Follow Sonia on Facebook or Twitter. She is incredibly gifted. Her books can be found at on-line merchants and at national bookstores. 🙂
Life
No One Else Has Access To The World
“No one else has access to the world you carry around within yourself; you are its custodian and entrance. No one else can see the world the way you see it. No one else can feel your life the way you feel it. Thus it is impossible to ever compare two people because each stands on such different ground. When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting envy into your consciousness; it can be a dangerous and destructive guest.” ―John O’Donohue
This is really resonating with me today. 🙂
Guess I Missed The Boat…
Happy Monday everyone. If you’ve been deluged by an obscene amount of snow, I’m sure it is anything but happy. Temperatures in the red, even if only via wind chill, are murderous. Keep warm, be safe, and don’t overdo it with the shoveling. Too many people are telling me about back, knee, and shoulder injuries from the mountains of snow they’ve had to deal with in one way or another, and I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.
This morning I was greeted by a dark, grey day. It sort of suits my mood at the moment. No, I’m not upset about anything or feeling down, nor am I angry at anything or anyone (Yes, these days DO happen.). I’m just tired, despite nine hours of sleep, and I have a migraine that could take down twelve horses and a head of cattle.
I start a new job in a few days, which I hope will be promising since this person has already asked me to be her permanent editor. In the meantime, I’m focusing on me. Today is “rest your head” day. I can’t even think straight much less focus on anything that requires fine motor skills.
I’ll try to answer e-mail and some messages this afternoon into the evening, but right now I’m cooking lunch. I’ve got peppers roasting in the oven, I’ve already made the sauce, and in the last stages of the peppers cooking, I’ll toss in some mushrooms since they’re quick to cook. After that I simply have to boil water for veggie pasta. YUM! I know I will feel better once I’ve had a hot meal. This was the quickest thing I could think of that wasn’t breakfast food and wouldn’t nauseate me when I’m already sensitive to smell. I’m nursing tea and have taken something for said migraine from hell. Hopefully by tomorrow, I will feel like a new woman. 🙂
I’m diligently preparing new posts for all of you. I am going to warn people in advance that some of the subject matter might be sensitive, and a lot of it truly IS. I am going to put warnings up that way no one happens upon something they truly don’t want to hear, see, read, etc. This is not a place for negativity, but it is a place for honest, open discussions. The things I write about aren’t for everyone and they do not apply to all, but I’d rather be myself and speak my mind as opposed to writing nonsense or untruths.
In a nutshell, I think it’s important to adhere to the core of who you are. When you know you’re right, don’t let anyone ever try to talk you out of who you are.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
It Doesn’t Feel Like A Saturday
Perhaps having a stressful week and being sick has made me feel like today is Friday, instead of Saturday. It’s disorienting. The sunrise looked more like a sunset, so incredibly stunning in blues and pinks. I have little interest now though in watching the actual sunset. I think it’s just laziness.
I completed a job this afternoon. I must be underestimating myself because I don’t usually pay attention to how many words I read in a day. I am very pleased to have this one behind me, it was incredibly quick and painless. I have several jobs waiting in the wings, minus the contracts. Until the contracts are signed, I get a brief respite. One contract will be printed, signed, and scanned tonight. Hopefully that will keep me busy for a while, especially since the only part of it I’ve worked on thus far is the first two pages.
I am fighting off something ugly (Kindly pull the knives out of my back so that I can feel my lungs, thank you.), so I’m trying to get better rest and do what I can to de-stress. All easier said than done. One day I was fine, the next day I was coughing so badly that my ribs feel bruised. Being sick like this has a way of making you feel far more fragile than you actually are.
I’m exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I’d like my own personal cave, complete with WiFi.
Yesterday, while in the middle of cooking, I finally got to see Gone Girl. The book was excellent, and I’m pretty sure it reiterated by issues with marriage, but the movie was also well done. Kudos to Gillian Flynn for not only writing the book, but also writing the screenplay. Next up will be The Judge. I’m looking forward to that.
I’m happy to say that two weeks in a row, I managed to score a good two hours of “me time”, with no interruptions. It really helps ones’ psyche to place themselves first at times and not allow anyone to interfere with that. I will be busy this week, but I still intend to set aside a few hours for myself, even if only to breathe or catch up on all the shows I’ve been missing.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Conversations In My House: Part One
Conversations In My House: Part One
This is an actual conversation I had, verbatim, yesterday morning.
Him: “I’m out of body wash?”
