It’s not even 7:30 a.m. EDT and I’ve already scored 4,000 words and most of a new chapter. Is it terrible that I now want a nap after over 12 hours of work, stress, a migraine, and writing?
Musings
Monday
Mondays always creep up on us, unless there happens to be a three day weekend. For the past two weeks, my Mondays have simply been filled with stress. If there’s anything I need less of, it would be stress. If there’s one thing I need more of, it would be sleep.
Today, I shall try to get some writing done, and some paperwork prepped for tomorrow’s mail. I will also try to finish the two books I am currently reading (The Revenge Of Seven by Pittacus Lore and The Maze Runner by James Dashner), mostly because they go back on the 26th and I can’t renew them at the moment. I finished Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn over the weekend and all I can say about it is that it is eerily brilliant, and slightly terrifying. It also reminds me of a quote “You never truly know the person you marry.” In many instances, this is way too true.
I hope everyone has a great week. Please leave comments on whatever you desire and share your book finds with me as well. 🙂
Little Unknown Facts
Very few people know this about me, but I was once a Journalism Major. I had a double major (Journalism & Creative Writing) and a double minor (Writing For Television & Languages). I was constantly writing something at the time, and I still have a lot of my notebooks even though I have since moved five times.
My “Writing For Television” professor hated me, I am convinced of this. He would show us cinematic films and ask us to write our take on each one. I had some unhappy things going on in my life at the time, so I openly admit to sleeping through most of a semester. In fairness, he was showing us a lot of crap. Until one day, he brought out the Brian de Palma film that would change my life. It is, almost certainly, one of the reasons I am still a writer all these years later.
I wrote about this film’s mastery like nobody’s business. I worked my ass off. And as a reward, the professor gave me a failing grade on the paper and told me I “was ruining the other students’ work with my subject matter, had no writing talent whatsoever, and would NEVER be a published writer.” He wanted to know how I managed to get into the class in the first place. I laughed in his face, and walked out of the room smiling. This reaction baffled him, he had a terrible superiority complex. Little did he know, I was already being published, I just didn’t advertise it. I wasn’t allowed to return to the class, but that film still brings me back to why I write, and a lot of what I want to accomplish with my writing. When I write fiction, it plays out like a movie inside my head. If I can’t see it, it’s not going to work on paper.
My Creative Writing class had a similar outcome, except that this professor liked me. She liked that I wasn’t writing the same things everyone else was, that I always thought outside the box, but in the end, she too, failed me. She said I was a brilliant writer, but that she didn’t like that I was too busy writing in class to bother to take notes. Yes, that was her issue and that was why I failed. What’s the point of being creative when all a person wants you to do is take notes and study them? How is that embracing your talent?!
I slept through “Historical Writing”, but the professor was kind enough to let me make up for it by working for her a few days a week as an assistant.
Months later, I became very sick and left the program. However, I never stopped writing.
From those days to present, my work has changed drastically. Originally I wrote hardcore facts and opinions. I tackled life, death, sports, drug addiction, women’s issues, health, and grief. I didn’t venture too far out of that until 2006 when I became inspired by a particular type of fiction. Even then, it took me an additional four years before I’d sit down and try it for myself.
I still consider myself a writer of facts, and I still consider myself the same “balls to the wall” kind of writer I’ve always been, but with fiction, I find myself healing. It might seem like an odd concept, but there is a great deal of my soul in my work.
The main protagonist for the dark urban fantasy series which has some interesting historical fiction in the mix, is very loosely based off of myself. The premise of the story dates back to a story I heard repeatedly about my family as a child. I come from a multi-lingual, multi-cultural family. I don’t think any of the adults realized I understood them when they’d speak in front of me (even in English, they had a tendency to ignore the presence of children, not realizing that children comprehend far more than anyone ever realizes.), but when I did some of the original research for the story, I came to find that it wasn’t an old wives’ tale. Naturally, I embellished some of it because hey, it is fiction, and I changed many things, but I also made sure to weave a lot of truth in there as well. If you don’t know me really well, you won’t know the difference, but for me, it is freeing, enjoyable, and a happy place to visit. I like the world I’ve created. I look forward to bringing it to you when the time is right. 🙂
copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Friendship -VS- “Friendship”: Sincerity Or Malice?
FRIENDSHIP -VS- “FRIENDSHIP”: SINCERITY OR MALICE?
If there’s anything I truly hate in this world, it’s people not knowing how to be decent friends. It takes two, truly. Both people have to be committed to the same cause, which is the core of the friendship and what it is built upon. Unfortunately, you will often find that the other person generally doesn’t know your intentions and you may not figure out theirs until it’s too late.
Throughout the course of my life I have had both friends and “friends”, and it’s fair to say that we all have. The latter are the bottom feeders in this world who only come to you with falseness in their hearts. They pretend to be genuine, but they’re either intimidated by you, scared of your strength, jealous of you, or never have good intentions towards anyone. Sometimes it’s a mass combination of all of the above, and so much more. They are the types of people that are 1000 shades of fucked up and, no matter how sweet, kind, entertaining, genuine, or funny they appear to be, they are hiding behind a facade and not only lying to you, but lying to themselves. They will seem selfless, but they’re selfish, self-possessed, and have cruelty and hatred residing within their souls, and they choose to take it out on people that do not deserve it, as opposed to directing it at those that do.
