This week, it appears to be my greatest listener and fan.
Writing
Words Can Be…
“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
―Aldous Huxley
Writing Means…
Writing Means
Writing truly means different things to different people. As I approach my 28th year as a writer, which feels like “just yesterday”, I find myself very introspective about the beginning, middle, and present day.
It’s hard to believe I was ever this quiet, small, shy, introverted child that wasn’t highly talkative. I only spoke about things I understood to the fullest capacity, and in my ways, I’m still like that. I won’t talk about something unless I’m highly knowledgeable about it. However, I think shy is probably the last word anyone would attach to my name now.
Writing is not just a comfortable form of communication for me; it’s my voice.
Over the years, people have asked me not to be myself, not to utilize my gifts, and to suppress who I am. They would tell me how much they loved me, but their love came with all sorts of chains. No one that truly loves you tells you not to be who you are. No one that truly cares about you will walk away from you simply because you’re honest.
Honesty and realness do tend to make some people uncomfortable. It took me a long time to realize that those aren’t my issues, and I don’t have to carry them with me. I accept everyone on a case-by-case basis. If you’re good to me, I am going to be good in kind. If you lie to me, stab me in the back, or harm me or anyone I value, you might as well just call the morgue in advance because eventually, I will react.
I’ve learned over the years to walk away from people who do not help me grow. I do not mean that in a “I use people” capacity, quite the opposite. I believe in growth and I believe that we can empower each other in our individual life journeys. I believe that if you help people, you will be helped in your own times of crisis.
Sometimes a person is pure poison to you. Everything about them is cruel, vindictive, malicious. Their intentions are cast in something that can physically make you ill.
An old friend once said “My step-father’s aura is black, an evil shade of black.” As a person who has been able to see auras on and off her entire life, I totally understood what she meant by that. It was all of his anger, hatred, self-loathing, bitterness, etc., and she could physically see it coming off of him. Auras are often about perception. For instance, the purest auras I see are from children and animals. They are always a silvery shade to me, or a platinum radiance. To me, that always represents innocence. I don’t see it with every child or animal, but I do see it often enough that it rarely comes as a shock. Moreover, these are the same children that notice me and my aura. It makes them smile and point at me, giggling happily. I have no idea what it looks like to them, but whatever it is, it has always been very positive. Some animals very clearly see it too, because they look at me differently and treat me differently than their brethren.
In life, we all have specific affinities for very specific things. I was born with a lot of my gifts, things I’ve never discussed beyond like-minded individuals, and other gifts surfaced with age. Some people are “late bloomers”, but eventually almost all of us find something we excel at in ways others do not.
I work in a position where I have the power to tell people “This is not your forte.”, but in 20 years, I’ve never said it to someone. I’ve never felt it was my job to tell a person what they can and cannot accomplish. No matter how much professional power you may possess, I don’t think it gives you the right to shatter someone’s dreams. I’m direct, I am honest, but I am fair. I’d rather tell someone to go back to the drawing board than crush them altogether.
Not everyone has natural ability, but that can often be made up for with sheer determination and hard work. Rome was not built in a day and not everyone is born with supreme talent in any specific field. Much like our looks, it’s all a quirk of nature. Other things I have to perceive as blessings. Sometimes our gifts help us emerge from troubled situations, horrible upbringings, pain we never think we’ll be able to cope with.
No one’s life is perfect. It doesn’t matter how it is drawn for you to see, the grass is not always greener. I usually say “The picture in the window is not the truth.”, and I believe that. I know far too many people who came from picture perfect families to the outside world, but behind closed doors, were living in a realm of hell that is incomprehensible.
Many people come to me and say “Oh, I love to write.” or “I’m a writer too.” While I won’t denounce their claims, I can only speak for myself. I write because it’s my place in this world to do so. I write because it’s more to me than a source of income. I write because my ability with the written and spoken word is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given, and to ignore those gifts would be a travesty.
There were many years where I only wrote when I had to. I didn’t want to “just be a writer”. I still don’t. I want to be the creative being I am supposed to be, always expanding my horizons. Never settling for opinions based on hot air.
