Honesty
Booked
I have to admit, I’m slightly impressed with myself at the moment. I’m double-booked with two sizeable manuscripts. There are bonuses to these two jobs, one of which is repeat business. Nothing quite says “You’re really good at what you do.”, than someone wanting to hire you on a repeat basis so that they never have to hunt around for someone new each time. Finding an editor that you trust, that pushes you, that is fair, but direct, is rare. I feel blessed at the moment, and I hope that feeling continues to hold true and flourish.
Today is my best friend Marion’s birthday. It’s a BIG birthday, so I am sending an epic amount of love to her. I wish she was here so we could talk, laugh, eat something fabulous, and share a bottle of wine. Actually, we’d need two. 😉
Marion sent me the most beautiful card today. I damn near cried. With nearly 20 years of friendship, through all the good and bad, she has remained the truest of any friend and I think that is to be commended.
When you’re going through shitty times, that is precisely when you learn who your true friends are. I missed an e-mail very early this morning from a friend because I was distracted before going to bed, but when I woke up this morning and saw it, it just plain made my day. Some people are immense rays of light. They bring goodness, kindness, sweetness, and serenity wherever they go. Others, not so much. Or at the very least, they make it incredibly difficult to focus on their positive qualities.
I find myself debating a friendship at the moment, and it makes me sad. On one hand, I know I was never anything short of an amazing friend. On the flipside, I wonder where some people come from that they twist their own personal issues into something so incredibly dramatic, that it gives you a stomach ache. I have to really ask myself how much I value this particular friend and friendship. Under normal circumstances, I’d truly just say “Go fuck yourself!” But when I value someone, I put much more effort forward. Some people are deserving of that effort, and others eventually prove that they are not. I find it sad. I’m a girl’s girl to the core. It is not beneath me to fully support my friends, to tell them I’m proud of them, and be there for them no matter what. Good, bad, happy, sad. I realize not everyone in life feels the same way. When women behave like that, it makes me lose respect for them. Sad, but true. Not everyone’s true colors are what they originally profess to be. 😦
Some days, the good outweighs the bad. I pray we all have more days like that.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
It Is Impossible…
“It is impossible to discourage the real writers – they don’t give a damn what you say, they’re going to write.” -Sinclair Lewis
Conditions

Conditions
There is a moment when you realize that the relationship you are/were in has more conditions placed on it than you ever realized. This can easily apply to friendships as well.
If you abandon, do not expect my loyalty.
If you disrespect, do not expect my respect.
If you are genuine, don’t turn on falseness when it suits you.
If you care, then care all the time, not as a matter of convenience.
If you’re truly concerned, then do something. Don’t ask what can be done, listen and actually help.
Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
You never know when the walls you place up against someone else might be what destroys them. It’s not healthy or wise to treat someone as lesser than you simply because they are different.

The flip side is this:
No matter what I may be going through, I will still be present for you.
If you ask, then expect honesty.
If you show me you don’t care, don’t expect me to be blind to that.
If you abandon, do not expect to be forgiven.
If you get ugly with me, please don’t expect me to eat that politely with a knife and fork.
If you isolate me, I will make certain that you know you no longer exist in my eyes.

People ask for different things in relationships and friendships, but often times when they get what they ask for, they run and hide. It’s hard for me to take someone seriously when I see that kind of behavior.
Sometimes a person’s behavior actually has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. However, lack of communication is usually what starts fights, hostility, anger, and resentment.
Communicate, appreciate, validate, and don’t disrespect the people in your life. If your needs change, SPEAK UP. No one is a mind reader. There are no results in sitting around bitching, whining, and complaining about something. There ARE results in communicating and letting the other person know precisely what is going on.
If you’re going to dissolve any type of relationship, have the balls to do it to a person’s face. Don’t do it via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or text message. That’s low, and classless. Treat people the way you want to be treated. And if you cheated, do everyone involved a favor and don’t make that shit public. Isn’t it bad enough you’re a piece of shit, does the world really need to know about it too?!
I swear, I was born on the wrong planet!
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Be Honest

