My life is one repetitive burnout after another, and I am deeply concerned.
I’d love to say I’m up early and writing. The truth is, I was woken from a migraine by the smell of brewing coffee. At 12:30 a.m. Strictly speaking, the smell of coffee is really pleasant to me. I breathe deeply, it evokes memories, but when I’m sick, there is a very long list of smells that bother me. Coffee is sometimes one of them.
Apparently it wasn’t just bothering me, because fuzzy people came to alert me to the fact that something was going on in the kitchen that should not have been happening. They’re trying to curry favor with me because I’ve had to yell at their antics over the past two days. Is it wrong not to want something belonging to your Grandmother NOT to be eaten by an animal clearly lacking common sense? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
I’m burned out. I’ve come down with something, and I just plain don’t feel right. The thought of doing a read-through or an edit right now has about as much appeal to me as maggots. Yes, that’s how bad I feel.
If I logged in to my frequent flyer miles right now, I’d find that I have enough miles acquired over the past 14 years to get me the hell out of here for a good three months. That’s as long as you can be away on certain visas. If I didn’t have responsibilities, my ass would be packed in a few hours and off I’d be. I’m that worn out, I need a break.
Where would I go? I have some ideas, but the truth is, there aren’t a lot of people that would appreciate me showing up at the last minute. Therein lies the problem.
Alas, I shall take the next 2-3 days and “vacation inside my head”. Next weekend is kind of a big deal for me, but I’m already upset, so I’m downplaying it quite a bit. One person’s milestone is another person’s way of harming that person and turning something happy into something negative. I don’t need that.
All I can do in this very moment is thank my friends for being so incredibly kind, caring, loving, and supportive. One friend in particular basically yelled at me this past week, telling me to get over myself, and it really is helping me learn things about myself, so thank you my dear. What you said holds water, and I appreciate it. It’s nice to know someone has my back, as opposed to standing behind me with a knife, poised to strike at a moment’s notice. In life, it’s absolutely crucial to know who the right friends are. I am blessed.
Enjoy your weekend everyone. Take stock of your blessings and realize how lucky you are.
copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.