Month: January 2021

Hope

Miss Poison America, Hope , , , , ,

I know everyone wants to be hopeful today, and many are full of joy, as the 46th President of the United States is sworn into office, alongside the first female Vice President (!). I have to be honest; I always thought Hillary Clinton would be the first female President, but I am quite hopeful for Kamala Harris (She’s smart, strong, and incredibly likeable.) and her role in how we move forward as a nation, but I realized earlier today that I had ignored my own mantra for a while in my attempt to tune as much of this out as humanly possible.

My mantra has been, “Question EVERYTHING” for as long as I can remember. It’s a good mantra. I am not the most trusting person. I often wait for people to fuck up because it’s inevitable. But today, I can only hope the new President doesn’t fuck up royally. This country can’t afford any more screw-ups. We have to take care of our citizens and remember who our long-time allies are. Now is not a time to pick fights or look for war, because it’s all too possible the war we face is on our own soil.

Many of us are far too young to remember slavery on U.S. soil, Civil War, World Wars I & II, Pearl Harbor, or Vietnam, but we aren’t too young to remember 9/11, Saddam Hussein, Al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, ISIS, or the constant crap pulled by Hamas, the “Palestinian Authority”, and other extremist terrorist groups. Let the record state, I feel it’s important to discuss terrorism on all levels.

As I listened to people I know talk about their views, post the incident at the Capitol Building earlier this month, I realized how sheltered many truly were regarding White Supremacist “organizations” and other documented hate groups that are alive and well, functioning daily in this country.

Growing up in New York City, I didn’t encounter a lot of these things (Jehovah’s Witnesses? Yes, on the regular. I’ve actually never managed to escape them wherever I’ve lived. Unlike my Great-Uncle, I have never felt the need to invite them in for coffee and a religious debate.), but I was always highly aware. I was the girl who was always writing, but I was also the person who wanted to become a police officer who would make detective, and then move on to the FBI. Law enforcement was something I believed there was honor in. My detective instincts are a natural part of who I am; ask any of my friends who’ve been on a bad date or had a guy mistreat them. I recently offered to do a background check on someone, and I wasn’t joking.

My awareness of hatred started way before kindergarten, and because I’ve been lucky enough to have certain opportunities, groups like the KKK are something I’ve always known about. I knew they had a plethora of fringe groups with similar ideas and ideals, and there are so many of them who recruit online, but I could never wrap the blind hatred around my own mind because nature versus nurture is a real thing. It’s also impossible to brainwash me because I truly do question everything.

Nancy Pelosi was one hundred percent right to call out the fact that many wore Neo-Nazi t-shirts. She referred to one individual in particular and called him a, “punk”. The truth of this statement was way too polite, but I was proud of her in that moment. I hate politics, but I respect people who can honor the wrongs and do their best to correct the hate we are seeing rise every day. I’ve never stood for hatred of anyone, but I always stand for truth.

If you lost family during the Holocaust, you would understand this feeling (seeing those shirts) in a deeper way. Jews were not the only people murdered. Hitler was insane and evil (Remind you of anyone?) and believed he was annihilating anyone who didn’t fit into his, “Master Race” image. The Nazi regime also killed their own people who would not help them (Many died by refusing to turn in neighbors, friends, etc.), Roma Gypsies, anyone who was disabled or ill, and anyone from the LGBTQ+ community they could find.

My cousins were freedom fighters during the Holocaust, putting themselves at severe risk. Whenever someone denounces it as being “a Jewish propaganda lie”, wears an offensive t-shirt, or accuses Israel of apartheid actions, I think of them, and wonder how many people are alive today because of them. How many people got away, immigrated to another country, and rebuilt their lives because of their kindness and fighting spirit? I will never know, but I do know they’re out there. I occasionally wonder where my fighting spirit comes from, and despite not being like anyone else in my family, I know I’ve inherited traits along the way.

The Holocaust is not the only mass genocide the world has seen; and many ignored it while it took place. Until the camps were liberated, we cannot ever forget that the United States turned people away on their shores, people who arrived by boat, and they did so by Presidential order. It’s not spoken about enough. However, the Holocaust is not alone in its horrors. It is not without equally disturbing stories which took place in other countries.

The Armenian Genocide came first, beginning in 1915. Turkey still denies this ever took place. As though a million people, possibly more, simply vanished. Many other countries have committed atrocities against their own people over the centuries, and it needs to be discussed openly and honestly. If I can’t shrug my shoulders about any of it, then no one else should get away with that type of behavior, either. It is not okay to denounce the horrors man has allowed. When I think about these things, it fuels me into a tunnel vision mindset.

Slavery was once rampantly accepted all across this country. It’s heinous. It is now synonymous with human-trafficking, and the darker undercurrents that many are blind to. I can’t close my eyes and pretend I don’t know about these things. I don’t want to ignore the history because if I do, then I’m just another ignorant person who is useless to this world and its betterment.

Overall, it would be nice to have hope, but seeing as how I’m always going to be myself ,and this lends to certain things, I can only say I’m going to be realistic. Because after the past few years, it’s truly all I’ve got to offer. Realistic honesty.

If you have hope, more power to you. I’m tired of all the division and hope it can be bettered, but again, I’m realistic and honest about change.

Here’s to 4-8 years with minimal fuck-ups.

copyright © 2021 by Lisa Marino & Poison In Lethal Doses, LLC.