The reason this is a writer’s platform and not a “blog” is based solely on the fact that I am a writer. A person can call it whatever they like, but I will never refer to it as “my blog”, because that’s not what it is. I have a blog and I am unhappy there, which is why this platform is so important to me and why I devote more time to it. It’s not just about building an audience for something new, it’s about attracting the right kinds of people to my work, people who will remain interested in the things I write, my published work, and the things I have to say. Call it a base-line, if you will, but for me, it’s a platform of reality.
Writing means I get to do that, I get to be myself here, without judgment. I get to speak my mind and if someone doesn’t like that, there is always an UN-FOLLOW button available to them.
In life, many things come and go, but talent? Talent stays with you, forevermore.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Imagination Is Like A…
The Four Letter Word Of Winter
S-N-O-W.
The original forecast was for “a little snow” this coming Wednesday. However, yesterday afternoon this somehow changed and now up to two feet is supposed to take a dump on my local area. I’m thrilled in all sorts of ways. <rolls eyes>
This is the last thing I want to be dealing with, but I’ve already put one person on snowblowing detail (Men have to earn their keep around here. LOL.) and out of the kindness of my heart, I also gave him a shovel. I’ll make him hot beverages as needed.
So, as the snow begins to stick North of Philadelphia, I’m taking my migraine and I to bed. I’ve lost my ability to get worked up over things outside my realm of control.
Let it snow.
Everyone in the path of this storm, stay off the roads once dangerous and stay warm. Be safe.
If you don’t hear from me for a few days, I decided to lay out in the snow and see how quickly it would be before someone noticed I was missing or found me.
Break, Not Broken
Break, Not Broken
I came into this world intolerant of fake people, lies, and bullshit. This has only become more pronounced as I’ve gotten older.
There are actual photos of me as a baby, newly home from the hospital, and the expression on my face is priceless. I know exactly what I was thinking in every single photo because the core of who I am has not changed. If I didn’t like the person holding me, it showed. If I thought someone was false, it showed. To this day, you can see a lot of what I’m thinking on my face, unless I’m using what is often called my “FBI face”. It’s an incredibly blank “I really don’t give a shit” face. It can come across bitchy, but it’s really me, completely uninterested. Unfortunately, I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately.
My thought process of late is blank. I’m incapable of listening to bullshit or tolerating much of anything. In fact, my tolerance level is zilch, so comment with caution.
Paying attention to anything for more than a few minutes at a time is actually intolerable. I catch myself spacing out when people talk to me. The only things I can listen to are 1) A baby’s cries and 2) A cat’s cries. In my maternal make-up, these sounds are the ONLY sounds that turn me into a fearless, it-doesn’t-matter-that-I-got-no-sleep-what’s-wrong kind of person. Everything else, right now, either makes me sick or makes me want to lock myself in a hole. I call it my “boiling point”. When I reach that level, it’s time to disengage from certain aspects of my life.
Obviously these are not normal patterns for me. I’ve lived a long time and haven’t hidden in a broom closet once, or any closet for that matter. I suspect we ALL want to walk away from life at times, just pick up and go somewhere for a year or so, and not be bothered by the bullshit of daily life. It’s normal and it’s okay to feel that way. And yet, I won’t go because I feel rooted by responsibilities.
Someone said to me last month “Not having a cell phone for a few months can be very freeing.” Amen to that, brother! When a phone rings, unless I already know who it will be, I cringe. It doesn’t matter if it’s my home phone or my cell, I visibly cringe. There are less than five people I will accept calls from, and only one person whose texts I look forward to because she constantly makes me laugh or encourages me, and I respect the supportive relationship I have with her (She knows who she is because we text a LOT.). Everything else in my life feels bleak. It feels like somewhere along the way, everything became deeply shaded in grey, and there is very little color.
I know what rock bottom feels like. This is similar, but it is emotionally different. As we get older, our emotions for certain things change and that is to be expected. Our reactions are no longer the reactions of a teenager or someone younger, but as adults, every person reacts differently.
