No One Wants To Suffer

“No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to live in fear. No one wants to lose everything. No one wants their heart ripped to shreds. No one want to be sick. And, no one wants to die. But these things happen in life. So the least we can do is be there for others, as we would like others to be there for us.” —Bryant McGill

All too fitting after the last few months. 😦

Life’s Battles & Celebrations

Last year, the day after my birthday, my brother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure that required a quadruple bypass. It was an extremely scary time in which I functioned on G-d only knows what, and forced myself to remain strong through prayer and talking to people who did their best to emotionally support me through that horrible time.

Today, I celebrate my brother’s birthday. In the past year, through horrific battles that life has challenged us with, we have become a more united brother & sister. I’m proud of that. The ugliness and evil of others cannot destroy what he & I have built. It’s a horrible situation, but through bad, there is also good.

In the past year my brother has lived through three life-threatening operations and a horrific maze of challenges that have been cruel, harsh, evil, and vicious. I pray that this year is better to him; that promises made are promises kept, and that a year from now, we can laugh instead of cry.

As so many of us know, life itself can be a harsh task master. If you have the power to make someone’s life better, greater, happier, more secure, etc., even if only for a short period of time, then you should be selfless and act, not say one thing and do another. Life is SO short and none of us want to live with regrets. My father (May He Rest In Peace) spent most of his life not speaking to his brother. This would go on for five years, ten years, etc., until eventually my Uncle was 71 and dying from cancer. Instead of calling my father, I was the one to receive the call that my Uncle had cancer and didn’t have much longer to live. I had to break the news to my father and plan a day for the entire family to be together. They bonded in those last moments as though they’d never bonded before, and I know it gave them both a sense of peace. My Uncle passed away, and nearly two years later my father passed, from the exact same disease.

I’d slay dragons and demons to make sure my brother remains alive and in tact. I may very well have to do that; but today I thank all that is Holy that he is alive, that he has survived, and ultimately, that he is MY brother.

I know things are bad at the moment, M, but I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS with you.



“They tried to break us, but that didn’t work. And they tried to destroy us, but that didn’t work. They sent every form of evil our way, and still we stood tall. For that is the bond of this blood, once and for all.”  

copyright © 2016 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.


Rough Waters

My brother was rushed into emergency surgery Saturday. I spent most of the day stressed out, upset, trying to reach him. Most of my text messages sounded frantic, but that’s precisely how I felt.

I already knew he was in the hospital, but I’m used to hearing from him semi-regularly, so when I go nearly 24 hours without contact, I do start to worry. A lot. Even when I’m mad at him, I still keep him apprised of things, and vice versa.

This past month I’ve learned a lot about the people in my life. I never knew my brother was “ride or die” for me until all this horrible shit happened where it affected us both as a family unit. People are placing limitations on something you give freely; love. That is the exact opposite of who I am and how I was raised to be. I refuse to allow other people’s interpretations of life, love, etc., change the core of who I am. All I can do is pray for them, because they seemingly need more help and healing than I do. 😦

My brother has endured a quadruple bypass, of which he’s still not fully recovered. He has been in and out of the hospital for months due to various complications and illness. The surgery on his wrist was a matter of life and death, and I am incredibly grateful to the OR nurse he met Friday evening who told him something wasn’t right with his wrist and that he needed to get to the ER pronto. She even recommended the hospital where she works, and that’s exactly where he went. Without question, her intervention saved his life because he thought it was something else and was simply going to take some Aleve for the pain and swelling. He would be dead if not for her speaking up in a public place and me yelling at him when he sent me photos of how bad it looked. I told him it looked really bad and that he needed to go the ER immediately. Who does he see up in entering the OR the following day? The very same nurse. She looked at him, trying to place his face, and finally said “Didn’t I see you a few hours ago?” There are Earth Angels out there and I am grateful to anyone who is looking out for my brother in such a manner.

Surgery #2 is tomorrow, with potential for a 3rd or even 4th operation as the week progresses. The surgeon told him, point-blank, that if he’d waited another day, he would have lost half of his arm to infection. Just hearing that this evening made me sick to my stomach. He’s attacking the infection to the best of his ability because he doesn’t want my brother to lose his hand and wrist.

I thank the hospital in Bucks County, PA that is taking such good care of him. I’m far more freaked out about this surgery than I was the heart surgery, because with his heart, they kept telling me he was young and his chances of survival were high. But with a superbug? It’s terrifying to hear “We don’t know how you got this or where it came from. All we can do is attack it with everything we’ve got, be proactive, and hope & pray for the best.”

So if you’re sitting and thinking about how rough your week is about to be, please keep my brother in your prayers. I’ve lost so much already. I cannot afford to lose my brother too.

copyright © 2016 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.