yes, I’m writing. Yes, I am on top of product reviews like you wouldn’t believe. Yes, I need a break. I am giving myself permission to take that much-needed break.
I’ve done ALL the hard things. I’ve buried almost all of my relatives. I’ve taken care of others to the breaking point. I’ve been selfless AF. It’s time for more self-care and less doing for everyone else. I deserve a break. NO ONE gets to tell me who the hell I am, except for me. ✌🏻 Freeing up my life, but only for fun things with good people. Book your appointments now. 😉
If I wanted the government in my healthcare, I would have fucked a Senator.
**Said politician couldn’t have been nicer, and agreed that America needs WORK. Talk about a vast understatement. He even extended himself for a meeting.**
I’ve had a migraine for almost thirty days straight, so bringing awareness to how severe and disabling this neurological disease is, is extremely important to me.
Maybe one day I will feel comfortable discussing how far I’ve had to go in terms of treatment methods. People who know wince. I’ve discussed it with very few people because I was immediately shamed while researching more progressive treatment methods. I was told it couldn’t be THAT BAD. Okay, live my pain for a month and see how you come back. 🙄 I don’t talk about it because I enjoy it!
Until then, please know migraine sufferers aren’t having a vacation when they bow out of family functions, having coffee, lunch dates, birthday dinners, weddings, etc. We’re not using it as an excuse to not have fun or celebrate life; we’re explaining why we can’t get out of bed. We wish we didn’t have to, especially to migraine deniers who wouldn’t know what to do if a vicious week-long migraine slammed into them. Until you’ve walked a thousand miles in my migraineur shoes, you have no right to judge me. I don’t engage with people who don’t understand that every time I get a migraine, I first have to assess what kind of headache I am dealing with. Is it my allergies? Is it my sinuses? Is it a tension headache? Is it coming from my jaw? Is it a stress migraine? I have to assess all of those things and then take the appropriate medication. Unfortunately, the appropriate medication doesn’t always work, and I end up in a vicious cycle I can’t break. I am not alone. I go for treatment next week. Here’s hoping it works.
It’s all black spots around my vision right now. The entire week has been a struggle and a daze for me. Yes, I’ve shared a few things on social media this week and made sure my website was updated; but that doesn’t mean I’m all right! I’ll respond to people when I can. I will write something significant when things feel less like constant emotional vertigo. I know my reaction is a trauma response and I have work to do, but I also know I can’t stare at a blank screen and force anything out of myself. I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally sick to my core.
I appreciate the few who reached out to ask if I’m okay or if I need anything, mostly my writing colleagues. I was genuinely touched by the sense of community and affection sent in my direction. It touched my heart.
When you try and process senseless loss, you also begin to see your circle more clearly. Unfortunately, mine needs a broom and hockey stick, and I have learned to be okay with clearing house when necessary. I’m a different person than I was when I last lost someone important to me. The mind does things to protect you without your realizing it, until the mental floodgates open. The body truly does keep the score, and the brain goes into self-preservation mode. This time around, I’ve gone into protection mode because I am always the protector of everyone I love. Loyalty is important. Some people have no intentions of riding out storms with you, and that’s okay. Better people do come along, and they stay. They listen. They hear you even when you’re not speaking. They care. They don’t take shit personally. Those are your tribe members; love them hard.
The BDS movement saw fit to release this last week, a move which targets Jewish businesses and Jews for harassment and violence. This is incredibly vile, not to mention, dangerous. This is how it began with the Nazis. If you don’t see a problem with this, please unsubscribe immediately.
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 