Be Honest
Many of us use specific ringtones to let us know precisely who is calling. A standardized boring ringtone might mean we have no idea who the caller is, and thus, we do not answer the phone. Special songs have special meanings. We don’t even have to look to see who is calling, we already know.
Oftentimes I am out running errands and a person’s ringtone will make me laugh out loud, or want to run and hide because it’s appalling to the ears. My phone very rarely rings, but when it does, my ringtones stop people in their tracks. What can I say? I have an extremely warped sense of humor.
My favorites? I have a special one I use for my brother, which is a head turner. It’s an iconic song, so unless one has been living in a cave for the last 50 years, they’ve heard it at least once.
I have special ones for close friends and family. The songs make me smile, because they’re personal and related to private things I share with each person. The ringtone I use for people I don’t particularly care for is from The Wizard Of Oz. It truly brings me back to the very first time I ever saw the movie and the Wicked Witch appeared on-screen. It has a total flying monkeys effect on me. Whenever I hear it, it makes me laugh.
Now I am not the person that presses “Ignore” or “Decline” when a call comes in. It’s incredibly rude when the phone rings once and you’re immediately sent to voice mail. If someone ever does that to you, know that they’re doing it on purpose, especially if they don’t call you back within an hour and apologize. If my phone is off, you automatically get sent to voice mail, but if it’s on, it rings a good 4-6 times before one is rolled over to voice mail. It’s a few extra seconds of listening to a song, but in the end, you’re not the douche-bag that just hit “Ignore” or “Decline”.
There’s someone in my life that ALWAYS hits “Ignore” on a good 70% of my calls. The first time he did it, I called his flat little ass out on it and told him “Do you KNOW what a douche move that is? Just let it go to voice mail or answer for two seconds and tell me you’ll call me back, but don’t EVER hit IGNORE, or I’ll gladly do it to you when you call me in an emergency.” It’s such a shit move, it makes me want to knock someone’s teeth out.
I don’t take a lot of calls in public. I’m usually around a lot of other people and because a lot of my conversations are A) Super private, B) Hilarious beyond measure, or C) About as interesting as watching paint dry, so I try to keep public phone use to a minimum. I don’t ever want to be the woman sitting in the pedicure chair discussing a friend’s STD in front of an entire spa or salon full of people who are trying to relax. That has never happened, and even if it did, I’m not at liberty to disclose that information. I am not the loud woman in public talking on the phone as if she’s behind closed doors. No matter where I go, there is always at least one person doing this, be they male or female. It drives me insane.
Men, you’ve all grocery shopped on your own before at least once in your lives, right? Whomever you are in a relationship with gave you a list and sent you off with specific details, yes? Then please tell me why every single man I see shopping on his own is on the phone asking his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband about things like this: “It’s not on the list, but do we want blueberries?” Note that “we” was used. “Hi, I just thought I’d call to see if you want tomatoes.” Dude, seriously? If they don’t, you won’t get in trouble for buying them, unless they’re deathly allergic and you’re being an idiot. “Hey honey, do we need milk? Yes, I’m at Walmart. No, I am not standing in front of it yet. Hold on, let me walk over there.” Mind you, he was at the front door.
I can’t help but overhear these people because they’re either really loud and/or right in my face, often taking up space where I need to reach for an item. They will just stand there like I have on my Invisibility Cloak and I’m not actually reaching for tomato paste while they’re right there, over six feet tall, and can grab it for me while wasting time on the phone. It is truly sad when short people shop by themselves and need to flag down much taller people to be able to reach the stupidest items that are somehow placed somewhere directly between clouds and Heaven.
Honestly, I would rather send someone a discreet text about fucking tomatoes as opposed to having an actual full-blown tomato conversation in an aisle full of people. Perhaps it’s a female thing, but we know you’re going to eat whatever we bring home and be grateful you were fed at all. And by God, if I want blueberries, I’ll fucking buy them without asking for your permission!
Be honest, what drives you insane about others when you’re running errands and just trying to get shit done with the time you have?

