Have You Ever Had A Day…

2014-09-08 Miss Poison Being Real, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Health, Honesty, Life, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thoughts, Unbelievable Crap, Uncategorized, Unfiltered, Writing Answers, Fibromyalgia, God/Goddess, Help, Hope, Horrific Days, Power, Prayer, Strength, Writing

Have You Ever Had A Day…

We’ve all had days where we’d like to call into work or life “dead”. For me, today is one of those days. I’ve reached a breaking point. It started yesterday, when I had to walk away from a very serious look at suicide. No, I am not seeking attention with my honesty, I am simply being forthcoming. Why do so many things have to go wrong all at once? Why does every single thing in life revolve around money?

Money equates security, and it also equates greed, depending on how you look at it. Some people are so greedy for “stuff” that they never realize they could be helping someone in need. It doesn’t even occur to them. No matter how bad things get in my life, I always look at where I came from and if a small donation to charity will make a difference, then I will do it. If helping someone with a problem, or simply being a good person is what is needed of me on any given day, then I don’t even think about it, I just do it.

For me, money is about security. It’s about making sure the bills are paid, there is a roof over my head, and food on the table. It’s also about providing for my overall health. Yes, I like nice things, what woman doesn’t, but if it comes down to buying something shiny and buying food, I am going to choose food. If it comes down to paying my bills or buying something fancy, I am going to pay my bills. In this, I feel like my priorities are in check. Someone suggested to me that during my struggles, I get rid of my cat. I was LIVID. I would rather STARVE than surrender a precious little life that trusts and loves me into the hands of a shelter. Who else will cheer me up with her insane antics and ankle biting?!

Some days though, I simply don’t know how I survive, or why. These past two years have been a terrible struggle for me with my health, with family, and life in general. When you’re suffering, finances dwindle pretty quickly. As my health worsens, I am faced with the very real possibility of being homeless, of requiring a pain pump to help manage the Fibromyalgia, and possibly a wheelchair. I assure you that I am far too young for the last two, and yet, these are all very real possibilities. Moreover, they’re terrifying.

If you believe in a Higher Power, today I ask that you say a little prayer for anyone and everyone suffering and struggling. I will do the same. I believe strongly in the power of prayer, and I also believe that sometimes the best things comes out of the absolute worst things.

Today I find myself desperate, humbled, and scared for so many reasons. I have nothing left, but to believe that God has answers, and that they will soon show themselves in unexpected ways.

Greetings!

2014-09-04 Miss Poison Images/Photos/Quotes, Poison In Lethal Doses, Thoughts, Writing Thoughts, Writing

Hello lovely people.

I last wrote about character death. It’s not going so well. It’s not so much the writing as it is my anger. Sometimes writing out your personal anger/issues is very therapeutic (not to mention, cheaper), and sometimes it is distracting to the point where you find that you spent 20 minutes organizing magazines for your guns, and that you did it in order of caliber. 9mm, .40, .45. I chose to leave everything else on the side. I even organized by Glock, Sig Sauer, etc. I was told you should have at least 5-7 back-ups per gun. I find myself appalled that I have exceeded such expectations. I have no idea if I’m prepared for a person, or a bear. Is it better to be prepared and never need them?

I don’t get true writer’s block, but I do get annoyed. I find that the best thing to do is walk away from whatever it is I am writing once I’ve reached annoyance level. There is always time to re-visit what you’re writing. Coming back refreshed helps rid me of my annoyance, and it helps the words flow much smoother than they would if I had “ridden it out”. I’m absolutely NOT going to sit here and stare at the screen unless I’ve got words to type. It’s not going to happen. I can take a break, drink some water, and do other things. It need not be forced. If I force the work, it will show, and I’ll have to scrap it any way, so I have learned not to push. One of the benefits of 27 years of writing experience is that I know when to back off and give myself some space. I trust my instincts implicitly. In turn, I’m shelving the deaths and will re-focus my attention on book 1 re-writes.

