This Is What You Do

“This is what you do. If you feel low, you stand tall. You mess up, you move on. You want to try something, try it, and if it was a stupid thing to try, you look it in the eye. There’s no turning back. You apologize if you’re sorry, but know that the nimblest, strongest hands can’t rebuild a bridge out of embers, so cut new wood. Start from scratch. You love with your whole heart. If you’re jealous, talk yourself down from the ledge. If you can’t talk yourself down from the ledge, have a good time up there, looking down on the world. If you have to lie to make everything true again, lie like you mean it. If you find yourself in a cage, reach out through the bars for the key, unlock the door, and run away. If running away gets dangerous, run home. If home doesn’t mean what it used to mean, decide what home will be in the future. That’s all it takes. If you get exiled into a new land, then go discover it. And if you feel like you’re drowning, go swimming.” –Hobson Brown

No Matter How Evolved We Think We Are

“No matter how evolved we think we are, when we are caught up in a terrible tragedy we don’t just sit around wondering what lessons we can learn from it — we are just simply holding on for dear life, hoping we can survive. Tragedy arrives in a blur, often accompanied by hopelessness, feigned calm, and a fog-like numbness that feels like a surreal dream. The last thing we may need when in moments of tremendous trial is empty reassurances that everything will be okay. Often, it most certainly will not be okay. What it will likely be though is different, and you will be different too. It’s better to just accept that things aren’t ever going to be the same again. As for all the lessons, sometimes we need a break from learning lessons. Sometimes we just need time and space alone; we can always learn later. In the crossroads of a painful crisis what we always need is a moment to breathe, pray, and accept our fate with dignity. This is how we steady ourselves against the great trials of life; quietly, not always bravely, but deep down in solitude, where we find our strength to survive.”

Bryant McGill

Depressing, yes, but I think it’s a solid quote, so I am sharing it.

Prayers Are Always Answered

“Prayers are always answered. You don’t have to beg or make deals with the Creator when you pray. The key is to pray with faith, knowing and believing that, what you ask for, you already have!” —Iyanla Vanzant

I seriously question this because I am having a major crisis of faith. I don’t lack faith; I lack the ability to believe my prayers are being listened to and heard. Especially when bad things keep piling up. 😦

The Trouble With Chronic Pain

“The trouble with chronic pain is that it is so easy to become accustomed to it, both mentally and physically. At first it’s absolutely agonizing; it’s the only thing you think about, like a rock in your shoe that rubs your foot raw with every step. Then the constant rubbing, the pain and the limp all become part of the status quo, the occasional stabbing pain just a reminder. You are so set to endure, hunched against it – and when it starts to ease, you don’t really notice, until the absence washes over you like a balm.” ―Robert J. Wiersema

People Assume…

“People assume you aren’t sick unless they see the sickness on your skin, like scars forming a map of all the ways you’re hurting.

My heart is a prison of ‘Have you tried’s? Have you tried exercising? Have you tried eating better? Have you tried not being sad, not being sick? Have you tried being more like me?” Have you tried shutting up?!

Yes, I have tried. Yes, I am still trying, and yes, I am still sick.

Sometimes monsters are invisible, and sometimes demons attack you from the inside. Just because you cannot see the claws and the teeth does not mean they aren’t ripping through me. Pain does not need to be seen to be felt.

Telling me there is no problem won’t solve the problem.

This is not how miracles are born. This is not how sickness works.” ―Emm Roy