“After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.” ―Judith Lewis Herman
Sadly, this quote speaks to me today. I had to take medication for an insane panic attack that popped up out of nowhere, and I’m trying not to break down in tears because I have to hit the pause button on my life for the remainder of the day, AGAIN. This has been happening a lot over the past few months. I am so completely freaked out and this was made worse by waking up with some paralysis in my neck and upper back. In trying to reduce inflammation in my body, other issues moved to the forefront. I wish people understood and could be compassionate about what I am going through, but the truth is, I don’t know too many people who give a rat’s ass OR who encourage me to do what I always do, which is the best I can from hour to hour.
If there’s one message I would share with other sufferers, it’s this; You’re doing the best you can. Sometimes that means going back to sleep because your drowsiness cannot be fixed with caffeine, it’s too bone deep. Sometimes it means taking a short walk, or cancelling everything and focusing solely on your own needs. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re lesser because you’re suffering. They should walk a thousand miles in your shoes before passing judgment with their mouths.