Recently someone asked me how many times they should re-write and/or revise a manuscript before submission. They’d done four revisions, I believe. I strongly encouraged them NOT to say “This has been revised four times.” in their query letter because absolutely no literary agent wants to hear such a small number. I did not say to lie, but I did say “Get someone you trust to look it over with a discerning eye.” (If you’re a writer reading this, I would also encourage you to hire someone via Elance.com to do a full-on edit, and be open to their ideas for changes, but do not for a single second think that you can throw $50 at someone and that the end result will be perfect. You get what you pay for, I know because I’ve been editing for about 19 years. Come to the table with a really solid budget. $400-$500, at the very least, and select someone who has, at minimum, 10 years of editing experience. If you want to pay hourly, you can certainly come to the table with a smaller budget based on how many chapters you have, but in order to know you’re making the right choice with someone, I’d only send them the first two chapters. If that doesn’t come back solid, find someone else to finish the job.). They want to hear that you’ve put YEARS into writing this book and that they’re not simply looking at a first draft you’ve been playing around with for six months. Essentially, they will be the determining factor for so much, so respect their position and bring your A game.

I will be back soon with some interesting topics of discussion. Enjoy the rest of your week.

How Much Does Music Influence Your Writing?

2014-08-29 Miss Poison Music, Musical Influence, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Books, Characters, Music, Musical Influence, Writers, Writing

How Much Does Music Influence Your Writing?

As a writer, I get asked this question quite a bit. As I work on the first four novels in what will be, at the very least, an eight book series, I do have a playlist I refer to when I am researching.

I have eclectic taste in music. It may or may not be the kind of music you like to listen to, but it’s truly all over the place. For book one, I have a 500 song playlist on my Kindle Fire. I listen to it at the grocery store, the nail salon, at home, in the shower. I have the same playlist on my phone. Some songs really speak to the individual characters, and others just set the tone for the world in which I have created. I have a similar playlist on my computer, but apparently due to some cross over repetition, there are less songs in that particular playlist. That, or I never bothered to update it when I switched over to the new laptop. Since I tend to access it via my cloud, that’s probably why.

Do specific artists influence my characters? No, but a few songs are like theme music for them. I have that moment where I think “Okay, so and so is on the page.”, as if Elvis just walked into the building. But again, there’s such an eclectic mix that I’m listening to Halestorm one minute and something classical the next. I always have my music on shuffle, always. I cannot listen to it any other way, and much like bad TV, I will often skip over songs obsessively until I find precisely the one I want to listen to. At certain moments, a song is often on repeat.

Unlike many genre writers, I do NOT have music playing when I am writing. It’s irritating and distracts me from the task at hand. When words are playing out in my head, the music has to be paused, muted, or shut off completely. But prior to that, I often have something on for long, or short, periods of time. It just depends on the mood I am going for and whether or not something external is influencing my brain in the moment. It also depends on whether or not I am writing in the midst of a migraine, in which case, I want it as silent as possible and might actually be writing silently in a notebook with a pen.

I do not have individual playlists for each of my characters. I have songs that intensely remind me of them, but that’s pretty much where it ends. Because I have eclectic taste, I do not feel the need to weave a ton of music into my work. In book one, I think exactly two bands are mentioned in total. No music is mentioned in the beginnings of the other novels, but that doesn’t mean that won’t change.

The protagonist is, much like me, a music lover, but she tends to use music in the same ways that I do in her daily life. That wasn’t intentional, it just sort of flowed that way. Some of the other characters, if this wasn’t for book purposes, would have some pretty epic songs involved with their appearances. If this were being written for television or movie purposes, the characters all have both visual, mental, emotional, and musical impact. I can’t describe it any better than that. The protagonist, perhaps, is a bit more meditational, a lot more internally verbal, yet still strong and influential.

