Time Is Ungovernable…

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“Time is ungovernable, but grief presents us with a choice: what do we do with the savage energies of bereavement? What do we do with the memory – or in the memory – of the beloved? Some commemorate love with statuary, but behavior, too, is a memorial, as is a well-lived life. In death, there is always the promise of hope. The key is opening, rather than numbing, ourselves to pain. Above all, we must show our children how to celebrate existence in all its beauty, and how to get up after life has knocked us down, time and again. Half-dead, we stand. And together, we salute love. Because in the end, that’s all that matters. How hard we loved, and how hard we tried.” ―Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Dear fellow motherless daughters: Here’s how I’ve learned to cope on Mother’s Day

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https://www.yahoo.com/gma/dear-fellow-motherless-daughters-heres-095400614.html

The other day, someone who’d just met me asked what I’d be doing with my mother this Sunday. It was such a jolting question to come from someone who didn’t even know my name, but I saw her apology, and her inability to understand that not everyone has a living parent to celebrate with, after she tried to absorb my polite response. She then changed the subject to marriage and I was even more annoyed. 🙄 I honestly thought I’d be asked about my pap smear, next!

Its important to be sensitive to others. I am not the only motherless daughter in the world, but sometimes, it feels like I am. I am grateful to friends who’ve basically adopted me and made sure that I don’t have to break down and be upset. I’m also grateful to those who intentionally harmed me, so I could see them for who they truly are.

Black New Moon In Taurus

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Closing out the month of April on a high-ish note. Change is coming, and I am preparing for it to the best of my ability. This month was rough, and I am trying to recover to avoid issues with trauma moving forward.

Anyone who has been reading my work for more than a year knows May is a difficult month for me, filled with loss, mourning, and more tragedy than any one person should have to endure. I am hoping this year, it’ll be far more positive. To start, a very close friend is moving to the area and I look forward to spending time with her and (finally!) having some fun, as well as mutual respect and appreciation. Most of my closest friends live overseas, so it’s not like I can call them and ask if they’d like to see a movie, go hiking, shopping, or simply have dinner together. It’s a luxury and a privilege to have my friends close at hand, so I am excited she will be here soon. 😊

If I’ve learned anything in life, it is to go where I am most appreciated and valued. Anyone who chooses not to see the real me is someone I do not want, or need, in my life. They can take their negative energy and vile attitude somewhere else. I don’t deserve the bullshit, and yes, I am working on a piece where this subject will come up. I don’t play games and I’ve reached my boiling point. Unfortunately, I have simply been too sick the last few weeks to complete what I’ve been writing, but I assure you I’m getting there. Slowly, but surely.

Bright Blessings, one and all.