I am often told I “think too much”, or I’m “too intense”, “too passionate”, etc. If you’re not passionate about something or someone, then what’s the point of living? If you don’t have passion, you cannot be intense about anything. If you don’t utilize the brain you are given by thinking and learning, then what’s the point of having one? Eventually, it all sounds less like “advice” and more like judgment, and lets face it, that’s exactly what it is.
Naturally people would prefer it if I were any number of things: Nicer, kinder, quieter, less vocal, less apt to open my mouth and let someone have it, etc. In the grand scheme, it makes me feel like the people in my life want me to be some soft, pathetic, whiny version of myself that I have NEVER been. I can’t tell you how many times a week someone says “Be nice.” or “That was mean.” I was honest, but apparently honesty is now considered “not nice” and “mean”. You’d think I publicly murdered puppies the way some people react to basic, every day language.
Do you want a “Yes person” around you 24/7? I don’t. It’s perfectly okay to disagree with me. Everyone is entitled to their own views and feelings. You don’t have to believe in a single thing that I believe in. You don’t have to like the things I like or watch something because I said it was fantastic. No one needs to blindly follow me. Liking me is not mandatory. In fact, I’d prefer respect over being liked. I lack the ability of making real words seems like they’ve been dipped in sugar. I can be a perfectly polite, nice person, yes, but if I disagree with something, I feel I am entitled to do so. Apparently my personality often makes other people afraid to the point where they feel they have to agree with me. Hearing that makes me nauseous because I know I don’t actually have that kind of power, but if I did, I’d use it for more important things.
Ultimately, I am burned out. Hopefully at some point within the next few months I will know precisely which direction my life is going in and be able to either go away for a while (even just a few weeks would be awesome. Sometimes a change of environment is the best thing for the soul.) or start planning a summer excursion. Anyone that would like to have me around for a while should let me know now. I’ll say anything for a laugh in my quest to be entertaining, I’m relatively low maintenance, and I cook, what more could you want?
P.S. I am begrudgingly working on a Twitter account for this page. In the meantime, you can follow me @LisaMMarino I just wouldn’t expect much right now, I’m still trying to figure it out.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Thank Goddess It’s Friday!
What a horrific week. I am not sorry to move into the weekend, not even with 4-7 inches of snow currently predicted between tonight and tomorrow. There hasn’t been much snow to speak of this winter. Yes, for that I should be grateful, and I am, but I do like a few inches on the ground to sort of make a weekend feel cozy at times. It’s nice to settle in front of a movie or hunker down with a book and a gigantic mug of tea.
I have absolutely no plans for this weekend. Serious rest & relaxation are probably the only things I truly need now.
I am working on a manuscript for a client and I am doing it completely gratis. Yes, I do have my rules about this sort of thing, I’ve spoken about this many times, but there was something about this person that tugged at my heart, and I 100% offered to do it in my spare time. There’s a difference between someone expecting it for nothing or next to nothing, and an entirely different thing when you are offering to help someone.
Everyone deserves to have a great editor work with them, even if they cannot afford to pay for that person’s services. Good deeds are good for the soul, and they’re unselfish. I had some wonderfully supportive educators very early on in my writing career. By helping someone out, I feel as though I am honoring everything they instilled in me. A mitzvah is a mitzvah, I will not be asking for credit as her editor. It feels good to help someone bring their story to life and to others. If I can empower a woman by assisting and/or advising, I will. I might come off a certain way at times, but at the core of who I am, I’m a good person. No one has to tell me that, I see it in the things I willingly do for others without thinking about it.
To everyone that sent me messages of support yesterday and this morning, or simply checked in on me: THANK YOU (You all know who you are. You guys ROCK!). I really appreciate you all having my back like that. I am considering an alternative, that way you all still get a social media page for this platform. If anyone has any legitimate suggestions, could you please pass them along via the comments section? That would be most appreciated. 🙂 I’ve thought about Google+, but quite frankly it confuses me. However, out with the old, in with the new. When I logged in this morning, Google greeted me like a person. There’s a lot to be said for that.
