Text Messages

I try very hard not to fly off the handle with people I love/like/respect, but every once in a while someone says something and they take no responsibility for what a comment implies. It’s perfectly okay to say “I don’t have time to talk at the moment, can we talk later?”, but it’s not okay to tell a person that they’ve “wasted their time with you” and blame you for their poor time-management skills. Especially when this is a sudden issue and has never come up before. If I don’t have time for something in the moment, I wait until I do. I don’t place blame on someone else for taking a few minutes out of my day, EVER (Unless it’s my brother, who torments me with irritating shit, but that’s another story.).

Like most people, I don’t like being accused of things I haven’t done and would never do. No one wants to be accused of heinous shit and then be called “sweetie”, “dear”, etc. It’s passive-aggressive and it pisses me off.

When a comment implies that you’re A) A drug dealer, B) a prostitute, or C) a white-collar criminal, all within the confines of the words “This is how you acquire legal income.”, you either re-read the words to make sure you haven’t hallucinated or had a stroke, or you say WHAT.THE.FUCK?! That comment is directly insinuating that my income is somehow illegal. There’s no getting around that, it’s a loaded comment. When you know you’re the absolute OPPOSITE of those things, tell me you wouldn’t flip out on the person saying the idiotic crap. If you’d let it slide, please exit stage door left. I don’t like, appreciate, or respect doormats.

My immediate response was nearly “Go fuck yourself.”, which I decided not to use as my actual reply. However, I did put the other person in their place and turn my phone off. I decided it was best to take a nap and try to let it go because there are some things you simply do not say to me, not if you like living.

I don’t want to hear ANYTHING this person has to say because I cannot unhear or unsee what was said, and there was a lot said. There are some things in life that you cannot apologize for, and I am not a “sweep it under the rug” kind of chick. I’ve made it clear in all of my relationships that if you cross certain lines with me, there’s no going back. This was a HUGE fucking line.

Insinuating things that aren’t true implies some pretty negative views against who I am as a person, especially when I’ve never been anything but good to them. I will not stand for that kind of disrespect.

Somehow, this magically became all about them and not about what THEY said. It was more along the lines of “How dare you speak up for yourself. I feel SO disrespected!” Excuse me?! I’m not the one insinuating negative crap. God No, you’re not selfish or self-absorbed AT ALL…despite the fact that you turn every single thing ever said into the ‘You Show’.

When you say something wrong, you apologize. You don’t turn it around on the other person and make yourself into the victim. If ever I am in the wrong, I have no trouble admitting it. Sometimes we don’t see that we’re potentially in the wrong, sometimes it takes a few days to realize the impact it may have had on the other person, but in this particular instance, I know that I am right.

I immediately replied “Are you implying that I am somehow illegally acquiring income? Because if you are, that is low.” I said it yesterday morning and turned the phone off before I said something truly awful. I have a temper, it’s not a secret. The same fiery passion and loyalty that will defend you to the death can turn against you if you cross a line with me. I make no apologies for it because I am honest about it upfront. I’ve never downplayed that side of who I am. When someone pushes on every last nerve I’ve got, I am going to push back, but believe me when I say, the person in question didn’t even get a bug bite compared to what I can actually achieve through words and actions. If I truly want to hurt you, I have the power to do so, but I use my power wisely because viciousness isn’t a daily requirement. Taking the nap was for me, and for the other person’s overall safety, but I was under no circumstances going to let that comment fly.

Last evening, the text messages started flowing in over my incredibly benign “clarify yourself” question. For over a fucking hour. I nearly laughed at the manic ridiculousness of it all. If you want to start a fight with me, you will not win. I have a skill-set and it is not one-dimensional.

Sadly, the person sending the messages has exactly one skill-set. They will get defensive and say all kinds of ridiculous crap, and later back down because they “don’t want to fight”. Well, then shut the fuck up and don’t start shit. It’s really quite simple. Communicate like an adult or don’t bother. I know four year olds with better texting and communication skills!

If you’re guilty of spelling words via text message improperly, you had better have some kind of bizarre character limit on your texting plan or an I.Q. that matches your shoe size because there’s no way I will accept it unless you’re between the ages of 10 and 16. I will absolutely NOT accept it if you’re over 30. “Ur, “U”, “2”, and “B” will drive me bonkers over time. I have a swiping app on my phone for texting. It’s free, so anyone can use it. It means my ability to go to 400+ characters is nearly as fast as I type on my laptop, and I don’t shorten words, not even the word “okay”. Auto-correct is a bitch at times, but I’ve definitely expanded its’ horizons over the past seven months.

I decided to ignore most of the texts between 5:00 and 7:00 PM. I replied a few times to say “This is inappropriate for texting, I will discuss this with you when you’re able to communicate with me properly.” The accusations kept flowing. Using my words against me, which was done by re-typing my text back to me, was one of the most comical things I’ve seen this week. My response was “That’s your big defense? I’m not even going to engage you on that.” Why? Because it is childish and ridiculous. I know what I said and when I say “I nearly told you off because of what you said, but I held back.” and the other person gets pissy about it, I don’t need a never-ending soliloquy about how difficult your life is…all of a sudden. At that point, I become completely immune to your drama. Once again I responded by saying “I will discuss this with you at a later date.” I turned my phone off and that, for me, was it. I figured the conversation could continue by phone this weekend, or via e-mail, or really, not at all. I am pissed and I don’t currently have it in me to be nice.

When I woke up this morning there were two new messages. It started off with “I don’t want to fight with you.” I’d said in one message that their anger was misplaced and I wasn’t going to take responsibility for this person being angry at someone else. That’s only fair. However, if you don’t want to fight with me, don’t start a fight.

If you’ve known me for a year, two years, ten years, or twenty years, then you KNOW that pushing my buttons is going to unleash the beast. At this point, you know full well that snotty comments, insipid questions, being nosey, telling me what to do, how and when to do it, and/or talking down to me is going to have an effect. You can’t temper rude comments with “honey”, “sweetie”, “baby”, “dear”, or “I love you.” I am not receptive to that. It’s absolute bullshit to me, plain and simple.

I didn’t respond to the new texts because I want some space before I get into it again, despite the fact that I shouldn’t have to rehash it. Alas, I get an e-mail with the contents of the two text messages “Just in case I didn’t check my phone…” Are you kidding me with this shit?!

The nicest thing I could say this morning is “I read the texts when I woke up this morning. There’s a reason I didn’t respond. I need some time before I say anything, and I hope you can understand that.”

I am not going to waste an entire day on the phone this weekend discussing this crap. I am not going to respond to any additional text messages. Until I calm down and this person’s incessant mania stops, they are persona non grata. I have enough going on in my life, I don’t need additional drama on top of it.