My current musical influences as I write, at the moment, for different reasons, are The Band Perry, Kacey Musgraves, Carrie Underwood, Ed Sheeran, Miranda Lambert, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Snow Patrol, Gavin DeGraw, & Christina Aguilera. A very odd grouping indeed. Trust me, this can, and will, change on a dime.

Are there specific artists influencing your writing? If so, let me know who in the comments.

People have no idea exactly how serious I am about this!

Photo credit to M.J. Rose. If you haven’t read her books, I highly recommend them.

Mass Hello

2014-08-21 Miss Poison Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Fall, Hello, Reflection, Summer, Writing

Hello everyone!

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to complete the three new pieces I started writing since my last post. I prefer to give you all brand new material, as opposed to recycling, though I suppose it’s all right, so long as it is MY work and original, which it always is.

My daily life has been hectic, stressful, and unpleasant, but that doesn’t ever truly stop the writing. I simply refuse to post something until it is as close to perfect as I can get. There’s always a moment or something that occurs during the course of each day that inspires me to take a moment and jot something down. I’ve got so many notebooks filled with thoughts and ideas for new posts, or half written posts, and sometimes I just have to organize it and type, other times I type from scratch.

I hope that everyone in this hemisphere is enjoying the end of Summer, and looking forward to Fall. Fall is, by far, my favorite time of year. It’s not just the crisper, but not overly cold weather, but it’s also being able to grab a light jacket, the lead in to the High Holy Days, my brother’s birthday, my birthday, Samhain, and my little pumpkin’s “Adoption Day”. It’s a great time of reflection, prayer, grounding, and self-awareness.

I’m moving towards a mid-life birthday this year (based primarily on how old my parents were when they passed away), and while not really looking forward to it, I am still wondering exactly when I stopped being 17 (FYI: I have always been this mature and introspective.). I suppose we all have moments in our lives when we look at our personal growth or we look in the mirror, and we feel the growth, but we say “How old AM I? This feels no different from <insert age here>.” I suppose I’m all right, I’m still being carded at the liquor store and on the rare occasion when I buy a lottery ticket. I could have so many other things to complain about, but I don’t. I am trying very hard to focus on the positive and not allow myself to delve deeply into the negative.

Apart from certain things, like Fibromyalgia and migraines from hell, I am healthy, I’m loved, I have amazing people in my life, and it is my firm belief that things can get better, and will.

So, as I return to work, I wish you a day of self-reflection and blessings. I’ll be back as soon as I can.

Into The Flame

2014-08-122014-08-12 Miss Poison Inspiration, Poison In Lethal Doses, Writing Honesty, Things That Irritate Me, Words, Writing

Into The Flame

In attempting to establish this beautiful new blog, I realize that my writing style has changed a bit from all those years ago. I haven’t changed, the core of who I am has made some adjustments, but with my writing, I’ve simply polished the diamond.

The bio for this blog is pretty simple, but I like it that way. It gives you, the reader, the opportunity to get to know me from one post to the next. So, in keeping with that “get to know you” phase, I thought I’d elaborate a bit on the difference between enjoying sharing your thoughts via the written word and being an experienced writer. Two very different beasts indeed.

It galls me at times when people ask what I do. I can tell you for a fact that I could care less what another person does professionally, so long as they’re a decent person and they treat me with respect. I’m not sure when relationships and friendships all became a fucking job interview. I blame Facebook. People are always trying to impress one another with their professions, the vacations they take, family photos, the houses they purchase, the parties they throw, the cars they drive, etc. And we wonder why there is STILL a mortgage crisis? We wonder WHY people are losing their jobs, their homes, their health?!? It’s because no one has any priorities, they are all too fucking busy with their smart-phones in their faces checking Facebook statuses. I have seen this in every professional setting I have encountered. I have seen this in every doctor’s office I have been in. Hell, I’ve seen this in hospital waiting rooms! It’s fucking ridiculous, and obviously, a major pet peeve of mine.