Okay my lovelies, I am off to check on my girls and, because I’m so sleep deprived, catch some rest. Here’s hoping today is a better day than all the other days that came before.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Now Please, GO FUCK YOURSELF
I heard back from Facebook this afternoon.
I apologize to anyone that followed the Poison In Lethal Doses page or that had me as a friend via the site (you still have me as a friend, and you should know how to find me via phone if we’re really close, or e-mail.).
I want everyone here to know that even after confirming my identity, they have made this claim:
- Your account must list your authentic name and birthday. (It IS authentic, as in FUCKING REAL. I think I know when I was born, it's on all my legal documents! Are we going to crack down on all the hate mongers and question their authenticity? How many people have bullied children into SUICIDE? You're seriously worried about ME being REAL? I am astounded. Is Facebook run by modern-day Nazi's?) - Personal accounts must represent individual people only. It's a violation of Facebook policy to use a profile to represent anything other than yourself (ex: celebrities, pets, ideas, objects). (Who the FUCK was I "representing" other than myself?! If you can't tell me the truth about what I supposedly did, you're lying. I don't interact enough on there to have violated anything.) - Using your account to repeatedly contact strangers for business or dating purposes is not allowed. (Yeah, because on top of everything else in my life, I am a hooker and JUST on Facebook. Seriously?!) Further proof of Facebook's cancerous tumor resides with a writer's group I joined. I was not the only writer/editor in the group and pretty much every editor was looking for work. One in particular said "Will work to pay my rent." I know the problem resides here because as soon as I created a new account to apologize to anyone that might need to know my whereabouts, with the intention of deleting the piece of shit later on today, and joined the group, I was locked out of the new account almost immediately. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to be able to put two and two together. If you are a member of this group, be forewarned. I was one of the first 100 members and it has now grown to nearly 3000 people. Someone in that circle has issues, and everyone ought to be very cautious. Thank you to Facebook for proving what I have always said about it. I apologize to the few people I actually supported wholeheartedly via the site. I will continue to follow you as I am able. As for Facebook, GO FUCK YOURSELF. And please be advised that I will let anyone and everyone know what a bunch of !@#$suckers you truly are. Perhaps I will start a Poison In Lethal Doses Pinterest page instead. As far as I know, they seem to appreciate my honesty and whimsy. Love to you all, HONESTLY. copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
You Don’t Want A Writer On Your Bad Side
I have just spent nearly seven hours trying to prove to Facebook that I’m a REAL person and not a computer in India. No, I am not kidding about that last part.
This is one of those ridiculous problems people have been dealing with for several years now with this crap-ass version of social media that people are obsessively addicted to.
At first, I was simply pissed off. Then I did a little research, mostly because I vividly remember someone else mentioning this recently happening to her where Facebook up and decided that she couldn’t use the name she has always used because “it’s not her legal name”. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re not spewing hate, terror, bullying, party to a serious crime, doing something truly illegal, and/or pretending to be a member of law enforcement or our military, you should be left the fuck alone. If you want to post as Donald Duck, go for it. And as a general rule, if you want your privacy, but still want to be a part of this crap, I truly do not care if you post a photo of yourself or not. It’s not necessary.
Overall, I’m not a social media fan. I do use Facebook for my professional career and for this platform. I am able to keep in touch with people I want to keep in touch with, and remain involved with things that are immediate and/or important to me. Beyond that, it’s not necessary.
Demanding that people provide you with their driver’s license, Social Security card, passport, birth certificate, etc., as “forms of I.D.” is BULLSHIT. On top of being a major invasion of privacy, you’re turning your users into even bigger morons.
You’ve risen because this world is full of followers, but I assure you, you’re preparing yourself for a major fall. If it was 2008, I’d still be with MySpace, which never once invaded my privacy or questioned my honesty as a human being.
If this is not resolved quickly, I will officially part ways with Facebook. There is no way in hell I am going to rebuild what it took me four and a half years to establish. Screw that!
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.