I can only use myself as an example here. I give a LOT to the relationships in my life. I don’t know any other way to be. Need advice? I’m your girl. Need help hiding a body? What body? No one will ever find it. I have helped friends whenever they have needed help, regardless of what that help entailed. I feel that is the right thing to do. I do not like seeing my friends struggle and suffer if I am in a position to do something about it. I will talk to you for hours about anything and nothing, and I will truly listen to you. I’m not on the other end of the phone rolling my eyes or making faces, I am fully engaged. I am loyal and I am devoted. In short, I know my worth and value in all things, but especially as a friend. It is one of the things in life I am most certain of.
A lot of missteps in friendship are based on poor communication. If you choose not to say something to someone when, and if, it bothers you, that is YOUR fault, not THEIRS. Take ownership of your short-comings. I have my own faults here too. Sometimes it will take me a few days, weeks, or months to call somebody out on something I feel was inappropriate, wrong, and/or offensive. I don’t allow disrespect. However, even if it takes me some time, I will still do it. I do not avoid confrontation, and I always feel better once I’ve clarified with someone what is, or isn’t, going on and how to come back to a good place. It doesn’t happen with every single friendship, sometimes a friendship has run its course, reached an end and that, too, is ok, but the effort still needs to be made.
If ever you want to end a friendship, as in all relationships, it is crucial to tell the other person. For one, it shows good manners and two, it brings closure to the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you were friends for three months, six months, a year, or if you’ve been friends for 30 years, have some fucking decency in your dealings with others, lest you gain a reputation for the way you handle your personal relationships. Especially with other women. I can assure you that women talk. If you’ve been a bitch to a woman and later become friends with someone she knows really well, she won’t hesitate to tell that friend exactly what your deal is. I’ve had more than one or two of my close friends warn me about other women, and they were always right. Thankfully, I wasn’t fully invested into the new people, so it wasn’t a big deal or the end of the world.
I always encourage people to communicate with me. If you don’t like something I’ve said, come to me and Spit.It.Out. Just be honest. You’re not sure what I meant by something? FUCKING ASK. Things like that frustrate me. I don’t like wasting my time with anyone, nor do I like it when people attach my name to bullshit stories that are fictional beyond words, and delusional by half.
If you have an issue with me, say it to my face. Be direct. Don’t run and hide like a toddler, and don’t tell lies. I may not be perfect, I’m certainly not winning any awards for warmth, fuzziness, or coddling, but at least I know what respect, loyalty, and real friendship is all about. Once I lose respect for you, you do not exist. If you close the door, I will put Wolverine’s adamantium claws on my end of the door so that if you ever try re-opening it, you get to hang on your own sword, and your own mistakes. That’s how it works. If you want to be someone’s friend, have honor and dignity. Unless you’re incredibly self-absorbed and shallow. I assure you, NO ONE wants a false friend.
Choosing to be a part of someone’s life as their friend is something so many take for granted. Extending the hand of friendship, to me, is a big deal. If you bite that hand, be prepared for what comes next. People often underestimate my nice factor, which I can tell you from experience, is limited. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want love and acceptance, be loving and accepting. If you want or need a certain thing in a friendship, as in any relationship, it is perfectly ok to ask for it. If you’re going through a rough time and you feel like you need a little extra emotional support, say so. Don’t expect everyone to be a mind reader, because the simple fact of the matter is, there’s no such thing as mind readers.
If friends or family treat you like shit and you always allow them to return to your life, you are allowing the behavior and accepting it. In fact, you’re encouraging the cycle to continue. Over time, you lose sight of what it’s like to be treated the right way. In the grand scheme, your acceptance of such negativity allows the chains to wrap around you. This extends to all relationships in ones’ life. Allowing bad behavior, accepting it, and never saying anything in response is encouraging it. If I, as your friend, have encouraged you to put your foot down and you ignore me, I lack sympathy when it continues to happen to you. Not because I’m a cruel person, but because you have been repeatedly given sound advice. I do not mince words and I do not suffer fools gladly. I mean what I say, unless I’m pissed, in which case I will probably say nothing until I cool off. If I am wrong and I know I am wrong, I will always apologize.
This was not written for any particular reason, so do not presume it is directed at you, the reader, in any way, shape, or form, except maybe in an advisory capacity. I’ve had this on my mind for a while and felt it cathartic to put it into action.
We have three different types of friends throughout the course of our lives, and in some instances, for many, many lives, until we learn our lessons and get it right. The different types of friends are “those for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. If you’re going to be the type of friend to me that I am to you, then you’re ride or die, and you are in my life for a reason and a lifetime. I will always be loyal and devoted to you. However, if you’re only sticking around long enough to use me, please, fuck off now, and take your insane monkeys with you.
If one person is a flake, don’t take it personally. If one person is over-sensitive and cannot handle the truth, then that person needs to work on themselves and letting them fly is the best thing to do when they refuse to listen. Not every friendship is forever, but maybe that’s because the ones that are, are so much more valuable, and are built on a solid foundation, as opposed to being built on one person’s immediate interests.
In closing, I am incredibly GRATEFUL for the lovely, talented, graceful, elegant, mature, beautiful on the inside and outside, kind, generous, hilarious, devoted, loyal friends in my life. I can count them on two hands, but quality is far superior to quantity. Some have been a part of my life for a short period of time, but are no less special to me. Many have been with me for 18-25 years and, despite our imperfections and character flaws, despite agreeing to disagree, we love each other, we care about each other so very much, and we’d do anything for each other. A friend recently told me that I have been there for her through EVERYTHING, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and she thanks God for me. Another told me how people are always using her, but that I am the bright spot in her life. In friendship, things should be positive. If they aren’t, detox yourself from the poison. You’ll find a lot of clarity there.
copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 