Ungrateful Caturday

Miss Poison Caturday , , , , ,

My cats have decided I’m merely a person who feeds them and rewards them for existing with expensive treats, which they think they should receive every few hours, so long as I’m working and they can annoy me. And they’ve taken to jumping on my head and screeching if they aren’t fed by 8:00 a.m.

As I type this, they are both standing near a mostly closed door, peeking in on me. If I move, so do their heads. This goes on for hours. I’ve become human furniture that requires regular cat spies. Next time, I’m ordering cuddly cats.

Writing, Reading, and Trying To Stay Focused

Miss Poison Writing , , , , , , , , ,

It was a bizarre first week of January, to say the least. I’m going to try not to talk about what happened at the Capitol Building because my brain is still trying to process the remnants of the act. I didn’t know how much it would trigger my PTSD. Especially as someone I am familiar with shared his experience of being in lockdown in the building while this was happening. I remember immediately thinking of him and worrying, but he stayed in touch and I respect how honest he was about the entire ordeal. People like to say nasty shit to him, for no real reason other than trolling someone because their politics don’t line up with yours, but he’s been a good connection for me to make since moving to Massachusetts.

What have I been up to since January 1st? I’ve been reading like a madwoman, studying hard, and was also able to write over eight thousand words on a psychological thriller I’ve been trying to grasp for maybe six months, or so. The story is progressing nicely. 🙂 When I look back upon the beginning of the month, it seems like I had a steady, and successful week. I suppose I did. I’d consider it small steps, in truth.

This week is already different. I am determined to truly break open my new laptop (She’s beautiful and I shall name her Poison 8.0. I won’t lie; all of my laptops have names. Why else do they give me the option? 😉 It’s not for shits and giggles. I might not name a car, but I’m sure as hell going to name the laptop that keeps me creative and working.). The computer arrived much earlier than I expected, and after initially logging in, I put it back in its original box and set it aside. I had looked at it, from day one, as a matter for 2021. My brain, unfortunately, is still confused whenever I write the new year down or see it on anything. I have the same reaction to the calendar; it startles me a bit. I feel discombobulated, for lack of a better word. I feel like I blinked and there was a ton of change I haven’t quite caught up with just yet. I’ll get there, because obviously, work is taking off in a new direction and I have to be prepared for every moment of it. I am also going to take it to Best Buy and have all of my files transferred over as soon as I can. But only if it means getting them both back within the same day. I don’t want to miss a moment of this creative drive. It’s a nice ride to be on, and any good writer will tell you the same thing.

2020 was a good year for me financially and professionally, which encouraged me to break out of my shell a bit and look into new options. The “new options” and new projects are on their way, and I am encouraged by the authenticity of them. They are 110% ME from start to finish and I am proud of this fact. If you see me do something, know that I didn’t have help in it. I will only ever credit someone if I had no hand in it, but the work you see with my name on it, know I did it all.

The downside of having this success, on any level, is seeing how hard others have worked to try to one-up me. And it’s not so much, “work”, as it is someone trying to compete against me for no valid reason. It really made me roll my eyes; especially one person in particular who has felt more like a frenemy over the past 4-5 years, as opposed to a real friend. I realize some women don’t understand deep connections, and that’s okay, but I’m not going to get behind people, “just because”. That’s not who I am. My core group of friends know they will always have my support in whatever they do personally and professionally (Unless I am worried for them, in which case I will be honest. I’m known for my honesty because it’s part of who I am. Being direct shouldn’t be considered a bad thing.), and they support and encourage me, as well. They’re happy for me; not competitive. So, I’ve started severing ties here and there with toxic people and the negative energy they bring along. I do that to move forward, and I also do it because it helps my mental health not to see those low vibrations trying to touch me as I ascend.

I will say this now and never again: I don’t buy followers to make my numbers look better. Not here. Not on Twitter. Not on Instagram. Nowhere. When I look at my numbers, I know they are authentic. I don’t have bot followers. I have certainly been approached to pad my numbers, but that’s so disrespectful to my core readers and it detracts from my message, as well. My ego isn’t part of the equation here. I receive offers all the time to pad the numbers by tens to hundreds of thousands, and I refuse to do it. It sickens me. So while social media ebbs and flows, I let it be. I only follow and support people who are part of my circle and/or people I genuinely like. There’s no other reason to click the follow button, and I speak for myself on this level.

Occasionally a friend will have to remind me about their newest blog post, but they will also tell you I DO jump online and read it. I don’t allow people to have a lot of access to me anymore, so generally the people who can reach out instantly have my phone number and can text me whenever they want. Or, they will message me via a different app and we have a relationship based on communication and mutual support. I have seen these extremely talented individuals start from scratch and a few years in, they are, like me, not padding their numbers. I have more respect for that than I do for people who so obviously are buying fake followers. People don’t like to admit it, but I’ve had so many agents and publishers tell me they know it’s going on and they can’t abide by it. If it makes no sense to someone who knows how all of this works, then it should raise questions for others as well.

So, after I make hopefully just one more tedious phone call this week, I will have time to prepare the new laptop. In between reading and writing. If you’re going to be at home, you might as well be productive on as many levels as humanly possible. Because other than grocery shopping and laundry, books and creativity will always be there for me, and I’m grateful for that.

Stay tuned, my friends. Stay tuned. 🙂