Me: “If the bottle isn’t there, then yes, it would appear so.”
Him: “You didn’t think to replace it?”
Me: <left eyebrow raised> “Do I LOOK like your mother?”
Him: “No. Do you have something I can use for today?”
Me: “I’m sure there’s something in there. In fact, I know there’s plenty in there.”
Him: “Yeah, but they all smell…girly.”
Me: “They rinse clean, just fucking use it.”
Him: “Don’t you have a bar of regular soap?”
Me: “I’m a woman, I use body wash.”
This incites grumbling.
Halfway through the shower I hear this,
Him: “There’s nothing left in this bottle.” (There’s a good three squeezes left in there. I have it upside down right now. 24 ounces is 24 ounces and the bottle is see-thru, I’m not an idiot.)
Me: “It was plenty for an entire shower less than five minutes ago.”
Him: “But now it’s empty.” (There was whining and sighing, it was ridiculous.)
Me: “Here, use this.”
Him: “What does it smell like?”
Me: “It smells fine, just use it. Rinse the shower thoroughly when you’re done so it doesn’t stain. Sometimes this one stains.”
Him: alarmed “Wait, what?! Why will it stain? What IS it?”
I’d already walked out.
Him: “Seriously, what IS this stuff? I’m going to smell like a giant Hershey’s Kiss!”
Philosophy Chocolate Covered Cherry, for the win!
Him, before he shaves and gets dressed: “Be honest. I smell like chocolate, right?”
Lesson to be learned: Don’t be a douche-bag if you want the fancy unisex stuff. Moreover, you’re an adult. Buy your own damn soap!
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
It’s Okay To Take It Easy
I intended to get some work done today. I am doing an editing job to help someone out from a writer’s group I previously belonged to. I am also doing an editing job because it’s my job to do so. However, with no set deadline, I found myself procrastinating on opening the file. I’ve already done several pages on it already and the author hasn’t stated when she wants or needs it back. Considering she’s just blown the last week, I don’t feel like I need to be putting in 10-12 hour days on it just yet. In turn, I feel no guilt whatsoever in taking it easy today.
I’ve answered almost all of my e-mails, no easy feat that. I’ve watched my British Bombay (a breed of solid black cat. The major difference between them and an American Bombay are the shape of their face, ears, and their eye color. Plus, she’s all mine and looks so sweet and innocent while curled up like a bum.) sleep in various positions in front of me. The little lamb chop purred all through her nail-clipping, as if she was being brushed instead of having her nails cut down by half. (It was long overdue. She’s been slippery in her methods of escaping me whenever she sees the handle of the special nail trimmer I have.) I tooled around with the new Twitter page for this platform, @PoisonPlatform. It’s not much at the moment, but it will get there, though it feels slightly pointless. And then, for actual fun, I watched Arrow, The Originals, and the last two episodes of Stalker, which I missed. Perhaps later I’ll watch something else. (Banshee, definitely Banshee.)
After more than a week of being the exact opposite of myself, I am thinking very sharply today and feeling next to no pain from the Fibromyalgia. A little back soreness, yes, but none of the severe pain from neck to toe that I feel every single day of my life. I’m sure it will return with a vengeance the second I think about it too much.
Monday is Imbolc/Groundhog Day. My one sign that Spring is around the corner is that the bunnies have returned to my backyard. They’re chewing away at the grass that has peeped up beneath the melting snow. Clearly they’ve been all over the yard, as the snow is chock full of bunny paw prints. CUTEST.THING.THIS.WEEK. The morning doves are also visiting regularly. The thought of fresh-cut grass sends me into a horrific sneezing fit, and yet I would welcome it over the somewhat Siberian temperatures. Siberia is in my blood, but knowing that it will be -10 with the wind chill doesn’t exactly do anything for me.
Originally I prepared a different post for today, but I want a few days to re-evaluate it (read: psychoanalyze it to death). It has the potential to make some people uncomfortable, which isn’t my intention, but philosophical and theological debates are quite interesting to me and I think it’s important to cover subject matter that is personally interesting, even if it might make a few people think a lot more closely than they normally do.
This is the first Super Bowl that I will probably miss. I’m a Patriots fan (and a New York Giants fan), but right now I’m about as interested in football as I am in watching snow melt. So long as everyone is safe, live and let live.
How are you spending your end-of-January/Super Bowl weekend? If it’s in Hawaii, do me a favor and skip the comments.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Am I Wearing A Sign?
