Wondering When It Gets Better

It’s hard to believe tomorrow is February, but it’s harder still to believe how sick I am. This virus is no joke. A few days and I’ll feel better? Not so much. Third bottle of cough medicine. Insomnia and parasomnia. The overall feeling this will not go away because it was a misdiagnosis on top of multiple misdiagnoses. I hardly know what day it is, and sometimes, I don’t know who I am. Quite frankly, none of this gives me “virus” vibes. Yes, I may need to see another doctor. What kind of doctor? Therein lies the ultimate question. <Sigh>

Last week, things got really scary when, within a few hours of feeling like I was freezing to death, my temperature had spiked to over 102 degrees. I had checked three times, and each time my fever increased, but I was way too sick to rationalize with myself. Moving was difficult. I was really weak. I couldn’t keep down water. I was sick in all caps, and my throat was raw. In total, it took about six hours for me to be able to swallow four Tylenol. I was deathly ill and so slow; and I have repeatedly tested negative for Covid, so I was pretty sure this was more of the same (With a follow-up negative for Covid.). I rescheduled an important appointment that morning because keeping my head up was too painful, and quite frankly, too much work. I then proceeded to sleep for almost seventeen hours straight. That is definitely not normal for me.

One benefit of being sick is having Cat and Kitten be sweet, little caretakers. Kitten only leaves my side for meals and short breaks. I go to sleep and she’s by my side. I wake up, and she’s watching me. I go back to sleep, and she’s snuggled up close. Occasionally, Cat is also with me. Either by herself, or within 1-2 feet of Kitten. Even though the new vet stupidly referred to them as “old lady cats” (I suggested they bite her.), it is more appropriate to say they are adult cats. Cat turned nine this past Fall, and Kitten turned eight. Collectively, they still have far more energy than I do. There’s something so pure and genuine about the affection when I reach over and pet Cat’s bunny soft fur. She almost doesn’t feel real, but she is, and the second I do anything she doesn’t like, she will run off. I require written permission for affection, which means, no touching. Kitten wants all the affection, all the head scratches, all the chin scratches, everything. She doesn’t hold grudges or take anything personally for too long. They truly have very unique, individual personalities.

If only this virus would move along as quickly as Cat when I so much as move a muscle. Being sick has zero perks. In a full months I have gone to Urgent Care, the pharmacy, grabbed groceries and some cat supplies. I got sicker after the grocery run, and that was with two masks on! My life has legitimately been sleep, sleep, and more sleep. It’s important to listen to my body. None of this rest has seemed to help, and neither have all the vitamins and healthy choices I’ve made, either.

Yesterday was my first step back into “real life”, and I ended up in bed before six o’clock, exhausted beyond words. I felt overwhelmingly ill. I still don’t feel great. Never a worse time for Amazon to lose not one, but TWO tissue deliveries when I need them so badly. UGH! “We promise you’ll have these on Monday.” That was on Friday, so I thought, “Okay.” No delivery. We promise you’ll have them by February 1st. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU LOSING 18 BOXES OF TISSUES?! How does it leave a facility and disappear? Why can’t you lose the orders I try to cancel?! Yeah, I have questions. Who wouldn’t?!

Despite the fact that Covid restrictions are going to be lifted this Spring, I still don’t feel well enough for certain things. February is a short month and I am concerned about how to navigate it in a healthful way. The same is true for March and April. It seems far away, but one look at my phone calendar says otherwise.

Ultimately, I had to make the decision that 2023 would not be the year where I would be able to post daily. This hasn’t been true in the past, even at my worst, but it must be true this year. I have to heal, focus, and work on projects I am passionate about. I will share things as they come up, but I’m going to do what I feel is right. I hope you’ll hang in for the ride.

I’ll be back with an update when I am feeling better. Wishing you all the best. Also, Happy Lunar New Year!

copyright © 2023 by Lisa Marino-Molchanova & Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Poison In Lethal Doses®™ is a registered trademark.

New Moon In Aquarius & Lunar New Year!


Tonight is the New Moon in the constellation of Aquarius. We are right at the edge of Spring. Earths energy is getting ready to transform. We move between worlds, we transition between chapters. Aquarius, the water bearer brings forth the cleansing, fresh winds of change ahead.

We have the power to birth something at this New Moon, be it a new direction in our lives, a creative project, a new career path, or even a new awareness of who we are. This powerful New Moon can initiate many things and it’s up to us to set our intentions and choose the direction we want to head into. New Moons are like seeds, our intentions need to be planted and fertilized and tended with care in order for them to grow, blossom, and bloom.

Aquarius is a very creative sign. This is a time to let your mind wander into fantasy, open yourself up to your surroundings and let yourself dream. Doing something artistic now can be a big release for you whether this be drawing, writing, poetry, crafts, or even just decorating your home. Give your life a little color and flare, try something new, do something a little different with your hair or makeup, be a bit bolder in the way you dress.

This New Moon asks you to look at things in a different way, to see the potential in everything, even the small, everyday things, to see how things can be improved upon with a little artistic flare. This New Moon offers you the chance to grow, to change, to express your own personal power with style and grace.

The Aquarius New Moon brings the confrontation of the old with the new, it is revolutionary and edgy. A Moon like this is an innovator, the breaker of molds and can be a major catalyst for change. A restless, experimental, inventive mind will bring success. This is a time during which we should solve problems that require thinking “outside of the box”; look to the future with a brand new, positive, and hopeful vision. Let your individuality flourish, walk your own path, this is not the time to follow the crowd this is a time do what you need to in order to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually. Aquarius reminds you to follow the beat of your own drum. Be unique. Be original. Be who you really are.

The message of this New Moon is to find balance. Knowing when to push and when to rest. Take a step back and look at everything more clearly. Now is the time to start clearing out junk, both in our homes and work, as well as in our emotional lives. Out with the old and let in the new is this New Moon’s mantra. Expel negativity and try to let go of any bad thoughts and feelings by looking at how to improve any situations rather than just complain about them. The Aquarius New Moon holds magical healing power. We are in a profound cleansing and clearing cycle. Allow the deep roar emotions emerging from the unconscious to flow and be healed.

Have a blessed New Moon. May the Goddess watch over you.


Written credit goes to Wicca Teachings

Photo credit: Various

Edited by Lisa Marino