Last week, a person asked me what I do, and I said what I always say “I’m a writer.” I did not elaborate any further. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, for the most part. And yet, they were immediately impressed. I have no idea why, because often times, being a writer means struggling and suffering for your art. And make no mistake, any writer of real quality IS an artist. Some people think that by having a blog where they post jumbled words, or random thoughts, it automatically makes them a writer. It doesn’t, but before you jump down my throat, allow me to explain. (And no, I am not insulting anyone. You’ll certainly know it when I do. I have no qualms and will call anyone out on their bullshit.)

I am a writer because it’s God given ability. I come from a long line of great communicators of the written word. We all tend to speak the exact same way we write. My parents, God Rest & Bless Their Souls, were both gifted writers, but not by trade. My Grandfather was an amazing writer, again, not by trade. My Aunt has had a lot of her work published, and she is also not a writer by trade.

I knew very early on that 1) I’d never work a 9-5 job that I’d hate, 2) That I was a creative type, and always would be, and 3) That I would NEVER answer to anyone. In turn, people have always published my work unedited.

I had to put my foot down the first time a person cut my work to shreds and published it without first running it past me. I told him “Do you REALLY think you’re qualified to do that? You destroyed the entire piece!” The rage I felt was unreal. He mulled it over and came to a decision: He didn’t think he was qualified, and he never did it again. He, and everyone thereafter, was afraid to touch what I’d worked so hard on. They decided they had to accept it “as is”, and the fact of the matter is, I knew exactly what I was doing by being a challenging pain in the ass. People stopped being concerned about space and started being more concerned about making sure I was a part of their projects.

That is precisely how “Poison In Lethal Doses” came to be the very special thing I have always considered it. Some of the first reviews I ever received said things like “She will say ANYTHING, beautifully spreading her words like poison from a wound.” or “Looking forward to the next dose of poison.” The original name was Black & Red Roses, and the material was thorny, pardon the pun. My words and reputation quickly solidified me as far from flowery. I then chose the new title, and kept going, always pushing boundaries. If anyone in that particular community disliked it, they simply did not have the power to stop me or shut me up.

I have always been more impressed with web-site and blog content, as opposed to design. I have seen some beautiful sites with horrible content. I have seen some stunning blogs that made me cringe when I saw the run on sentences, the lack of commas, improper sentence structure, poor grammar, and, on occasion, the particular style of writing. In this, I am a perfectionist. If I catch an error in my own work, or one slips past me, I will correct it as soon as I see it. Mistakes do happen, but the essence of the written word on anything I place my name on is going to be of quality. It is going to be real and done with a measure of finesse.

There are words I loathe, and there are things people do with words that makes me want to physically harm them. Some of which are, but are never limited to the following:

#1- Any version of ya’ll. I don’t care how it’s used or spelled, it is wrong. I LOVE being in Texas, but I cringe when people speak and use that word. It just plain drives me insane. If you live south of the Mason-Dixon line or you’re from the Midwest, don’t be offended that I said this, realize it’s a regional difference in how people speak.

#2- Anyone that cannot spell “all right”. It’s two words people, not one. English 101 teaches you this. Hell, elementary school English teaches you this basic fact!

#3- Improper grammar and not completing a word. Unless you’re a Platinum selling rapper, don’t write like one.

#4- Using the word “‘cause”. Unless there is cause to use the word, try using because. It makes you look a little more put together, even if you aren’t. It brings no character to your work whatsoever, unless, perhaps, it is character driven dialogue.

#5- Most slang words. Call me crazy, I do not find them charming.

Regional and cultural phrases sometimes bother me, but as a person with a prominent accent when tired or pissed off, this is one thing I tend to let slide. I’m educated enough to know what people mean, thank God and Goddess. I have accents all around me and I like it that way.