I am thisclose (that is not a typo) to killing one of my clients. If you feel like someone is professionally giving you the runaround, it’s probably because they are. Though I suspect, some people are truly stupider than one can give them credit for.
There aren’t enough “LOLs” in the world to mask the utter stupidity I am dealing with. Making a HUGE mistake and then sending me a message about your mistake isn’t cute, unless we’re friends. It’s even less cute when that mistake personally affects me.
And then, I get the manuscript. Nearly 70,000 words that, after two pages, made me want to hang myself. I swear to God, I need to eat, calm the hell down, and look at it in a day or two because there is NO WAY I am going to be professional in this moment. I wish I had a bottle of wine on hand to smack over my own head…after drinking it, of course. I’m not much of a drinker, but man, my clients are going to turn me into a full-blown alcoholic. Should you ever see me wandering the streets aimlessly, kindly shoot me and put me out of my misery.
Oh, and the snow was no big deal. It looks like it totalled out around 5 inches or so, if that. Sadly, my poor Aunt got saddled with 2 1/2 feet of snow. I hope she doesn’t have to see a single snowflake until next winter. Praying for an early Spring, which is saying a lot with my allergies.
To Be What We Are…
“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” -Baruch Spinoza
I stole this from my brother. He’ll never know. 😉
My Goal This Weekend
In all seriousness, being sick made this a long, drawn out week. It was only made better by lots of fluids, rest, and soup. I am nothing if not serious about soup. Unfortunately, whatever this virus is, it lulled me into a false sense of security because it’s a sadistic bastard. I was fine for a day or two, and then it came back stronger and took me out. I lost an entire day of work because I desperately needed medicine and rest. I’m taking a less powerful dose of the medicine now, but I am still achy and not feeling like myself, plus the medicine is working on my lungs big time. Quite frankly, I did not know they were so deeply involved. It’s disgusting, really. Moreover, should this be making my kidneys feels like they’re going to run off and leave me? I’m certain the answer is “No.”
“Starve a fever, feed a cold.” is not nonsense, it’s true. My appetite hasn’t once been off. Obviously, I can’t eat certain things at the moment, but everything I can eat is making a difference, or at least that’s what I am being led to believe.
All things taken into consideration, I think I was a rock star this week. Sick as a dog, but under deadline, I completed the big manuscript yesterday afternoon ahead of schedule. Unlike the previously aforementioned asshole client I alluded to days ago, this one was incredibly respectful and immediately gave me professional feedback. I address issues right away, I don’t slip them into something serious nearly two full months after the fact. Yes, it still pisses me off.
I have two additional, albeit smaller, manuscripts to get through by Friday and then another client would like me to take a look at a couple of chapters. Both of them are aware that I am sick and both of them told me “No rush at all, there’s no deadline for this.” In all fairness, that probably only makes me work harder because I take my contracts seriously. I’ll do my best, but I might give myself part of this weekend to stay in bed and (possibly) watch season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. Approximately thirteen hours of Charlie Hunnam… It’s all part of the healing process, folks. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)
I’m tired, achy, unpleasant, and seriously contemplating breakfast. How badly do I want it? How much work is truly involved, and do I REALLY want to eat? The truth is, I’m hungry and I do want to eat, but knowing this involves some work on my part means I’m not running to the kitchen just yet.
Also, I am beyond saddened to learn that I will be unable to donate bone marrow because of the Fibromyalgia. I didn’t talk about this when I first found out earlier in the week because I was very upset and found myself in tears. One of my neighbors has been stricken with cancer. My first thought was “I can donate blood and get tested to see if I’m a match to donate bone marrow.” I lost my father to cancer when he was 63. He bravely battled various forms of cancer for 15 years before it took his life. I’ve lost many key family members to cancer, and hearing about this makes me ill to the core. I don’t feel that my neighbors’ children deserve to lose their father so young (I was both young enough, but still adult enough to handle it to the best of my ability without self-destructing.), so I am determined to do whatever I can to help. After days of research, I found out this morning that Fibro patients cannot donate at all. My brother CAN be tested and is more than willing to donate, but since I cannot, and feel like shit for it, the organization has suggested I put together a registry drive in my area to help bring about awareness and possibly save some lives. I will speak with them about this next week. I’m very upset that this is all that I can personally do, but I believe something MUST be done, so I am taking the initiative. If you live in the Northeast Philadelphia area, maybe you can volunteer or come out to the drive and get tested. I will provide a date and time as soon as I know more.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled Saturday. I hope everyone has a good one.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Written by LISA MARINO-Molchanova 