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
P.S. If you need laughs this weekend, please visit my pal Jodi’s blog. She’s HILARIOUS and such a vibrant person. 🙂
How Vain It Is…
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” ―Henry David Thoreau
Writing Means…
Writing Means
Writing truly means different things to different people. As I approach my 28th year as a writer, which feels like “just yesterday”, I find myself very introspective about the beginning, middle, and present day.
It’s hard to believe I was ever this quiet, small, shy, introverted child that wasn’t highly talkative. I only spoke about things I understood to the fullest capacity, and in my ways, I’m still like that. I won’t talk about something unless I’m highly knowledgeable about it. However, I think shy is probably the last word anyone would attach to my name now.
Writing is not just a comfortable form of communication for me; it’s my voice.
Over the years, people have asked me not to be myself, not to utilize my gifts, and to suppress who I am. They would tell me how much they loved me, but their love came with all sorts of chains. No one that truly loves you tells you not to be who you are. No one that truly cares about you will walk away from you simply because you’re honest.
Honesty and realness do tend to make some people uncomfortable. It took me a long time to realize that those aren’t my issues, and I don’t have to carry them with me. I accept everyone on a case-by-case basis. If you’re good to me, I am going to be good in kind. If you lie to me, stab me in the back, or harm me or anyone I value, you might as well just call the morgue in advance because eventually, I will react.
I’ve learned over the years to walk away from people who do not help me grow. I do not mean that in a “I use people” capacity, quite the opposite. I believe in growth and I believe that we can empower each other in our individual life journeys. I believe that if you help people, you will be helped in your own times of crisis.
Sometimes a person is pure poison to you. Everything about them is cruel, vindictive, malicious. Their intentions are cast in something that can physically make you ill.
An old friend once said “My step-father’s aura is black, an evil shade of black.” As a person who has been able to see auras on and off her entire life, I totally understood what she meant by that. It was all of his anger, hatred, self-loathing, bitterness, etc., and she could physically see it coming off of him. Auras are often about perception. For instance, the purest auras I see are from children and animals. They are always a silvery shade to me, or a platinum radiance. To me, that always represents innocence. I don’t see it with every child or animal, but I do see it often enough that it rarely comes as a shock. Moreover, these are the same children that notice me and my aura. It makes them smile and point at me, giggling happily. I have no idea what it looks like to them, but whatever it is, it has always been very positive. Some animals very clearly see it too, because they look at me differently and treat me differently than their brethren.
In life, we all have specific affinities for very specific things. I was born with a lot of my gifts, things I’ve never discussed beyond like-minded individuals, and other gifts surfaced with age. Some people are “late bloomers”, but eventually almost all of us find something we excel at in ways others do not.
I work in a position where I have the power to tell people “This is not your forte.”, but in 20 years, I’ve never said it to someone. I’ve never felt it was my job to tell a person what they can and cannot accomplish. No matter how much professional power you may possess, I don’t think it gives you the right to shatter someone’s dreams. I’m direct, I am honest, but I am fair. I’d rather tell someone to go back to the drawing board than crush them altogether.
Not everyone has natural ability, but that can often be made up for with sheer determination and hard work. Rome was not built in a day and not everyone is born with supreme talent in any specific field. Much like our looks, it’s all a quirk of nature. Other things I have to perceive as blessings. Sometimes our gifts help us emerge from troubled situations, horrible upbringings, pain we never think we’ll be able to cope with.
No one’s life is perfect. It doesn’t matter how it is drawn for you to see, the grass is not always greener. I usually say “The picture in the window is not the truth.”, and I believe that. I know far too many people who came from picture perfect families to the outside world, but behind closed doors, were living in a realm of hell that is incomprehensible.
Many people come to me and say “Oh, I love to write.” or “I’m a writer too.” While I won’t denounce their claims, I can only speak for myself. I write because it’s my place in this world to do so. I write because it’s more to me than a source of income. I write because my ability with the written and spoken word is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given, and to ignore those gifts would be a travesty.
There were many years where I only wrote when I had to. I didn’t want to “just be a writer”. I still don’t. I want to be the creative being I am supposed to be, always expanding my horizons. Never settling for opinions based on hot air.
The reason this is a writer’s platform and not a “blog” is based solely on the fact that I am a writer. A person can call it whatever they like, but I will never refer to it as “my blog”, because that’s not what it is. I have a blog and I am unhappy there, which is why this platform is so important to me and why I devote more time to it. It’s not just about building an audience for something new, it’s about attracting the right kinds of people to my work, people who will remain interested in the things I write, my published work, and the things I have to say. Call it a base-line, if you will, but for me, it’s a platform of reality.
Writing means I get to do that, I get to be myself here, without judgment. I get to speak my mind and if someone doesn’t like that, there is always an UN-FOLLOW button available to them.
In life, many things come and go, but talent? Talent stays with you, forevermore.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Am I Wearing A Sign?
I am thisclose (that is not a typo) to killing one of my clients. If you feel like someone is professionally giving you the runaround, it’s probably because they are. Though I suspect, some people are truly stupider than one can give them credit for.
There aren’t enough “LOLs” in the world to mask the utter stupidity I am dealing with. Making a HUGE mistake and then sending me a message about your mistake isn’t cute, unless we’re friends. It’s even less cute when that mistake personally affects me.
And then, I get the manuscript. Nearly 70,000 words that, after two pages, made me want to hang myself. I swear to God, I need to eat, calm the hell down, and look at it in a day or two because there is NO WAY I am going to be professional in this moment. I wish I had a bottle of wine on hand to smack over my own head…after drinking it, of course. I’m not much of a drinker, but man, my clients are going to turn me into a full-blown alcoholic. Should you ever see me wandering the streets aimlessly, kindly shoot me and put me out of my misery.
Oh, and the snow was no big deal. It looks like it totalled out around 5 inches or so, if that. Sadly, my poor Aunt got saddled with 2 1/2 feet of snow. I hope she doesn’t have to see a single snowflake until next winter. Praying for an early Spring, which is saying a lot with my allergies.
Do Not Confuse…
I think it’s really important to listen to others and hear them, even if the subject matter makes you uncomfortable. I don’t like to denounce someone’s feelings, even if I disagree with their perspective. People say that words aren’t harmful, but they can be and it’s important to acknowledge that even the simplest way of saying things, at times, can make a person question who they are, or that it can do severe damage.
Sometimes, I think people say things to challenge me. It’s truly not meant to be harmful, but if I’m already bleeding on the ground, I probably don’t need another kick.
I’m so far from perfect, it’s not even funny, but I will be apologizing to a few people this week to be certain that they grasp the true meaning and don’t take simplicity the wrong way.
Above all, always be yourself.