I am an immense fan of the written word. My own work, and the work of a great many others. I am a Bibliophile personified. I collect first edition hard-covers of books that I feel are amazing bodies of work. I am not a fan of anything considered to be “classic literature”, I have very specific reading tastes. In most cases, if it is considered “classic”, I have chosen not to read it. If you’re a “classics” fan, I assure you I’ve read things you’ve never even heard of.

I have a long list of authors whose work I follow religiously. My year starts out with a list of books I have to pre-order and another list of holds to place at my local library for books I want to read, but know I will never read twice. I re-read several different collections from a handful of authors at least twice a year, sometimes more if I have the time. It is not uncommon for me to write extensive book reviews on eBay, Amazon, Goodreads, or on “…..And The Moon Sees All”. I’ve simply reached a point where, on the other blog, I don’t feel my individual writing efforts are truly being appreciated, so I am bringing it all here. There will be fresh material and material you have never seen before. If it is new to your eyes and is enlightening or encourages you to think, then that’s what I intended for it to do.

My love of the written word also carries over to quotes, song lyrics, and movie scripts. I know the entire Harry Potter movie collection by heart, and I do all of the voices. My current cats’ middle name is “Firebolt”, need I say more? (And if you saw her run around, you’d find it apropos. Sometimes I have to see if hellhounds are chasing her butt. She’s a sneaky little ninja.)

I’ve been writing for a long time. When I began writing, I had no idea what I was doing. The advice gifted to me was this: “Write what you think and write what you feel, and if someone doesn’t like it, tough shit.” To this day, that makes me smile. My mother knew what she was doing, but she had no idea what she was going to create by encouraging my inner voice to become so much bigger and bolder. I realize that as a quiet, shy, introverted kid, she was giving me the tools to become someone strong who spoke her mind eloquently, and fiercely. On days when I don’t know what to say or think, I remember those words and remind myself that being myself is the very best gift I can give others with my work, and as a person.

Being a writer of quality takes time. It means writing a lot of things and throwing them out. It means that not everything you write is going to be fabulous. It means having notebooks full of things you’ve written, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Being a good writer requires a serious dose of keen observation of others and the world at large. It’s not all humor and anecdotes, and it’s not all rants and complaints. In this, we all bring something varied to the table on a blog. However, if you’re anything like me, I am betting the work that stands out the most is that which you know took dedicated time, care, devotion, and slivers of their soul.

For some people, writing is a hobby, or something they love to do, but for me, writing is part of who I am. It is ability and talent, and I don’t place a lot of ego into it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know what I am good at. When writing is topic based, I focus on the topic and my views. When it is character based, I slip into the skin of my characters and allow them to speak. Each day, I grow. Each platform affords me the opportunity to broaden my horizons and be this much better than I was the day before. It’s about honing artistic talent every single day of my life. Because for me, writing is my art.

Something New, Something Old…

2014-08-06 Miss Poison Being Real, Honesty, Pieces Of Me, Poison In Lethal Doses, Unedited, Unfiltered, Writing Lisa Marino, Poison In Lethal Doses, Returning To My Roots, Writing

Sometimes, it’s good to return to your roots. It helps remind you where you come from, how far you have come from step one, and how much more you intend to achieve.

“Poison In Lethal Doses” was always my place to be brutally honest. That will continue on here. It was my “Say anything, and say it loud.” position within the community of which I was a part of for so very long. I walked away from the community for a laundry list of reasons, but I own the copyrights and have decided to bring myself back to how so much of myself began. I cut my teeth on this particular concept and while many people are quite original and individualistic now on a larger scale, I worked with the scale that was placed in front of me. It became this huge thing very quickly, but when I walked away, I never left the core of who I am behind.

This will be the place for the more brutal side of me. There won’t be any kindness or sympathy to be found here, just me, in my normal, unfiltered fashion.

I hope that you, the reader, will come to enjoy this as much as I enjoy having that place to be myself without limits.