Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. As someone who has experienced loss over this, and been there for those who’ve been gutted by loss, I feel it’s important to speak up.

I’m personally having a rough time. This year has been especially difficult. I’ve kept my mouth shut, though. How many times can you be shrugged off, ignored, or told “You just want attention!”? Fact: I’m the least likely person you’ll know who is “seeking attention”. I live an extremely private, quiet, “I don’t share everything with you.” existence. Someone recently told me that’s in direct contrast with my writing, where I’m, in essence, a public figure and a strong voice for the invisible illness community. Maybe that’s true. I don’t think about it much.

Before I reached the end of my rope a few months ago, I was lucky, because someone stepped up and stepped in and they’re doing their best, and I’m doing the work. Commitment is a two-way street. However, there’s no real end to how I feel. It’s always there.

If you have a clear-cut diagnosis; don’t go off your medication. If you’re having a bad time, call your doctor or therapist. Don’t reach out to people who’ve never provided support. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, though. That super supportive friend/family member/partner might not respond if you’ve abused the relationship by posting their responses to you, sharing their text messages publicly, or calling them and desperately seeking attention, as opposed to saying “I need help.” If you say the right things, people will be there for you. However, if you abuse the fact that they take your three a.m. phone calls, treat them like second-class citizens, or show them you don’t care in kind, it is what it is. I can only speak for how I’d react to that kind of behavior. The answer is: Not well.

Know your triggers. Stay away from them, so long as they are avoidable. Also, you cannot drink alcohol on your meds. That’s asking for trouble, so learn to pass because skipping daily meds just so you can drink is going to screw you up even more. If you don’t feel your medication is working, call your doctor immediately.

I nearly hit rock bottom last week. I didn’t talk about it, because the person who caused the trigger should have known better than to attack me. I kept my mouth shut, because I’m not seeking advice or assistance. I’m not asking anyone to intervene. I’m the one who has lived this every single day for the majority of my life. I’ll figure it out, or I won’t. It won’t be anyone’s fault if I don’t figure it out. Simple fact.

If you can help someone, please do, but don’t be afraid to call the police. If this subject matter triggers you, please seek immediate medical attention.

I can’t recommend a hotline (Nor will I ever!), but I can recommend reaching out to your doctor and therapist, or a local support team that can come to you. Even if this means leaving the house and letting them see how not okay you are.

For those of you who judge; you’ve obviously never suffered a whole lot in your life, or you have zero emotional understanding. Kudos to you. 😒 Millions of people have been through horrible things, and there’s no need to hide in the dark if you’re not a shiny, happy person. It’s okay.

#MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #EndTheStigma